It's hard. It's difficult. Especially when you're a doctor. Because doctors save lives. Doctors give hope to their patients. Doctors need to be positive and strong no matter what. And that's exactly why Alex has refused to recognise the pain and agony that he went through and is still going through ever since he paved the way out of his life for Izzie. He ignored his conscience and let himself turn into the man he was before Izzie happened and slept with Lexie knowing very well that Lexie was hurting too, just like him.
It's been 3 weeks since the shooting. Alex was discharged yesterday and will be back to work today. For the past 3 whole weeks, Lexie was by his side taking care of him and Alex knows that very well. But, he also knows that he called for Izzie that day when he was almost dying and he realized that acting like a duck around Lexie is not working and will not mend his broken heart. He also knows for sure that it's time for him and Lexie to put a stop to whatever that it is that they're trying to have with each other.
He has not really spoken much to Lexie since the shooting. Just the usual "hi" and "how are you"s. It was a conscious decision though. He didn't want to bring up what happened during the shooting and he knew that Lexie was not comfortable talking about it. But, today is a new day. Things need to get back to how they should be. In a way, in a very weird way, Alex was glad that the shooting happened. It helped him realise how strong he is and how much he loves Izzie. So, he decided that he's not going to live in a lie anymore and he's going to let Lexie know that.
Lexie 's still staying in Meredith's of a sudden, after everything that happened throughout the year, right from her father's surgery till the recent shooting, Lexie felt that the bond between Mer and her has been strengthen. They have really become the Grey sisters now.
"Oh My God, Lexie! What are you doing? Why is the kitchen in such a mess?" screamed Meredith as she stepped into her kitchen. "Oh, its the dye. Sorry, I will clean it up as soon as I'm done." Lexie replied immediately. "Oh, ookay...you're coloring your hair back to dark?" said Meredith. Meredith was never fond of that blonde fix for Lexie, she felt that it didn't suit Lexie's personality, but of course, Meredith chose not to comment on it that time.
"It's good...you look good as a brunette" Meredith continued with a smile.
Lexie just nodded her head. She knew that her sister was right. Heck, she even knew that the blond hair was not for her the day she dyed her hair blond. But, she lived with it. She did it for some reason that only she could fathom. She needed a change after the break up with Mark. She wanted to move on and she needed to do something that was visible. And, dying her hair was one of the ways of doing it. But now, all that she wants is to be herself again. Somehow, getting back to her dark hair reminded her of the happier days and that made her feel better, stable and safe. Besides, Mark was right. Lexie was never badass. She is sweet, cute and clumsy.
"Hey, how are you?" Lexie asked Alex who was standing beside her as Dr Bailey briefed everyone about an important surgery. "I'm good." he said. Alex didn't notice the change in her hair colour and frankly, Lexie didn't expect him too. "So, you are going to assist Dr. Arizona?" Lexie asked trying to start a conversation. "Ya, and we're not anything." Alex quickly replied. "What?" Lexie asked, confused. "You know, before the shooting, you asked if we were a thing...but, I was just playing along...I don't feel anything towards you...so, we should just stop trying...!" Alex said. Lexie was stunned. She didn't say anything. Alex just walked away as called him.
Lexie didn't expect that from Alex, atleast not this soon. But, as strange as it sounds, Lexie felt relieved. She felt like a huge burden was removed from her. Now, she's free. Free from feeling guilty. Because, ever since Mark professed his love for her, Lexie has been thinking about Mark and his words even during all the times Alex was with her. And feeling and thinking about Mark around Alex, expecially after Alex confirmed that they were a thing made Lexie feel like she was cheating, betraying herself and Alex. So, now she's relieved. She's glad that Alex felt the same way as she did about the two of them.
"Dr. Grey!", someone called her name out, and it was Dr Bailey. "Yes, ." Lexie replied. She was not concentrating on what was happening around her. "You better follow Dr Sloan now before you get kicked out from his service, Grey. Stop dreaming! Go, now." Dr Bailey said with a stern look. Lexie was stunned for the second time in a row. Dr Sloan, it's Mark. Lexie's under Mark's service today and that's the last thing that she would want to happen. She has not spoken to him for a very long time and it's going to be very awkward after what had happened between her, Alex and Mark in the hospital during the shooting. But, this might just be what she needs. She should use this opportunity to try and smoothen things back with him. The least she could do is thank him for protecting her the other day and saving Alex's life.
Mark was briefing the interns on the case. "Dr. Grey, you can go prep the patient. Room 103." Mark said. He didn't look at her. He didn't want to. Lexie felt a tinge of nervousness when she heard him call her but she ignored the feeling and headed towards the room.
She was checking up on the patient when Mark came into the room. He was standing behind her, not too close though. And the moment he realised that her hair was no more blond, he smiled. He loved Lexie in her dark hair. But, he didn't comment on it. Instead, he turned his attention towards the patient and briefed the patient about the surgery. "So, Mr David. The surgery is at 3.00 pm and I will see you in the OR." he said and quickly walked out of the room without a word for Lexie.
"Mark, I need to..." Lexie said walking after him."Dr. Grey, is there anything that you need to tell me, regarding the patient...or the surgery?" Mark asked, turning to her. " No. No, Dr. Sloan" Lexie replied, with some noticeable dissapointment in her tone. "Alright,then" Mark said, leaving her behind.
Lexie was dissapointed and was almost about to tear. But she controlled herself. She has successfully pushed away the man she loves and whom also loved her dearly. She didn't expect Mark to react the way he did after the shooting when he seemed to be interacting with her without any problem. She thought that she could thank him for what he had done and maybe just maybe ,working with him on a surgery might just help them get back on track. She misses him a lot, she misses talking to him and most importantly she misses the way they were, together.
Mark entered one of the empty on call rooms nearby and sat on the bed. He covered his face with his million-dollar hands and just lied on the bed. It's not that he did'nt want to talk to Lexie. It's just that he wants to be a gentleman. After watching Lexie confess her love for Alex, he didn't want to disturb her. Mark didn't want to hurt himself further by talking to her. Because, talking to her, even looking at her makes him feel the love he has for her and he doesn't want to feel.
He has already betrayed a lot of people in his life. He has already done enough damage to other people. Most importantly, he had already betrayed Derek by sleeping with Addison which eventually ripped their marriage apart. He doesn't want to mess Lexie's life as well. This is new to him. Truly loving a person for who she is and having it not being just about the sex is just a whole new world to him. And, watching that woman he loves with another man makes it harder.
Right when he was about to get out of the bed and go for his surgery, someone dashed into the room.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter 1. Thanks a lot for the encouragement and ideas. I had to rewrite this chapter as I couldn't find the original doc. So, I ended this chapter with a suspense. Who's that someone who dashed into the room? Okay, I know that you'll might have some ideas...pls tell me who you think it is...Please review this chapter and let me know how it is and what I can do to improve. Thanks again.