Standard Disclaimer applies.
A/N: WOW, I actually had a chapter written. It's been 'sitting' there. I polished it up a bit. I'm so sorry I haven't updated since 4.22.08. Argh, I'm so mean! Don't worry about the future; I was struck with a hopefully great idea for the next chapter!
Hatori's Remedy presents:
Chapter 49: Before the Storm
The tug on her scarf was so gentle, so careful. Startled at the foreign touch, Tohru looked up, wide-eyed. Him. The boy she had cried about for the past several weeks. Kyo. He had a shy, pensive smile on his thin lips. He looked so young, so fragile, so vulnerable. He was wearing a white poplin shirt, which seemed to flap in the gentle breeze, his hands in his pockets. He was the first to speak, without making direct eye contact. His simple 'Hey Tohru' was pleasant to her ears. It was rich and baritone, yet innocent and honeyed.
She just stared, forcing him to wave his hands in front of her glazed eyes. "Whoo-hoo. Are you there, Tohru?"
"Hai. I wanted to say th-that I'm so, so, super, super sorry. I didn't mean to say I didn't love you, I do love you, in a different way, like when a girl loves a pretty flower, and admires it from afar, but never wants to pick it, because it will wither because she can't provide it with the love that the soil and sun have. Oh, I'm not making any sense – I just want you to know - "
"I forgive you," he blurted. He saw the pain in her eyes. She had been worried, and that was enough to console his cracked heart. He did not like to see the girl he admired, flustered.
"You're not mad at me?"
He snorted. "You should know. How could I ever be mad at you? You are my best friend."
Tohru's eyes were now blurrier than before. "I am?"
"Yeah, and I realized that being in a relationship with you could ruin things. I would have to be all romantic, and I'm sure I could not handle opening doors for you and whispering sweet, fake words about how your hair is like pure gold in the sun, or how you walk as gracefully as water strider, and all that bullshit. I like our relationship now. I can tease you without hurting your feelings. Becoming a couple would bring things to an entirely different level."
"Oh Kyo." She wanted to hug him.
"I'm sorry for overreacting."
"I love you."
"I-I c-care for you too."
Tohru chuckled and stood up, patting her dirt caked knees. "I'm so glad. Want to make breakfast with me? I'm going to make one big omelet for us, filled with carrots, peppers, onions, and mushrooms."
"Sounds great. I don't cook, but I'll make an exception today."
They picked more ripe vegetables before returning to the house. He was a gentleman. Tohru saw Hatori's black car parked in the driveway. Her heart beat in her chest, frantically. She stopped in her tracks.
"Is something wrong, Tohru?" Kyo said, noticing her stop.
"No-nothing."
She did not want Hatori to come to the house. She might touch his arm in a way that would attract wonder and inquiry, or she might blurt out his pet name. How strange that would be! When they looked at her, she would stammer and blush. She could just see the tragedy unfolding before her eyes. She continued walking. She removed her shoes in the foyer, noticing Hatori's black-clad figure on the couch, across from Shigure.
"Good morning, Tohru-kun!" Shigure called out loudly, as though there was some barrier between them.
"Good morning Shigure," she said, finally making eye contact with the two men. "Good morning, Hatori." She bowed politely.
"What's for breakfast?" Shigure asked.
"Omelet and crepes with yellow squash chutney. I saw the recipe in a book."
"I don't like spicy." He made a face.
"Don't worry, it will be sweet."
Hatori did not speak, he merely observed. Tohru seemed calm on the outside, but he knew she was a bundle of nerves on the inside. He could tell by the way she was moving her fingers. It was a quirky little thing. He saw the silver bracelet dangling from her wrist.
"Hatori, are you staying for breakfast?"
"Hai."
"Great." She said, nonchalantly. She was good at hiding her emotions. Just like him.
Kyo followed her into the kitchen. Hatori frowned. He had not even noticed the cat boy, sulking behind her, with a wicker basket packed with green bell peppers, pearl-white onions, and heirloom tomatoes. The tomatoes, from the seeds he had given her for her birthday.
Breakfast was a lighthearted affair. Shigure made silly jokes and brought out childhood memories. He would start each one, 'Hatori, remember when you…' Hatori would glare at Shigure and mumble something like, 'How great. He's dragging out dirty laundry for his own amusement.' Shigure would continue, unfettered. The man was a gregarious jack-in-the-box.
Tohru laughed.
--
Later that night, Hatori came to the house. He bounced a tennis ball off the outside of Tohru's bedroom. Moments later, a sleepy-eyed girl leaned from the window and waved to him.
"Hey Hatori!"
"Can you come down?"
She nodded and disappeared from the window.
"Hello Ha'ri."
"Kyo came back? Is he okay?"
"Hai. He says it would have been weird to be my boyfriend because we are such good friends."
Good. No crazy, enraged cat prowling the forest.
"That's good."
He could see the less tension lines in her features.
"Have you thought about college?"
She looked away from him, not responding.
"What are you interested in?"
"I love taking care of people, cooking, reading…"
"You should start thinking about all that. You have to apply to colleges soon. Have you started writing essays, getting teacher recommendations, filling out tedious applications? What about school now, you are doing okay right? Do you need any help in math, I'm-I'm decent in that?"
She looked puzzled by his sudden outburst of inquiries. She bit on her bottom lip. "I have started writing essays and filling out applications online."
"I just… want you to have a successful career." Yes, I am bitter about my life before you. I wanted to become a doctor, but what if I didn't? I would still have been thrust into that field, so I could be a useful pawn. I want you to do something you love. So you will be happy.
"I am thinking about taking psychology or go to culinary school. I kind of want to become a teacher, too. Or a botanist. I am so… indecisive." She emitted a shy giggle, uncomfortable about taking about her future. Her heart pounded, and she began sweating. Why am I so nervous? I'm only taking to Hatori. He asked an innocent question.
Her eyes shifted, the whites of her eyes glowing in the darkness, only lit by the sickle-shaped moon low in the sky.
The reason she was so awkward was because her mom wasn't here. A mom was supposed to be there to ask questions about the future. But she was gone. She had not felt sad about her mom's death in a long while. This was the first painful thought.
Mom, I miss you so much.
--
Several nights later, he visited again. He enjoyed these peaceful times together.
Tohru rested her head on Hatori's lap. Moments later, she was asleep, lulled by his soft hands caressing her hair, lovingly, delicately; her body was impermeable to the cold.
He gazed at her face, the features distinct yet delicate. What a pretty thing. Something was on her mind. Through after they stopped talking about college, she seemed more relaxed. She takes all the burdens upon herself. She shouldn't. It's bad for her health.
His eyes glimmered. They were no longer cold, but orbs of light. He thought that he was no good enough for her. He always had these bouts of self-pitying. His cold demeanor, his thin crooked lips, his scarred eye. But she seemed to be satisfied with him. She had offered him her heart. He had taken it eagerly.
He closed his eyes, to imprint that image of her in his brain. He began to hum. The sound was so foreign, so unearthly, so cracked, but he continued. It was a song his mother sung to him when he was a boy. She did it before he went to bed, sometimes when his father was not at home. It is about muddy shores, morning dew, secret alcoves in trees, and cherry blossoms. It is about love, friendship, and maturation. He couldn't remember the words, but the melody seemed to flow from his lips, like honey.
That was when he realized how much he missed her. She had taught him how to love. And the love had been suppressed for so long, only brought out recently, by an equally loving woman. He had remembered her saying to him, "Look, your dad loves you. He just doesn't always show it. Please forgive him. I have."
Flashback:
"But he hurts you."
"It's okay. It does hurt. I've gotten used to it."
"How can you ever get used to someone hitting you?!"
"When you love someone, you are willing to overlook their flaws."
"But why does he do it?"
"He is stressed. He has many duties. He has not had an easy life, but he tries his best, and when he fails, he feels like it is his fault. His father was never around, that man never taught him how to control the power or when to use it, so your father has that conscience that punished him when he erased someone's memory. Please don't be mad at him."
End Flashback
He remembered how he crossed his arms and shook his head. But his mom was always able to convince him to agree with her.
--
Yuki had heard talking drift through his window for the past hour, but now it was quiet. Who was downstairs? It was fucking two in the morning. Ever the curious little mouse, he slipped on some bunny slippers and walked downstairs. He gripped the railing, careful not to make a sound. He noticed a figure on the porch. No. That couldn't be.
He inched closer. Hatori? Who had he been talking to? Why at Shigure's house? Hatori wasn't delusional? Hatori was too distant to talk to anyone. He was too broken, too immersed in the past, too miserable.
He would file this memory somewhere in the back of his mind.
--
Three days later, Tohru was sitting in Hatori's office, on the opposite side of his desk, studying. Hatori was supposed to be doing taxes, but his mind was far off. He admired the woman in front of him. His eyes grew cloudy. He felt the moment was bittersweet; two people, brought up differently, but united by a common sympathetic soul. It would have been crazy for an outsider to see this kind of blossoming relationship: these two people who seemed to enjoy the simplicity of life.
"Tohru, do you want to go shopping some time?" I don't want to deprive you of what 'normal' couples do. Just because I am old and bitter does not mean I want to taint your wholesome being.
She stuttered, "Uh, I like shopping, but I don't want to go if you don't want to. I mean what's so fun about trying on different clothes and parading it?" She responded determinedly, knowing that he did not like public places – loud and swarming with people he could come in bodily contact with…
"I would like to." He said simply.
"Okay."
"When are you free? I mean, I don't want to interfere with your studying."
"Thursday after school."
"I will pick you up at the library."
"Hai."
He gave her a melancholy smile.
--
On Thursday, he left his house hurriedly. Akito just happened to be outside. She watched him. Why did he look so… what was the word… happy? His walk was light and untroubled. His back was not hunched. That wasn't Hatori. No longer lost and sad. Akito's small cold hands grabbed hold of the back of wooden bench. She sat down and closed her eyes, thinking. It wasn't a new girl, was it? Of course he wouldn't dare bring her to the estates. Akito would have to get to the bottom of this.
--
Hatori always felt a little jolt in his heart when he saw her. She was sitting on the second floor of the library, facing the streets. Her saw her profile, and it seemed that she was writing something, but as he got closer, he noticed that her eyes were closed, but her fingers clutched the pen tightly, and that she was writing. Odd. Most odd.
He decided to sit across from her and watch this unusual behavior. It was quite intriguing. Strands of her hair had fallen out of the loose bun at the back of her head, so most onlookers would not notice. Her features were serene and unperturbed. He leaned over the table to see what she was writing. Instead, she was scribbling and doodling; she could have been featured on a television show for strange and unusual hidden talents. He smiled before leaning across the table to see what she was doing. He was careful not to breath to hard to awake her. He did see some hearts, and inside one heart, two figures holding hands. It was just a doodle, but it meant the world to him; she thought of him, she thought of him! He occupied her mind, and here he was thinking that she didn't care about him.
Then she woke up. "What-what? How long have I been sleeping? I didn't mean to," she rambled. "Oh, hello Hatori."
"Hello sleepy girl. Are you ready for shopping?" His voice sounded unfamiliarly giddy and foreign.
"Hai." She took out a purse from her backpack. She reached for his hand and they made there way to his car in the parking garage downstairs. "Fashion district, right?"
"Hai, is it where you want to go?"
She nodded. While they were on a straight lane, he took her hand and placed a kiss in her palm. It felt like the caress of a feather, lingering. It was on her mind until the found a parking spot on the street. While Hatori inserted money into the parking meter, Tohru said, "We're going to buy you some clothes. Your wardrobe is too… earthy."
"What's wrong with that?"
"It makes you look sad."
"Aren't I the sad, stuffy, stoic man?" Tohru frowned. "No. You are Hatori, my Hatori, the one who protected me when no one else was at home, spent an evening with my relatives, kissed me in a tree, helped me with the dishes, tucked me in at night, gave me the best birthday ever. You are the one who forgives my stubbornness. I savor every moment with you. You are not stuffy and stoic, but sometimes you look sad."
I look sad, because I always feel that my good fortune –you, will disappear.
"I put the prettiness of my wardrobe in your hands, miss." Hatori said. Those words coming out of his mouth sounded rather funny.
They shuffled in and out of several stores. Hatori tried on several pieces at Tohru's suggestion.
"That shirt looks very nice on you." Tohru had chosen a pale blue linen collared shirt with military accents on the shoulder. "The fabric feels nice, but a little scratchy."
"It will keep you cool during the summer, like silk."
"I will not wear silk."
Tohru smiled. "We'll see about that."
Hatori looked at her with horror. Ayame had a ruffled yellow shirt. He, Hatori the doctor would not wear something so unusual. Tohru found a designer black silk jumpsuit. Runway stuff was always 'out there.' "Try this on."
Hatori shook his head inflexibly, but finally gave in, but not without getting something out of it himself. "You have to try on something I pick out for you too."
"Alright."
"Wait here." He wanted to find something strange, as strange as the silk jumpsuit. But when he went to the women's department downstairs, he laid eyes on the prettiest dress; something that would fit into Tohru's wardrobe seamlessly, except it was more mature. It fit his taste very well, and he was sure she would like it. The cloth cascaded down the mannequin like a waterfall, soft and free, yet it did not spill onto the floor, with its scalloped edge. It's shape reminded him of a nightgown, but it had more elegance. The unique silhouette was not skin-tight, but would shift with one's movements. The ivory color would look beautiful on Tohru's alabaster skin. And of course, it had to be silk. He went to the third floor to find Tohru. She was looking for slacks. "What do you think of this grey color with the black pinstripes?" She said when she heard him approaching.
"It's nice." She grabbed one off the rack, his exact size, since she did his laundry sometimes (in the privacy of the night at Shigure's house, where no one would know). "Great, you'll try this on. Have you found anything for me? I know it is payback for me having you wear all those interesting pieces. I have something else for you to try on, these black silk boxers."
Hatori lifted an eyebrow. Though his sexual appetite had been dormant for a long time, it had returned vibrantly, voraciously when Tohru became a part of his life. Silk boxers, eh?
"You will be a silkworm, Ha'ri." Ha'ri the silkworm.
"Follow me." He grasped her hand and led her into a fitting room. "Wait here."
He left to get the dress. "Close your eyes."
She did as told, when he opened the door. One hand covered her eyes while the other placed the dress in front of Tohru after he shut the door quietly. He whispered low in her eyes. "Open your eyes." She did, and her jaw dropped when she saw her reflection in the mirror. "What do you think of it?"
Her voice was as soft and clear as a distant chime. "It's beautiful. It looks like a wedding dress."
"I'll leave you so you can put on the gown."
"No stay, just don't look."
He did as told, facing the corner, like a naughty boy who had done wrong. True, he was thinking indecent thoughts. The rustle of her clothing falling to the floor. When he heard her let out a sweet little sound of contentment, he grew hard. Everything in him was alive, even the deepest, hidden corner of his heart. Because of her. Look at what you do to me, Tohru. Honestly, do you ever think I can let you go?
"Ha'ri, can you do the buttons in the back?"
"Hai." Something to occupy his lizard brain. But no, that meant touching her! Yikes! He did not look at her, just yet. His fingers fumbled with the small buttons, noticing that she was not wearing a bra with the dress. With an exasperated huff, he finished. He stood up and looked at her, full-length. He was at a loss for words.
--
A/N: Thanks for reading. Reviews are always cherished (those of you who review for this chapter will get a response in the next chapter--). I love you all.