6: Reprise
Everything cools off pretty quickly. The next Tuesday, he's eating lunch with Rachel (and managing to hold her hand under the table without flinching, although he hopes she doesn't notice how sweaty his palms are) when Kurt and Sam approach.
"Hey," says Sam. "Mind if we sit here?"
Finn can only gape up at him.
Rachel says "Sure," before Finn can intervene.
Not that he really could, even if he had time, because he really doesn't have any excuse and he's been enough of a dick so far.
Sam and Kurt sit down and Finn can't help but pull his hand from Rachel's. She looks a little unsettled, but then settles for narrowing her eyes suspiciously at Kurt. Finn knows she still doesn't trust him, and generally they do not get on. He's complained about that many times in the past, and vaguely remembers an epic plan to lock them in a room a la any cheesy sitcom to rassle it out and work out their differences, find a new understanding of one another, insert inspirational music here.
I just say, thank god me and him are the gay couple, because otherwise I would be quite worried about the effect locking him in a room with a girl he's always fighting with would have.
With a sudden lurch of his stomach, Finn remembers it was Sam he plotted that epic plan with.
He is so screwed.
"So," says Sam, absentmindedly picking a piece of lettuce off Kurt's plate, "what wonder of the lovebirds did we interrupt?"
You could do better.
Even if he wasn't a psycho rapist he'd be a two-faced bastard.
"Oh. Nothing much," says Rachel. "Just making small talk. Aka he knows about nothing I bring up, so the conversation kind of withers and dies."
"To be fair, I know nothing you bring up," says Sam. "I don't really know half of what Kurt talks about either. Think we should switch boyfriends?"
Finn quickly starts choking on his bite of apple and his own tongue. It's quiet enough, and over quick enough that no-one really notices, but still, ow. Kurt distracts them all by blurting out:
"Don't you dare."
Rachel narrows her eyes further. Sam just chuckles. "Is that a compliment to me or an insult to her?"
"Can it be both?" says Kurt. "I love you, you know that, and that's the major thing. But I refuse to be seen with anyone possessing her dress sense."
Rachel's got that squinty look in her eyes that means she's about to go on one of her trademark Rachel Berry is Offended rants, when Sam steps in.
"Well, so much for me overcoming that lagging insecurity when it comes to the importance of my sense of dress," he says. "And seriously, can you at least try to avoid insulting her? She's like, three feet away, for God's sakes. And there must be better things to insult her for anyway; she actually looks quite cute, the way she dresses."
Finn protectively grabs Rachel's hand under the table again. She's confused, but returns the grasp.
Kurt's suitably chastened. "Sorry. Sorry, Rachel."
"It's okay," she says.
"Good. You two play nice now," Sam says. Kurt rolls his eyes.
"Yes, daddy."
Sam laughs. "Okay. Now don't make me spank you."
Finn does his best not to choke and/or gag again. He barely manages it, and squeezes Rachel's hand a lot tighter. "You know," he eventually forces out, "I'm so telling your actual dad about this conversation."
Rachel and Sam laugh, while Kurt turns bright red. "Don't you dare," he warns.
The conversation continues a bit, but Rachel winces, and leans over to whisper something in Finn's ear.
"Finn, you're cutting off my circulation."
He lets go.
"So," says Sam. "Nay to the boyfriend swap idea, then?"
"Nay," says Rachel. "I like being alive."
"I'm so going to act like a jealous freak from this point on," grumbles Kurt, and Sam smirks.
"Freak in what sense of the word?"
Kurt slaps him on the arm, but they're smiling, and then Sam is pulling him in to kiss him – oh God – Finn wants to stop it; wants to punch Sam in the face, and tell him to go away and never come back; he wants to make things better, but he can't do anything but watch as his Kurt comes closer and closer to colliding with this bastard; that smirk still playing at the corner of Sam's mouth and all for Finn–
"I need to go," Finn blurts out.
Kurt and Sam pull away from each other. "What?"
Rachel just looks confused.
"Finn?"
"I need..." he stands up, trying to regain his breath. "I need to go."
He does so.
"Hey!"
It's the end of lunch, and he turns to see Rachel running to catch up with him. He inwardly groans, and hopes she won't ask questions.
No such luck. "Are you okay?" she asks. "That was a pretty hasty, dramatic exit you made earlier. Made me thing something was wrong?"
Finn frowns in confusion. "Hasty means 'fast', right?"
She nods. "Yeah," she says. "Anyway..."
Finn's left without an excuse. "I, uh..."
Think, man, think!
"...had a... thing."
"A thing."
"A thing."
"What kind of a thing?" Rachel asks.
"A thing thing!" he yells. "You know, maybe you shouldn't ask so many questions, and this relationship might work for once!"
Shit.
He didn't mean to say that.
He did not mean to say that.
Her eyes are wide and offended, but hurt, glistening with tears and she's about to–
"You don't think this relationship works?" she asks. "I always kind of thought it did. Since the end of last year, anyway."
"Rachel, I didn't–"
"But, I guess, if you don't think so," she pauses and inhales, "there's no point to sailing a sunken ship, is there?"
"I – is that some crazy showchoir expression? – anyway, I didn't mean to say that, Rach. I just... I'm under a load of crap right now, but I didn't mean to say that. Of course this relationship works, and I–
I can't lose you too, he thinks.
Rachel sniffs. "I don't believe you," she says.
Then she runs off, leaving Finn feeling like the biggest piece of shit who ever lived.
"Rachel!"
When Kurt gets home, Finn closes his eyes and does his best not to think he's there. He so isn't ready to deal with Kurt right now. This is part his fault anyway.
(No, that's not fair, but Finn's got to have earned a little irrationality by now, right?)
"Hey. Finn?"
"Hey," Finn grumbles in response, opening his eyes. Kurt frowns and comes to sit by him on the couch.
"You okay?"
"Fine. Now leave me alone," says Finn. He so doesn't want to have this talk.
Kurt raises an eyebrow. "I don't believe you."
Finn flinches.
"What's going on, Finn?"
Finn sighs. He can't even begin to get into the full story, so he says what he can and hopes it will get Kurt off his back. "I think Rachel and I broke up."
"What?" asks Kurt. "Why?"
"I said something dumb... and mean. And now she's like, so pissed at me."
"Oh," says Kurt. "Pity. I thought you two were happy together."
Finn shrugs.
So did she, apparently.
"So... you wouldn't be okay with my boyfriend hanging around a bit more than often for the next few days, would you? It's just, his parents are out of town so..."
Kurt's got that hopeful look on his face; the one that tells Finn he's relying on the idea that Finn will feel too guilty about interfering with someone else's relationship due to his own issues that he'll say he's fine with it. And that... fills Finn was a sort of inexplicable rage.
"Actually, how about no?" he snaps. "Actually, how about we just stop having your fucking boyfriend here so much, huh? He practically fucking lives here! Have you ever thought that maybe we don't all want him around; that maybe, it's a little uncomfortable to always have to see you two about five seconds from tearing each others clothes off?"
"Finn–"
"I mean, I know this might be hard for your hairspray-addled brain to contemplate, but the world does not revolve around you. This house does not revolve around you. We all live here, so I don't see why you're the one who can't keep it together long enough to–"
"HEY," there's a loud below, and Finn sees Burt walking in. Shit. "What in the hell is going on here?"
"I – I," Finn stutters.
"Don't worry about it, dad," says Kurt. "I was being really insensitive, and Finn just kind of snapped."
Burt looks disbelieving.
"Rachel and Finn just broke up. I was asking to have my boyfriend over. Again," Kurt punctuates that last bit with a quirk of the corner of him mouth, and Burt exhales deeply.
"Fine," he says. "But I'm watching you, kid," and he pokes Finn in the chest for emphasis. Then he's gone and Finn and Kurt are just left staring at each other.
"Dude–"
"Don't ," says Kurt. He gives Finn one last, withering glare, and then he goes.
Finn groans. He's totally pissed off and fucked over his girlfriend and his sort-of stepbrother, two of the people he cares the most about.
Again.