- Five -

(Hanna is Not a Boy's Name/HiNaBN (c) Miss Tessa Stone --- Fanfiction Text (c) L.Q. Coverdale)
(Content: Mentions of violence and language in the text as a whole; chapters may vary in amounts. Minor substance implications can be found in this chapter.)

And so, once a few days had passed and the antibiotics began working more efficiently, it was decreed that the lion poisson would not leave Doctor Worth's office. Instead, be dumped into the biggest fish tank Lamont could find, and then be relocated as far away from the city's port area as possible. Worth was not amused.

The decision had been made after Veser had gone back to his college dormitories. After being the brunt of several "dead smelly shark" jokes until he stepped into a hot shower, Veser had come out, towelling his hair off, while his roommate and said roommate's friend were talking. Their conversation was, unsurprisingly, irrelevant to Veser - which video game female character was the hottest, which pizza topping was the nastiest, how much beer a mammoth could down before dropping dead, and so on. It wasn't until he had sat down to enjoy leftover pizza did a certain tidbit of talk catch Veser's attention.

"Dude, so, what about that huuuuuuge fish you lost at the pier today?" said Tim, the roommate.

"We're still looking for it," said Dilbert, the friend. "Casey was flipping out after she lost that harpoon she made herself. Said she looked it up on the Internet and everything, right down to sharpening the tip."

Veser paused in mid-bite, bright green eyes darting over towards the pair.

"Really? I mean, the b/#=/ is obsessed with DIYs, but seriously? She made a friggin' harpoon?"

"Yep. Threatened to poke out me twig and berries with another one if I kept teasing her about loosing her kill. Said it was the biggest fish she'd ever caught in her fishing career."

" ... She's only been fishing for three days, though."

"That's what's funny! How does the stupid *** think she'll catch anything with such inexperience? She doesn't have a man's finesse! When she tried to make sushi with us the last time, Shark Boy over there smelt like fish guts for a week!"

"I'm eating over here, you know," said Veser dryly. The talk of fish guts, however, wasn't the only reason his appetite was quickly diminishing that particular supper-time.

"So ... let me get this straight," said Hanna. "You're telling me that you think one of your college buddies is the reason the fish-kitty has a spear point in its shoulder?"

"Positive," said Veser, actually acting serious for once. Well ... he'd been acting pretty serious the past couple of days, what with the lion poisson's condition and all, but this much actual maturity seemed to be a first for him. "I know Casey. Ever since she got into college, she's been trying to stop being such a 'girly-girl' that she was in high school. She's been trying hunting, camping, survival training and everything, so this wouldn't be beyond her 'quest for not-girliness' or whatever the hell she calls it. And, I know she can be pretty determined to finish whatever job she starts; if she finds that lion poisson thing, and it happens to be what she hit .... "

"But it wouldn't be smart to release it back there, anyways," said Hanna. "I've been asking Lamont, and he says lobster traps and stuff have been disappearing all week. Besides, I highly doubt this nutso Casey chick is the worst of your problems if someone finds this thing. It's half lion, half fish, remember?"

"OI! Quit yer jibber-jamberin' and get over here!" snarled Worth, who was over by the table the lion poisson had taken up. "The bloody thing's startin' t' wake up!"

A loud, rumbling growl was heard from over by the doctor. The Australian hopped backwards, letting out a loud growl as the monster bared its teeth. Its good leg shifted, claws unsheathing, the seaweed-like mane it had beginning to puff out. Hanna was over by it in an instant.

"Easy boy ... " began the twenty-four year old. "Hey, easy ... easy .... "

He pulled out a stick of beef jerky from his left trouser pocket, offering it to the beast. The lion poisson's eyes crossed as it slowly looked down at the food. Hanna smiled sheepishly.

"Um ... yeah ... th-there you go ... have a - "

"RAWR!"

"NYAH!"

SNAP!

Where Hanna's hand had been five seconds earlier, the lion poisson's jaws had now clamped down. The thing quickly downed the piece of jerky, eyes narrowing hungrily as it focused on Hanna. It licked its lips, and the paranormal investigator felt the hairs on his neck stand up. Worth snickered from a safe distance; Lamont was ignoring all this as he wheeled up the tank behind the creature. Dinkleburg was assisting him.

"Okay," said Lamont quietly, lion poisson still glaring hungrily at Hanna, "here's what we're going to do. Hanna, you tag the thing with whatever rune makes it fall asleep. When it's out cold, we get the sling under it, and gently pull it into the water. Is everyone ready?"

"Yes," said Dinkleburg.

"Mhm-hmm," said Doc.

"Y-yeah .... " said Hanna warily.

"Guess so," said Veser.

"All right then. Hanna, would you mind?"

The red-head audibly gulped, but nonetheless, pulled out his marker, his hammer and another few pieces of jerky. Slowly, he approached the lion poisson once more, saying, "Nice kitty ... just take the jerky ... there we go .... "

Once more, the lion poisson bit down, and once more, Hanna flinched back. He quickly scribbled a rune onto his hammer to use, but didn't realize his jerky-filled pocket was with clawing distance of the sea monster. Henceforth -

"Mriff!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"Rr-ROWR!!"

CRUNCH!

"AAAAAAAAGH! OHMIGOD OHMIGOD! DINKLE-BUUUUURG! GETITOFFGETITOFF GET IT OOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFF!!"

Worth began swearing like a sailor (as usual), frantically running to and rummaging in his nearby desk, attempting to find a spare sedative and a needle. (Sometimes, when Hanna was being reaaaally annoying, or something was reaaaally bothering the doctor, it helped to have a bit of his own medicine.)

"HANNA!" yelled Veser and Dinkleburg, both running forward to grab the lion poisson by the neck and pull it back.

"HOLD STILL!" yelled Lamont, grabbing a nearby 1996 calendar (never thrown out due to the ... questionable content each month's photo depicted) and immediately smacking the thing over the nose. It resisted the trio's efforts, instead focusing more on sinking it's teeth into Hanna's upper thigh. Human blood and beef jerky - in the creature's mind, yum.

Author's Note: I apologize for the briefness and the abrupt endings of some chapters. The attempt is to catch the essence of the story in less than 2000 words per chapter, as per what the experiment calls for. If anyone has any feedback on how I can further smooth out the chapter ends and chapter transitions, please let me know. I try my best to keep the pacing of the story at a reasonable level; any jerkiness is duly noted should it be brought up.