SMST 10: Deep Space Moon! – By Ocramed
Disclaimer: SM, R1/2, ST and other genres belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre story. As always, C&C are welcomed.
Special Note: This story takes place during Seasons 1 through 3 of "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine". "The Ranma Trek Chronicles" takes place during Seasons 4 through 7.
Author's Note: This story is designed to be short, and will focus mostly on Sailor Moon, though Ranma Saotome (of "Ranma ½") will make a cameo from time-to-time.
Part 26
Two days later…
"Okay," Usagi said, as she went over her notes. "Now, once we have the Bajoran monks-"
"They are…the 'Preylars'," Sisko said, as he walked around the staging area, where the various Federation-Bajoran ceremonies were to take place. Usagi decided that the best way to ease tension between the more reactionary Bajorans, many of whom support the goals of the Circle, and the non Bajorans was to put on a performance showcasing the different customs of Bajorans, humans and other species that happen to be present aboard the Federation station Deep Space Nine.
"Yes, the Preylars. Once they have performed their chants live, Major Kira will introduce Minister Jaro, Navarch Li, Vedeks Winn and Bariel, as well as you, and other important figures that will be involved in the how Federation-Bajoran will be managed."
"Are you sure I should be the one to introduce these people?" Kira asked, as she looked at the propose program schedule. "I mean, I won't be the liaison officer anymore."
"Consider this your last assignment," Sisko said. He then turned towards Usagi.
"But I have to say that I am impressed by what you have developed so far, counselor."
"Well, I do have diplomatic experience," Usagi said. "I even have my 'decoder ring' still."
"Oh, you have a decoder ring," Kira said.
"Why, yes."
"Oh, come on. I know you like to say some weird things, just to get on my nerves, but a 'decoder ring'? Give me a break."
"Actually, Federation diplomats, past and present, do have 'decoder rings'," Sisko said.
"See?" Usagi said, as she showed off a ring that had weird-looking script etched into the material. "Basically, these rings are advanced versions of the Universal Translator, complete with empathic and telepathic transmission capabilities."
"Really," Kira said flatly.
"Really. Not every sentient species are capable of humanoid speech. In fact, some of my past assignments involved non-humanoids who were mistaken for animals, such as the dolphin, whales and the Horta, to name a few…"
Pause.
"And to think, all this time, I was engaging in cannibalism, back on Earth when I was a child," Usagi said with a shudder. "I'm just glad that humans actually thought about what can and can't be eaten as meat for protein."
"Huh, you don't say…"
"It is a good thing that synthetics have advanced greatly enough to have adequate meat substitutes," Sisko said. "Otherwise, I would not be able to enjoy a good bowl of gumbo now and again…"
"'Gumbo', sir?" Kira asked.
"I'll explain later," Sisko said. "Anything else?"
"I wanted to know if I could perform for the celebration as well," Usagi said.
"If you're referring to your 'Luscious Luna' exhibition, then no, you can't. The last thing I want is a scandal on my hands."
"That? No, of course not. That would be highly inappropriate. No, I want to perform a traditional Japanese dance, with Keiko help as the narrator of the piece."
"Oh. Okay, you may proceed."
"Thank you, sir," Usagi said with a smile. "Hopefully, we have our act together without any problems-"
"Counselor, I was told that you have a…special shipment ready for you down in receiving," Quark said, as he hands Usagi a data pad (called a PADD). "You should have everything in order."
"Oh, great!" Usagi said, as she takes the PADD. "I've been expecting this."
"Really, counselor, if you did not have 'diplomatic immunity', I would have you cited for contrabrand," Sisko said.
"Pardon, sir?"
"Your monthly case of Romulan Ale?"
"Oh, that. Actually, when I came back from vacation, I brought back a few cases with me."
"We didn't see you with any case when you showed up at Quark's place," Kira said with a frown.
"The Pocket Space Technique," Sisko said.
"Pardon?"
"It's a learned discipline that only the most dedicated of Starfleet officers have been able to master," Sisko said. "Usually, if you enroll in the Advanced Tactical Training Program through Starfleet Academy, you have an opportunity to learn how to create sub-dimensional fields, among other disciplines. I never had the opportunity to learn, unfortunately."
"Well, I can always teach you, sir," Usagi said. "Just let me know."
"I'll keep that in mind. But what is this special shipment?"
"Well, considering that this show we're putting together is last minute, I had Quark use his shipping channels to rush my costumes and props to DS9."
"With a fee, of course," Quark said, after Usagi pressed her thumb print unto the PADD, in order to verify that the shipment was confirmed. "Nice doing business with you, counselor."
"You're welcome. Now, sir, can I-?"
"Yes," Sisko said. "We can convene later, after the modifications to the program schedule has been approved."
"Cool. See you in a bit…"
And, with that, Usagi leaves the staging area.
"You know, I hate to say this, but I'll miss working with her," Kira said, as she sees Usagi leave. She then turned towards Sisko.
"But don't tell HER that."
"I'll keep that in mind."
Unfortunately, instead of meeting the customs agent to declare her things, Usagi met members of the Alliance for Global Unity, otherwise known as "The Circle"…
"Um, huh," said Usagi, as she found herself surrounded by masked men and women in one of the cargo bays. "Wait, I know. This is an intervention on my drinking, yes?"
"No, alien 'whore'," said a female member. "We are the Circle, and we deem you as an affront to our efforts to make Bajor completely, we will end your Federation's presence in this sector…"
Pause.
"And we will start the process by removing you from this mortal coil and your influence."
"So, let me get this straight," Usagi said. "You are calling ME a whore, and you want to get rid of me because of what I represent."
"Yes, that's IT. And, we do not like you having undue influence over our greatest hero: Li Nalas. No doubt that you plan on seducing him as an attempt to undermine Bajoran unity."
"Not that it is any of your business, but Li Nalas and I are just friends…"
Pause.
"But, maybe I should ask him for a nightcap one of these days," Usagi said, as she looked up thoughtfully. "There's this new little number I wanted to try on for Ranma…or for Dax, but I'm sure 'Nalas-kun' might be interested-"
"Enough of this!" said a male. "No more talk. Today, you die-"
"Eighteen," Usagi said.
"We will rid the stain of your influence on our people once and for all-"
"Seventy-two," Usagi said.
"Um, your remains will serve as a reminder for all others, as a warning to stay away from our world-"
"Twenty-nine," Usagi said.
"What the hell are you talking about?" said the masked male.
"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that, well, I adopted this game from a tyrant named Frieza. Well, it's more like his DNA fusing with my own DNA, among others, that's bringing up his memories into my conscious. I think that's why I'm a bit of a nut sometimes…"
Pause.
"Anyway, I've been around for so long, that I keep track of the number of catchphrases that are uttered my way. For example, I have been called a 'whore' three-hundred-and-ninety-seventh times in the past, with this latest time being the three-hundred-and-ninety-eighth. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that such a count is THAT low…"
Pause.
"At any rate, I really wish you people would come up with something original," Usagi said, as she then turned towards the mysterious "fourth wall" with a wink and a nod. "Then again, I do expect such unoriginality coming from the vaunted 'Circle', or 'Oval' or whatever."
"Well, um, screw you!"
"And twelve…hundred."
"That's it," said the man, as he pulls out disruptors. Others joined in, as they pulled out their own disruptors.
"Oooh, nice," Usagi said. "You're using a 'Varon-T Disruptor' pistol. I guess someone found the missing fifth disruptor, and managed to mass-produce it."
"So, you know of it."
"I do. I heard about the incident involving the Enterprise-D dealing with a scam artist known as the Collector from my husband…"
Pause.
"That type of disruptor is banned because it literally tears the victim from the inside out," Usagi said. "Nasty piece of work, that weapon is."
"We have no choice," said the woman. "We know of your great physical prowess, so we're not going to take any chances."
"Besides, there are six of us against you," said the male. "There is no way that you can get out of THIS predicament."
"Huh. I knew that the Cardassian Occupation undermined the Bajoran education system, but, well…"
"What are you talking about?" replied the male.
"It's just that you must be awful at counting numerals, because I only see five of you against one of me."
"Wha-?"
Suddenly, Usagi appeared behind the man, as delivers a classic Vulcan Nerve Pinch, which rendered the would-be assailant unconscious.
"Urk!" the man said, as he fell onto the deck.
The members of the Circle were shocked to this, as Usagi stepped back.
"Well, shoot or run. I got a busy schedule to keep, you know…"
Tbc.
Additional Note: Short one this time, due to lack of Internet service this week. Hopefully, I'll get back up to my usual, slow self via uploads (LOL). Also, Usagi's dialogue towards the end of this chapter, the one with her assailants, was inspired by Team Four Star's version of the DBZ villain Freiza. Check them out…