Serpentine Embrace

by MountainWind

They're both crazy, there's no doubt about that. But could the craziest thing either has done is try to be loved? AnkoxNaruto.

7. Everyone's Crazy Y'know?

A/N: Yeah...this chapter got so ridiculously long it wasn't even funny. Oh well not like it matters. I also did a few things here that some people will complain about. But meh. If half of ya ain't complaining I'm not writing well. Also starting now I'll reply to a few more reviews that I feel need to be addressed. I'll keep from arguing, ain't no point.

Knightewolfe: He didn't steal Ino's Panties. Ino doesn't wear panties. She just wraps her legs.

Karibanu: Anko isn't fatally attracted to Naruto, the seal is increasing and warping her desires the reason she is so slutty is because she's still in control of her actions enough to focus them elsewhere. It will calm down in a little bit The title 'Serpentine Embrace' refers to how both Naruto and Anko are kinda under Orochimaru's thumb in this.

Kami Yurushimi: Been doing Warhammer. A small games takes an hour.

Brother Bludgeon: Don't worry. If ya notice Naruto doesn't actually show much sexual attraction for Naruto, more possessiveness. I'll try and keep this from getting too bad.

Zaradan: The fact I kicked the Emo out of you makes me happy.

King Hawke: Not really, sorry. And Jin isn't spreading rumors, he's explaining things as he sees them. Also 'to be a real Sasuke?' Really? I'd rather have a fake Sasuke, with some actual character thrown in (Fetish, What's a Fetish, and Never Cut Twice anyone?), than one of your 'real' Sasuke's any day.

King of the DamnD: Yeah...No.

Starfire99: Fuck you. I'm busy and this is free, don't complain.

Juopunumies: Your name confuses me when I try to pronounce it...BUT ANYWAY. I'm sorry I mean to indicate Iruka wouldn't have to teach cadets for some three years.

Kael Hyun: No harem, sorry. And yeah...he would have to. If ya haven't noticed, Naruto takes orders, especially from the Third, seriously.

Doom Marine 54: No. It isn't. If you're being a smart ass: Shut up. If you're actually asking: I did hate that I used that a lot. my bad.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Nor do I claim any connection with random OCs being similiar to awesome manga that should be made in equally awesome OVAs.

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Chapter 7

The next day was hell in the morning. Both guardian and ward were trying their best to keep the other from realizing what they had done into the wee hours of the morning. Anko had pleasured herself for until her fingers were numb in an attempt to get rid of the agonizingly persistent hornyness in her loins. She didn't even accurately recall how many times she came, only to feel the urges rise again soon after the release. Enraged at her seemingly inability to simply fuck herself silly, she eventually drank herself into a stupor before taking a very short and ineffective shower which ended in her flopping into bed.

Exactly as her alarm went off.

Naruto's night had been infinitely worse. After realizing his screams, which he muffled unconsciously, weren't going to reach Anko he had tried to retreat into a part of his mind the Kyuubi could not reach. It succeeded until she came looking for him. When she found her 'soul mate' she proceeded to mentally molest him panting and huffing her hot breath into his ear or his mouth as she tried to kiss him. Eventually Naruto woke up from the self imposed nightmare only for Kyuubi to begin laughing and serenading him.

When Naruto demanded to be allowed to sleep the Kyuubi relented, if Naruto did one or two choice lewd acts upon her. Unable to keep his fragile control in check Naruto did as asked.

To his horror and shame Kyuubi had demanded Naruto to kiss and orally pleasure her. The degrading act had at first given Naruto a feeling of being incredibly dirty, but as he heard the whimpers and moans of enjoyment from the fox demon it changed slightly into something he would rather not admit he felt. The Kyuubi, who grew ecstatic at the intimate contact, released Naruto from her terrible mental hold and then sang a genuine lullaby. Naruto only wished the sounds of her song weren't still echoing around in his head.

Naruto with bags under his eyes, but fading gently, and a deep frown on his face looked at the plate of food Anko had made for him. His eyes occasionally wandered to the lack of clothing his guardian had chosen for the morning. Usually Anko would wear at least an actual shirt and some shorts, now she had resigned to panties and one of her infamous net body stockings. The only thing preventing Naruto from seeing Anko's large mounds in their full splendor was her apron.

"It must have been a very lonely man that thought those things up. Or a guy who's wife had saggy boobs…" Naruto mused as Anko slid a second stack of French toast before him.

"Eh?" she asked eyeing the first, and untouched, pile. "Eat gaki," she snapped.

"Orders…" he replied shoving the plate away.

The spatula Anko was holding hit him square in the nose. Naruto didn't blink, even as sugar and cinnamon coated his face. "Believe me. You don't know Kakashi half as well as I wish I didn't," she explained as she pushed the meal back to him. Naruto looked at it. Then Anko's face which showed the barest hint of concern. Not wanting to worry her Naruto began to eat.

Purring happily Anko kissed his cheek and started on her own meal.

"One day she'll convince me to do something I'll regret…" Naruto thought absent mindedly.

Eating in silence both guardian and ward seemed to be testing the waters. Anko, who had been given a reprieve from her rampant desire by the intense amount of alcohol she had drunk thought about seeing the Third. The seal had been more active in the past few days, and it was a worrisome sign.

But as Anko watched Naruto eat the thoughts in her mind swirled more towards spending time with him, maybe taking the day off and waiting for him to get back from Kakashi's hootenanny. They could watch a movie and make a big supper.

And then you can fuck him.

Anko grew very still after a sudden start. Naruto had picked up the paper and was reading it so he didn't notice.

Her large brown eyes slowly moved to her left, followed by the agonizingly slow turn of her head. Sitting there, taking up Ibiki's normal seat, was a smirking doppelganger of herself. It held its chin in its hand and was eyeing her with a pair of almost black eyes. It had a set of orbs that were muddy and deep instead of her normal chocolate brown. Anko almost lost herself in the recesses of those terribly dark eyes.

The phantasm grinned wider, its cheeks appearing to be cut by an invisible knife.

Come on. It urged her, stroking one arm with hands that felt like velvet He won't say no. You know that. Anko snatched her arm away. She saw a set of certain black markings had been left where the thing touched her.

Anko absentmindedly scratched her curse seal furiously. It was throbbing. Like it had a heartbeat. When she did the apparition sighed.

Thanks. I get itchy real easy these days.

Shaking slightly Anko motioned for Naruto with her other hand, "N-Naruto…" Anko called.

The blonde looked over the paper, "Yeah?"

"What time did Kakashi ask for you to meet him?" she asked. The doppelganger stood and sauntered over to Naruto. Wiggling her wide hips she leaned over him and rested her forearms on his shoulders. The thing put her face in his hair and inhaled deeply before flowering his brow with kisses.

Tastes like fresh black soil. Rich and heady… Anko gulped as she watched it slither and arm down his shirt.

"Oh, he said around six." He checked the kitchen clock, "It's almost nine now. I'll head out in a few minutes. I'm not really expecting him until after eleven or twelve," the container explained, with no way of knowing he was being raped before her eyes.

The image of Anko's twisted desire grabbed Naruto and pulled him into her embrace, forcing her long tongue down his throat. Anko rubbed her eyes and noticed there was now a Naruto with her vision as well as the one now looking worriedly at her. She rubbed her eyes.

"Hey…Anko-chan. Your eyes are really red. How much did you drink last night?"

"Too much," Anko sighed pinching the bridge of her nose. "Are you done? I'll take care of the dishes."

He nodded and helped her stack them. Anko continued to hear the catcalls and moans of the other her, even the squeak of a chair when the illusion started to fuck her own copy of Naruto. Anko didn't look, didn't try. Her eyes were wide and she was on the verge of tears.

You want him so bad…god it's like it's written on your face! 'I wanna bang a thirteen year old boy!'

Naruto had gone to his room to get his gear and trench coat. As he now walked past the kitchen Anko spun away from the sink to him and hugged him tightly. At first surprised Naruto sensed a portion of what was wrong with her, and gently hugged her back.

Her voice cracked a bit, "You'll do great. You're going to pass and show this stupid village what you're made of. Good luck Uzumaki Naruto," she said as she stroked the hairs on the back of his neck. Naruto laughed a little at how ticklish it was, and did the same. Anko stood, kissed him on the cheek and sent him on his way.

Naruto wiped his cheek, in a child like way but not before saying, "My name is Uzumaki-Mitarashi Naruto, Anko-chan."

She laughed and watched as he left, standing at her door, panties and net shirt all that protected her against the wetness of the fog. Anko waved at his back, until he could not longer be seen through the mist. Finally she turned around and closed the door.

Shoulda slipped him the tongue.

Anko gasped as the sweaty face of her clone was now inches from her own. The smell of sex was strong around the frowning and haughty bitch. A bite mark, just big enough to come from a boy, surrounded her left nipple.

The real Anko slowly tumbled to the floor and grabbed her head. Her eyes darted about in their sockets as she tried to look anywhere but the woman before her. "No. No I…I can't think that anymore!" she whispered to no one. Naruto's scent, like the forest after a heavy rain, filled her nostrils. The seal throbbed painfully its heartbeat matching her own and pumping white hard pain into her neck and temples. The pain bit deep, it stung and hurt so bad and at the same time wonderfully. Anko shoved her fist in her mouth, bit down, and screamed.

You've already broken once Anko-chan. A knowing cold voice told her, And once something breaks it only gets easier to break it again.

The standing Anko chuckled. She smirked before she began to laugh maniacally.

xxXxx

The training grounds that Kakashi had ordered them to were dark, muggy, and covered with fog. Sasuke and Sakura, who had both arrived on time and without a scrap of a meal, stood staring at the road which led to where they were currently standing. Sasuke had come early, despite Naruto's warning of Kakashi's tardiness because he wanted to gauge a few things about their team. Also so he could set a few traps with the help of his clan's ninja cat servants.

Sakura had come early because her mother was on a warpath after seeing her final graduation score. It didn't matter she had been among the top twenty percent of the girls in her class overall. It didn't matter it was only her physical aspects, which were already low to begin with, had been dragged down by the 'diet' she was on. It didn't matter that the Haruno household had been the staging ground for three parties that went well into the night for last three days before the test interrupting Sakura's sleep.

Nothing mattered other than her mother's damnable expectations.

For a brief second Haruno Sakura had a look cross over her face, at the exact moment Sasuke was inspecting a rare bird, which held all the hatred festering for her mother's unflinching and overbearing need for her daughter to be perfect like her. Within that brief second, buried deep, deep inside Sakura's mind, a small voice said softly: The only thing stopping you from killing her is the word 'mother.' The venomous phrase shocked Sakura out of her reverie.

The pink haired Haruno shuddered and rubbed her arms. Sasuke wondered what she was thinking about, it was too humid for her to be cold. She was staring at the ground, her pink hair a dark fuchsia now that it was damp from the mist. Sasuke, who was never one to really care about people before his brother's attack, and who cared even less afterwards eyed his new teammate with the barest hint of concern.

Sasuke had always thought of Sakura, along with any other girl who could say his name at the pitch of a dog whistle, as a worthless annoyance, but looking at her now he noticed a far away contemplative look to her. It was no secret Sakura was intelligent and capable. Her ability to see through illusions on her chakra sense alone was amazing. The control over her chakra systems was, as some of the older ninja had proclaimed, perfect. It was her naiveté and the odd habits she had developed over the last several years that kept her from excelling. Those damn diets of hers for one.

"Sakura can't weigh more than a hundred pounds soaking wet. What kind of person would think she needs to lose weight?" Unable to derail his train of inspection Sasuke's head ticked slightly to the left as he caught wind of something rare he hadn't seen before…"She just looks so alone…"

He shook the thoughts roughly from his mind. No reason to think that with Sakura. She and Ino may feud, constantly, but the blonde did care for her pink haired friend. Despite whatever problems Sakura had, she didn't have either the problems of Sasuke and Naruto that kept the two from properly mingling with their peers.

Of course, if Sasuke had thought beyond his own pain, the events Team 7 would come to find themselves in, in the future would turn out drastically different.

Time passed slowly for them, Sasuke's mind wandering in thought between the blonde teammate and the pink haired one. Sakura's mind begging her stomach to shut up for once.

"Hey Sakura," he asked after about an hour.

She turned to him, her large sea green eyes seeming to envelop him.

Sasuke repressed a shudder, "She says Naruto's grin is creepy. She should look into a mirror once or twice. That stare of hers is on par with Dobe's dental work any day," he thought, "What do you think of our team?" he managed after he had pulled his eyes away from Sakura's own encapsulating orbs.

The girl sighed heavily. "Well I'm glad I'm with you Sasuke-kun…but Naruto makes me…"

"Here goes…" Sasuke quipped under his breath. It was well known neither Ino nor Sakura had much nice to say about Naruto, if anything at all. What was worse is their frequent reminders to everyone of just how much they didn't have to say there were, for lack of a better word, ridiculously long.

"Nervous…I…I don't know what it is. Ever since we were little, there's been this feeling about him that scares me," she explained.

"That's new." He turned to face her fully, "And what's so scary about Naruto of all people?"

Sakura rubbed her arms again another shudder running through her body. "I say I hate his smile…but that's not exactly true. I…I have a bad memory when I was younger."

Seeing her trepidation Sasuke offered, "If you don't want to share it…"

She shook her head, "Maybe I should. I never really was able to tell Ino. I think she likes Naruto. I trust you Sasuke-kun; you may be able to help get my thoughts straight." She took a deep breath and steeled herself. "Naruto had this doll when he was younger. He really loved it. It was a stuffed orange fox with nine tails and these really cute button eyes." She spun an index finger in a circle, "They had a special gloss on them so they almost looked alive."

Sasuke, vaguely, remembered such a thing.

Sasuke. Ask that boy what flavor ice cream he would like. The one with the doll on the swing.

Why aniki?

It's polite to share when you have more than enough. Remember that Sasuke. Besides he seems like he could use a cold scoop to cheer him up.

"One day after Mitarashi adopted him he was running around the playground with it and got to playing with Shikamaru and Chouji; he put it down on a bench and forgot about it. Mitarashi came and got him and they left. Well…" Sakura's face turned red, "A few of the others saw it and decided to…decided to," she took another deep breath. "They tore it up and threw the pieces all over."

Sasuke silently watched as Sakura sank onto her gear bag and put her chin in her cupped hands. "Did you help them?" he asked his thin eye brow arched.

Sakura shook her head, "No. Ino once broke a doll of mine when we were really little and I remembered how bad it felt. So I actually tried to put it back together. I was seven Sasuke, trying to put a stuffed animal back together like a puzzle."

He watched her laugh humorlessly.

"But he came running back shouting 'Ko-chan!' 'Ko-chan!' Only to find me, pushing it into a ball of fabric. I was startled and ran off; I dropped a piece of fuzz or two. I didn't see him at the playground for a few days. I wanted to apologize and give back the pieces of the doll so he could get it fixed, I even put them in a little box I had from one of my own toys. But he never went to the park again I think. Then, one day when I was walking home I saw him." She became very silent. A deep, violent and unconscious shudder ran from the top of her head to her toes. "He was standing in the middle of the street just looking at me. He pointed at me and smiled so wide I thought the top of his head would just flop off. He said to me 'You don't have to apologize I have Anko-chan to protect me now. Ko-chan needed a break anyway. Heh. Get it?'" Sakura had mimicked Naruto's supposedly manic grin to a T as well as pointing forward.

Sasuke found it very disturbing.

Returning to her somber manner Sakura looked at her own hand as if just realizing she had it, "There was something in the way Naruto looked at me. Something angry. Violent. And hungry." She said the last word with an emotion that had Sasuke on his heels. His left eye narrowed in scrutiny while his right eyebrow arched upwards.

Sakura turned her overly large eyes back to Sasuke, "I can't describe it. It was like looking at something dangerous for the first time. Like when you see a tiger and think 'kitty' only to grow up and suddenly realize the 'kitty' has claws longer than your finger and jaws that can crush your bones."

She looked at the ground again, "That's why I don't like Naruto. Because he is something dangerous that could eat you up, and he tries to act like a fool. But if you push him just a bit," she emphasized this by poking the air with a finger, "You can see it in his face. Hear it in his voice. He'll bite and scratch and claw at you until he gets you to stop. And then he'll be the little hyperactive idiot again. I wondered once, a long time ago, what caused that. But I realized soon after I started thinking about it that it was probably better not to know."

Sasuke kept quiet as Sakura mumbled into silence. While he did not want to admit it he was curious as to how exactly Sakura knew all that. The incident she described was one thing, but to get such a glimpse into someone took time and observation. Naruto never did anything remotely like what she had suggested. Absently Sasuke thought to the times when Sakura would avoid Naruto for days when the loud boy would shelf his perverted games to become a bit more…predatory. These were when Sasuke found his position as top rookie threatened the most. Sakura was correct. There was something dangerous about Naruto, and if there wasn't he at least had a big secret.

And along that line of thought, eyeing Sakura the young Uchiha could not help but feel the same way about her.

xxXxx

Konoha before dawn was slightly macabre. It was dark, misty, and seemed to exude the aura of a proper ninja stronghold. Naruto made note of this drastic change as he made his way toward the training grounds. It egged and nagged at him how what was supposed to be such a comfortable and home like place could transition so violently from your average village to the core of a powerful network of assassins and warriors.

"Hey Naruto-kun!" a cool feminine voice called.

Looking up the blonde noticed a lanky and heavily tattooed young woman walking up to him. He had her septum pierced and a grand design of a falcon covering most of her bald head. Her style of dress was almost exactly like Anko's, but because of her cut boyish frame there was no doubt that very few people, even in this prudish village, that would care. She wore a revealing net top over a black and white stripped bikini top that was more to cover her nipples and their studs than actually hold any breast meat in. Her ninja pants had been ripped or torn just under the middle of the thigh letting her long calves free. While she had a pair of sandals hanging from a strap on her belt she was running barefoot, her toenails painted with bright mismatched colors, the same as her sharp claw like fingernails.

Her long arms and legs were decorated with sweeping animal and weaponry shapes drawn tribal. Her facial piercings, including the septum a set of snake bites, a micro-dermal and several eyebrow bolts, only became more pronounced as she ran up to him. Her low slung pants, which showed off her lower hips and pelvis scantily, had the Uzumaki flaming swirl with the symbols for Naruto's name emblazoned in a reverse tramp stamp. Bright blue happy eyes squinted in joy as she swept him into a hug.

"How's Komugi-neechan's favorite artist?" she asked spinning him.

Naruto made a small sound as his spine cracked by the powerful embrace.

Hanafuko Komugi was one of the many varied members of the torture and interrogation division. Each member specially chosen by Ibiki to perform on individuals with similar psychological profiles. Komugi, who had been a tomboy all her life and had gotten a breast reduction early in her tenure as a kunoichi was chosen to interrogate rabid feminists. After taking a liking to torture instead of merely asking question she altered her appearance to become more threatening. Komugi devoted the next five years of her life to intense physical training from Maito Gai which left the already powerful kunoichi with a powerful and deceptively skinny body. The snake bites and other piercings only enhanced her somewhat predatory visage. Never mind the near sixty-five tribal tattoos she had covering her exposed upper body and arms.

All of which were designed by her current prey.

She kissed his cheeks furiously before putting him down, "Out early aintcha?" she asked, clicking the ring going through the, oddly enough, pointed tip of her tongue against her teeth.

"Yeah I'm a ninja now," he said tapping his headband.

Komugi's eyes grew abnormally wide as she crouched down and grabbed Naruto's face to steady the object of inspection. With a loud squeal she hugged him again. Naruto whimpered as she forgot just how strong she was.

"My little brother is gonna be a great ninja! He'll capture all sorts of evil bitches for me to torture!" she said kissing Naruto's face again.

"Okay! Okay let me down before you break me in half!" Naruto cried through the affectionate assault.

Laughing Komugi did as she was told and clapped Naruto hard on the back sending him to his knees. "I hope you join our division Naruto-kun it'll be great with you there. Hifumi and Moto-chan will be so happy!"

Naruto's face became a visage of terror as Komugi mentioned those names. "Please…don't talk about those two…they scare the shit outta me," he sighed.

The lanky woman chuckled and ruffled his hair, "Don't say that, you'll make Moto-chan cry. But hey I need a new design!" she chirped.

Naruto eyeballed her, "I just drew you four! And I see two of them! It's bad enough you made me draw that embarrassing signature! You should have told me you're 'advertising' was gonna be your damn ten-year-old boy midriff."

"Awww! Naruto-kun! Don't make fun of my body! I worked hard to be strong!" she pouted, whilst also flexing her arm displaying the hidden muscle, "And I just need one more! Please! Pretty please! With bamboo shoots and finger clamps on top!"

The large corn-flower blue eyes watered.

"If she didn't look like the butch in lesbian porn she'd be a lot cuter…" Naruto mused. "Fine where's it gonna be?"

Chirping like a lark she answered hopped up and down clapping her hands, "My pussy!"

Naruto nodded as he drew out a notebook, "Okay so what kinda-" Stopping in mid sentence he looked at her. "On your what?"

She blushed deeply and began to wiggle her body back and forth like a school girl. "I have a date in a few weeks, he's on a mission, and he said his favorite animal was a fox so I thought I'd surprise him!" she said.

"You…have…you been asking Anko for dating advice again?" he deadpanned.

Her long tongue lolled out of her mouth and she flicked the ring and its matching stud in a rhythm. "Nope! I asked Morino-dono and he said I should show him my affection the best way I know how!"

Sighing deeply Naruto slouched forward, "I don't think Scarface meant get a new tattoo and then have sex with the guy…"

Komugi, who still had her tongue out, regarded the young blonde. She crouched down once more, and curved her body so she could look up into his eyes. "Well…" her voice losing its innocent charm, "Maybe I should take a page outta Anko's book and go for a younger man, eh Naruto-kun?"

The good natured exasperation in Naruto's face was replaced by raw fury. He glared at her. He bared his teeth, which grew even sharper. He flexed his fingers, each one growing a sharp deadly little sickle for a nail. Blue eyes shifted visibly into indigo like ink poured into water. Naruto's hand shot out and snagged her neck. Sweat formed at her temple as the Chunin realized she could not have dodged that. As he squeezed her windpipe, making it hard for her to breathe, Komugi shook visibly.

There is but one more thing to mention about Hanafuko Komugi: she has a deep rooted and unexplainable fantasy of being dominated sexually. Usually violently as well due to an equally deep rooted masochistic streak.

"JUST KIDDING!" she cried, striking his nose with her middle finger. He slowly let go, his eyes still piercing into her own. "You know I don't think of Anko-momma or you like that right?" she asked as she straightened to her full height. Naruto didn't release her from his glare. "Don't tease me like that Naruto-kun." She cracked her neck and shoulders, stretching her meager bust. "I just may take you to a private dungeon for the two of us. If I did make you that mad I'm sorry." Her voice came out low in a purr, "You can take out all your anger on me if you want but…don't scratch too deep you'll ruin my ink work."

Naruto frowned deeply, the features of his anger wafting away like smoke. His nails became short and round, his whiskers grew faint, and his eyes became the deep ocean cerulean once more. Turning on his heel he stalked off, towards the training grounds.

"Hey Naru-kun!" she called waving to his back, "I'll be at Moshi's Tattoo parlor later tonight! You better be there with that design!" Watching him go her smile faded and she held her chin in one arm, which was then supported by her free hand. Shifting her weight fully onto her left leg she studied the exchange fully in her mind.

"Note to self," she said softly, "Subject Fox's agitation at mentioning of pedophilic tendencies in subject Snake has increased marginally. Physical reaction consistent with Subject Fox's unique condition denotes this increased agitation may lead to further communion with condition's root cause. Recommend evaluation into Subject Fox's impulse control to locate previously proposed dangers of jinchuuriki emotional breakdown and mental degradation.

"Further note: Subject Snake's scent was strongly on and around Subject Fox's head and neck. Scent includes denoted human female pheromone for sexual arousal. Subject Snake's potential as pedophile increased to 34% with a 4% margin of error, up from 28% with 7% margin for error. However, as previous pedophilic tendencies are not recorded refer to Subject Snake's file, information pertaining to 'Curse Seal' and 'Orochimaru,' recommended. Further observation of Subject Snake will commence as soon as possible. Direct current notes to Section chief and project overseer Morino Ibiki as soon as possible. Note complete."

As if someone hit a button inside her head Komugi started, whirled on her toes, began to sing an upbeat hip-hop tune that was popular on the radio, and bounced onward in the opposite direction.

xxXxx

The meeting with Komugi left Naruto with a bad taste in his mouth. It didn't help he had a wayward attraction to the woman. Komugi was only four years older than Naruto and reminded him constantly that when he became a ninja he was counted as an adult of the village. This usually sparked an argument with Anko. And everyone said the elder Mitarashi had a thing for kids. The women of the Torture and Interrogation department should take a good long look at their definition of 'adult.'

The fact that Komugi was one of the few women who responded to Naruto's flirtations in kind did not help the situation much. Her favorite activity, after discovering that Naruto could draw very good tribal tattoos, was to bribe him with her body. At first she would strip for him but then she offered to let him touch. After that Ibiki stepped in and said enough was enough. He told Komugi that if she paid Naruto in anything other money for his drawings while he was underage she would find herself at Anko's mercy.

And he always made a point of reminding everyone what happened the night the guardian first met her ward.

While Naruto still believed Komugi was a closet lesbian (Look at her for Kami's sake, never mind what she did to poor Kurenai at the Christmas party last year…Naruto shuddered visibly), despite her perverse mocking, he had to admit there was something about the lean, mean, killing machine that sparked something inside him.

"Probably that damn fox smells her submissive side," he grunted to no one. Naruto put two fingers; still slightly claw like, to where Komugi had kissed him. The final smooch had almost hit his lips. The metal from her snake bites hit hard for some reason and the stinging pain always lingered a bit longer than normal.

Naruto was also still holding his notebook and pencil. He sighed deeply as he began to sketch out a fox shape. Unlike the rest of Komugi Naruto didn't know the physical layout of her crotch. So he made a few anatomical scratchings of what she may look like. Because Komugi hated her own body hair she waxed and shaved daily, so there wouldn't be any pubic hair to block the image or get in the way of its injection.

He decided that based on the area she wanted it he would go with a fox head and tail instead of a full bodied animal. The picture went through several revisions. It started as a grinning vixen with a bushy single tail. He then moved on to a Kitsune woman, much like the summons and Kyuubi herself, in a punk rocker outfit. Frowning he flipped to the next page and started on what he hoped would be the final design.

The picture took shape, but it had no definition. There was just a fox face and a long tail coming from behind it. He frowned deeper until his feet felt the transition from solid packed dirt to fresh grass and bare soil.

"Morning Naruto," he heard. His head popped up to see Sakura and Sasuke standing, and glaring at him.

Not wanting to deal with any bitching he grunted out, "I haven't even done anything yet."

"Kakashi is late," Sasuke said as he examined the now rising sun. "Very late."

Naruto went back to drawing, "I told you. He's always late. The Hokage can't even make him show up on time. He won't be here for another few hours," the blonde explained as he sat down and began to rummage in his coat's pockets. He drew forth a small book and opened it to a certain page before drawing.

Sakura blinked, "Wait. If you knew that then why are you here so early then?" she huffed, her hands on her hips.

Naruto frowned just long enough for Sasuke to catch it before he grinned sexily at Sakura. "How could I stay away from a beauty covered in dew?" he asked.

She huffed and raised her hands in a helpless gesture. She was still for a few minutes before she looked over at Naruto. He kept furiously erasing whatever he was drawing and flipping to a new page in the small notebook. Her overly large eyes also read the cover of the book now propped up by his knees. Wildlife of the Lands of Fire, Wind, and Water. Curious, because Sakura always wanted to be able to do anything artistic as well as Naruto being quiet, she slowly scooted over so she could look at what he was drawing.

"What…what is it gonna be?" she asked, tentatively, as if he was about to bite.

Grunting Naruto erased a set of eyes that reminded her of a cartoon, "Tattoo for a friend. She wants a new one…"

"Oh," Sakura replied. She didn't know Naruto drew tattoos. "Is it your first one?"

He looked at her with a deep, deep frown. "No," he snapped. "It'll be my seventieth for her."

Sakura blinked. "And she got all of them on her body?" Sakura asked.

Naruto nodded, "Yep. She even made me design a signature and got that on her stomach to advertise who drew her ink. She plans to get me my own equipment for my next few birthdays and cut the cost for them." He grinned evilly, "Little does she know I can find all the supplies wholesale and still make off with a good bit for even a small one!"

Despite the fact Naruto smiling made her want to retch Sakura asked, "Have you ever put one on someone before?"

He shook his head and hastily scribbled through a picture of an adorable kit. "The owner of the shop Anko and I went to said he'd let me when I had some practice done. I may try with some Kage Bunshin when I get the tools."

"Oh…" Sakura repeated.

Sasuke caught the 'and I went to.' His eyes narrowed and moved from Naruto's baggy cargo pants and leg wraps to his long overcoat.

"I guess she wants a fox?" Naruto nodded. "Where's she getting it done?" Sakura asked as she inspected her own thin calf.

Naruto stopped mid stroke and looked up at her. The only one with dark hair snorted as he noticed Naruto was giving Sakura a stare as wide and disconcerting as her own. Kami…if I tell her I'll be putting up with her shit all damn day. But if I lie…and she ever meets Komugi…damnable women Shikamaru is right. Girls are troublesome. Deciding to answer and not answer at the same time Naruto replied, "About that…You probably don't wanna know."

Frowning, "Why not? Tell me," she demanded.

Naruto shook his head furiously back and forth, "No. You'll call me a pervert and then hit me. I know it. I'm not in the mood for it either," he explained poking her nose with his eraser, leaving a smudge.

Wiping at the smudge Sakura returned her attention to him, "I promise not to hit you! Just tell me!" She had the same puppy dog look in her eyes as Komugi.

Dammit…she just has to be cute too. Naruto narrowed his eyes and gave Sakura the impression of an old guard dog, "Fine. She wants it. Well. At her…y'know…" he said staring downward. If Sakura had paid attention to where he was looking she would have realized it earlier.

"Stop mumbling Naruto where does she want it?" Sakura roared, furious with his stalling.

He rubbed the back of his head, "Her…her pussy…" Sakura slammed her hand down hard on Naruto's head. "OW! GODDAMIT I KNEW IT! You lie like a mattress!" he roared as he dropped his things and grabbed his wounded skull.

Sakura, crossing her arms over her chest, made a commanding look, "I didn't hit you because you're a pervert."

"THEN WHY DAMMIT!" the blonde bellowed as a bump began to form.

Sakura looked away, her face red, "Don't…don't use such dirty words…"

Naruto's face dropped. "Really? That's it? So I can say she wants a new tattoo on her vagina all I want but not on her puss-" Sakura hit him again causing the blonde to jump up with his fists clenched. His face retained its anger even as he grinned from ear to ear, showing off almost all of his sharp teeth. The shade in the tree was enough for Naruto's night vision to partially activate making his eyes glow. Reaching into the folds of his coat he drew rope, a ball gag, and what resembled a turkey baster from his pockets, "Okay Sakura-chan…"

"W-What are t-th-those for Naruto…" she asked cringing away from him. She noted with horror, that the baster was actually an enema.

"We're gonna bond…like good teammates should!"

Screeching Sakura dashed off with Naruto hot on her heels laughing maniacally. Every time he got close he jabbed her backside with the tube causing Sakura to yelp and dash forward. "YA! YA! GET ALONG!" he cried cracking the rope at her heels like a whip.

Sasuke, who was standing with a very bored look on his face, put a hand to his stomach. "I'm hungry…" he lamented. The declaration was followed by a soft grumble from his belly.

xxXxx

Anko drudged wearily into the streets of Konoha. Her little bout of 'self inspection' from the image of the seal had left her even more drained than she felt when she started making breakfast. Not even her favorite meal had been able to perk her up. With a heavy sigh she trudged along toward the secret teleport point for the Torture and Interrogation division's domestic headquarters.

Most people believed the TAI squadron members kept to the darker alleyways because they were all freaks.

Well…they are…

But in truth like Anko's attempted departure six years ago the best places to hide something is where people wouldn't normally look. A little known fact about the slums of Konoha was that the area where bums and poor travelers or refuges made their homes was actually owned entirely by the reigning Hokage as a secret base. Every building was fortified with traps and weaponry and scrolls. Every third or fourth bum on the street was a trained ANBU cadet keeping watch over a stash of hidden gear.

The greatest secret of this area was the run down Shodaime Monument. A statue made of rare and expensive wood, horribly covered with graffiti and trash due to lack of up keep, was situated inside a massive museum of Konoha's 'history.' Anko smirked humorlessly as she looked at the ancient building. It was here that the Shodaime had begun his creation of Konoha when his wife became the first container for the demon fox.

With a shake of her head she stalked inside. A young woman, eyes glued to an equally ancient computer screen waved. "Welcome to Konoha's memorial Museum," she droned. "Fifteen ryou for adults. Children under eighteen and the elderly get in free."

Anko slammed a few coins on the counter, grabbed the ticket as it was ejected from a built in machine and walked into the ladies' room on the other side of the turnstile. Every tile was the kind of dirty old yellow one likens to parchment. A massive wash basin with two broken mirrors and one missing was all the place had in way of a sink. Anko saw numerous phone numbers along the doors, each one proclaiming where one could find a good time. Despite herself Anko snuck a peak into the second to last stall and chuckled when she saw the holes that had been cut out and lined with duct tape.

"Glory to the brave," she muttered with a snigger.

Finally entering the last stall on the left Anko took a seat on the suspiciously clean toilet and focused her chakra. Making over two hundred and seventy four seals she flushed it and was dropped, by way of the most ingenious use of gravity and seals known to shinobi kind, into an accompanying stall.

Opening it she exited into a nearly sterilely clean washroom. Soap, gloves, hairnets and other sanitation odds and end dispensers lined the walls. Washing her hands Anko walked out of the restroom and into her proper office.

The massive complex that held all of Konoha's current prisoners and other unmentionables took up the equivalent of four square acres of space. Situated two hundred feet below ground one thousand meters to the southwest of Konoha the TAI squadron's headquarters was the most well protected part of the shinobi nation.

Every guard was at least a jounin or special ANBU cadet. No single member had less than fifty jutsu mastered along with a variety of elemental types sprinkled in. The most powerful of the guards supposedly could use two types as masters and effectively wield one or two more. Anko herself never saw the need to expand her chakra's reserves beyond her natural earth affinity, but she also didn't see making captain either.

Not because she wasn't skilled, perish the thought, but because being an ANBU captain meant she wouldn't get to do any real 'hands on' work.

She grinned evilly as she made her way to the postings board which showed who would be working on or with who. Anko, as third in command of her particular squad, was usually early, but today she found herself waiting in a line.

Directly in front of her was a short young woman, barely a woman if you had asked Anko, with long brownish red hair tied into two ridiculously ornate ponytails that swung downward. Needless to say the girl had rarely seen battle. She was fidgeting with her hands and mumbling to herself. On her face sat a pair of the most humongous glasses Anko had ever heard of. Not only did they reach into her hair line, but they also covered most of her softly red cheeks as well. The girl's most defining features had to be her dress. Instead of ninja gear or clothing the young kunoichi wore frilly gothic Lolita clothing. She also had on a pair of platform boots synched up with red laces all the way to her knees. However, what drew Anko's eye was not any of the previous. What drew the eye of the elder torturer was the girl's amazing rack. Easily the largest in the room.

Anko looked from her own bust to the girls and sighed heavily. "I swear there's something the water of this village. I didn't get as much as a mosquito bite before fourteen then BAM! I'm wearing a reinforced sports bra to walk down the street," she mused remembering her first foray into the fabled Victoria's Secret Weapon.

The elder of the two women, bored and a little horny from earlier, crouched down, going as agonizingly slow as the movement of the line and reached toward the girl. As soon as the stray hairs from her pony tails could start tickling her nose Anko burst into action. Her arms sipped around the girl, dislocating her elbows and wrists for good measure, to hug her tightly under the large jugs and simultaneously grope them. Anko lifted her and laughed loudly as she yelled and tried to wiggle free of the molester's grasp.

"EEEEEK! ANKO-SEMPAI!" she screamed.

"ARRIVING!" Anko called back as she squeezed and almost juggled the poor girl's breasts.

At the sound the disturbance the entire line turned and regarded them before a collective sigh went through the assembled torturers. While it was too early for this sort of bull crap they couldn't do much. Just Anko being Anko. Besides, a show was a show.

"Please stop that!" Jigarahi Moto whimpered as Anko finally let go. With tears in her eyes she whirled and waved her arms up and down in anger, "Why do you always do that!" she moaned. "You know I'm very sensitive about them!"

Anko, with her hands in her pockets and satisfied grin on her face replied, "Because you're my role model! Tell me what you eat to get em that big! If I had jugs like yours I could get Naruto to do anything! Think about! No more pranks!" she said cheerily.

As Moto was about to say something she stopped and looked upwards and to the left, ticking her head. "Ah…Anko-sempai. Hifumi-neechan wants to talk to you," she said poking intertwining her fingers. The blush on her face faded somewhat.

"Oh hell…" Anko grunted mentally. With a second, audible grunt she nodded, "Fine." Reaching down Anko charged chakra into her fingers and took hold of Moto's glasses. The lenses flashed red and Anko pulled them off.

Moto's red hair suddenly whirled up, folding in on itself until it went from the length of her buttocks to her shoulders. Crimson shifted and faded into a rich auburn before the hair twisted into an amazingly long battle braid. It snaked around her body and tied itself into a knot in her lower back. Her arms and legs stretched along with her upper body until she was Anko's height. Once bright green eyes now shifted to a murky black as they glared out from under sharp, angry eyebrows. Her face went from the young, round face of Moto to sleek feline features with an upturned nose. Anko watched, always interested, as muscles in Moto's abdomen flexed sucking in her bust until she was barely half her normal size.

Before the dress, without its normal support, could sag showing what this new form had to offer it disappeared in a burst of smoke and was replaced by a set of jounin sweats and a heavily altered torturer's special vest. She cracked her neck, stretched her arms and flicked a kunai towards a guard. The blade buried itself, ring deep, in the wall next to his head. The young man shook terribly before slipping two feet out of the way.

"Fuck! Good to be out! HEY! HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU GUYS TO READ? HIFUMI-SAMA NEEDS TO MEET HER SUBJECTS!" the new woman bellowed at the line. The Chunin assistant at the head started and quickly wrote down his assignment before scampering off.

"Could you explain why you want to talk to me first?" Anko asked spinning the glasses around in her hand.

Hifumi grunted and snatched them before tucking them into her cleavage. "Oh yeah. You." She stood toe to toe with Anko, which caused a comingling of the two women's busts. Even the stoic ANBU guards had to admit seeing Hifumi-sama (don't even think of leaving that off) and Anko-sempai's chests pressed together was an enjoyable sight. Of course they weren't stupid enough to think the show was free. If these two didn't want to kill each other every male ogling them would need Tsunade herself to fix what the two combat monsters could do to them.

"I gotta bone to pick," she said poking Anko's big left tit. "What's this I been hearin' about you knocking Jin's boots 'til the cows come home?"

Anko wondered who didn't know she all but raped Jin. "Yeah. I needed some sex. Is it so wrong?"

"EY!" Hifumi snapped her fingers, "I ain't sayin' it's bad to go and get laid. I'm sayin' when ya got someone to look after ya should be lookin' after em! Naruto deserves better than that an' you know it!"

Normally if anyone, Sandaime included, had made comments on how Anko raised Naruto with such vagrant disrespect, she would have turned their face into jelly, but Moto and Hifumi were special. Beyond the odd happenstance of two people in one body Moto, who is the original, was neglected by her mother, which eventually led the poor girl to wander for days without food and water to Konoha where she was taken in as a ward of the village. Of course when her split personality was revealed, she was moved to the mental ward of the hospital where she spent much of her time until Ibiki sought fit to induct her into her torture squad.

Needless to say, when Hifumi got angry at you for being a bad parent, you were being a bad parent.

Anko closed her eyes, but refused to sigh or let her shoulders drop, "Sometimes, leaving the kid to his own devices is better. Motivates him."

Hifumi's black eyes flashed murder, she dug her finger harder into Anko's chest, the nail biting just enough to make her bleed, "Don't. Ever. Say. That. To me. Again." She leaned in and grabbed Anko's head. Not afraid, as Anko could break both of Hifumi's hands before she knew she had them, Anko blinked and let Hifumi lean in and whisper something in her ear.

Now it was Anko's time to glare down her junior. With a dissatisfied grunt Hifumi pushed away from Anko and shoved past those in front of her, memorized her assignments and headed for the prep stations where she could get her tools.

Anko fingered the poisoned needles in her pockets.

Don't forget. I'm not the only one with my eyes on your little family. You ain't got that many chances left switch hitter. Don't strike out Anko-chan.

xxXxx

Hatake Kakashi was not a man to be easily surprised. He had, after all, once seen his closest 'friend' lift a small mountain over his head and throw it at an enemy ninja while proclaiming he could do it because he let his inner youth shine through. However, despite Gai's ability to confound and amaze Kakashi with his random acts of stupid strength, Kakashi was not prepared for what he saw as he made his way to training ground eleven.

His pink haired student was tied to a tree.

She was tied in such a way that if she was any younger than she was it would be highly illegal for Kakashi to be looking at her. Her arms were pulled up and her legs were spread eagled with her ankles pulled around the curve of the large tree. The bindings on her body fed into other ropes that secured her further. Every time she tried to get free a length Naruto cleverly tied to her waist would synch up in just a way that it dug into her pelvis, in very private area. What surprised Kakashi the most was instead of the proverbial ball Sakura was given a ring-gag.

"Is that what I gave Anko last Christmas? I knew she was a re-gifter," Kakashi thought absently. He was mildly annoyed such a thoughtful gift was so carelessly given away. Of course it could be that was an older one Anko had passed down to Naruto.

Both were prospects Kakashi decided to not think about.

Naruto, wearing a domino mask, was laughing maniacally while holding what Kakashi can only describe as the most intimidating vegetable he has ever seen. He also cracked a smaller length of rope like a whip while proclaiming how Sakura should obey 'Her true master. Mitarashi-Uzumaki Naruto-sama.'

Sasuke, he noted with a bit of relief, was merely standing at attention with a bored and slightly pissed look on his face.

"Good morning everyone," he called drawing the attention of both blonde and pink. She screamed and wiggled trying to get him to help. The length of ingenious rope bit a bit harder into her crotch. Her face turned beet red and she stilled.

Coughing into his hand, "Normally I would explain why I'm late, but first I have to ask for the BDSM sideshow to end. Sorry if it cuts off that cucumber's fun," he said pointing at the offending gourd.

Sakura's eyes showed a reverence and happiness at being saved that could only be seen on the face of a cancer or transplant patient looking into the face of the surgeons and physicians that healed them. Unfortunately for her, Kakashi didn't take the Hippocratic Oath.

"You look fine Sakura I'll get you down after I explain the exercise," she roared and wiggled angrily in her bonds. "Think of it as rope escape training. All good ninja are escape artists," he explained.

Naruto flashed a vulpine grin to his prisoner, "I already told her all she has to do is apologize and admit she likes the feeling of being tied up! Come on Sakura-chan! Say you're sorry!"

He reached up and took off the gag. She whimpered and turned her head from him. "Don't be like that. Come on, come on," he said as he tickled her chin. With a swift and expert shift in her head's angle she bit his finger.

He pulled away and yelled as Sakura spit his blood to the side, "Naruto! You bloody pervert let me go! I'll tell my father about this!" she screamed. "He'll be really pissed and kick your pervy little ass!"

"Yeah the king of Konohagakure's underground is gonna be pissed alright. He'll be pissed his only child is a submissive," Naruto thought remembering his first run in with the deceptively meek Haruno Daisuke. To look him in his emerald green eyes was to invite allowing every secret you had to be known.

It didn't help Naruto did once see the man break a piece of granite with his bare hands.

"Naruto let her down, we can't have her sitting up there getting hot and bothered," Kakashi ordered making a dismissive gesture.

Grumbling the demon container drew a kunai and cut Sakura free. She promptly went to clobber him but he merely grinned and held up the ring gag. "I did it once already…" he reminded her.

Stopping in mid swing Sakura growled and stomped back toward the other members of her team. He skipped behind her and stood on the opposite side of Sasuke, to further avoid her ire. Kakashi, happy to not be the only one holding things up smiled.

"Good. Now I doubt I need to explain how important this test is. If you fail you'll go back to being cadets for another term, or longer. If you pass you officially become ninja, as well as adults of Konohagakure no Sato. Now, the test." He reached into a pocket and drew out two bells. "The object of this test is to capture an objective. These are the objectives." He tied them to his belt. "If you fail to get a bell before the two hours are up, you fail to become a ninja."

Sakura raised her hand. "But sensei, there are only two bells."

Kakashi's eye lost its charming gleam, "Exactly."

"So one of us will fail no matter what," Sasuke explained.

"Sad to say. This is a cut throat business. Everything from the day you sign your name on the academy entrance sheet to this test is designed to expunge the weak and inefficient from the ranks of our force. If you can't measure up you'll only be a danger on missions. Do you understand?" he explained.

All three nodded.

"Good. Now any more questions before we begin?" he asked.

Naruto stepped forward, a grin on his face, "We can use anything?" he asked.

Kakashi cracked his neck and stepped forward as well, "Anything. In fact it would be easier for me if you used lethal force."

"Good. Ready when you are boss."

Kakashi held up his hand, his fingers splayed. "Five. Four," he drew in his fingers one by one, "Three. Two. One. GO!"

Sasuke and Sakura exploded in different directions and hid expertly. Naruto however stayed where he was.

"What is that fool doing?" Sasuke snarled. "He can't be expecting to win like that."

"God," Sakura hissed, "What a moron. I'll have to find a way to get a bell so he fails." A slight moistness between her legs made her turn red. "Damn you Naruto…damn you…"

"Enjoying my company Naruto?" Kakashi asked, his eye crinkling in a smile.

"Yeah…something like that…" Naruto said drawing out the words.

Kakashi whirled down and to the left as Naruto's first clone whirled the second, which had transformed into a massive throwing star. The original followed his sensei's movement and flung a kunai, specially treated to be heavier than normal.

Kakashi, as he expected, went to block the attack with his own blade, only to have Naruto's kunai cut into it and send disrupting force against his momentum. Using his inertia Kakashi righted himself and inspected his now ruined knife. With a shrug he tossed the intermingled weapons over his shoulder and dispelled a sneaking shadow clone.

Naruto cursed.

Using that much chakra and an expensive weapon had resulted in the two of them moving five feet. To the left. "Fuck me."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. "So. Is that all?"

"Nowhere close teach!" Naruto flared his trench coat launching two large handfuls of smoke bombs.

Blinking the copy-nin sighed and shook his head, until he heard a sizzling sound that did not belong. Mixed among the diversionary bombs were explosive tags.

Lots of explosive tags.

"I guess it wasn't all…"

xxXxx

Mitarashi-Uzumaki Naruto is known for and as many things. To the TAI squadron under Ibiki he is their unofficial mascot, little brother, and tattoo design provider. To the girls of his graduating class he is a pervert and a letch and a generally horrible and/or annoying person to be around. To the Hokage he is an example of what happens when someone fights against their circumstances.

To Konohagakure no Sato villagers as a whole he is 'The Kid who keeps blowing shit up.'

At the tender age of five Naruto found a discard ninja training manual and began to read the only section not ruined by rain, spilled beer, and dog saliva. While his skill with reading was subpar and the techniques were far beyond his young mind he eventually learned to utilize the most basis of skills to dangerous and powerful effects.

For a prankster boy who could manifest the chakra of a terrible unstoppable immortal killing machine slash living tornado of doom being able to make the average stink pellet into a terrifying glimpse into a dead whale's gastro intestinal tract was a god send.

And so, at the tender age of six Uzumaki, at the time, Naruto mastered the creation of exploding tags and bomb making.

The only thing he did not learn from the manual, as no copies of that particular one exist in the Hidden Leaf any longer, was a single word that has ever been missing from the Mitarashi clan's antics.

Restraint.

xxXxx

Sasuke and Sakura watched, horror struck, as the singed and charred corpse of their sensei was blown backward like a shuriken that had been thrown through a pork skewer. With several very nasty looking bounces the piece of meat that had once been Hatake Kakashi rolled to a stop at the base of a tree. The rancid stench of cooked flesh grew hot and heavy in the immediate area of the body's landing place.

"Shit! I wasted so many on that attack," Naruto grimaced as he hid underwater. The special re-breather he wore indicated how much air was left. "If I pop my head out now to get a bead on him he'll beat my ass for singing his hair I bet!" Naruto thought about sighing, but thankfully he remembered opening his mouth wide under water was a bad idea. "This sucks. First I get paired with Konoha's-Most-Wanted that isn't really wanted. Not to mention…Sakura…" Not even Naruto caught the slight venom in his own voice, "But now I have sergeant fuckwad for a sensei. Yay me."

A second explosion rocked the area. Naruto looked around quickly for any sign of Kakashi's counter attack but all he saw was a slightly smoking form flying backward to land in the water ten yards behind him. Blinking Naruto watched as Sasuke drew his own rebreather from his kunai holster and put it on.

The Uchiha's eyes widened when he saw Naruto. The Blonde container squinted and waved.

Sasuke, weakly, waved back.

xxXxx

Sakura dashed between an outcropping of trees and her new hiding place. She kept her chakra as low as possible, which for her mean that no one could sense her at all, and slid into a small bush. "What am I going to do. Not even Sasuke-kun was able to get a bell yet."

Watching Sasuke suddenly explode from the tree line to attack a boulder had confused the pink haired cadet, until the boulder sprouted arms and began to fight back. Kakashi's dirt shield, made to both defend himself from the blast and to hide from a follow up assault withered and crumbled with each movement he used to counter the boy's attacks. While Sasuke's taijutsu skills were lacking, when he kicked a small rock, revealing a smaller red button Kakashi dodged back, immediately assuming a trap. Instead when Sasuke's foot came down on it a long ornately hilted katana sprung up from a slot in the ground.

He drew the weapon slowly and slid into a swords stance.

Kakashi whistled and slipped a kunai from his holster. "Impressive blade. I always wondered what happened to the clan's weaponry stockpiles after Itachi blew through there."

The mention of the unmentionable name to Sasuke sent the cadet screaming forward. His speed seemingly increased with the blade in hand. Kakashi parried and dodged the first one-two combo, but as Sasuke's strikes grew in speed and intensity the Jounin found one or two nicks forming on his gear.

With an amused smirk Kakashi whirled in place, spinning his kunai in hand. He deflected Sasuke's final attack and grabbed the boy's collar. "By the way Sasuke…I hate the smell of cats."

Tossing Sasuke over his head Kakashi threw the kunai ahead of his student to trigger one of Sasuke's previously hidden traps.

If Sakura had the ability to read minds she would have read in Sasuke's quote: 'Oh shit.'

She gulped as a second explosion had sent the young prodigy flying into the lake. She director her attention to Kakashi who was sitting on the remnants of his boulder disguise. He casually flipped through an orange book giggling to himself absently like a loon.

"I can't defeat sensei or get close enough for a bell on my own. I'll need help. But…" again she felt a rough heat between her legs. Snarling her eyes closed and she focused. Naruto and Sasuke were close, I the stream to be exact. Slowly Haruno Sakura's sea green eyes opened. She locked onto Naruto's position and calmly began to stroll out of the forest.

Kakashi looked up from his book minutely as he watched the young woman stand between him and the stream, her back to him. The jounin raised his eyebrow in confusion as she cracked her neck. "Sensei."

"Yes Sakura?" he asked, using his thumb as a book mark.

"What would happen if say, a cadet is injured too badly to finish your test?" she asked.

Kakashi's eye flashed a tiny bit of something, but she didn't see it anyway so he didn't care, "No matter what, you must get a bell."

Sakura cracked her knuckles and then slammed her fists together. "Yes Sensei," she answered coldly.

"Uh oh…" Kakashi said as he suddenly noticed a pink choker around Sakura's throat.

xxXxx

At the Konoha General Hospital Haruno Sakaki made her normal rounds, a skip in her step. The nurses, who didn't like the arrogant woman normally, dodged out of her way as she went into see patient after patient. Kuroudo Akabane one of the older doctors, a medic nin who had defected from his far away island nation stopped her to chat.

"Why Sakaki-chan you seem absolutely radiant today," the man said as he checked his clipboard. He had a soft smile on his face, his eyes closed in a squint.

Giggling like a school girl Sakaki wiggled her hips, "Oh I can't help it Kuroudo!" the squeal made even Kuroudo's smile falter. "My husband is coming back from his trip today!" she explained.

"Ah yes. Daisuke-kun. It will be good to see him again; the children in the intensive care ward have missed him dearly." The two doctors made their way toward the commissary to get some lunch. "By the way what was the reason for the trip?"

Sakaki made a thinking face, "He had to visit one of his relatives. An older woman is experiencing trouble with her body."

Kuroudo's smile widened, "Ah yes the fabled: ura-kekkai genkai. A bloodline limit that is not a blood line limit. I believe it is similar to the now deceased Uzumaki clan's vitality yes?"

She nodded, "Sort of. Bear in mind the explanation I'm giving you is based on what Daisuke has told me not my own actually study," Kuroudo nodded as they got their food and sat down. "The chakra pathways of a normal person run through them like blood vessels and arteries. Normally they flow along parallel to vital structures, empowering them by proxy the more chakra is used. However, the Haruno clan's chakra pathways are built into their muscles, allowing for direct transfer of chakra into muscle mass and energy. "

"Ah I see. So in theory a Haruno family member with sufficient chakra capacity would be able to empower their voluntary muscles gaining incredible power," he said using his fork for emphasis while pointing at her.

The elder female Haruno nodded, "Yes. But it comes with a risk. The family has found half of the time its members cannot control the empowerment of muscles at all. In essence their chakra always is making their muscles more powerful. As you can guess having muscles that are far more powerful than normal tends to result in the tissue ripping or even coming off of the user's bones."

"Oh dear, does your daughter have that danger?" he asked, obviously concerned.

"She did," Sakaki explained, "Until I convinced Daisuke to get a seal specialist to create a choker that limits the chakra Sakura can use at any one time. The choker keeps her pathways from leaking chakra into her muscles. It also inhibits her physical ability somewhat, because her pathways don't actually influence her directly anymore, but in the long run it should give her a stronger than average body."

Akabane's eyes flashed a bit of something he usually kept hidden from his coworkers, "Well I hope she's eating properly. A ninja who is unable to fight using chakra needs a strong body and if she doesn't eat right there's a chance her body will break down for entirely different reasons."

Sakaki looked at her superior, and with not a hint of remorse, "Then she'll stop this 'ninja' nonsense and devote herself to a proper life."

xxXxx

Naruto, as the container of the Kyuubi, as well as in the company of Konoha's most notoriously violent people, was especially skilled at sensing killing intent. He knew it wasn't Kakashi, as the copy ninja wouldn't ever think about killing Naruto or Sasuke. Anko would castrate him and the council would heal him just to castrate what was left. It wasn't Sasuke, because he was right next to Naruto and looked more bored than murderous.

That left one person.

Growling deeply Naruto leapt out of the water and landed on all fours. As he stood straight he turned and spat out the rebreather to look at Haruno Sakura dead in the face. "Hey Sakura-chan."

"Hello Naruto," she replied.

"What's up?"

"I'm going to pass Naruto," she stated flatly as she stretched her arms and legs. Naruto's eyes slid over her body. "I need to team up with someone to defeat Kakashi. Or at least get a bell. The only way to do that is to make sure it's only two people trying, ne?"

Naruto didn't like where this was going, nor did he like how big Sakura's eyes seemed to have become. "Wow. I don't know what's scarier, those eyes or the fact she looks sexy with murder in em."

"I believe you know I could never hurt Sasuke-kun." She looked at him, her gaze and voice growing cold. "But you I can hurt. You I will hurt. I will pass Naruto. I'm sorry you will not."

Naruto laughed. First it was a chuckle then it became a loud ferocious cackle. "YOU? HURT ME? Oh god that's funny." He pulled his hands from his pockets and crouched into a fighting stance.

"Good. I'd feel bad if I just beat the shit out of you without you fighting back." Sakura hooked a finger into her choker.

Naruto started, "Hey…Sakura. What are you doing."

"I. Will. Pass!"

Naruto roared, "This isn't funny Sakura! Stop it! You know as well as I do your dad wouldn't want us to fight like that!" She paid him no heed. "Hey! Sakura! SAKURA! HARUNO SAKURA IF YOU TAKE THAT OFF I WILL FIGHT TO THE DEATH!"

The pink haired girl frowned and pulled the choker hard. It ripped at its center and slowly slid off of her skin. She grabbed her sides and grunted as her muscles seemed to warp and bend under her flesh. She gave a loud, and to Naruto's ears orgasmic cry, as her chakra exploded outward.

The dust that had billowed out from her release faded slowly. Naruto looked ahead grimly, still in his stance. Suddenly he leapt to the left and Kakashi watched, both amazed and horrified as a crater formed where Naruto had been. The oldest of the ninja watched, dumbfounded as Sakura pulled her arm from the center of the crater and prepared for a second strike, but it was not merely the power of the blow, but Sakura herself that drew much of Kakashi's amazement. The thin, almost anorexic girl was gone. Replacing her stick like limbs and flat washboard body was a set of leanly muscled, but still defined limbs connected to a body that would be more appropriate on a life-long gymnast.

"Okay," Kakashi relented, "That's new." "Did she open a gate? No…this is something different…"

Naruto, however, was far from amazed or pleased. His face showed the raw fury that was playing out in his mind. "She took it off. Fuck! Does she want to kill me? A good solid punch from her without that choker could collapse my lungs!"

Don't worry Kit. I'll protect you…Kyuubi cooed, her voice dripping an emotion Naruto could not place.

"Not the time fox!"

Don't forget. If Pinky does try to kill you I'll step in. I refuse to die to someone like her.

"Duly noted." Naruto refocused on Sakura. Though he was pissed she was too focused on passing to see the real reason for the test. Despite his rage that she had no qualms about wounded him to a mortal extent. And even though he hated the fact he may have to ask Kyuubi for help.

Mitarashi-Uzumaki Naruto was extremely aroused.

xxXxx

Sasuke slipped out of the water in Kakashi's blind spot. He kept low and moved swiftly over the ground like a snake. Keeping his team in his peripheral vision he made sure not to draw either's attention as he slithered to a better vantage point.

What he saw completely startled him.

Sakura was…well she looked stunning. The frailness had left her body and was replaced with powerful definition. But it was not just her body that made him take notice: her face. The somewhat submissive and naive girl was gone. The face that was looking at Naruto reminded Sasuke strongly of a certain purple haired interrogator. Blatant confidence combined with just a hint of amusement. He could also faintly smell something that made his nose burn and his blood boil.

"The hell did Naruto do to make her pull this off?" he asked himself absently. Remembering the blonde Sasuke studied him as well. To his horror the look in Naruto's eyes was not fear, or true anger. "What the fuck? He's…He's getting turned on! Oh my god!" Sasuke's eyes, which had been scanning the young Uzumaki, caught sight of something he should not have. "This has gotten way out of control…"

xxXxx

Sakura charged. Her newly powerful muscles gave her amazing speed and strength, but her reaction time was nowhere near as conditioned as Naruto's. The shorter of the two dipped under her straight and delivered a strong upper cut to her gut. She grunted, only long enough for Naruto to feel his knuckles crack against her abs. Sakura's hands swept down and clapped hard against Naruto's temples.

Stunned from the collision he was not prepared as she twisted her hips slightly and high kicked his chin. Teeth cracked and flew from his jaw as he rose several feet into the air. "It…it feels like my head is coming off."

Sakura spun in place and delivered a brutal roundhouse kick to Naruto's side. His elbow was crunched between the unstoppable force of Sakura's leg and the immovable object of his ribs. Pain shot through his chest as one bone broke and scraped his lung. His elbow joint shattered. With the force exerted in those key locations he only hovered to the left a few inches before tumbling. Catching himself he sat on his knees panting.

"Fuck. Me. Two hits and I'm having to divert chakra to heal. She's really trying to take me out." He looked up at her and saw the hate raging in her eyes. His blue orbs slipped down to look at Sakura's slightly pouty lips. "Damn. I should not want to kiss her this bad."

"That's right," something deep in Sakura whispered, "Make him bow for everything he's done. All those looks. Every time one of those filthy paws have been on you. CRUSH HIM!"

Naruto, sensing the killing intent flare leapt back. He swirled on the spot and charged chakra to his elbow, seeing as he needed both arms to fight back. Sakura let a long hiss of air escape from her mouth as she regained her lock on Naruto. The blonde couldn't help but smile. He absently felt a strong pulse echo in his loins.

"If only if only," he thought faintly. "If only you'd let me in a bit Sakura. Oh well time to knock your ass out pinky." Naruto clapped his hands together and began to sway his body left and right.

Sakura's eyes narrowed. She recognized the movements from when Hinata had used the technique that Naruto had taught her. Sakura slid into the only taijutsu stance she knew in preparation to charge in.

She exploded forward. Her arms were pulled back for a double palm strike to Naruto's chest. Her hope was to collapse it enough to make Naruto unable to fight. Her hope, not her aim. Without realizing it, Sakura was letting something guide her strikes. Something that saw Naruto as wholly unnatural and wanted him gone.

If only Haruno Sakura had thought beyond her own pain, the events Team 7 would come to find themselves in, in the future would turn out drastically different.

The demon container, eyes closed, continuing to sway let his senses slacken so he could focus on his hearing. Sakura's tensed and then released muscles gave off metallic sound not unlike rapid series of gun shots. Her double strike resounded in Naruto's head like a piece of rebar breaking. The groaning of Sakura moving told him when to wait, and like a serpent, when to strike.

She's aiming to hit with the left first, hard on my chest to move me back a step.

TWANG!

Her second hit will strike my heart with more power than the first.

GROAN!

Sakura planted her front leg to strike.

NOW!

Naruto whipped to the left avoiding her first attack perfectly. He grabbed the flying second arm by the wrist and pulled it with him. Sakura's power was nothing compared to the force Naruto wielded to whirl her.

MITARASHI SHUZOKU KYUUSHO JUTSU: HEBI HOUYOU (Mitarashi Family Secret Technique: Serpentine Embrace)UWABAMI BOUSHI HAJI(Python Spinning Grip)

As Naruto pulled Sakura along with his momentum he swirled her up above his head and grabbed her arm with his other hand. Spinning her around like a ball and chain he planted his feet and tossed her as hard as he could into a cluster of trees.

Disoriented by the intensity of her spin Sakura's skull connected hard with the foremost of the trees. Naruto watched, somewhat horror struck as Sakura cracked through the first tree and then barreled into the next. She collapsed in a heap at the base.

Naruto slid back into his attack stance and dashed forward, charging chakra to his feet to launch himself high into the air as he neared the copse. Rolling himself into a ball he dove straight for her. Instead of doing a gravity charged kick to her spine, Naruto found himself cracked in the face by Sakura's super power left straight.

His nose fractured, his eye sockets broke and he felt momentary blindness before the Kyuubi's chakra surged into his head. For a scant second Naruto heard the sound of fabric tearing and realized it was Sakura's body.

"Well…that sucks. I hate having a conscience." He fell to his knees and rubbed his face as it healed, "Sakura…" he said through broken teeth. "Your body is-"

She kicked him in the chest hard enough to fling him into a tree. He blew through the branches to end up on the other side. "I know," she grunted as her left arm went numb. "Fifteen minutes…maybe…"

Kakashi and Sasuke both watched as Sakura stalked toward Naruto. She was cradling her arm faintly, and the elder of the two ninja saw she was favoring one leg. "What is going on? Naruto doesn't seem to be doing any damage to her…" Realization of what was happening to the young girl almost as soon as she reached the unconscious Naruto.

"Y'know Naruto? I don't really know why I hate you. But my father says it's bad for someone to repress their emotions."

Naruto looked up from the dirt, a faint grin on his face, "Is that true?" She nodded. "Then one last thing. I…I…" he coughed, "I feel your ass is gonna be the tightest in the village in about three years."

"GOODBYE UZUMAKI NARUTO!" she screamed.

HARUNO SHUZOKU TAIJUTSU (Haruno Family Hand to Hand Technique) GEKIHA KAMI NO KEN (Crushing Hand of God)!

She swooped up an arm and slammed her fist down hard on his back. The chakra she was emitting from her hand was so concentrated it almost wreathed her arm in a veil of energy. Sasuke and Kakashi shuddered as they saw Naruto's skull to be the target of the attack. The copy ninja stood, his eyes focused solely on Sakura, until he saw Naruto make a hand sign.

"That…fool!" Kakashi thought with a smile.

Her hand plowed through Naruto's head. The crater formed by the attack was soon filled by blood brains and fragments of bone. As she felt his skull crack under her assault she felt something else break. Her eyes widened, encompassing her face at the horror of what she had just done. She just came. Fear shook her entire body as she looked at the now headless corpse of Naruto. Her right arm fell limply to her side, both from her terror at her own actions as well as her own damaging power.

"N…Naruto?" she asked. The rage lifted from her mind like a haze. Her muscles suddenly felt heavy, her body ached. The strength fled her as the last of her chakra dissipated. "Naruto?"

"RIGHT HERE BEAUTIFUL~!" he screamed as he grabbed her ankles from below ground. With a horror movie inspired laugh Naruto pulled Sakura into the dirt.

Naruto pulled Sakura under while pushing himself out of the ground. Laughing like a loon he slapped Sakura's neck and she blanched as she felt the familiar feeling of her choker, which had repaired itself somehow, back on.

"DAMMIT!" she screamed trying to wiggle free.

"Sorry Sakura-chan! You're too worn out from fighting me to break free!" He made the victory sign to Kakashi. "See that Cyclops? I mastered it not too long ago!"

A ringing sound split the air like a katana through rice paper. Naruto's face fell and he dropped his arm. "Please tell me that wasn't…"

Kakashi smiled, his head ticking to the left, "Yes. That was the alarm. You all fail."

---

A/N: Haruno family genes. I hate explaining jutsu I think up. I always do it in some drawn out screwy way that still confuses people. But this is basically to give Sakura a bit more character and to show her mother is an even worse wretch than you thought she was.

Also I hope some of you connect with how Sakura views Naruto now, wherein she knows there's something bad inside Naruto (Kyuubi) and it scares her because she's not sure if Naruto can control it (he can't really). Oh and ya'll will like Sakura's daddy, I've made sure of that.

I'm also sorry for adding in a few of the TAI squadron to this chapter, Hifumi (she is based off of the awesome manga Change123) and Komugi (she's based off of a good friend of mine with far less tattoos and piercings. I think she'd be hot with them but no on listens to me) were there to show Naruto has more people that care about him. Plus I wanted a reason to make some crazy characters and who would be crazy than ninja who torture other ninja for a living.

THat's all for now, excluding this omake:

MountainWind Blowing Away...

OMAKE: Komugi Always Gets What She Wants 1

Komugi: Please Naruto-kun! I need it!

Naruto: No Komugi! It isn't right!

Komugi: Who said something like this has to be right or wrong! Can't you see how much it means to me?

Naruto: But...Anko...

Komugi (Taking Naruto's hand): Who says she has to know? This could be our little secret!

Naruto (closing his eyes and gritting his teeth intently): You...if you loved me you wouldn't ask me this!

Komugi: If you loved me you'd do it! Please Naruto! I'll do anything!

Naruto: And what is anything?

Komugi (blushing and pouting): I'll let you have my copy of Smexy Mission Scrolls 4.

Naruto (eyes wide): No...The special Hd edition?

Komugi: With additional commentary from Hajiru Yoko about her favorite scenes...

Naruto (quietly): Damn you temptress...

Komugi (kisses Naruto on the cheek): I'll expect these two nin to talk by the end of the day! Bye Naruto-Kun!

Naruto (sighs as he washes hands and inspects torture devices): Man...all because she forgot to ask off for Half-price piercing day at Moshi's...

Mist-nin A: Are we gonna get tortured by you because she offered porn?

Naruto: yeah.

Mist Nin B: This is gonna be bad isn't it?

Naruto (holding up a device that is not phiscially possible to look out withot wincing): It's Yoko-sama's first anal scene.

Both: We understand. Do what you must.

-Mountainwind: godDAMN I even made the Omake long!