IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER:

MUCH OF THIS CHAPTER IS A SERIES OF DREAM SEQUENCES. WE APOLOGIZE TO THE READERS IN ADVANCE FOR ANY CHARACTER WHO MAY ACT
O-O-C (out of character). IF ANYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER SEEMS RATHER SILLY, IT'S ALL THE AUTHOR'S FAULT. SO, NO FLAMES IN YOUR REVIEWS, PRETTY PLEASE? THERE. WE SAID IT.

Y'ALL HAVE BEEN WARNED.

And now, on with the show!

CHAPTER 54

-"THE LONGEST NIGHT"-
(PART III –JOURNEY INTO THE MIND OF DAN HIBIKI!)

Let us leave the chaos behind us for now and focus our attention on a somewhat more peaceful scene: Dan Hibiki, fast asleep. When we last saw him, he WAS supposed to be thinking about a way he could defeat R and win back the fame and glory he once enjoyed…

Naturally, within an hour he'd fallen asleep, dead to the world, and snoring loudly on top of that too.

And as he sleeps, Dan begins to dream…

What insight into his personality can we gain by looking into his dreams? What images fill the sleeping mind of the self-proclaimed master of Saikyo-ryuu, this would-be defender of truth and justice?

...Apparently, the same ones that dominate in any (somewhat) normal man with an active libido, a healthy interest in the opposite sex, and delusions of granduer.

-(CUE DREAM SEQUENCE)-

"...a.........Dan," a woman's voice calls him.

The voice gets Dan's attention. "Huh?" he wonders, blinking.

"D...n......Dan!"

Dan recognizes the voice immediately. "Th-That voice...can it be?... I-Is this heaven...? Wha--!? It IS! MAI!?" Gods, she's so beautiful!

The sexy ninja girl Mai Shiranui meets Dan face to face. "Oh, Dan...I...I was always infatuated with you."

Dan can't believe it! This…this HAS to be a dream! "WHAT!? Wh-Wh-What did you say!?"

"What's the matter, darling? Don't you… like me?"

Dan's cheeks turn bright-red as he blushes; twitching nervously, he replies, "O-O-Of course I do!"

Mai squeals in delight, "Eeee! I'm so happy! Then don't you think we should, you know, do what married people do? Come on, Dan, I'm W-A-I-T-I-N-G!"

Now, Dan's face is as red as a tomato! Steam comes out of his ears. He visibly gulps; he can barely stammer, "*Gulp!"… Wh-What married people d-d-do!?"

She nods.

Regaining his senses – for the moment, anyway – Dan admits, "Oh, Mai…! No..! NO! We CAN'T! What about Andy? I thought you and he were… And besides, I-I'm not ready yet! If you REALLY feel that way, then if… if it's possible, I'd like us to start with a sweet, innocent friendship instead and then maybe work our way up to…"

And THAT's when Mai plants a kiss on Dan's lips. And not just one, either; she begins kissing him passionately.

As Dan gets over the shock of being kissed by the girl of his dreams, he gasps, "O-Oh! Oh, God! Oh, Mai…! How bold of you! I-I mean...HERE! In broad daylight even...! I...I'm overwhelmed! Oh...!...?...Ohhhhh…...........Oooooohh…..!"

At long last Dan Hibiki, master of Saikyo-ryu, is finally getting when he deserves. He's sharing a single bed with, embracing, and in the embrace of the girl of his fantasies…

Dan asks, "D'ya mind if I turn off the light, Mai?"

Mai replies, "*Giggle*... go right ahead, Dan-chan..."

CLICK!

-(END DREAM SEQUENCE)-

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dan wakes up in his bed, sweat dripping off him, breathing hard as if he'd fought a fierce battle.

"*Huff,huff*…." Then, he realizes, "Aw crud, it WAS a dream after all. Man…! My heart was beating like crazy! I...I can't believe I had such...such a vivid dream about Mai! And I call myself a martial artist! Ah, well…"

He gets up to get a big glass of water from the fridge – he chugs it down in a couple of gulps. Then he goes back to bed.

But Dan's dream is FAR from over.

For somewhere, far in the distance, he hears a faint laugh, a snicker. He wakes up and looks around in confusion. Where had it come from? The laughter continues as Dan scans his surroundings, looking for the source. But just as soon as he gets out of bed and takes maybe a couple steps, the laughter abruptly stops. It was as if there was an intruder who suspected he'd been discovered and was trying to avoid detection.

"Somebody there?" Dan asks. The silence is a bit unnerving. It wasn't just that the laughter had ceased. There was a palpable sense of emptiness. His danger sense (such as it is) is on full alert, his fists clenched, ready in case there was some crazed fan standing outside wielding a mallet, ready to whomp him. Yeeeah… right.

Or, even better, R trying to launch a sneak attack on him. If THAT were the case, then Dan wouldn't have to wait long for his chance to even the score with him.

But there was no one. The room is empty. The only thing staring back at him was his father's tengu mask, and THAT obviously wasn't posing any threat. "Of course not," he says to himself.

"Heh heh heh… well, well, if it isn't my son, the "Dateless Wonder". Alone, AGAIN, as usual. But that's nothing new," a man's voice replies out of nowhere.

Dan whirls around; the sudden realization that he wasn't alone was like a cold splash of water in his face. Sweat was rolling off him in buckets. Standing in the middle of his room, spinning in place, trying to see everywhere in the room at once, he demands, "Who said that?!"

"Oh, c'mon, boy! Just WHO were you expecting tonight? That ninja chick you're fantasizing over half the time? Get real!"

Dan feels a cold shiver running down his spine. The voice was full of sarcasm, and so familiar that it gives him the heebie-jeebies, as if the intruder and Dan knew each other...

The horrifying reality slammed home to Dan all at once. OH NO! It couldn't be! Not HIM!

"Oh yeah. It IS. I'll give ya three more seconds… two… ONE!"

KRAKA-BOOOM!!

With thunder and a flash of lightning, the owner of the voice appears. Since it's dark in the room, all Dan can make out is the shape of his visitor, who appears to be a man roughly the same height as Dan, wearing a similar long ponytail, and a martial artist's gi. Plus, he's wearing a long-nosed mask.

With trembling fingers, Dan turns on the lights…

CLICK!

And comes face to face with his father, the late Go Hibiki! "……………………..!?" is all Dan can say; he's too stunned by the sight to speak.

Go flashes a grin, saying, "Hello there, son. Long time no see."

Dan does the only thing one can do in a situation like this. "*Gulp*….. D-dad!? Is it REALLY you? But HOW…?"

Go spells it out plainly for his boy. "Does the phrase "BOO!" mean anything to you?"

Dan's next reaction is obvious. He takes a deep breath, then….

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

And he faints.

When he comes to, Dan finds himself not in his own dojo, but in the old dojo his father once owned. He hears a familiar voice…

"Hmph. About time you woke up…. Loser."

Dan looks up to see his father standing before him, radiating a ghostly aura around him. The tengu mask Go Hibiki wore in life now seemed to be permanently attached to his face; the way it moved in synch with his mood was so lifelike, as if it were Go's "true" face, so to speak.

The golden halo hanging over his head was such an obvious clue (even to a simpleton like Dan) as to where he'd been ever since… well, y'know.

Regarding his pathetic excuse for a son, Go's unusually long nose shakes side to side with his head in a "tisk tisk" gesture. Back in place, too, was, his usual sarcastic grin on his face. "OK, I've made our dream locale more suitable and myself a little less tangible. Are ya satified now?"

Dan frowns at that. "Sh'yeah, hardly." It's then that Dan notices he's wearing nothing but the boxers he's been sleeping in. "And WHY am I still in my boxers!?

"Well you DID ask me for advice, didn't you? And as for your current state of undress, you're in the process of getting ready for the "being naked in public" dream you'll have next."

"Wh-WHAT!? Why didn't you interrupt THAT instead of turning my wet dreams into some sort of nightmare!?"

"Bee-CAUSE I thought that coming here to tell you about things to come was MUCH more important than some imaginary romp in bed with a girl you REALLY don't stand a snowball's chance in hell with. Or am I wrong about that?"

Dan doesn't say anything in response to his father's question.

"....WELL!?"

"I am NOT even going to dignify that question with an answer, thank you very much!"

Unfazed, Go continues. "Feh, whatever. Your personal opinion of my timing is irrelevant." Changing the subject, he asks, "So, uh… how is your mother these days?"

Dan admits, "I wouldn't know. We haven't talked a lot since, well, you… died and all."

Go looked sad. "I'm sorry." A long moment passes, and then he says, "Ah, well… before we begin, there is something you should know about me."

Dan blinks. "What?"

Motioning with his hand, Go beckons, "Come closer, and I'll tell ya…." When Dan gets close enough, he pauses for dramatic effect, and then says, "OK. Dan, I am… NOT your father!"

Dan is shocked! After all these years…! "…………… Wh-what!?"

Then Go laughs, "Bwhahahaha! Just kidding ya, boy! Man, you should have seen the look on your face!"

"Why, you….! How DARE you play with my already-damaged psyche! I think you enjoy just watching me squirm, don't you?"

Go grins. "Yeah, pretty much. Geez, don't take things so personally, boy!"

"Y'know, I'm beginning to wonder HOW you even got up there." Dan says, pointing upwards to heaven.

"Hey, now, you watch your mouth. I might not be "father of the year" material, but I THINK I did a pretty good job of training you in the way you should go. And I'd HOPED that when you got old enough, you wouldn't turn away from it. What about all those times we talked about honor, fairness, and all that stuff? You think I did all that for MY own health!? Sheesh! Some son YOU are! To think of all those years, all that love and attention your mother and I wasted on you!"

Furious, Dan's reply to that is, "How dare you! My mother LOVED me! And YOU! There were times where I THOUGHT you did, too! If that's true, you sure got a funny way of showing it! To you, I'm a just a big disappointment, a first-class loser in your eyes, and you can't stand that!"

"Where'd you get THAT idea?"

"YOU, that's who! I'm a complete mess, in your opinion. OK, MAYBE I'm not as charismatic or witty as you or have your ability to score with the ladies like you do, but DAMNIT, DAD, I'M NOT PERFECT!"

"So that's it, huh? News flash, sonny boy: I NEVER expected you to be." Go's calm and cool reply to Dan's ranting deflates his son down a few notches. "Remember when I said you reminded me of myself when I was your age, except without the potential for greatness? You haven't changed a bit at all. If you're able to get yourself into trouble like you've been doing these days, you're old enough to get yourself out. You're a grown man, Dan; I expected better from you by now. Oh, sure, you might be a martial artist of ONLY barely-above-mediocre ability but you still act like that same hormonal, awkward, and goofy kid with zero-sex appeal when it comes to women."

And with that, Dan's little world crumbles like a cookie. His face goes slack. His muscles went slack. Only some involuntary instinct not to collapse in front of this, this godlike figure in his life, the one he'd fought to avenge, kept him upright.

But that state lasts all but under a minute, when he realizes…

"HEY! What do you mean by "ONLY barely-above-mediocre ability"?" an offended Dan objects, his brain clearly skipping over the part where his father just dissed him again.

"Lemme put it this way, boy – if we were to fight right now, I'd kick your ass. And I'm DEAD."

Slowly walking up to his father, Dan tried to look pleading and highly impressive, all at once. "But, Oyaji... I defeated Sagat! I avenged your death! Doesn't that count for SOMETHING?"

"That was then. This is NOW, boy. Oh sure, you beat Sagat (which I'm proud of you for, by the way). And sure, you kept your promise to carry on where I left off – and became famous in the process, what with your dojos, the exercise videos, and the book deal and all... But it's like ever since then your skills have been getting worse, not better. Hate to say it, but right now you totally SUCK. No wonder you get schooled on a regular basis!"

Dan frowns, saying, "Man, some advice… If you didn't want to help me in the first place, then why don't you just go away and leave me alone!"

Go laughs, "Heh… Leave you alone… Like all the women in your life? As you have no one to go to after your victory? And NO, those cheerleaders don't count!"

"HEY!"

"Heh… Hit a nerve did I? Face it, boy. Who would love someone like you? I'm telling you, if you don't man up and make some moves, you'll end up alone for the rest of your life… But cheer up; with YOUR win record these days, it won't be for too long…"

Dan just glares at the spirit of his father. "………….!!"

As he begins to fade away, Go remembers, "Oh, yeah… almost forgot. Not like you deserve to know this, but I came back to let you know your path to becoming a great martial artist draws near."

Now that part gets Dan by the leg. "Really? So, uh, when is all this supposed to happen, Dad?"

"It lies in your future," the ghost of Go Hibiki says with an air of mystery.

"I KNOW that, old man! But WHEN in my future? And do I have something to do with it NOW?"

"You shall choose which future shall come to pass."

"Wow, that's great!" Dan says with obvious sarcasm. "Can I pick the one where you stop being cryptic, vague, and mysterious and actually tell me something, y'know, USEFUL!? GOSH!"

Go grins like a Cheshire cat. "Actually, I would have gladly provided you with some additional details. But since we've wasted all our available time together with pointless bickering, guess what? YOU're gonna have to make do without 'em! HA! So you've only yourself to blame this time."

"WHAT!? Already!? But you just GOT here! That's cold!"

"Well our time's up for now. But don't worry; you'll be seeing me again before this night's over. Hehe heh heh... enjoy your public nudity dream, boy...! WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!"

"HEY! Wait a minute! You can't just take off and leave me like this! OYAJIIII....!!

Go's mad laughter echoes through the ruins of the Hibiki-ryuu dojo "... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!"

…And the next thing Dan knows he's out in the street. He has a moment of déjà vu; oddly enough, this is the SAME EXACT place where he'd lost his shirt (and everything else!) to the Gambling King, oh about five espiodes ago….

Only THIS time, he doesn't have a barrel to cover himself. Dan is now COMPLETELY naked. Several people take notice of Dan's appearance; random voices could be heard throughout the crowd:

"Goodness! Young men these days have NO shame!"

"Yo, that dude MUST be drunk."

"Hey, buddy! Don't go walkin' around in the buff like that! This is a public street, y'know!"

"No, sweetie, just… don't look at the weird naked man."

"Arrrgh! My eyes… my eyes! OK, I'm officially scarred for life now."

"Wow! I didn't know we had nude corners in this ward!"

"So he's THAT type of guy....."

"It's said "it ain't what you got; it's how you use it." But THAT's taking it a little too far."

"Oh yes they call him the streak!"

A frightened young woman's scream can be heard over the crowd, "EEEEK!! Help! Police! Arrest that pervert hentai flasher! EEEK!!"

Before he knows it, two police officers, thinking that the naked guy might act in a hostile manner toward the civilians, quickly subdue Dan and slap the cuffs on him, arresting him for being nude in a public place.

Humilated, Dan screams, "AAARRRGGH!! I'll get you for this, old man!"

"ACK!"

Startled by that dream he just had, Dan wakes up on the floor of his own place.

But wait a minute. How'd he get from his bed down to here?

"Ugh... what a horrible way to wake up." He groans, shaking his head slowly from side to side, trying to clear out the cobwebs, shaking off any lingering memories of that trippy dream he just had.

"Dan….?" A familiar female voice says.

When he looks up and around, Mai is leaning over the side of his bed, a look of concern on her face. "You must have had a terrible dream. Are you all right?"

Somewhere, way, way, back in his addled mind, Dan realizes that instead of waking up he must have gone back to his orginial dream. Still, dream or no, he's relieved to see her. After all, it could have been worse. Dan nods, telling her, "Yeah. That's all it was. Just a bad dream."

She smiles, a playful expression on her face. "Well, I know what will make you feel better…." And with that, she lets down one strap of her negligee.

Dan's jaw drops. "………….!"

Then with one finger, she traces down to the edge of her nightgown, and pulls that down, revealing just a little bit of cleavage…

"*Gulp!*……….."

Just before she's about to expose her ample bosom, an EXTREMELY overjoyed Dan shouts "HALLELUJAH!! Woo-hoo……!!" and leaps up to embrace her passionately…

-(END DREAM SEQUENCE)-

SPLAT!

Only to end up landing on the floor, flat on his face, on the other side of his bed.

"Aw man. It WAS just a dream after all," he says, obvious disappointment in his voice.

With that Dan gets up and back into bed. He lies there for quite some time, trying to get to sleep and having no success. Great. Just my luck. Just my lousy luck, he thinks, and then realizes that if his luck was running contrary to what he REALLY wanted...

So he tries to stay awake, and manages that for all of ten minutes before finally drifting off into a deep slumber.

In his subconsciousness, the world swirls around him, doing loopty-loops in his sleep, different aspects of his life tumbling around like clothes in an electric dryer. Events that really had happened in his life would mix and mingle freely with those that hadn't, drawn from his deepest fears to his wildest dreams with everything else inbetween.

It's as if everything that's been happening to Dan lately is leading up to this.

And all we can do is hang on for the ride.

Still, we have to wonder… what's going to happen to Dan next?

-(CUE DREAM SEQUENCE)-

For some strange reason, we're in a movie theatre now. As the people there wait for the movie to start, they watch the previews. ONE in particular gets everyone's attention…

[ Narration ]

Go Hibiki, the greatest fighter of his generation, was slain in battle by the Emperor of Muay Thai Sagat.
His young son witnessed his father's last moments, and thus vowed revenge…!

[ Dan ]

Though he never missed an opportunity to wound my self-esteem...he was still my father! I.. I shall avenge you, Dad!

[ Narration ]

Dan runs, to go save the world... And to avenge his father.

[ Sagat ]

Who the hell are you? A loser like you trying to stand up against ME, the Emperor!?

[ Narration ]

The encounter of a long-time rival... And the real enemy who no one foresaw.

[ Erick ]

Ah, it's the so-called "hero"! Long time no see, Dan.

[ Dan ]

Egads! I-It can't be! The foul sorcerer who wreaks chaos and disorder wherever his feet tread! ERICK! Shame on your misdeeds! In the
name of love and justice I, Dan Hibiki of Saikyo-ryuu, must PUNISH you!!

[ Narration ]

A man whose world was turned upside down by tragedy – and turned rightside up in triumph... his quest is far from over! Now, uncover
the evil ones' dark conspiracy, and bring peace back to the world, Dan Hibiki!

[ Dan ]

I... I can't lose no matter what... For the sake of those who have fallen! Check this out! The ultimate move that my Oyaji taught me!
For the sake of justice, love, and sorrow: SAIKYO-RYUU SUPER MODE!!

[ Narration ]

Based on a true story, it's the most anticipated martial arts movie of the year...

"STREET FIGHTER: Saikyo-ryuu Densetsu – Dan Strikes Back!"

A stunning tale of LOVE and... JUSTICE...

Coming to a theater near you this summer!

It seems that once again, someone tries to make a movie based on "Street Fighter", only this time it's (VERY loosely) based on Dan's autobiography.

And the part that REALLY baked EVERYBODY's noodles was that it won not one, but several awards, including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Musical Score, and Best Actor (for Dan, of course, as he played himself in the movie).

We see Dan at the Academy Awards in Hollywood. On stage, he receives his Oscar for Best Actor from two beautiful girls, and prepares to address the huge crowd. "Thank you." He clears his throat. "Thank you very much. Wow. What do you say to something like this? Hmm… Ooh! OK! I got it! Now, you can probably tell how happy and excited and downright surprised and just plain relieved I am now just by looking at me, but truth be told, I don't think ANYBODY (me included!) in here was expecting this. Tonight, man… wow… this is a dream come true for me, and I before I go any further, I'd like to thank my director and everybody involved that helped make THIS possible."

The audience delivers a brief round of applause for the cast and crew.

Dan continues, "Now when we started this project a few years years ago, most people's initial reaction was, "Oh no! Not ANOTHER live-action Street Fighter movie! What are you thinking!?" And after that LAST attempt, I can understand why. Going through the filming and production and all, it kinda reminded me of what it was like when I started my fighting career. All the obstacles, opposition, the jokes we faced, and just not having enough resources really to do what we wanted to do, to make it happen. But compared to that "other" Street Fighter movie, what we had going for us was a script that inspired mad love in everybody who read it. When I read the final script the boys handed me, even now, I'm amazed at how skillfully they were able to adapt my life's story to the big screen. Most of all, we had passion and we had belief and this movie shows that if you have those two things, truly… anything's possible. And if you're one of the few that haven't seen it, give THIS one a chance. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll cheer… you might even be inclined to yell "YAHOO" and wear a pink gi like me!"

Everybody in the audience sweatdrops at that; Dan notices this. "Err… well, maybe not, but…. Anyway… To the members of my fan club, thank you for showing your ol' buddy Dan some love and support." Then he looks up to the sky. "And Dad, if you're watching up there, thanks for everything!" He gets all teary-eyed as he does his famous win pose. "YATTA ZE, OYAJIIIII!!!" As he makes with the waterworks, Dan tearfully finishes his acceptance speech with, "Thank you, everybody! Thank you all so much!!"

As he basks in the applause and adulation and outpourings of love he's receiving, there's a nagging thought in the back of Dan's mind. In the midst of the celebrations, despite his achievements, he feels SOMETHING is missing....

"Good grief! THAT load of cinematic crap ACTUALLY won! Bad enough he wrote a book! What were those guys smoking when they filmed that? Must be some GOOD stuff – where can I get some?" someone yells out in the audience.

Ah, THAT voice! NOW, Dan remembers what that "something" was…

He can't believe his eyes – how did HE manage to find him all the way out HERE!? "HUH!? That long white hair… That stupid-ass face... YOU!? R! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO UPSTAGE ME IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY!?"

"You think I WANT to see your ugly face again?" R counters back. He stands up from his seat out in the audience. "Anyway, I dare because I'm sick of third-rate fighters like YOU being in the spotlight all the time, that's why!" he sharply replies. "Face it Dan; no matter what you do, you'll ALWAYS be a joke, a loser, AND a pervert. You're an embarrassment to the Art. And I'll make sure everybody knows it." To the audience, he says, "Anybody from the Academy in here? Good, because I don't know WHAT you guys were thinking, but do NOT give this clown the award!"

"Why you….! Go away and let me enjoy my moment of glory, R! GOSH!"

"Oh, quit your whining, you loser. I'm not going anywhere. Instead of fabricating all these fairy-tale, made-for-manga-and-anime stories, why don't you tell all these nice people in here the TRUTH for once?"

"Man… You got a big mouth R, you know that?"

"Well, why don't you come down here and close it, Dan?" R smirks at him, taunting him. "I would LOVE for you to actually try. Come on. Come on."

Turning cross, Dan responds, "Anytime."

A cute (and wonderfully-endowed) young actress (that, coincidentally, played the role of Mai Shiranui in Dan's movie) who'd become rather fond of Dan, tries to persuade him from accepting R's challenge. "This guy's crazy, Dan-kun. Don't listen to him."

R notices this. "Aww, the little man don't wanna come to me." Someone had tossed him a microphone; he takes it and then faces the audience. "OK, then I'll come to you people to lay out the truth. Listen up, everyone - I am a REAL fighter! A TRUE martial artist! That means I'M the strongest AND the best. But THIS chump's…" he points at Dan, "been taking the easy matches, fighting other chumps. And when he DID fight someone with real abilty, like Sagat, the "Emperor of Muay Thai", for example, he won purely by sheer dumb luck. Nothing more!"

"HEY!" Dan objects. "I'm not gonna listen to any more of this, R! Anytime you want...!"

"Ah ah, I'm not through," R waves a finger. "And besides, you don't know what I had to come from, what I've had to deal with to become what I am! I mean, look at YOU, with your so-called victories, your book, and this movie! Fronting in front of all these people like you're all that. And you have the absolute gall to call yourself a fighter? Prove it now, Dan. That is, IF you're man enough..."

Dan's REALLY trying hard not to let R get to him. This is HIS night, and there's NO WAY he's going to let this smart-mouthed, punk kid show him up.

R grins, savoring the moment, chuckling at Dan's attempts to stay cool under pressure. Calling out to the cute actress beside Dan, R smooth-talks, "Say, miss, since this old guy isn't doing it for you…."

"OLD GUY….!?" an insulted Dan shouts.

"… maybe you'd like to be with a real man, a true gentleman, perhaps? I tell you what; after the show's over, perhaps you and I could go out for dinner and dessert? My treat."

The pretty girl seems flattered by R's proposition; Dan, on the other hand, is furious! Losing his temper completely, he screams, "OK, THAT'S IT! The nerve of you!"

"The nerve of YOU!"

"SAY WHAT!?"

"Yeah, that's WHAT!" R smiles evilly at Dan.

"Grrrr….!" Dan grits his teeth, angry at R's attempts to embarrass him in front of everybody AGAIN, and on national television no less! Even now he can hear a few people in the audience murmering, wondering if Dan really deserved his award. From Dan's point of view, R's made it his mission, for whatever reason, to destroy Dan Hibiki one battle, one opportunity, one day at a time. Anything was possible. It couldn't have been over a girl, could it? Had he flirted with R's girlfriend, and was R the jealous lover seeking revenge? Naah, course not. Perhaps he'd been hired by one of Dan's many enemies…. yeeeah, right. Dan clenched his fists angrily. There had to be a reason, a rationale. All Dan had to do was keep looking, and he would surely find the reason that R was trying to make life miserable for him.

No. No. NO! This can't be! It's got to be a bad dream! No, it's a nightmare! What can I do? Then the light-bulb finally comes on for Dan – for once. OH YEAH! That's right! THIS is my chance! If I can defeat him here, this'll prove to everybody that I'm a true hero!

His confidence boosted (along with his ego), Dan declares to his hated foe, "That's where you're WRONG, R. You may have defeated me once before, but now, NOW's my chance to flip the script and change history! Here, in front of all these people, I'll show everyone the power of my Saikyo style AND crush you once and for all!"

R snorts, "Heh. YOU? Crush ME? In your dreams! Last time, I just beat you up in front of those pathetic jokers with NO lives whatsoever that you once called your fans. If you're in such a hurry to die, then c'mon." R motions with his oustretched right hand in a "come here / bring it" gesture. "I'll swat you like a fly, only THIS time it'll be televised, with live-action coverage! You'd better thank me for taking on a sorry chump like you! It's beneath me otherwise!"

"Oh, this'll be quick. Here I come! YAHOO!" Dan leaps from the stage and charges up through the audience to face R.

R casually goes down to meet him, cracking his knuckles. "I'm warning you; I'm not gonna just knock you down this time. I'm gonna put you through the floor!"

-(END DREAM SEQUENCE)-

-(CUE DREAM SEQUENCE; CHANGING LOCATIONS…)-

AUSTRAILIA…

(As seen in the opening scene of "Street Fighter 2: The Animated Movie" or, if you prefer,
the final Ryu VS. Sagat battle in Street Fighter Alpha 2)

We're in a grassy field, late at night, the wind whipping through the grass. A thunderstorm is brewing as two combatants face off…

But the fighters in question are NOT Ryu and Sagat.

On one side we can see the self-proclaimed master of Saikyo-ryu Dan Hibiki, his pink gi fluttering in the strong breeze. On the other side, roughly two-thirds the length of a football field away, is R, the wind blowing through his hair. Both warriors assume fighting stances, each one waiting for the other to make his move.

"Ah HA! So, the notorious super-villain and really mean person R finally shows his face before me! We meet again for the first time for the last time." Dan thinks about what he's just said. "…….Yeah."

"Ah geez, it's YOU again," R groans. "Don't you EVER give up?"

"NEVER!! I'm the man who will bring justice. And mark my words, R... THIS TIME you will not escape from my "Hands of Stone"! Prepare to face the awesome power of my Saikyo-ryu!!"

R shrugs, "...Tch! Oh well, I guess I got no choice then. Whenever you're ready, dude. I'll crush you."

Dan lets out a whoop of joy – at last, he gets his chance to fight R again! "YAHOO! I AM the warrior of love and justice, Dan Hibiki! Now, let's settle this fair and square!"

Suddenly, a flash of thunder and lightning ….!

KAKA-BOOOOOMM!!

And they charge!

"YAAAAAAAHHHH!!" Dan yells as he charges at R.

But R just sidesteps, and gives poor Dan a light jab across the chin.

WHAP!

"OH!" Dan cries out, then falls.

THUD!

Yep… you guessed it. Dan's out cold on the ground. And the fight's only just begun.

"Pfffh… "Hands of Stone"? Sh-yeah, right. More like "Jaw of Glass" to me." R then leaves his pathetic opponent behind.

Or he WOULD have, if Dan hadn't got up, rubbing his chin. "Oww… ! Grrr….that was a cheap shot R and you KNOW it! NOW it's time for me to get serious! Accept your defeat! You shall become a stepping stone to pave my path to GLORY!"

R shakes his head in disbelief, muttering, "Man, this guy just DOESN'T know when to quit. Looks I'm gonna have to do this the hard way."

As Dan charges again at R, R rushes to meet him head on. The two then trade punches and kicks. Dan's doing much better than in previous battles, but he's taking just as much damage as he's dishing out. R, with cool precision, meets Dan's offense with his own, pretty much canceling out most of Dan's strikes. But he's taken a few good hits, too.

However, despite his strength and abilities, Dan has some difficulty defeating his opponent. Channeling his Ki, he unleashes his built-up internal energy at his challenger. R evades the blow, but Dan knocks him down with a couple of kicks. Now that his foe is down, Dan attempts to finish R off. However, R counter-attacks with his technique the White Diamond Pearl; the kicking uppercut inflicts a severe wound on Dan. Enraged, Dan charges towards R. R gathers his internal energy and unleashes it in the form of an Active Red Pearl.

After about a quarter of an hour, they break away from each other, each giving the other some room to breathe. R wipes some blood off his lips. "Whoa-ho! Looks like somebody's been doing some training! You've improved just a little, I see."

A battered and bruised Dan, still standing, says, "Hmph. I accept your compliment, half-hearted though it might be. BUT that doesn't change the fact that you are a fiend and an enemy of love and justice who uses his powers to frighten innocent maidens!"

R blinks. "And what's up with that ridiculous dialogue coming out of your mouth, man? Have you been taking speech lessons from Kuno or what?"

"Or what? And WHO's Kuno? Anyway, R, today I make you pay for all you've put me through! And when I'm through, you'll recognize my power as a true warrior of love and justice!"

"Yeah, right." R snorts. "Enough with the "love and justice" crap. Let's just get this fight over with already."

"OOSHA!!" Dan rolls back and forth and jumps around all while doing his signature taunts.

R's getting annoyed with Dan's antics. "Quit showboating and fight me!"

"Ha HA! NOW, I'll show you the awesome-ness of my Saikyo-ryuu!" Dan shouts as he rolls toward R and does another taunt.

R lets out a bored yawn. He counters with his Sonic Silver Metallic attack as he lashes out with a kick. The force of the kick sends up a spiraling burst of air that blows Dan back a few yards.

"OOF!" Dan grunts as he hits the ground from that wind attack of R's.

"Hmph. That'll teach you," R says with a laugh.

But Dan's back on his feet! He goes for R using his Dankukyaku to fly toward him and (possibly) attack him simultaneously. "DAN DAN! HEY-YA!!"

In a repeat of their very first fight, R ducks low to the ground and Dan just sails right past him - again. He then turns around to face Dan once he lands. "Was that Saikyo? More like Sucky-o to me. Give up, Dan; you'll NEVER beat me."

"Grrr….!" That R really knows how to rub Dan the wrong way. Enraged, Dan does a 180 and charges right at R. "ARRRRRGH!!"

"Face it Dan. You SUCK. There's no shame in admitting it," R continues taunting him.

"That's it! That's the last straw! I've had it up to here with you, R! This is the LAST time you make fun of me!" Dan shouts as he throws several punches at R.

Unaware to Dan, he's playing right into R's hands. When he's all hot and bothered like this, Dan's giving off quite a bit of hot battle aura. This is just what R needs, for he has a technique in his arsenal that can end this fight. He begins to move in a spiraling pattern…

Dan just threw a spinning hook kick, which R ducks and then trips him up with a footsweep, knocking him off his feet. "ACK!" Dan says as he falls on his backside. Getting up, Dan recovers as R continues to move around in the spiral pattern.

"You know, it's been fun, but I got other people to beat up besides you. You ready to lose again?" R smiles at Dan.

His battle aura glowing in intensity, Dan says as if pronouncing a sentence, "I didn't wanna have to use this, but you've left me NO choice…! THIS IS THE END! SAIKYO-RYUU OUGI!! HISSHOU….!!"

And with that Dan attacks R with his Hisshou Buraiken (Certain Victory Relying on Nobody But Myself Fist), striking with a barrage of punches and kicks, all the while yelling "Ora-ora-ora-ora-ora-ora….!!"

Now THIS took R by surprise; Dan came at him so fast he didn't have enough time to defend himself. He's getting pummeled by Dan's furious assault. But R's smiling, because once Dan gets through, this battle's as good as over.

As Dan finishes up, he yells "….. BURAIKEN!!" at the end of his attack, leaping up and striking with a Kouryuken (Shiny Dragon Fist).

That's all it took. The Kouryuken hits cleanly, right into R's jaw.

POW!

….And it sends R up into the air, seemingly knocking him out. As he watches R's body fly away, Dan thinks, excited, I did it! I finally beat R! Saikyo-ryuu has prevailed!

Uhhh…. Not quite, Dan. For at the last possible second, R regains consciousness, does a mid-air somersault, lands on the ground, and says, "My final attack! STRATOSPHERIC BLAST! ROAR, GOLDEN PEARL!!"

R raises his fist, unleashing his own personalized take on Ranma's Hiryu Shoten Ha (Heaven Blast of the Dragon). The name "Golden Pearl" is appropriate, as a violent tornado of golden-yellow Ki (with streaks of purple, this narrator should add) bursts forth and flings Dan up into the sky!

FWOOOSHH!!

"OH NO!! NOT AGAINNNnnnnnn……!!" Dan wails in defeat as he's blown far, far away!

The force of R's new technique had blasted him so far into the sky that only a speck of light could be seen by anyone watching the battle from the ground.

"And don't come back!" R shouted to the sky.

As Dan's flying high in the friendly skies without a plane (thanks to a one-way ticket via R's Golden Pearl), hurtling through the air towards his inevitable destination...

The ground, he thinks with bitter resignation as sooner or later he'll make contact. He's anticipating a painful connection with the earth, wherever he lands.

When he lands.

IF he even lands at all.

I'll get you back R. Somehow! Dan thinks as he's soaring through the air against his will.

We see two guys camping out in the woods, one of them cooking some food over the campfire. It's rather quiet and peaceful out, until….

BOOM!

Something crash lands right out of nowhere in front of them! The first guy turns to his companion and says…

"Now there's something you don't see everyday, Chauncey."

"What's that, Edgar?"

"A man falling out of the sky."

"Oh, I don't know about all that, Edgar. Maybe he's into skydiving?"

"Without a parachute?"

"Oh."

When the smoke clears from the impact, we see Dan lying flat on his back. Slowly, he regains consciousness. As he's coming to, Dan groans, "Ugghh…. Man, this is getting old…" He examines himself. "Ooookay, let's see… Pride… wounded… Bones… broken… Breathing… labored…"

Then, he realizes something. "HEY!" He checks himself again. "Breathing….normal! Pulse… steady! Bones… not broken! Pride…. Well, three out of four ain't bad. But the bottom line is… I'm ALIVE! YAHOO! That landing technique I learned from those Team Rocket guys actually WORKED!! Hmm… yes, good technique, that it was… maybe even better than my old one… I've got it! I'll call it my Saikyo-ryu Tenka Otoshi (Saikyo Style Descending from Heaven Drop)! Now then…. To beat that blasted R! I'll take him to the cleaners! I'll thump him for sure! Oooh…."

His confidence renewed, Dan shouts, "JUST YOU WAIT, R! YOU'LL FALL BEFORE THE AWESOME POWER OF MY SAIKYO-RYU! YAHOO!!"

And with that, Dan dashes out of the forest, to continue his quest to defeat R.

Reaching an open field, he stands before a night-blue sky, looking all around him. Doing a 360 reveals nothing familiar; he's surrounded by nothing but trees and rocks, with mountains providing some background scenery. His facial expression changes to confusion. And he utters a phrase usually spoken by another Hibiki…

"Aw great, where on earth am I now?"

He wonders if this is still Japan; R's new tornado attack HAD sent him helluva far. Realizing that he's lost, Dan starts panicking. "WAAAAAAAHHH!! I wanna go home!"

But things start to look up for our pink-clad protagonist. A brief twinkling of light afar off in the distance catches Dan's eye. He turns in that direction. Hm? what was that? he wonders. Maybe if I go that way, I'll find civilization. Beats standing out here, that's for sure.

And so, Dan starts walking toward that light he saw. But wouldn't you know it, a storm is raging and it's pouring down rain. Continuing to walk, he'd found his way into a very deep, dark, foreboding, mossy, and generally unpleasant forest. "How do I manage this?" he asked of no one, since no one was around. Nobody answered him, of course. This didn't help him find his way back home, however.

Then he heard a low moaning behind him, and decided that a strategic withdrawal from the general area was in order.

Later on, we see Dan trudging alone through the rain and thunder in the forest. He forces his way through brambles and over slippery rocks. Progress is really hard. He pauses and at this moment we hear the howling of wolves. Dan turns, and then hurries onward even more urgently. Another louder, closer howl is heard and he stumbles and falls heavily. Though obviously injured from the beating R gave him earlier, he bravely struggles forward a little and regains his footing, reacting to the pain.

Hearing louder and closer howling, Dan gulps. Summoning what's left of his courage, he presses onward. As he glances around a flash of lightning reveals the silhouette of a huge, terrifying castle. Above it the lightning illuminates the ghostly shape of a glowing scroll. Is this the end of his quest? Has he found what he's seeking?

Dan reaches the forbidding and enormous doors of the castle and beats on the doors with his fists, looking over his shoulder the while. He stops waiting, pausing, waiting for a reply. He beats again, shouting, "HEY! Open the door! Open the door!! It's cold and wet out here! And I'm hungry too!! Please! Open the door...!!"

The door creaks open and Dan falls inside clumsily. Once inside, he wipes away the rain from his eyes, and turns as the door crashes behind him.

CRASHHH!

He turns back to the door reacting to the fact he's trapped. Looking around, he doesn't see anyone, but just then a heavenly voice greets him. "Hello. Who might you be, that has stumbled upon this place?"

Dan looks up and finds himself mesmerized by the cleavage that was suddenly right in front of him. A drop of blood immediately flowed from his nose, and he tears his eyes away from the cleavage and looks at the rest of the woman before him. It is Mai Shiranui (again!?) (or somebody who eerily resembles her, anyway) dressed in a rather conservative version of her regular outfit that somehow managed to cover *just* the right parts, while still revealing most everything else. He idly wondered how such a thing was possible. And was it just him, or did Mai cut her hair? He notices that she's wearing it short these days – a new hairstyle, perhaps? Behind her are about twenty more young, beautiful, scantily clad, and (this narrator adds) big-breasted girls. THIS Mai smiles enchantingly at him. He blinks. "...Mai?"

The Mai-lookalike asks, "Excuse me? It appears that you know someone who looks like me, but I am not this "Mai" person whom you speak of."

Dan's like, "Eeeee-yeah...right. Anyway, where am I?"

"You are in Anthrax-jo."

Dan blinks, confused. "Anthrax-jo? "Castle Anthrax"?"

The copy-Mai admits, "Oh, yes, it's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice and we will attend to your every ... every need!"

Dan, remembering what he'd seen outside the castle, decides to ask, "Are you are the keepers of the ultimate technique?"

She blinks. "The what-what?"

"You know, that thing that's glowing outside on top of your castle."

Dodging his question, "Mai" says, "Oh, but you are tired and you must rest awhile." Clapping her hands twice, she then calls, "Stunner? Lovely?"

Suddenly, two similarly clad women appear behind the faux-Mai. One has long brown hair tied back in a ponytail and the other has short lavender hair. Both are wearing white versions of Mai's regular outfit, exposing their….erm… "goodies", so to speak. "Yes, oh Zoot-sama?"

"Mai" (or is it Zoot, perhaps?) instructs, "Please prepare a bed for our guest."

Groveling with delight, they bow gratefully saying, "Oh thank you, Zoot, thank you, thank you!"

She shoos them off. "Away! Away, naughty girls!..." Turning her attention to Dan, she says, "The beds here are warm and soft and very, very big."

"Well, look, I ... I, ah ...," Dan stammers.

"What is your name, handsome warrior?"

"Errr…. Dan ... Dan Hibiki."

"Mine is Zoot. Just Zoot."

Dan blinks. "Zoot? A rather unusual nickname for a pretty lady like you, don't you think?"

"Mai" seems rather pleased by Dan's complement. She is very close to him for a moment. "Oh, but come." She turns away and leads him on a tour of the castle, all the while heading towards a door leading to the bedchamber.

"Okay, I appreciate you showing me around your castle and all, but I haven't got time now! I REALLY need that scroll you have, so if you'll just show it to me, I'll…!"

"Oh, you have suffered much! You are delirious!"

"NO! Look, look, I have seen it, it's here! Why don't you believe me? Is it ..."

"Now, Dan, you would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality?"

Dan looks at the other girls around him; they are clearly on the verge of being offended. Strangely, he feels rather uncomfortable under their gazes. "Well, I ... I, ah ..."

She moves off and Dan unwittingly follows. As they walk, she admits, "Oh, I'm afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between eighteen and twenty-nine-and-a-half, cut off in this castle, with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life ... bathing ... dressing... undressing... making exciting underwear..."

"*gulp*…E…exciting underwear!?" Dan reacts, and then follows further. They reach the end of the corridor and enter the bedchamber.

"Mai" turns to face him and says, "We are just not used to such handsome warriors around these parts ... No, no! Come, you may lie here." She notices him limping. "Oh, but you are wounded!

"No, no, it's nothing!"

"I will have a doctor see to you immediately." She claps to summon the nurse. Dan is about to object, but she insists, "No, no! Please. Lie down."

She almost forces him to lie on the bed as another girl enters the room. Now this girl's an equally enchanting young woman, with short reddish-pink hair and wears a tight-fitting nurse's uniform. Dan blushes at the sight. She approaches Dan. "Well, what seems to be the trouble?"

Dan, needless to say, is shocked. "SHE's a doctor?"

Evasively, "Mai" replies, "Ah, she has basic medical training, yes." He struggles, but she pushes him back down. "Oh, come, come. You must try to rest." To the nurse, she says, "Amazing, if you would practice your arts?" "Mai" then leaves Dan alone with the pretty nurse with the unusual nickname.

"Amazing, huh…?" Dan wonders aloud.

She nods, "That's what most of the girls around here call me. And now, let's get to know each other better while I take care of you. Try to relax," she says soothingly to Dan, caressing his face lovingly.

Dan squirms a bit, unused to being treated by a girl in this affectionate (and yet downright unprofessional) manner. "Are you SURE that's absolutely necessary?" he asks her.

"But I simply MUST examine you."

"ACK! Hey! There's nothing wrong with ... that."

Slightly irritated, Amazing says, "Please ... I AM a doctor, after all. Now this won't hurt a bit…."

Dan tries for a moment to relax. But as she closes in on his pants he jumps off the bed and starts collecting his things. "No, no, this can't be… Even if you ARE cute and incredibly sexy with perfect proportions, I… I am NOT a pervert!"

"Back to your bed! At once!"

"Oh, tempt me no longer! I have seen the scroll with the ultimate technique!"

"What are you talking about? There's no scroll here," Amazing says matter-of-factly.

"But I'm telling you I've seen it! I have seen it! I have seen ..." Dan hurries to the door and pushes through it. As he leaves the room we cut to the reverse to show that he is now in a room full of girlies, all innocent, wide-eyed and beautiful (and also in various states of undress too!). Several of them were trying on lingerie of some very provocative sorts, and a few were in the process of bathing, with the help of a few others. They stare at him smiling, looking him over. Somebody somewhere's playing a harp in the background.

All the girlies greet Dan in a rather friendly manner, "Hello."

"Oh!" Dan gasps. He nods to them stiffly once or twice as he greets them, "Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello…."

But the sight of all that female flesh causes poor Dan to stagger back, his nose gushing blood. "Errrrgh!" At this point he'd contemplated fainting, and then felt a gentle hand upon his shoulder. He turns and sees the same woman that had greeted him at the door, only now she's wearing her hair long again like a certain "bouncy" ninja gal who's shown up a lot in Dan's dreams used to. He visibly gulps with repressed emotion and cannot resist saying, "Zoot!"

"Silly Dan! I'M Mai! Around here, they call me "Dingo". You must have met my identical twin sister, Mii," she says.

Dan apologizes, "Oh ... well ... excuse me." Then, he finally realizes, "HEY! YOU have a twin sister!? And does Andy know about this?"

He pushes forth but she blocks his way. "But where are you going?"

"I seek the scroll with the Ultimate Technique! I have seen it - here in this castle!"

Very melodramatically, Mai goes, "Oh, no! Oh, no! Bad ... bad Mii!"

"What is it?"

"Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Mii! She has been setting alight to our beacon, which - I have just remembered - is scroll-shaped ... It's not the first time we've had this problem."

Dan can't believe it. "You mean to tell me it's NOT the real scroll!?"

"Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Mii ... Oh, she is a naughty person and she must pay the penalty......" Mai then turns to YOU, the reader (!), and says, "Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it, but now, we're glad. It's better than some of the previous scenes, I think."

"At least ours was written better," RED CAT Soldier #023 comments.

Bass snorts, "Hey, at least ours was committed. It wasn't just mindless fan service and panty shots."

The Old Man from Chapter 9 urges, "Get on with it."

Dr. Wily adds, "Yes, get on with it!

Now everybody yells, "YES, GET ON WITH IT!"

"Oh, I am SO enjoying this scene..." Mai says with delight.

The Author, wanting things to move forward, says, "Oh, get on with it!"

Mai sighs sadly, " ... Oh, wicked, wicked Mii... ...And here in Anthrax-jo, we have but one punishment for setting alight the scroll-shaped beacon. And since it was you who was tricked by our beacon, then it is only logical that you should be the one to distribute the punishment. You must tie her down on a bed – face down, bottoms up, of course... and spank her.

Excited, the girls cheer, "Oooh! A spanking! A spanking!"

"You must spank her well and after you have spanked her you may deal with her as you like and then ... spank me."

"And spank me!" Dynamite, a girl wearing an orange-and-white waitress' uniform, calls out.

Followed by another, a blond girl in a bunny suit, who says, "And me!"

"And me," a third says.

Mai nods, agreeing, "Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!"

With obvious joy and rapture in their voices, all the girls in the place are shouting, "A spanking! A spanking! There is going to be a spanking tonight!"

"And after the spanking ... the oral sex!"

"YAY! The oral sex! The oral sex!"

Dan considers it. "Well, I COULD stay a llittle bit longer…"

Delighted, Mai leads Dan to a nearby couch and they sit down together. On a tray beside them is a pair of champagne glasses. One of them has a small amount of sake sitting in the bottom; she refills that one for herself and pours a fresh glass for him. She curls up next to him, her body turned towards him in a relaxed but attentive posture. She opens up her outfit slightly, showing him lots of leg and just enough cleavage to be distracting. Dan gulps loudly at the sight and tries not to nosebleed in front of her.

She then takes his right hand and places it in her lap, tantalizingly close to the opening in her top. "Suppose I told you that you can have us," she says softly. "That you can love us all in whatever way your heart desires, and that we will all love you in return. What would you say to that, Dan?"

With trembling hands, Dan caresses Mai's breast through the silken garment and was rather pleased to feel a hardened nipple. With tears pouring down his face, he sobs, "Oh, you girls are so kind to a stranger like me! *Sniff,sniff…!!* Boo hoo hoo!" He hides his face in her bosom as she embraces him lovingly, comforting him.

At this moment there is a commotion behind them as Ryo Sakazaki (!) bursts into the chamber looking for a fight. He stands between Dan and the girls. "Dan!!"

Looking up, Dan dreamily says, "Oh ... hello ..."

"Quick!" Ryo, looking rather upset, forcefully tears Dan away from Mai. Mai looks like she is about to cuss, and poor Dan looks like he is about to cry.

"W-what?"

"You heard me! Quick! You've GOT to get out of here!"

"Why?"

"You are in great peril!"

"No he isn't!" Mai objects, taking Dan back and glomping his head into her VERY ample bosom.

"*Sigh*… This feels SO nice……!" Dan says with a goofy grin of joy on his face.

He threatens Mai, "Hey, hey! Back off psycho wench, or I'll Haoh Shoukou Ken ya! Besides, you're not Mai, anyway! The REAL Mai Shiranui's only got eyes for ONE guy – and wouldn't give THIS sad sack of a man (points to Dan) the time of day!"

"HEY! I'm right here, y'know!" a hurt Dan interjects.

"Oh, Ryoooo….", a VERY familiar short-haired blonde girl calls.

Ryo glances over at her, and gets the shock of his life when he realizes it's… "ACK!! KING!? What are YOU doing here!?"

Dan admits, "Well, at least THIS Mai's got a point."

"Come on, I'll cover your escape!"

"Look - I'm fine!"

"Oh Dan!" all the girls cry out.

Dan stands up to Ryo on their behalf. "No! Geez, Ryo, don't be such a party pooper! Look, I can take this bunch single-handed!"

"Yes, let him take us single-handed!"

"NO! Let's go, Dan!" Ryo starts pulling Dan away.

Dan pleads, "No, really, honestly, I can cope. I can handle them easily!"

"Oh please! Let him handle us easily," Mai intercedes.

"No, please! Please! I can defeat them! There's only like, what? A hundred and fifty of them?"

"Yes, yes! He will beat us easily! We haven't a chance."

Now the other girls all speak up, "We haven't a chance! We haven't a chance!!"

"Ah, geez, come on!! This might be the only chance I have to score!" Dan whines pathetically to Ryo.

"ARGH!! Enough already!!" Not even wanting to entertain the thought of leaving Dan alone with them, Ryo has to literally drag him away from these beguiling seductresses. Ever see a guy do 0-to-60 in under a minute, without a car? That's how fast they got out of Dodge.

The door slamming behind them, Dan and Ryo are LONG gone. Fustrated, Mai snaps, "Oh.... fudge!"

Now outside, a greatly relieved Ryo says, "Oh thank God I got there in time. You were in great peril."

Dragging his feet somewhat, Dan begs to differ. "I didn't think I was."

"Yes, you were! You were in terrible peril."

"Well, let me go back in there and face the peril!"

"NO! The peril is too perilous."

"But we're martial artists! It's our duty to face as much peril as we possibly can!"

"Nope. Besides, you've still got to find that ultimate technique, remember? Come on."

"Oh, can't I have just a LITTLE bit of peril?"

Ryo firmly says, "NO. It's just unhealthy."

They run off into the distance, FAR away from the castle. Sulking, Dan mutters, "Aww… you're NO fun at all, you know that?"

-(END DREAM SEQUENCE)-

For some odd reason we've now switched to a recording studio, the kind that's used by voice actors when they record their lines for an anime. On a large HD monitor is the scene of Dan being dragged away from the Castle Anthrax by Ryo. People are hard at work in the studio, monitoring the recording in progress.

Inside the sound booth, Bubbleman is reading some lines from a script. "And so, Ryo Sakazaki, Kyokugen-ryu's "Invincible Dragon", had saved Dan Hibiki from almost certain temptation. But Dan was still no nearer to finding the scroll with the "Ultimate Technique"…"

"Hey, Bubbleman", the Author asks. "What are you doing?"

"Oh! Well, seeing as I haven't been featured yet in these new episodes you've posted, I thought I'd step up to the plate and help narrate this part of the episode."

"That's great, but where's our regular narrator?"

"Well, last I saw him, he went into that castle with all those girls and…"

The Author looks like he's got a headache. He groans, "Oh boy, looks like we won't be hearing from HIM for a while. Ah well, since you're here, you might as well narrate the rest of this episode too."

"Cool! I'll do my best."

"And so, Bubbleman (that's ME by the way folks!), with the author's permission, is the acting narrator for the rest of this episode! This is going to be so much fun! Hmmm… I wonder if the Author, who's a really cool guy, would be nice enough to pay me whatever they pay the narrator for one episode's work."

"Sorry, Bubbleman, but you're NOT getting any money for this episode. You're working for free. Plus, since the narrator's not around, that's one less paycheck we have to write," the Author says.

"What!? Awww….!"

-(CUE DREAM SEQUENCE)-

We're now inside a modern psychiatrist's office somewhere in downtown Tokyo. Dan is lying on the couch, involved in a therapy session with the local shrink.

Since the sesson's started, all Dan's done is complain to the head-shrinker that he's such a pathetic loser, that no girl could ever fall in love with him, and how disgustingly lonely he thinks he is. He laments that no matter what he does, everywhere he goes people treat him like a joke. He then tells the doctor about his rise to fame and power, including how he'd defeated the Emperor of Muay Thai Sagat. He then talks about the friends he's made along the way, his dojos, and the book he wrote. And then he tells him about how everything just went so wrong after the day he opened his new dojo. Finally, he blames all his current problems on someone named R.

After listening to Dan whine and bitch about his troubles for about a good half-hour, the psychiatrist, a short, thin man in his early-to-mid forties with reddish-brown hair and a face that reminds Dan of a monkey's, just says, "Well, Mr. Hibiki, now that you've… gotten some things off your chest, so to speak ...I'd like to ask you a question, just to get a conversation going. What is it you really want to be?"

Dan's response is, "I wanna be a great martial artist like my daddy!"

"Oh? And why DO you want to be a martial artist?"

An unusual question, but Dan answers anyway, "Ooh ... why does anyone want to be a martial artist? Fame, money, glamour, action, adventure, excitement, sex!"

"Ah HA! It's the sex, isn't it?" the psychiatrist asks interestedly.

Dan admits, "Well, that's one of the things, yeah."

"Yes, what's the sex problem?"

"Wh-what? There's no problem!"

"Now, come on, come on. You've got the girl on the bed and she's all ready for it!"

"No, no! It's nothing to do with that."

The psychiatrist's getting REALLY excited now. "Now come on, come on, there she is, she's all ready for it! She's a real stunner, fresh off a Juicy Honey photo shoot! She's got great big tits, she's really, REALLY stacked and you've got her legs up against the mantelpiece..."

"All right, Mr. Nomura, I'll take over." A distinguished-looking man in a suit enters; the psychiatrist leaves. "Good morning, Mr. Hibiki. My name's Tsuchiya. Sorry to keep you waiting. Now what seems to be the problem?"

Dan tells him, "Well, I was telling the other psychiatrist ..."

Dr. Tsuchiya sweatdrops. "He's ... he's not a psychiatrist."

"Huh? But he said he WAS a psychiatrist."

"Well ... yes ... um, he's a kind of psychiatrist. He's ... he's not a proper psychiatrist. He's not er, um ... fully qualified ... in, um, quite the sort of way we should want. Anyway, the problem, I believe, is basically sexual in nature isn't it?"

Nomura puts his head round the door on hearing this. "I asked him that!"

"Get out!" Dr. Tsuchiya snaps at him. Once he's gone, the doctor turns his attention to his patient. "Now then, you've got the girl on the bed. You've been having a bit of a feel up during the evening. You've got your tongue down her throat. She's got both her legs up on the mantelpiece..."

Enter a distinguished-looking psychiatrist in a white coat. Quietly and authoritatively, he indicates the door. "Dr. Tsuchiya... out please!"

"But I'm talking with a patient! Oh ...!" Tsuchiya goes.

"Out please!" He then apologizes to Dan. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. We've had a lot of problems lately with bogus psychiatrists. One of the risks in our profession, I'm afraid. Unfortunately, they do tend to frighten the patient and they can cause real and permanent damage with regards to the treatment. But I assure you that I am a completely 100% bona-fide psychiatrist, with all the credentials to prove it. Here's my diploma in psychiatry from the University of Tokyo. This here shows that I'm a member of the All-Japan Psychiatric Association, a very important body indeed. Here's a letter from another psychiatrist in which he mentions that I'm a psychiatrist. This is my Psychiatric Club tie, and as you can see the cufflinks match. I've got a copy of "Psychiatry Today" in my bag, which I think is pretty convincing. And a letter here from my mother in which she asks how the psychiatry is going, and I think you'll realize that the one person you can't fool is your mother. So if you'd like to ask me any questions about psychiatry, I'll bet you I can answer them. So let's keep going, OK?"

"No, no, it's all right, really…."

Picking up where the last two psychiatrists left off, this one continues, "OK, you've got this girl on your bed, you've had a few drinks, and you've got her stretched out and her feet on the mantelpiece..."

It was then that the intercom buzzed…

BZZZ!

And he answers, "…yes? What is it?"

The voice on the other end of the intercom replies, "There's a proper psychiatrist to see you, Dr. Orido."

"Oh, oh my God! It completely slipped my mind! OK, thank you." Dr. Orido hurriedly changes into a race car driver's suit. "Right, thank you very much for answering the questions, sir. We'll try not to trouble you again." He exits hurriedly. Next thing Dan hears is the sound of screeching tires outside the buidling.

A fourth psychiatrist rushes in, taking up where Orido left off. "Right, now you've got the girl down on the bed, you've got her legs up on the mantelpiece…"

Two men in white coats enter, bundle him up in a straitjacket, and forcibly escort him out. Then Dr. Tsuchiya returns. "Congratulations, Mr. Hibiki. You've done extremely well in our disorientation tests."

Dan blinks. "Oh? Oh!"

Dr. Tsuchiya explains, "Yes. You see, I apologize if it might have confused you a little, but we do this to try to establish a very good doctor/patient relationship, you see ... we do it to sort of break down the barriers. All right?"

"Uh…OK, fine."

"Good! Well, you've got her legs up on the mantelpiece..."

The guys in white coats come in and chase Tsuchiya out.

= WE INTERRUPT THIS DREAM SEQUENCE FOR AN IMPORTANT PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT. =

An important-looking man sits behind a desk in an office. The caption on-screen indicates that he is the chairman of the All-Japan Psychiatric Association.

The chairman politely ahem's, then says, "On behalf of the Psychiatric Association, I should like to say that we are taking firm action to clamp down on the activities of bogus psychiatrists. In fact, in many areas of modern psychiatry, computers are now being increasingly used for the first basic diagnosis and this has gone a long way in eliminating the danger of unqualified impostors."

We then switch back to the psychiatrist's office, where Dan is lying on the couch. On the desk beside him is an impressive-looking computer.

In a digitized voice, the computer says, "You've had your tongue down her throat and she's got her legs on the mantelpiece…"

The door opens and Amazing, the lovely nurse from Castle Anthrax appears. "Out!" she orders. The computer (and the desk it sits on) scuttles for the door, revealing that underneath it are three pairs of legs, in pin-striped trousers and expensive shoes.

Later, we see the same computer and desk out in a field. Amazing picks up a bazooka. The computer desk rises into the air; she fires at it, and it explodes….

Anyway…

Back to reality now (at least in this dream, anyway), Dr. Tsuchiya says, "You still instist that you're a martial artist trying to recover his lost fame and glory, Mr. Hibiki. At what point did you feel you needed a bit more spice, a little more excitement in your life?"

"What's that supposed to mean doc?" Dan asks. "All I ever wanted was to be the greatest Street Fighter in the world. Oh, and a nice house in the suburbs, a wife (or two, or maybe even three!), a kid, and a dog. That's all."

"OK, Mr. Hibiki, Let's go back to your childhood. Tell me about your father. How did you feel about him? Did you hate him?"

"On the contrary, I was very fond of my dad. I mean, sure, he'd take jabs at my long-wounded self-esteem and ridicule my efforts to meet girls, but he was a great guy. We had a lot in common. Martial arts, karaoke, and when I was old enough, women!"

"And what about your mother, hm? How did you feel about her?"

Dan explodes, "WHAT ABOUT MY MOTHER!? My mother was a saint! A SAINT, I tell you! A paragon of womanhood! The finest representation of her gender!" Then he calms down, sighing, "*sigh*.... If only I could meet a nice girl like that, y'know, with those kind of qualities - kindness, warmth, a great set of assets..."

Oh, dear, a martial artist with father issues and a pseudo-Oedipus complex, Dr. Tsuchiya sweatdrops as he thinks. Clearing his throat, he continues, "Err… right. Now, Mr. Hibiki, would you mind looking at these inkblots and tell me exactly what comes into your mind, the first thing that comes to mind."

His first impression upon being handed the Rorschach inkblots by the doctor is, "You need a new pen, doc."

That gets a chuckle out of the doctor. "Heh heh, very good, very good. No no no, I mean, just look at them and the first thing that comes into your mind, just talk about that, OK?"

Dan looks at the first inkblot. "Wow, that's a pretty girl."

"That's good, that's good," the doctor nods. He instructs Dan to look at the next one.

"That's... that's a guy and a hot girl hugging."

"Really? Next, please."

"And this one's two girls and a guy... OMG, is that a can of whipped cream?...uh, say, doc, could I BUY a set of these?"

Exasperated, the psychiatrist goes, "Ahh...! Mr. Hibiki! It seems to me you think that these pictures are all about women!"

"Well, YOU're the one showing me all the ecchi and fanservice! GOSH!"

Realizing that this sesson's getting nowhere, Dr. Tsuchiya wraps up. "*sigh*... Thank you Mr Hibiki, that'll be enough for today."

-(END DREAM SEQUENCE)-

At three in the morning, Dan wakes up shaking and sweating and remembering, echoes of the dreams he's had so far rattling around in his head. His eyes were wide open and his mind was crawling around old stuff, bad stuff, fights won and lost… It was funny how tired he could be, limbs leaden and slow and blood so thick and sluggish that it felt like his heart couldn't even pump the stuff. But still he was wide awake, his gaze skimming the darkness like a mosquito hunting for fresh blood in the middle of the night.

Waking up (again), Dan's left with many worries. The hair on his back stands on end. His danger sense goes up. Someone's here. He's not by himself…

So he tries to go back to sleep, but he can't. Later on, he hears a strange tapping, as if someone's gently rapping on his door…

Whoops, a little Edgar Allan Poe there, sorry. Anyway, looking all around, Dan sees nothing; suddenly, something (or someone!) appears before him….!

But it's just the ghost of his late father again. "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzup!!" Go Hibiki says, greeting his boy as only he can.

"ACK!!" Dan's so startled by his father's reappearance that he almost fell out his bed. "Oyaji! Not YOU again!"

"Yep. Told you I'd be back. Now, where were we?"

"Well, BEFORE you ditched me, you were at the part where you told me that my path to becoming a great martial artist was near."

"Huh?" Go blinks. "Did I actually say that out loud?"

"ARRRGH!" Dan facefaults. "Don't tell me you FORGOT!?"

"Ahhh…. Yeah, that. Thanks for remindin' me boy. Anyway, I saw your last fight with your so-called "rival", and once again, you blew it!" Dan lowers his head in shame, knowing his father's right. "Now tell me exactly WHY I should help you if all you are going to do is screw up?"

"I'll get R the next time," Dan says in defense. "Soon, HE'LL be the one begging for mercy at my feet the next time we battle!"

Go begs to differ. "You've said that the last couple of times you fought him! And, what happens? He gives you such a whooping!"

"I MEAN IT!!" Dan shouts, clenching his fists. "SURELY, you've seen how close I was last time! It was the closest I've gotten thus far!"

"Feh. Yeah, right, if by "closest" you mean you lasted more than five seconds against him, then, yeah, I'd agree with you. Dan, m'boy? Heart to heart a moment, okay?" Go suggests, dragging Dan off to the side by his ear. "Do you really have that much of a hard on for getting your rear end handed to you on a silver platter again?"

"I don't care! I have to do SOMETHING, Oyaji!" Dan pleads earnestly. "R has to be stopped! He's evil! He's worse than evil, he's... he's EVIL in all capital letters! Now help me, my father! Help me in my hour of need!"

Geeez… what a drama queen! "Nope," Go refuses. "Listen to me, boy. You're not going to achieve anything this way. If--"

"BUT HE…."

"Let me finish, thank you," Go warns. "I'm educating your dense ass here. If you want to take on an opponent who's stronger than you, you don't rush at them screaming and punching. No. You use your head to devise and employ tactics to out-smart them; THEN, when they leave an opening, you rush at them screaming and punching! It's mind over muscle. Got that?"

Dan nods, understanding. "Yeah, OK, so what you're saying is I need a strategy?"

"Bingo, but there's more to it than that. Look... you're a bright kid, Dan. Well… sometimes, anyway. You'll figure out something. But if you want that path to martial arts superiority to open up for, you gotta do the legwork yourself, okay? I can only show you the door. You're the one that's gotta walk through it."

Now finished, Go continues, "Still, I gotta admit though, I DO have one regret. Back when I was your age, boy, I used to play in a band. And I'd thought that one day I'd like to be a musician, go on tour, and maybe get jiggy with the female groupies, y'know. Ah, if I'd only beaten Sagat, I would have not only made a reputation for myself as a fighter, it would allow me to finally pursue my musical aspirations as well."

"Wow… gee, Dad, I'm sorry. I never knew."

"You never asked. But it's just as well. If Sagat hadn't killed me, I would have gone on to greatness. I would have led the world's first martial arts polka band!"

Dan can't believe what's he's just heard. "Wh-WHAT!?

"C'mon in guys!"

Five more ghosts enter the room, all dressed like Go, wearing green karate gi and red tengu masks. Each has a musical instrument in their hands: a clarinet, a saxophone, an electric guitar, a tuba, and a bass drum, respectively. Go then picks up his accordion and says, "And now, we'd like to do our rendition of "Superfreak". OK, guys! And a one and a two and a three and a four!"

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Try to imagine Rick James' "Superfreak" (or MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This", if you prefer) played polka-style. Need we say more?]

Watching in horror, Dan puts his hands to each side of his face and screams like the kid from "Home Alone". "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

-(END DREAM SEQUENCE)-

Dan wakes up! "AAAAAAHHHHHH…!! OH! Oh…it was only another dream!"

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Someone at my door at this hour? Who could it be? "Come in!"

The door opens and in walks Mai Shiranui! "MAI! Wh-what are you doing here?" Dan asks.

"I heard there was trouble here, so I came to investigate," she replies.

"No, really! What are YOU doing here?"

"Silly Dan! You're still dreaming, aren't you?"

Dan blinks. "I am?" He then pinches himself; he doesn't feel a thing. "Yep, still dreaming." To Mai, he says, "Say, uh, Mai…since you're here anyway… you got a moment?"

"Uh…all right. What is it?"

He blushes a bit - being in the presence of the girl of his fantasies tends to do that to a guy, you know. "Well, there's something I've always wanted to ask you that's always been very difficult for me to say. But it's kinda embarrassing to say it out loud."

Ready for him in case he'd try anything funny like the last time they'd met, Mai carefully approaches Dan. He then whispers something in her ear. She's surprised at what she hears. At first. Then her eyes go wide when Dan tells her the rest of it. She reacts. "Wh-what? Now!?"

Dan whispers something else to her.

"Why?"

More whispering, to which she responsds, "You really ARE a pervert, you know that?"

Then, Dan whispers one last thing. Mai gives up, sighing, "Oh…what the hey. It's YOUR dream, anyway."

To his surprise and utter amazement, Mai starts doing jumping jacks in front of Dan! Watching "them" bounce up and down, Dan is totally mesmerized! "Oh, Mai…"

He is interrupted when Andy Bogard bursts in! "Mai!"

As she bounces up and down, Mai cheerfully says, "Oh, hi Andy!!"

He too, is mesmerized. "Uh………….!" But Andy quickly snaps out of it. "No, NO! Cut that out!" Then he looks over in Dan's direction. "Grr….! Shame on you, taking advantage of Mai like this!

Dan's like, "HEY! All this time you've been acting like you don't like her, and now this?"

Excited, Mai lets out a whoop of joy, "OH ANDY! You DO care!" and promptly glomps him in a mad embrace.

Andy struggles in Mai's iron glomp. "ACK! Mai, please!"

Watching the happy couple, Dan sighs, "Oh, well… Now that you're done getting back together, can I please go back to my dream now?"

Andy stops him. "Not so fast, you! I'd read your book, especially the part where you touched…well, you know. And I came here to make you pay! So Dan Hibiki, prepare yourself! If you want Mai that badly, you'll have to go through ME first!" With that, he lunges toward Dan with his Zan-ei Ken (Phantom Slash Fist).

Mai is touched. "Oh, Andy…."

Dan sidesteps it. He rolls his eyes, muttering, "Geez… of all the times he finally decides to get over his commitment issues and stand up for her, why NOW….?" He then blocks the punch Andy throws next and gets into his own fighting stance. It looks like he's going to be here for a while...

Andy throws a Hishoken (Soaring Fist) projectile, which Dan deflects with his Gadouken. They then trade blows, punches and kicks being thrown all over the place. Dan goes for a Koryuken, but gets smacked by Andy's Shouryuudan (Rising Dragon Bullet). Ouch!

Fortunately for those few people who are rooting for our pink-clad progtagonist, Dan recovers in mid-air, and as he falls, he rolls backwards, away from Andy. But Andy goes for his Kuuha Dan (Sky-Ripping Shot) kick, timing it just right so that the moment Dan finshes rolling…

THUMP!

Yep, you guessed it; Dan gets a pair of flying feet into his face.

"OOF! WAAAAHHHHhhh…..!!" Dan wails, tasting defeat yet again….

And now he's back in Hollywood, accepting his award. How'd he get from his room above the dojo back here?

But just to be sure, he does a quick scan of the audience; there's no sign of R. Relieved, he continues his acceptance speech as if nothing's happened. "Whoops. Sorry about that everybody," he apologizes. "Spaced out there for a moment. Being up here for the first time tends to do that, y'know?....*ahem*…. Well, as I was saying, I'd like to thank my director, the cast and crew, my fan club, and last but not least, my Oyaji, who've would been thrilled to see this… after he'd try to wound my healed-up self-esteem, that is… ah, well… Thanks, and good night everybody!!"

Dan basks in the applause and adulation and outpourings of love he's finally receiving.

After the awards ceremony, with his beautiful co-star acompaniying him, he walks out into the crowd, signs autographs, takes pictures with fans and fellow celebrities alike, and basically has himself a good ol' time celerbrating his cinematic victory. Sure, it's not the same as smacking down Sagat or (one day!) R, but he's happy anyway.

In the midst of the fame and flashing lights, everything goes white…

And he wakes up at home.

Not his current home, mind you, but the place he used to own before all his stuff got repossessed.

And beside him in his bed is someone curled up under the covers. Thinking it's Mai who's asleep beside him, Dan turns in the direction of the sleeping figure.

Since it's just the two of them (and nobody else, thank goodness!), Dan confesses, "Mai, I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see that Andy Bogard for the last time and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it."

He gets no response. "I'm kinda glad you're asleep right now, because there's something I wanted to say that's always been very difficult for me to say. Well… the truth is Mai, I… I love you. Or at least, I like you a lot. There. I've never been relaxed enough around you to say that. And I'm sorry about those things I said in my book about you. What really happened that day was an accident, and while it felt good to touch you… well, you know… everything just kinda got way out of proportion from there. I know you really dig that Andy guy, but I hope you could forgive me, and maybe we could at least be friends. Maybe even "with benefits", but I know I'm asking for too much here. Ah well…"

He pats the curled-up figure on the bottom, which in turn, awakens from its slumber.

Unfortunately, instead of Mai, it's R.

Dan's eyes bug out and he turns white as a sheet.

R looks back at him with murder in his eyes.

Their reaction is simultaneous. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH……….!!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH……….!!" Dan screams, waking up so suddenly that he falls out of his bed.

After coming to, he comtemplates the dream he just had. "Man…now THAT was SCARY."

"Here. Have a glass of water." a voice from above him says, handing him (duh!) a glass of water.

Dan accepts it. "Oh, thanks. I…I need some of th—YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" He looks up, shocked to see the ghost of his father standing over him.

Go Hibiki flinches, covering his ears from his son's screaming. "Geez, boy, what's up with the spontaneous shouting? There's medication for that, you know …" he suggests. Then he asks, "Aw, what's the matter now?"

"Oh… oh, Dad, I… I had a bad dream… Actually, I've had several bad dreams. Well, they weren't ALL bad…" Dan thinks about those girls from Castle Anthrax (especially the twin Mai's) from one of his earlier dreams and starts to drool.

Go covers his face with his left hand and shakes it in resignation. His boy is a pervert. But then again, isn't this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black?

"HEY! Nobody asked for YOUR input!" Go scolds the narrator. After a couple of minutes, he stops shaking his head, and then he pulls Dan up to his feet and smacks him across the face a few times.

SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!" Dan yee-ouches in pain.

After he's done slapping some sense into him, Go comments, "Good grief, you're pathetic, you know that? Don't you remember what I used to tell you when you were little – bad dreams are only dreams. Nothing more. Feel better now?"

Dan groans. With little dizzy swirls in his eyes, he nods dizzly, "No, I don't wanna go to school today, Oyaji. All the other kids make fun of me…."

Hmm… maybe those last few slaps were a bit too much… Go thinks. He picks up his semi-conscious son and helps him into the bath. "C'mon boy, up you go, into the shower. Just stand under that for a while. That'll help you clear your head. Then we'll talk, OK?"

Once Dan's inside, he takes off his boxers, stumbles into the shower stall…

And accidentally turns on the cold water.

"AHH! OH! OH! OH-HO! C-COLD!!" Dan yelps. That cold water woke him right up real quick. He turns on the hot water instead, and relaxes, letting the water wash away all he's seen and imagined in his dreams tonight.

Oh, thank God it's over, Dan thinks.

Not a chance, Dan. You're still dreaming aren't you?

Suddenly, a shadowy figure appeared outside of his shower, seemingly brandishing a knife-like weapon in its hands. The high-pitched violin sound effect ala the movie 'Psycho' begins to play.

EEK-EEK-EEK-EEK!

"What the…!?" Dan says as he quickly opens the curtains to his shower to see who was behind it.

It was R. Again. "ACK! R! What are you doing in my bathroom!?" Dan questioned angrily.

Before he gets an answer, R attacks him violently with his Silver Metallic rapid-punch attack, raining razor-sharp blows of hurt on him. In such tight quarters (it IS a shower stall after all), under a relentless assault, unable to mount a counterattack, Dan gets the snot beat out of him all while the shower's on. While he's getting beat down, he slips on a bar of soap he'd dropped earlier and falls backwards inside the shower with a…

CRASH!

Blood and soapy water flow down the shower drain. When it's all over, Dan's a bloody, bruised mess, slumped over unconscious in the corner of the shower.

Trimuphant, R hmph's, "THAT's for that last dream sequence you had. Next time, leave me out of your trippy dreams, you sick freak!"

It was ridiculous. Dan Hibiki, master of Saikyo-ryuu, beaten? And not in honorable combat either, but in a cowardly ambush; on top of that, punked in his own shower, even.

It must have been some mistake. Some sort of dream. A waking nightmare. Nobody could move THAT fast...strike with such force and accuracy. All his ability and skill was as nothing compared to R's. Could this challenger be...some sort of martial arts god?

...No, it couldn't be. It was utterly impossible. It was outrageous! A nightmare! A horrible, horrible...

Indeed, Dan was in the grip of a nightmare, twitching, tossing and turning around in him bed, groaning in mental pain, until he awoke shouting, "Nightmare!" He'd awoken so suddenly that he almost falls out his bed… again.

Dan lets out a long sigh of relief. It WAS just a dream after all. He frowned for a moment – some parts of it weren't THAT bad, like being with Mai, all those girls from Castle Anthrax, and (believe it or not) seeing his father again.

Still, he wonders what exactly the point of the dream was, the dreams within dreams he'd been having tonight? What message did they convey? Sure, his Oyaji hinted that his path to becoming a great martial artist would draw near – but he didn't say how or when it would happen.

And then there was the therapy session he'd had with Dr. Tsuchiya (who may or may not have been a psychiatrist at all) during the "bogus psychiatrists" part of his dream. Dan vaguly remembered the things he's confessed to the doctor, his desire to be the greatest Street Fighter in the world, for a wife (or two, or maybe even three!), a kid, and a dog. Which maybe meant (aside from the more than one wife thing) that perhaps one day, perhaps after achieving his aforementioned goal of martial arts supremacy, Dan might want to be married and start a family of his own.

But that's NOT gonna happen because…

"OK, OK, I get it. I get it now," Dan comprehends. "I mean, it's not like I WANT to be a bachelor for the rest of my life! And yeah, sure, I'm lonely! I want to be popular! I want the girls to scream my name in adulation and delight, not fear and repulsion! I want to be respected as a martial artist! But it seems like no matter what I do, people think I'm a joke… Unless I can put it all on THAT guy… the one who beat me in front of all my fans… that damn R! YES! HE's the reason I'm so disgustingly lonely... for my bachelor status, my single-ness... why the women reject me... why it seems every man, woman, and child laughs at my very existence... And if I can't defeat him and prove to everybody that I really AM a true martial artist, then... WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH MEeeeeeee....!!"

"You know…. I've been wondering about THAT for years…," a familiar male voice says.

Dan turns around to see the spirit of his father standing before him again, still rocking the "Force Ghost" shtick, all blue and transparent-like, the glowing halo over his head and tengu-mask permanently attached to his face still present.

Go Hibiki continues, "I mean, I could have had any girl in the world. Got no pleasure from them nor expected any. And in my pursuit of the opposite sex, I've only had two losses after a gluttonous testing period. The rest of them I could have turned in any direction I chose." He chuckles softly, remembering his wife, "Heh…. But I ended up deciding on your mother, because not only did she have a great set of assets but she had personality and a good heart to go along with 'em. And then one simple little sprawl in the park under a full moon produced, well…. YOU. So if you can come up with a better answer to that one, let me know."

Dan groans, "Aw, man, it's just you again, Oyaji. Come to bruise my long-wounded self-esteem again, ridiculing what little dignity I have left? Or, dare I hope, you've ACTUALLY come back to help me this time? No, wait, what am I saying? You're here to do both, right?"

Go laughs, "Heeey… give the kid a cookie. He gets it right. For once. You thought I was here just so I could fix your problems for you? Ohhhh no, not even close, boy. It hasn't occured to you yet that the answer just MIGHT be closer than you think?"

"There you go being all vague and mysterious again," Dan complains. "Just tell me what I need to do so you'll stop haunting me."

"All-righty then. Tonight, Dan, you'll be visited by three spirits. Listen to them. Do what they say, and…" Go corrects himself. "Whoops, sorry, that's Dickens. Wrong story. My bad."

Dan facefaults, groaning, "Oh, get on with it already! GOSH!"

Go accepts that. "OK. Right. Well, let's take stock of your life right now, boy. You've been dealt a series of bad breaks, you're a thirty-something, unemployed wash-out with no game whatsoever when it comes to the girlies. You never kept in touch with your mother since Sagat killed me, you're virtually friendless, STILL dateless, and (aside from avenging my death) you haven't acquired a single thing of real value in your life lately. I think that pretty much covers it."

"Oh, man…." Dan groans, holding his head in his hands. It seems reality has finally (FINALLY!? It sure took him long enough!) dawned on him.

Go snorts, "Yeeeah, thought so. Well, while you're getting a clue, I'm gonna raid your fridge for a beer."

He goes to Dan's refridgerator and scores himself a can of Asahi Dry; cracking it open, he tosses it back, chugging the whole can in one long gulp. Refreshed, he breathes, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…. That was good. Haven't done that in a LONG while."

And NOW he turns his attention to Dan. "Weeell…. it's like that old catch-phrase: admitting you've got a problem is the first step toward being cured. Or something like that, I don't know exactly how it goes," Go says. "Here's the deal: You made some mistakes, mistakes that you're currently paying for… and some you're gonna probably pay for later. And while you're on your way to becoming a great martial artist, now you have the opportunity to make things right. I'd suggest by starting with that ninja-girl you're always drooling over. Did you ever stop to think how putting that little blurb, how you stretched the truth about your encounter with her in your so-called autobiography might affect HER reputation? Oh no, wait, that's right, of COURSE you didn't you little creep!"

Dan shrinks under his father's scolding – he knows his Oyaji's got him cold on that one.

"As for your skill in the Art, now THERE's something you can fix. Training alone won't be enough this time. Now you need to perfect your techniques. OK, sure, your skills may have been enough to beat down Sagat, but as you can probably already tell from your last few fights, the tricks you've used before aren't working now – epecially against the opponents you've tangled with. So I'm thinking you need to add some new moves to your repertoire. How you do THAT is up to you."

Dan thinks about that. Maybe that's why he's been unable to defeat R. Perhaps it's time to take Saikyo-ryu to a new level. He nods his understanding. "OK, I can do that. Is there anything else I need to know?"

Go replies, "Nope. That's it."

"WHAT!? That's all I get?"

"Well, I can't just TELL you EVERYTHING can I? Besides, this espiode's WAY too long. If I told you about ALL the stuff that's coming your way, we'd be here a while. And the author's been wracking his brain trying to get this thing posted for the longest time now. And if I TRIED explaining it to you any further, you'd probably give me the ol' 'dazed and confused' look, like someone's who's been shot in the head and slammed in the bum."

Dan looks at his father, with the aforementioned 'dazed and confused' look.

Go notices this, and comments, "Yeah. Like that," shaking his head. Sighing now, his tone becomes an odd combination of sympathy and annoyance. "I worry about you, boy. Let's face it, Dan, you're a loser. You always were a loser. You always will be a loser, until you take control. You managed to do that once, and you beat down Sagat. Now don't get me wrong; I'm eternally grateful to you for taking down that big goon and avenging me. But this business between you and that dog-eared kid, oh no, that's YOUR mess. Now you know what you have to do. Be strong, my son, and just DO IT, OK?" Having finished, he smiles and says, "Well, it's been good talking with you, boy."

Dan notices his father's becoming more and more transparent, as if he's…. "Will I..." he clears his throat and suddenly discovers that, for all the craiziness that's been happening tonight, he didn't want his father to leave. "Will I be seeing you again?"

"Probably not, son," Go admits.

"I'll . . . I'll miss you, Oyaji."

Go chuckles heartily, "Sh-yeah right, not as much as you think. With all those girlies out there?" He chucks a thumb behind himself, pointing out to the city behind him, possibly even to the world. "Not a chance! Gambatte ne*, Dan!"

[*Gambatte ne = Do your best]

With that, the ghost of Go Hibiki fades away.

Or so Dan thought. Unaware that his father's reappeared behind him, armed with a huge megaphone. Go sneaks up right next to him, squeezes the trigger, and yells real loud into his ear….

"WAAAAAAAAKE UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP…!!"

-(END DREAM SEQUENCE)-

Dan wakes up, this time for real! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

BONK! CRASH!

"Owww… Hey, what's this?" Dan picks up a scroll. "A scroll? Hmm… looks pretty old. I wonder what it is…." Then, he notices something attached to the scroll. "Hey! There's a note on here, looks like it's from Dad…

To my son Dan:

If you're reading this now, it means I'm dead and you're still "hopeless, dateless, and downright pathetic" (Hey, your words, not mine)! What are you waiting for boy!? Some beautiful girl to just walk into your life and fall madly in love with you? Keep dreaming! Loser.

Dan groans, "Man. Even dead, he still takes shots at my long-wounded self-esteem." He continues to read:

Anyway… I was going to give you this as a wedding gift on the day you finally got married. But seeing that's about as likely as hell freezing over, you might as well just open it up and read what's inside. I'm sure you'll figure out what to do with it.

Look, sorry about that "loser" part earlier. You might not have the "Hibiki touch" when it comes to women, but… you're still my son and I'm proud of you. With just a little more training, you could be as great a fighter as I was. So whatever you do, don't give up, keep trying, keep on fighting, until your dreams come true, boy!

God, that was corny.

Well… take care, son. Use the knowledge within this scroll well.

Dad.

P.S. – You're still gonna marry Yuri Sakizaki! Don't think just cause I'm dead and gone that the deal's off! You'd better marry her boy, or so help me, I'll come back and haunt you for the rest of your disgustingly lonely life!

Then he opens the scroll and begins to read it. "Hey! This…this is….!"

One has to wonder what the contents of that scroll are. In any case, Dan's reaction to what's written inside would mean it's probably good news – the best news he's had in a LONG time.

"ALL RIGHT!! With these, I could finally beat him! YES! Hee hee! Better watch out, R, cause my Saikyo-ryu is about to make its grand comeback! MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!"

TO BE CONTINUED…