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Chapter Nine
Juice pushed my head down and grabbed his gun. With one hand on the wheel he passed Bobby, knocking apart the formation of Mayans who were coming our way. That scrambled them and gave us enough time to get a healthy lead. Juice sped even faster and I heard the tell-tale sound of guns behind us, I kept my head down and started to crawl to the floor. I knew the drill.
One of the motorcycles caught up with us and was shooting into the jeep. I looked up in time to see Juice fire and knock the Mayan off his bike. I didn't know if he was dead and I didn't care. All I cared about was the blood I saw spreading from Juice's leg.
"I'm fine baby. Just stay down." He gave me a weak smile and we finally passed the border. Only two more miles and we'd be in the Charming town limits.
I could tell that it was getting harder for Juice to concentrate so I got up and applied pressure to the wound. He looked like he was going to protest so I glared and he shut up quickly. Sonn we passed the "Welcome to Charming" sign and I breathed a sigh of relief, perhaps too soon. Juice started listing and pulled over before putting his head back.
"I think I lost a lot of blood and I don't think I can move baby." He tried to reach out a hand and dropped it, too weak.
"You'll be fine, I know you will!" I was getting hysterical as the blood continued to flow. I took off my shirt and pressed it to his leg, praying to any god that would listen for my man to be ok.
Just then my prayers were answered and Bobby pulled up. He got up and walked to us, taking in the state of the car and my hands pressing Juice's leg.
"Help me get him into the car, Chibs is waiting at the clubhouse." I nodded dumbly as I crawled over and helped Bobby get Juice into the back seat.
"Keep pressing the wound, we'll get him to the clubhouse." He shut the door and we drove to the clubhouse at break neck speed.
There was commotion when we pulled up to the clubhouse. Jax and Chibs rushed out and got Juice from the backseat while my mom came out of nowhere and wrapped me in her jacket. I was sobbing as I watched them carry Juice in, being careful not to upset his leg. My dad and Tig pulled in next and followed the others into the clubhouse. I tried to get in but my dad blocked me at the door.
"No, you're not coming in here. You've caused enough trouble today." I looked at him in shock.
"Clay, she needs to be with him." My mom pleaded on my behalf, worried about the state I was in.
"Maybe she should have thought about that before she went into Mayan territory. If Juice loses his leg or dies from blood loss, that's on you. Consider yourself persona non grata with SAMCRO, for the time being." He turned and walked back into the clubhouse while I lost the strength in my legs and fell to the ground.
My mom helped me up and walked me to the garage, glaring daggers at the door. I was numb and colder than I'd ever been in my life. If Juice died, I'd die too. I needed to see him, to know he was ok. I stared at the floor and pulled my mom's coat tighter around me, while she sat at the desk and looked at me.
"It'll be ok baby, you know how your dad gets. Juice is a brother and your dad would die for his brothers." She lit up a cigarette.
I nodded and curled into the chair, wanting to disappear. I cried pitifully, ashamed of my weakness and inability to stand up to my dad. I didn't deserve Juice, not if I couldn't even get in my dad's face for him.
"Was visiting Gloria worth it? Did she get your head on straight?" My mom's question shocked me into looking at her.
"I shouldn't have gone, I was stupid and now Juice is paying the price. I don't deserve him." I looked down again.
"It's a price he'd gladly pay baby, that man loves you and if getting shot kept you safe he'd be proud to take the bullet for you. I know you needed the Paiute ball buster, so don't feel bad about going, you just should have called us first, gotten an escort. Seeing your Nan wouldn't have caused a war. We let Alvarez through our territory to visit his daughter; they would have let you through to visit Gloria. Just think baby and if your mind isn't working right, call me I'll set you straight." I felt a laugh bubble up but was too emotionally drained to let it out.
"I'm gonna go check on your man, you stay right here." She walked out the door and I stayed huddled in the chair.
My mind wouldn't stop, the guilt and shame were eating at me. If I wouldn't have listened to Alex, Juice would be okay and we'd probably be in bed now. I felt sick as I thought about the damage I caused. I didn't even see if Dad or Tig were ok, my only thought was Juice. I got up on unsteady feet and walked out of the office. I heard a muffled scream and my stomach turned, I did that to him. I felt like running, getting far away but that's what caused this. Instead I slid down the wall and wrapped my arms around my knees. I must have drifted off because I woke up to a boot prodding my side.
"It's time for you to go darling, Wendy's here to give you a lift." I looked up and saw Chibs wiping the blood off his hands.
"Is he?" I couldn't finish it.
"He'll be fine he just has to keep weight off his leg for about a week. He's been asking for you but Clay says to keep you out. I wish I could let you in there but its better not to raise your da's ire. Call me in a few hours; I'll let you talk to Juice." He helped me up and hugged me.
I hugged him back and walked like a zombie to Wendy's car. She wasn't number one on my friend list but I knew she wouldn't mess with me. She seemed to genuinely care for Jax, but not as much as she cared for herself. She opened the door for me and made sure I got in safely.
"You can just drop me off at my apartment." I told her as I snuggled deeper into the seat.
"Um, Jax told me to bring you to our place. He doesn't want you to be alone. Is it true that your dad said you were persona non grata?" There was no contempt, just concern.
"Yeah, I deserve it. I could have gotten them killed." I started crying in earnest and I felt her had come to rest on the top of my head.
She said nothing else as she caressed my hair and drove to the house her and Jax shared. Once we got there she let me in and got some clothes for me. Luckily it was just one of Jax' SAMCRO t-shirts and sweatpants, Wendy and I weren't the same size and I appreciated her consideration.
"So, you wanna watch a movie, get some food or just hang out?" I must have been really pitiful because Wendy usually resisted hanging out with me. Jax said I made her feel stupid and I had to admit that most of that was intentional.
"It's ok Wendy, you can just go about your daily routine. I'll just stay here." I was curled up on her couch with a thick afghan over me.
"If you like that afghan I can have my grandma make you one. She likes to do that crafting shit. I'll have her make you one big enough that you can snuggle with Ju-" She cut herself off and looked at me, afraid that she's screwed up.
"That sounds nice Wendy." I gave her a smile and she looked relieved.
"Ok, I'm gonna go make a pot of coffee and let you get some rest." She walked out of the living room and I was happy to be alone. I fell asleep and woke up what had to be hours later getting shaken.
"Time to wake up, little sister." I heard Jax' voice and opened my eyes. He was crouching down in front of me. I sat up and he joined me on the couch.
"How's Juice?" I asked as soon as the cobwebs cleared from my head.
"He's good, worried about you though, he needs to know you're ok. If I need to I'll deal with Clay." He really was the best big brother I could ever ask for.
"You don't have to go to bat for me brother it's all my fault. Maybe dad's right, maybe I shouldn't be around right now." I placed my head in my hands and sighed.
"Feel sorry for yourself if you want but that's not what Juice needs right now, he needs you. So get up, take a shower and get dressed. I brought some clothes from your apartment. I'll be waiting for you." He heaved me up off the seat and pushed me toward the bathroom.
I showered and dressed before I went out to talk to Jax. I left the bathroom and found Jax with his arms around Wendy and his tongue down her throat. Seeing a couple like that was what I needed to kick my ass into gear. Juice was my man and, yeah, I fucked up but I could make it up to him.
"Ready to go?" I asked as I stood by the door.
"Yeah, let's go." He led me out to his bike and I climbed on, steeling myself for the confrontation that was about to come.
As we pulled into the clubhouse I noticed a lack of people milling around . That could only work for me. He stopped the bike and got off while I sat and took a few deep breaths, finally getting up the courage to go in the clubhouse.
I walked behind Jax, I had let him know that I wanted to do this on my own. He just nodded and went ahead. As I got to the door I heard my dad's voice and I knew that he couldn't stop me, not this time. Jax held the door for me and I went in behind him with my back straight and my head held high, I wouldn't shrink. Not again.
"I think you took a wrong turn somewhere little girl. You know you're not supposed to be here." My dad tried to be gentle but I still wouldn't listen.
"I may be persona non grata with the club but Juice needs me and that goes beyond you, beyond SAMCRO, anything. If you don't let me in I'll force my way through, he's my man and I'm going to him. You gonna stand in my way Clay, gonna rough up your little girl?" I got in his face and held while he stared me down, then he did what no one expected. He backhanded me and I went down. I tasted blood and winced but I didn't back down, I just got back up and got in his face again.
"Hit my little girl again and I'll have your balls nailed to the wall." My mom came out of the back and pulled me away from him.
"If he wants to hit me again that's up to him. I'm going back there and he can't stop me." I turned and walked to the rooms where I found Chibs standing outside one of the doors. I knew where my man was.
"What happened to your lip?" He asked as I pushed past him and went into the room and nearly cried at the sight in front of me.
Juice was lying on the bed with his leg propped on pillow, his jeans were gone and his wound was wrapped in bloody gauze. I gasped and put my hand over my mouth, wincing as I touched my split lip. Juice must have heard my gasp because he looked over at me and patted the bed on his good side and I ran to him. When I got to the bed I carefully climbed in and collapsed in his arms.
"What happened to your lip baby?" He held me tight and I hoped he wouldn't let go.