Ride like the Wind
Chapter 44
Shuichi?! Hiei thought feeling his breath start to cut off.
"Give me a reason not to kill you and I may let you live," Kurama growled digging his nails into Hiei's neck, small droplets of blood starting to trickle onto his fingers. He heard Mukuro load her pistol and he let his grip loosen a bit.
"You want a reason? Because I'll just have to kill you if you do," Mukuro threatened the red head aiming at the back of his head. "You have a lot of nerve to try to kill someone in front of a cop. As much as I'd hate to do it, I'd have to arrest you. Calm yourself. We'll just work this out."
Kurama slowly let go and let the smaller demon hit the ground. Hiei kneeled on the ground gasping for breath his face turning slightly blue and looking like a puppy that was almost kicked to a bloody pulp. He glanced at Mukuro who was glaring knives into him now and lowered his eyes the way he did when he was caught doing something as a child.
"Wait... What... What's going on here?" Yomi asked.
Mukuro death glared him. "Nothing. Nothing you need to get involved in. Ignore it."
"Sure. We'll move on. Let's go, man," Yusuke grabbed Raizen by the arm.
"Wait. Hey... This might be a bad time to ask, but you know what tomorrow is?" Raizen asked Mukuro.
She groaned. "Fuck, I don't give a rat's ass."
"O... Okay." Yusuke and Raizen walked away.
She turned back to Yomi. "What're you waiting for?"
"Random thought but... Shouldn't you wait to take care of this? Aren't you supposed to be on duty?" Yomi asked.
"So sue me. Shouldn't you be in New Jersey watching your experiment and then help some little boy who broke his leg because he fell off a tree and then cut off his leg because he got gangrene and then putting the lost veins and arteries in a jar for your amusement later on so you move on to patient after patient?"
"Never... Never mind..." He walked away hesitantly.
---
"So, Hiei. What brought you here today?" Kurama asked bitterly his arms crossed.
"Mukuro told me to come. That's it," Hiei answered simply and as calmly as he could manage.
"Are you sure that's it? Are you sure it wasn't to make sure everything was where you left it last time?"
"Make... That's dirty, kid! I'm telling you I'm here to..."
"Funny considering that it's hump day! Goddamn you Hiei Jaganshi! I know by now that you wanna make sure your virginity's dead and gone but that was no reason for you to go around and take mine! Who else were you sleeping with?"
"Screw yourself! You went along with it!"
"BOTH OF YOU!" She crashed their heads together. She took a deep breath. "Goddamn it... Shuichi, I know you're just as pissed off as I am but try to stay calm. He's not lying when he said I told him to come back. I thought we could talk this over but I guess I'm not the problem solver I'm supposed to be. But I do side with you on this one."
"What the hell is your problem?!" Hiei growled slamming his fists on the table.
"Calm the hell down. You're acting like someone's gonna hack it off. You know what this is about. I'm trying hard not to blow your brains out as it is. Don't make it worse for me. You should've known what would come out of doing two people at the same time. So tell me, which one of us do you really love?"
Hiei's eyes shifted between the two. Kurama shook his head in disapproval and buried his face in his hands as if to say "Why did you have to ask?" Mukuro (He could tell she was pissed.) was death glaring him trying hard to resist the urge to give him a good beating. Hiei watched Kurama for half a minute and spent the other half staring at Mukuro's chest. (What he got out of that Kurama didn't know seeing how Mukuro made sure her shirts were loose enough to make her chest look flat.)
Hiei finally crossed his arms and replied, "I love you the same."
"Yeah and I'm actually the lost pharaoh from ancient Egypt," Kurama replied sarcastically. "She didn't get through to you, did she?"
"No, I figured out how we could do a threesome! See, you'd be in the middle..."
"Shut it, Jaganshi! I know how it'd work! That Nicholas D. Roy was a nasty man with no shame and he made it a point to say these kinds of things around me!" Mukuro growled. "You don't love someone just because they're good in bed."
"Mukuro, if that were the case, I would have walked out on Shuichi a long time ago," Hiei replied.
"Oh that's reassuring..." Kurama rolled his eyes. "So basically you like her better because she is?"
"No, see...! You're good too because you don't go and bite my head off or anything. And you're nice and you take good care of me... And...!"
"So you're saying the only thing she has going for her is sex. And I'm good for everything else. So when you start feeling the urge you can just go to her and then come back and have me housewife and mother you."
"No, I mean...!"
"Are you listening to yourself anymore?"
"Ugh! See when you're bi, you..."
"Hiei. Nicholas D. Roy was bi, too. So you're implying that because he flaunted that fact around he had full right to rape me and it would be okay if he went and did it again. So there was nothing wrong with that," Mukuro growled her voice laced with poison.
"No but..."
"But nothing. I don't know what point you're trying to make." She looked out the window like she was going to throw something out of it and started to walk out of the room. "I need water. While I get it, you two talk this out. And if you make Shuichi cry or if you beat the hell out of Hiei I'll come back and split your skin off, strangle you with it and then snap your neck. Watch it." She walked out.
"Goddamn she's scary when she's pissed off." Hiei whispered under his breath. He glanced at Kurama who sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Kurama, look it's..."
"Don't start," Kurama replied with no emotion. "She's right. You're not making sense. I liked you when you did back before I found out about Sensui being alive. I liked you better when you were going off on me just for being an American. Really hypocritical of you to say that and then go off with some American woman. I guess I just now realized how little sense you made. You could have told me sooner instead of having me wait til Jin had to leave. I should have known..."
"Wait. Look..." He sighed. "Okay, see... We'll... Well... I was gonna tell you but I wasn't sure how you'd take it but..." He noticed Kurama buried his face in his hands again. "...Are... Are you crying...?"
"No..."
"I just heard you sniff..."
"It's allergies."
"No, you're..."
"I'm getting out of here!" He slammed the door behind him.
Hiei heard the sound of someone cracking their knuckles behind him. "DON'TPEELOFFMYSKIN! IDIDN'TMAKEHIMCRY! HEJUSTSTARTEDDOINGITONHISOWN! HONEST! IDIDN'TMAKEHIMDOIT!"
Mukuro gave him a blank stare. "You stay with me for a month and you don't realize that it's a habit of mine? But if you want me to do it..."
"God, no!" He almost fell out of the chair.
"So, I'm right in assuming you're staying with me even though I supposedly chew your head off and treat you badly though it's actually the other way around?"
"I don't treat you bad."
"So why was I doing better when you were gone? Or did you forget your promise that you'd stop seeing me if I did better after you left?"
"I kinda forgot but..."
"Well, bloody hell. I think it's better if you'd stop seeing me. Like I said, you don't really treat me all that well. It's always sex with you and the only times you don't jump on me are when I threaten to blow your brains out and when I had that ulcer. Says a lot to me if I have to say something so you won't do me. Secondly if this continues the way it is you'll probably end up with a whole bunch of kids you don't want. Not ready to become a brain-dead housewife just yet."
"I see... Wait, you're pregnant?!"
"NO YOU BLOODY RETARD! What, did you land on your head when you fell off the... The...! The thing!"
"It's called Ice World not the thing. And what? Are you gonna do Yomi even though he'd faint at the sight of your breasts?"
"Sure he'll suddenly gain sight just to stare at them. You wouldn't be surprised by his reaction if you saw some of the girlfriends he had. But that's not the point."
"Ugh!" He smacked his forehead and slammed the table. "Mukuro, you're making this harder than it is!"
"No, I'm not. You brought this on yourself. No, all the shit that happens to us we bring on ourselves and we all have to pay the price for it so we make excuses. There was something Yomi used to say: 'Excuses are like ass holes, we all have one.'"
"Screw that. If it makes you feel better I was gonna give up on him anyway. He doesn't need a guy like me to pull him down."
"What? And I do?"
"No. If I die, you can move on. He'll move on but he'd have a hard time carrying all that weight. But you always pull a lot more than he manages."
"That makes no sense."
"Look. Basically no one cares if I live or die so I might as well..."
Mukuro slapped him and made sure she put her nails deep enough to make a scar. As she watched him recover, she clenched her fist so tightly that her palm started to bleed. "Don't you give me that shit! People do give a damn! If we didn't then would I have kept Shuichi from killing you? Would Shuichi have stayed with you? Would anyone you know still talk to you? Then get over yourself! Quit trying to get pitied all the time! I had it bad too and I know I might not be everybody's favorite but hell, I can move on. But you can't. If you want to die, kill yourself but everybody that cares would be watering your grave. And don't you forget that!" She cocked her head when Hiei point his gun at her. "What the hell are you doing that for? But if you're so hell-bent on doing it, then go on! Pull the trigger so you can bitch about how you wish you didn't! So go on! Do it!"
"I can't!" He threw it at her, hitting the right side of her face.
"Suit yourself!" She walked out.
---
Yomi wandered down the street, occasionally turning his head as if looking over his shoulder look for some axe murderer. He stopped right next to Kurama. "Hey, you're that kid from before."
"Yup," Kurama replied.
"Okay." He started to walk away.
"What? You're not gonna say anything meaningful like Be good or Carry on my wayward son or Be strong soldier or If you watch a dog urinate you'll get a bump on your head?!"
Say what? "Uh... Don't sit in a wet trench for... Four years shooting at... Some guy you don't know... You'll get... Uh... Bad feet and... Hands?" Long silence.
"Screw it, I'm gonna go home..."
"You don't want me to take you to your mother...?"
"If that were the case, she would have had me when she was eleven. She's old enough to be my sister."
"...I see."
"Ah! Two of my favorite demons!" a voice called. It was...
"Koenma?" Kurama gasped. "What're you...?"
"Just dropping in for a visit!" he replied cheerfully. "I just wanted to have a talk with someone I haven't seen in about ten years then turn around and go to Chicago to look for Hiei and then continue looking for Jin. Haven't seen the guy in Mexico."
"Wait, Hiei's a small Mexican guy right?" Yomi asked. "About this tall?" He indicated the height with his right hand.
"Yeah. Why?" Koenma asked.
"He's here."
"And Jin's back in Ireland," Kurama added.
"What?! Can't anyone stay in one place anymore?!"
"Apparently not," Yomi replied.
"You're one to talk! I look for you in Louisiana then I hear you're in London so I look there and then I hear you're in Spain so I look there and I hear you're in Scotland so I go there and hear you're in New Jersey so I go there and what do I hear from some kid that you're seeing some whore in Boston!" Koenma cried.
"...She's not a whore..."
"Ugh! I'm going!" He grumbled under his breath.
"...By the way, she lives in the other direction. Now might be a bad time to go. She's not in the best of moods right now..."
"She never is!" Long silence.
"...I never saw it that way."
---
There was a knock on the door. Mukuro groaned and opened it only to be tackled by Koenma.
"HOW DARE YOU BECOME A WHORE! THE POWER OF THE BOOK COMPELS YOU TO STOP!" He started banging a book on her head.
"Now isn't the best of times to annoy the hell out of me. And who told you I was a whore?" she asked.
"I dunno... Some kid in New Jersey. AND WHY ARE YOU STILL DRESSING LIKE THAT! THE POWER OF J-"
"Leave me alone. You know why."
"Isn't your husband...?"
"I'm not married."
"...You should marry..."
"Hell no. He touches me with his masturbating hand."
"I do not!" Yomi broke in. Silence. "Should've kept quiet."
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GIVE IT UP!" Koenma whacked him with the book.
"I did... But... For that I shall shave me beard," he held up a knife.
"You have no beard, Yomi," Kurama said.
"What? No, I have to have one! I..." He ran his hands all over his face. "OMG! I... Did I just say OMG? I said it again! ...And for that I am sad... And in atonement I shall cut my hair!" He cut a strand of hair with his knife. "Wait! I JUT REALIZED THAT I'M NOT STRAIGHT WITH SCISSORS! NO! I'LL LOOK LIKE A POODLE THAT GOT RUN OVER EVEN THOUGH THOSE THINGS ALREADY LOOK RUN OVER! I MUST RUN HOME TO GET A BOWL THEN CUT MY HAIR!" He ran out screaming, "THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"
"That was weird..." Koenma mumbled.
"Now you see why I refused to marry him..." Mukuro replied. What was tomorrow again? Oh yeah, I remember now...
"Hiei? What're you doing here?"
"Leave me alone. I'm angsting," Hiei groaned.
"You always are!"
Raizen's birthday. Or something like that. Better watch out because...
End chapter 44
Notes:
1. Hump day- slang for Wednesday because it's the peak of the week
2. "Uh... Don't sit... hands...?"- A bad reference to trench warfare in World War 1. It's referencing trench foot and trench hand. Something the soldiers got from the moisture in the trenches.
This chapter is dedicated to Pyramid Head from Silent Hill 2. Just because he's so cool with that pyramid this on his head... Because very few may no one know him if they never saw the Silent Hill movie or played Silent Hill 2.
Anyway. I rushed near the end because I thought I took to long. Sorry. Meh. Random thought. I watched the fight between Hiei and Mukuro and glanced away from the TV for a second while they were doing all the grunting noises... I think I started blushing because my mind is so dirty...
Gotta go. Review please.