Hey guys,
Thanks for reading this, for starters, and please don't kill me for not updating anything this summer; it was INSANE. i won't get into details, let's get back to updates. I will be updating 'Inadequate' soon, i promise, i changed the name to 'The seeker', it goes better with the mood of the story.
THis fic, i've been working on it since May and i have changed it so many times it is ridiculous, so please PLEASE tell me what you think. This is the most chalenging one i've ever written, since it's supernatural and such. I don't know if i have a talent for non human stories, but this is just a glimpse at my supernatural writing 'skills'... let's see how this experiment goes:S
Um.. so yeah, that's about it.
Enjoy;)
Plastic
That was the smell.
"Bella," My mother, Rene said from across the room. "I'm heading back home to get some clothes. Stay here, please."
"Do you smell that?"
"Smell what?"
"It's like… plastic." I scrunched my nose. "It suffocates me." I muttered to myself.
"Bells, going now…" my mother's coldness was irritating, normally; today, I didn't care.
Carla blinked up at me from her bed, covered in tubes and wires that were her life sustain. "Sure." The response was simple. After Rene left the room I sighted in relief, my whole body slumping into the stiff plastic chair.
We already knew Aunt Carla wouldn't make it, and still mother remained in denial, remaining oblivious and acting as if nothing was wrong; I just went with it, ignorance is bliss and all that. I smiled wistfully, thinking about mother's odd ways. She would hum old tunes while rearranging Carla's pillow. Mother also gave her monthly haircuts, ignoring nurse's protests; they gave up after mother threatened them with a brush and a blow-dryer. It was hilarious.
Mother didn't let it show, but I knew she was as freaked out as I was by Carla's current condition. Mother hided it better, she was loud and oblivious while I was quieter and transparent. But Aunt Carla was like a brick wall. Not even the psychiatrist her oncologist recommended was getting through to her. Mother would always watch like a hawk during these sessions. Carla would try to look healthy and strong when Rene was in the room, while I suffered in silence, terrified for my aunt's life.
I think she still thought she was the 'big sister', the perfect, healthy, responsible child Rene looked up to, instead of a dying cancer patient.
The length people go through to keep their image still amazed me. The truth is, when you're dying, you become nothing; just a body waiting for its due date.
"Sleep," Carla said softly, taking me back to the present. A few tears slid down my cheeks; it was the first thing she'd spoken in weeks. I gaped at her momentarily. "And stop crying," another slid, and another, and before I knew it I was sobbing quietly, snuggling into my chair. "Save those for my funeral," was the last I heard before slipping into unconsciousness.
I dreamt of green moss and ice cream; a distant memory from Forks.
"How's that ice cream?" his mustache twitched under his grin. I smiled up at him, barely squinting my eyes; there was so little sun in Forks. The clouds would stain the deep blue sky always. There was too much green… too much gray.
"Tastes like happiness," I responded with a smile.
"You're the weirdest kid I've ever known." He snickered thoughtfully, scratching his head.
Soft nudges woke me up while I resisted emerging from my happy memories. Finally, I opened my eyes, irritated. "What's wrong?" I replied groggily, immediately craning my neck around to check on Carla. She was asleep. "Is everything ok?" Angela, floor nurse, smiled down at me with a concerned look on her face.
I loathed it, the pity, the compassion in her dark eyes, always haunting me, making me feel as if I was the one sick rather than Carla.
"Yes, but I need you to do me a favor."
"Sure, what's up?" I rubbed my eyes, trying to rub off the tiredness of my eyes.
"Can you run down to the cafeteria and get me a club sandwich with a diet coke?" she handed me a 20 dollar bill. "Miss Denali, down the hall, is in one of her moods and I can't leave her side for more than 5 minutes. Her daughter, Tanya, is trying to calm her, but with the Alzheimer… you know." I nodded and smiled at her sympathetically. "I'll stay with her until you come back; can't have two people unattended."
I chuckled quietly and nodded. "Sure," I briefly glanced towards the alarm clock and noted that it was almost midnight before walking out the deserted hall. It was so quiet I could hear my own breathing in synch with my footsteps.
Entering the empty elevator, I wished I had someone to bring me up from these moods.
I didn't have many friends, and I was never a social butterfly, not even in college. I had certainly never been beautiful or cool, so that didn't help my case. My self esteem was pretty much nonexistent and my confidence was laughable. Point, begin: I am pathetic.
Bleh, at least my decorator likes me.
The cafeteria was uncomfortably crowded for a hospital at midnight. One would think they were practically deserted. But no, there were about 25 people in the large space, between doctors, nurses and random people. It felt almost as if I was sitting in my high school cafeteria again. Whispers and giggles flooding the large room, the white plastic tables with the red trays on top of them, the ugly lunch lady with the net in her hair, glaring at everyone for no reason, the janitor picking up after people with a glare, as well...
It was all way too familiar.
Forks high… I hated those years. They were spent with me being ignored, at the point of the principal saying my name wrong at graduation…
"Isabel Swank."
Swank: Extremely cool; dope; kickass (according to urban dictionary)
You'd think people thought I was cool after that.
I decided to sit down a bit, trying to erase that horrible thought. I tried to remember that I was in a hospital, not back at that horrible place.
Well, that didn't help either.
I'd never really been a big fan of hospitals with their scalpels and wards…and dead people; not to mention the plastic smell that clung to you (stupid plastic).
Dum du-du durum dum Dum-dudu durum dum
A paralegal with the 'Law and Order' theme song as her ringtone; god, I was lame.
"Bella Swan," I answered in my business tone. Then realized that if someone was calling me at that time, it was probably wrong number and definitely not business.
"…coming over,"
"I'm sorry, what?" I checked the BlackBerry's screen and noticed it was Alice Whitlock's number. Why the hell was she calling me at this hour?
"It's Alice, your interior designer."
"Yeah, sorry, I'm at the hospital."
"What, why?" I had to lean away from the little device.
"Um, not me, my aunt Carla, she's in the hospital." She exhaled in relief. "What were you saying?"
"I'm sorry to be calling so late," she began, sighing. "But I just had to call you to understand something. No offense, but how could a grown woman like you live in those conditions?" Here we go… "I mean, I get it… being a student is hard, economically, trust me, I've lived through it." Somehow, I found it hard to believe. She was a twenty five year old woman wearing 900 dollar shoes! Please, the only thing she finds hard it's her husband's dick. "But Bellaaaa… Oh god, I need to take a Xanax; bad memories." She wailed, surely fanning herself while sipping a martini sitting on her smoking hot husband's lap. I swear her hand was super-glued to one of those glasses.
And her husband's lap
Nothing much had changed from the 'I'm-in-college-and-can't-afford-anything' period; I still worked like a dog, like I did in college, trying to make partner at the firm by the time I reached 35, I had no time for myself. I added a few things over the years, but the apartment didn't look lived in and honestly I had finally saved enough money to hire an interior designer, so I was going to get one. I was sick and tired of living in a dumpster, as Alice Whitlock had so eloquently put it in our first meeting. I was taking the reins of my life.
"Alice, get to the point, honey."
"What I was saying, we're meeting at me house again because there is only so much I can stomach. Afterwards, we're going to a fabulous party at my sister-in-law's house. Her name is Rosalie Hale-Cullen, married to Emmett Cullen, my older brother. "
Yeah, we were kind of best friends now, even though I found her in the phone book three weeks ago, when I put the 'reins on life' plan in motion.
"Whoa! Emmett Cullen the entertainment lawyer?" I watch a lot of E! News, sue me.
Ha! Legal jokes…
"Yes, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton… you name it, he's worked with them."
"When's the party, tomorrow?"
"No, silly, you don't go out on Monday's! Monday's are for sleeping off the weekend. The party is on Thursday."
I chuckled. "Sure, Alice, but we need to meet before then."
"Why?" I stood, walking over to purchase Angela's meal.
"Because we both know that Thursday will be all fun and no work; let's meet tomorrow so we can discuss the real reason I'm paying you."
"Oh, Bella, I'm not taking you out because you pay me. You're an awesome girl! I love being your friend!"
"Well, I do, too, Alice. And you're awesome, too. Even with your… antics."
She snorted. "My antics, nice one… anyways, we'll meet Wednesday to discuss designing. I got these awesome sketches for your place; you're gonna love them! Oh, and I'm picking your outfit for the party. I took the liberty to snoop in your closet; nice!" I laughed. "I approve of 85 percent of what you have; good score. See ya, Belly-button! Oh, lunch tomorrow, remember!" I didn't have time to respond.
"Hey, lady, wanna order sometime today?" I turned towards the lady. She was the typical lunch lady; it was almost comical. She even had one of those moles right on her forehead that looked like it was staring directly at you.
"Um, sorry, just a club sandwich and a diet coke, please." I hastily shoved my hand into my jean pocket, pulling out the bill.
"Oh, sweet lord," The lunch lady murmured when she turned, looking past my shoulder. "If he had known me in my days…" she trailed off suggestively, still talking to herself. I frowned and turned.
Oh sweet lord, indeed…
There was a sudden calm - in my head, anyways- like everything was in slow motion and in mute. I could feel my breathing change and my heart thump in my chest, my palms clammy and the hairs on my neck stand. Crap! Why hadn't I worn a skirt or something?
He was beautiful. Tall and graceful, with chiseled features and pink pouty lips, he entered the harshly lit cafeteria looking more out of place than me at a beauty pageant, and looking as beautiful as anything I'd ever seen. His dark V-neck sweater covering his strong muscles and jeans hung so low on his hips I could see the waistband of purple boxers. His fingers swept through his bronze locks, making him look like some kind of James Dean character. His steps were swift and graceful, as if he was a ballet dancer.
A wave of déjà vu washed through me, as I noticed his almost translucent skin. Where had I seen him before?
Bella, if you had known such beautiful specimen, would you forget about him?
I turned abruptly to the gaping lady. "He's coming over." If I hadn't been so freaked out I would have laughed at her; she even took off her hair net, revealing a surprisingly lush head of brown hair. "It'll be 13 dollars," looks like someone's got her purr on.
She seriously purred at me.
Bleh
"On me," I froze, almost dropping the 20 Angela gave me, and turned to the delicious velvety voice behind me. He was so close, holding a black credit card between his long calloused fingers. I noticed his eyes were a deep shade of green, his nose so perfectly straight and pointy, his lips pouty and so red, his scent mouthwatering… yup, he was perfect, and paying for my meal.
"Breathe," he ordered gently with a crooked smile on his face, his green eyes full of concern; that made me snap.
I shut my mouth with an audible snap and pursed my lips. "Excuse me," I said indignantly. "I can pay myself perfectly fine."
"No need to do that when I can," I narrowed my eyes and held up the 20 dollar bill towards the lady. "Please," he fluttered his long lashes at me, leaving me momentarily in trance.
"I don't know you. I-…" his eyes darkened and his face twisted in annoyance, slipping his card into his wallet. "I don't want your money, sir." I said firmly, gathering all of my feminist power.
"Fine, whatever, pay for your meal." His eyes darkened with anger and his beautiful lips pulled into a sneer, leaving me stupefied and angry. I swear I heard him mutter something about 'stubborn humans' as he turned and left.
What an odd thing to say…
"Wha- What!" the lunch woman whispered. "What's wrong with you?"
I rolled my eyes and paid for the items, stomping off myself towards Carla's room.
Angela almost knocked me over, taking the things from my hand and digging in, all while yelling "Thank you so much!" as she ran towards Miss Denali's room. I squeezed my eyes shut, too tired to even think about how pissed I still was about the asshole and about the fact that I had to go to work the following day after a shitty weekend, and curled into the chair, falling into a dreamless slumber.
At exactly 6 a.m., while I finished dressing after a much needed shower, Rene showed up with a suitcase full of clean clothes and a big radio. "What's that for?" I inquired, gathering my hair in a low ponytail. She chuckled and plugged it in. 'Here comes the sun' began blasting through the speakers. I rolled my eyes and gathered my purse and laptop case while Rene sang along softly. Carla awoke and smiled softly; it was her favorite song.
The days passed smoothly, tons of work and no credit from the firm, no progress from Carla and favors for Angela (that greedy bitch). Even Alice's crude jokes about her husband couldn't lift me from my funk. It frustrated Alice that I wasn't more excited about the renovations but there was just too much bullshit going on in my life.
"I am so making my famous mango daiquiris Thursday afternoon," I heard her mutter to herself at one point of our meeting on Wednesday; that quipped my interest.
As if she sensed my interest, she dove into details of colors, furniture and frames. I listened intently, even making a few changes and comments. By the end of our lunch, we had a sketch ready for the shopping to begin. The girl was pretty efficient like that. Alice wanted us to go boutique shopping, while I, as the practical girl I am, wanted an all IKEA look for my humble home. We decided that the decorations were going to be bought at Rosalie's boutique and furniture was to be bought in IKEA, much to my delight.
I loved IKEA; like… in an unhealthy manner.
"I freaking love IKEA!" I gushed.
"You know, IKEA is Swedish for 'how the hell do I put this together'." Alice said, wrinkling her little nose. "Anyways, what are you wearing for Rosalie's party tomorrow?"
"A… dress,"
"Which one, Bella?" she spoke slowly, as if speaking to a child.
"A black one," I was making these things up as I went; I don't think I even owned a black dress. That one's gonna backfire…
"Oh!" she squealed, clapping her hands together. "A LBD, I love those, especially if they're shiny!" LBD? Was that some kind of drug? "Little black dress, Bella," She rolled her eyes and stood, slapping some cash onto the table. "Come!" I barely had any time to grab my purse and stand. "Try not to trip. We don't have time for a concussion today. The mall is waiting for us."
The whole ride was pretty silent, which was unusual for Alice. But I was grateful; I needed some silence, just the quiet hum of the car accelerating. It almost lulled me to sleep.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm just obscenely tired." Saying it out loud felt great. In fear of upsetting Rene or Carla I'd kept the feeling bottled up inside, instead suffering in silence. Now that I said it with someone that didn't expect me to be strong, without that constant pressure of pretending, I felt relieved; as if I could breathe again. Work was eating me up, and with Carla's condition I was about to have a breakdown; I could feel it in my bones, all waiting to snap.
We arrived at the mall and parked. She turned off the ignition, removing the key and tucking a lock of spiky hair behind her ear. I smiled weakly at her; she was truly beautiful. Not in a way that made me attracted to her, but as a timeless, beautiful piece of art I could admire. She was perfectly proportioned, her body the image of pettiness, fit but feminine. Her face went perfectly with the rest of her, delicate and chiseled. Her eyes a deep shade of caramel that reminded me so much of Carla's eyes. Her hair was cut in a spiky do, so perfectly Alice; quirky and stylish.
"Let's go shopping," she winked and exited the car with me in tow.
I hated the Northgate Mall with passion. I hated any mall with passion, as well as shopping. The only thing I didn't absolutely despise was the movie theater and food court, besides that I avoided it like the plague. Alice proceeded to explain the pros of shopping in a mall, the wide variety, the cheaper prices and the excitement of being in a mall; I made a mental note to never voice my dislike for malls and my liking for online shopping.
Also, the fact that in order to walk through the crowds, you are left with no other option other than to squeeze and cringe your way through it, wasn't helping my claustrophobia- I mean, I'm afraid of elevators, for Jesus' sake. And so, Alice and I cringed our way into Nordstrom.
After browsing the entire store, we decided that I try on 5 dresses, all of them way too sexy and so not my style, but Alice said they would look amazing on me, so I decided to stop being such an over-analyzer and just do.
I entered the dimly lit changing room, arranging my dresses on the hooks in the walls in the order I would be trying them on. I slipped the fine silk of the first one over my head, wondering if this was my right size. When the hem brushed over my thighs, I knew this was way a no-go. It was a breezy, one shoulder dress with abstract patterns in blue, brown and green. The only sleeve went from my shoulder to my elbow in a dramatic cut. Alice said I looked like a Greek goddess but agreed that did not quite suit me; she also told me that it was a shift dress… whatever that meant.
The second one was very short and was help up by thin spaghetti straps; the thin blue silk was thin, so thin you could tell I was wearing a strapless bra from the back, the ruffles in the front hid it well but it was still lacking something. Alice said it looked cute on me, so the dress had gotten an official no. We were looking for extraordinary and nothing less.
The last one Alice had picked out was the best of all. It was comfortable; strapless with a little black belt on the waist, it covered my thighs and covered all my lines. I smiled, pleased with Alice's fashion advice. I walked out and noticed Alice's absence.
"Bella," Alice came back holding the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. "I know the one you're wearing is amazing, but this, Bella, is the one."
It was strapless, no ruffles, no beadings, just a detailed bodice in chiffon, a silver belt and an A-line skirt flaring down. It was simple, comfortable and in the most beautiful shade of blue; it almost shone in the harsh light of the hallway.
Putting it on, I hardly recognized myself. My curves were hidden tastefully and the contrast of the silver blue with my skin was just perfect. Even though the price tag almost made my eyes bug out of my eye sockets, I knew this was the one.
I sighed in contentment, already planning to make the dress my new 'party' uniform for the next decade- yeah, it was that expensive.
"Perfect," she whispered, ushering me towards the mirror. "This, Bella, will be the most beautiful and special dress you'll ever have. I promise you, and no, Bella, you will not repeat this outfit." I began to protest, only to be cut off by Alice. "The dress is on me, other clothing devices will be covered by your poor credit card."
"Alice I can't take-…" she turned to me, glaring daggers.
"Are you refusing me?" she said it with such venom I visibly flinched. Her eyes turned darker and her lips curled into a sneer, making me feel about as little as a penny.
"Ok, ok…"
After carefully removing my chiffon heaven, Alice brought me a beautiful pair of high heeled sandals in the exact shade of the dress' belt. I tried them on and walked carefully in them. Alice said that she was certain no accidents were going to happen; I was going to be fine. I frowned slightly, amazed by her mood swings. Alice paid for hers and my dress, keeping complaints sealed behind my tight lips, and I paid for my accessories.
"Just look away," Alice turned me from the cashier when the card was being swiped. Almost in autopilot, I signed the receipt before having it destroyed by the evil pixie.
I decided to pay a little visit to the holy grail of underwear: Victoria's Secret. I figured if I was going to look so damn good on the outside, I needed to look even better underneath.
"Oh! You should totally get a corset!" Alice squealed. In my head, I was already horrified, ready to give Alice a sarcastic remark, but then I thought why the hell not?
Having picked out the blue corset, the tiny scrap of matching lace called 'thong' and a garter belt with the thigh highs, I felt myself in slow motion as I walked through what seemed the entire store to get to the changing rooms; in my head, people applauded and cheered me on, Alice in tow with her own cheers, even with a cheerleader uniform and pompoms. I felt empowered and sexy. I was tired of being old, boring Bella with a thousand problems and trying to please everyone.
#E$%^&*()_+
A tall, blond, Amazon-like woman greeted us at the door, kissing Alice's cheeks and wrapping her in a tight hug. She wore a tight leather dress and engine red heels, her hair curled in a very old fashioned way, framing her beautiful face. Her whole dominatrix Martha Stewart look she carried worked in the most alluring way; I seriously doubted my sexual orientation for a moment.
"So you're Bella Swan?" she said in a velvety, smooth voice, so feminine and slurry it made me feel dirty.
"Uh… yes, hi." I said shyly, shaking her hand and blushing furiously.
"Come on in, Bella," I looked up, noticing the way she looked at me; her head was tilted down and her long eyelashes framed her green eyes. Was she flirting with me?
"Ok…" Am I a lesbian?
"Grab a glass of champagne and make yourselves at home." She winked and moved on to the next group of people that were behind us. Alice was quick by grabbing me as she led the way into the house. I felt dazed and breathless.
"A glass of champagne, miss?" I smiled gratefully at the waiter, taking the cool glass and taking a sip. We stood away from the crowd. The two-story house had a large backyard with a pool. There were a few bean bag chairs under a modern looking tent, where people sat and chatted, drinking colorful cocktails and munching on appetizers. The pool was a large, Olympic style made in heaven, covered by little purple lilies and candles, giving the party a mellow atmosphere. The DJ was set on a far off corner, doing… DJ duties. There were large, white Chinese paper lamps lighting the place and the waiters wore white and pale purple, matching the furniture and candles.
It was a truly exquisite view.
"Where's Jasper?"
"Oh, he came here earlier so I'm browsing for him." She smiled a little as she kept her search.
"Why did he come early?" I chastised myself for being such a nosey idiot.
Alice had no problem in filling me in. "My older brother, Edward, arrived from Brazil yesterday; he was away for a couple of days… some business thing he had. Anyway, Emmett decided to have their weekly boy's golf game thingy all day today instead of Saturday. Impatient boys…"
I chuckled, nodding. "That's cool. How was growing up with Emmett, dude?" the dude was like 7 foot tall and seriously frightening. I imagined him being the evil older brother to poor little Alice, picking on her and teasing her restlessly. "I bet he's a blast."
She laughed, melodically and feminine. "I wouldn't know. We're all adopted."
"Who are we, exactly?"
"Let me explain: Carslile, my adoptive father, married Esme about 20 years ago, and discovered Esme's infertility a few years into the marriage." I grimaced and gave her a sympathetic smile. "She's cool with it. I mean, she's like really mellow and understanding. So, anyways, Carslile took it a little harshly and was all emo and depressed. So one night, while he was in the hospital back in Chicago, he encountered this woman; she was desperate, trying to get rid of her baby. Well… long story short he took the baby and named him Edward, adopted him and what not. About a year later they found me in a dumpster."
"A dumpster?" I exclaimed. "Jesus,"
"I know, my parents were assholes, anyway… they took me in. Then they got twins from the adoption agency, Rose and Jasper." Whoa! I did not expect that. She laughed freely at my expression. "And lastly, they got Emmet from the same agency. At least that's what they say… he's a man-beast. Probably found him in the jungle or something…"
Said Emmett appeared behind Alice with a big grin on his face. "You're just jealous I came from a clean, normal place, dump-girl."
"Shut up!" I laughed freely as Emmett introduced himself. His skin was pale, as Alice's, and his eyes an odd grey color, if he wasn't boisterous and friendly I would have been afraid of him. And he was hot, of course. This family belonged in a museum for their beauty.
"Nice to meet you, Bella, we've heard tons about you." He winked, earning a shove from Alice. What was that about?
"I know it's unconventional. And you may see us as some kind of incestuous family, but we all just… found our soul mates in the Casa de Cullen." Alice continued, ignoring her brother.
"Fuck, yeah, Rosie and I were like enemies during high school, until she shoved her tongue down my throat at a Christmas party when we were 16." He got a far-away look, smirking. "Good times…"
"No, I get you. Sometimes I guess it just kind of… chooses you." Even though I'd never experienced that kind of feeling, I kind of knew where she was coming from. You get the family you get, and you love them no matter what. Or shove your tongue down their throats.
She chuckled and sipped her drink. "High school was hilarious in our house. I don't think dad ever slept, trying to keep us from fuc-…"
"ALICE! Too much, too soon…" I covered my ears, effectively dropping the champagne glass. I didn't know how she did it, but somehow it landed on Alice's palm. I gaped at the sight, how the glass was in complete stillness on her hand, the liquid squishing fractionally. She lifted the glass and placed it on a table. "You have like… really good reflexes."
She laughed uneasily. "I practice kickboxing."
"Oh," there was an awkward silence.
"So I'm gonna take off. Nice meeting you, Bells." Emmett winked, patting my shoulder as if we were old friends and walking away.
"Come on; let's introduce you to some people." And like that, the awkwardness way broken.
We sipped our drinks and spoke to a few of Alice's friends. I sighed internally as I watched Alice's friend Tanya talk about her time in Alaska and Europe, the hotels and monuments she'd seen while everyone commented on their own experience, even Alice, while I nodded and smiled uneasily, only talking when spoken to. I felt to so out of place it was ridiculous. Suddenly, I was back at Forks high, about to burst into tears for my social awkwardness.
"The Eifel Tower is so overrated; I mean I went there like three times when I lived in Paris and was less than impressed." Tanya continued, rolling her eyes as she remembered. "And don't even get me started with the Louvre museum… it is so sourd Je me sentais complètement et totalement s'ennuyer à mourir, vous connaissez?"
A few murmurs agreed to whatever the hell she said. Alice just snorted and shrugged, muttering about how boring those people were.
"I mean speaking French at a cocktail party? How conceited can you be? I don't get why Rose is friends with these people."
I decided not to comment on that, afraid that she might have opened an easy way to agree with her and insult her friends as a test of friendship or trust, but I, instead shrugged and sipped my drink while she complained. I had a feeling I had passed it.
We walked over to the bar and sat in one of the stools. She ordered a 'double' with her confident posture, making me feel so out of place.
I could never talk like that, with such poise and strength. I mumbled and stuttered my way through life, how could I ever even think of being graceful? I was coherent on a good day.
I envied her, Alice. Even though I liked her a lot, I couldn't help but hate her a little. I felt horrible for being so selfish. Then I began to wonder why I'd never been confident, why I was so dull. Maybe I deserved the misery of my life. Maybe there was something was wrong with me. Maybe I would never have a presence in rooms or have lots of friends, or have guys falling into my lap. I tried to be fine with that, but I felt so irrelevant in this life, in this body. I could just feel my life go by, and I was only twenty four.
I wanted to forget about me.
"Here, Bella" a shot glass between her dainty fingers rose up to meet my lips, I parted them. My throat felt on fire, but I swallowed it down, giving Alice a weak smile. My tongue felt numb and my eye lids a little heavier. I didn't feel sleepy, just relaxed. Just as I wanted to be; loose, free, happy…The music somehow seemed louder, the lights brighter, my dress more beautiful, the people so nice and warm; their smells enveloped me in a warm cocoon of happiness and fun.
I never wanted the feeling to go away. I wanted more.
"More," I ordered confidently to Alice.
The same rim was pressed to my bottom lip and my lips parted automatically, my eyes closed as I savored the sensations it made me feel. Warmth… it was hot, so hot. I wanted to shed my clothes and swim naked on the nice, cool pool. I reconsidered it, thinking about the candles and how it could alter the temperature. I removed my sweater and sighed, swaying in beat with the music. The sweater slipped from my fingers, disappearing magically. I giggled and ordered for more. Another one came against my lips. Who was giving me this heavenly nectar? I could only see darkness. Then I remembered my eyes were closed, making me laugh and open them. Alice was not in front of me anymore.
Green orbs stared right at me, darker now… tongue running over pouty lips… mouthwatering scent… I felt as if I was in a blender of happiness and rainbows. I opened my eyes again, feeling braver than before.
"More," I whispered lowly, my voice felt rough and breathless. "I need more."
"One more," his voice was like melted velvet, running through my skin, making me even hotter. My fingers twitched towards the zipper of my dress. "And then we go," My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I heard his voice drop to a low, raspy manner. My thighs clenched involuntarily, anticipating this stranger's moves.
He was closer now, our chests brushing every time we breathed. My toes dug into my shoes and the warmth spread lower, moistening my panties and making my breasts ache in the most delicious way. I wanted to be touched by this man so badly. I closed my eyes, relishing the simple fact of his presence and the sensations I was feeling. Oh how good his body felt against mine… so hard and inviting. I wanted to crawl into his jacket and live there.
Cold fingers… so cold… as cold as ice… they pressed against my jaw, caressing the skin there, and then kneading it open. My lips parted and my eyes fluttered but not opened. The rim pressed against my bottom lip, and liquid poured a bit, moistening my lip. My tongue swept over it and drank the liquid greedily, groaning at the warmth it spread over my body. My hands felt damp and my feet ached (stupid shoes). The stranger's sweet breathed washed over me exquisitely, making me dizzy. I pressed my thighs closer together, trying to create some friction.
I felt my body sway. Strong hands gripped my hips and fingers dug into my warm flesh, making me shudder in sheer pleasure of his touch. I dropped my forehead to his shoulder, overwhelmed and weak.
"I shouldn't let you take me." I whispered.
His manly chuckle rumbled against my collarbone. I could feel his breath -minty breath, I noticed- against my skin. "You're already mine."
(*&^%$#!#$%^&*()_
Pain… was searing my brain.
My stomach felt as if someone beat it with a baseball bat, my mouth felt like a dessert and my body as if I had run a triathlon. I couldn't help, however, to feel a bit… satisfied?
"Alice?" I mumbled, blinking slowly, trying to remember where I was. I was in a large bed, still wearing my dress and underwear… oh, dear. I had no panties. "ALICE!" I screamed, scrambling from the bed, trying to make sense of this. The bathroom door opened and out came the beautiful stranger wearing a towel… only a towel.
Little by little, all of my normal, human functions –like breathing- were slowly shutting down. My mouth hung open, my lids disappeared to the back of my head, I think my tongue was hanging out, I'm not sure.
He was drying his odd colored hair with a small hand towel. I noticed my dress was wrinkled and my face felt dry and dirty. Not a pretty sight.
"Hello," I gaped, standing. His voice was melted velvet, just as I remembered it. "My name is Edward Cullen. You're Bella Swan."
"I am." I replied uneasily. He stepped closer to me, like a predator staking his prey.
"I didn't think you would be this… mouthwatering." Wow, that word coming out of his mouth? Orgasm worthy… well, anything he said deserved to be recorded and then worshipped at a temple. Wow, I was creepy. "My self control is destroyed." What is he saying?
"I-…-" The bile rose in my throat, making me clench my mouth closed and run towards the nearest toilet. I heard his heavy footsteps as I locked the door, and I let myself go for a moment.
I gargled and spit it out while I took a look at myself in the mirror, mussed up hair, flushed skin, smudged make up… I looked thoroughly hung-over. Groaning loudly, I washed my face and brushed my teeth with a pink toothbrush. It had my name inscribed in it. Weird…
"Why is there a toothbrush with my name on it?" I asked Edward, coming out of the bathroom after a much needed shower.
"Who cares about toothbrushes when you're in a towel?" he murmured quietly, almost to himself, coming closer to me. I backed away and tightened the hold of my fluffy protection. He sighed in frustration, still in that freaking towel. "Alice had it made for you. She knew you were staying over, so she was… prepared." I snorted. "She's just Alice, now how about we address the 'towel' issue?"
"Um, Edward, is it?" I said nonchalantly, knowing his name would be burned in my memory as the hottest hook up of my life, even if I didn't remember any of it. "I don't know you. I mean, I know you're Alice's brother, but that's about it in the info department on you. And I don't remember anything from last night, just doing shots with Alice. So, if you don't mind, a little recap would be very helpful."
"Recap: Alice's hand found its way into Jazz's pants, I thought you were hot, got you even more drunk, took you up here, gave you head, you came, you passed out. End of story… happy?"
I shoved at his shoulder. "Getting me drunk was a very rude thing to do."
"I gave you head, Bella. That was my charitable action of the year."
"You're a pig."
He stepped closer, trapping me against the closed bathroom door. Why the hell did I close it? "Oink," He leaned over, his jaw tightening and his smile falling from his face. His hands dropped to his sides before he made his way over to the door. He was leaving.
"I don't trust you." I surprised myself with the firmness of my voice. He seemed pleased, somehow.
"You shouldn't." he agreed very seriously before exiting. I frowned, smelling my hair, wondering why his change of demeanor all of the sudden. It bothered me.
A box sat perched at the night stand with my name on it. There was a pair of blue jeans, underwear and a t-shirt with some flip flops. I changed into the clothes, gathered my dirty ones and headed out. My purse was still nowhere in sight, but I knew that if I found Alice she would know where everything is and all would be ok.
I felt so embarrassed. First I get drunk at a party hosted by people I barely know (some I don't even know at all), then I get rape head (if that even exists) from the host's brother –whom is a beautiful, popsicle-lickable asshole-, and then, finally, wander in a 4 story house wearing clothes that were probably purchased by said hosts, looking for a ride home.
I was such a class act.
I heard voices coming from downstairs. Good, people together meant either living room or kitchen, and that meant exits and, if I was lucky, food and water. The voices got louder, but I couldn't make out what they were talking about.
"Bella," I had never been happier to hear Alice's voice in my life. "There you are, I made you breakfast!"
There they were, the Cullens. I noticed they were all pale and mysterious and beautiful, looking so unique and untouchable.
Jasper sat at the far end of the living room, looking like some kind of Abercrombie/GQ ad, with his shaggy blond hair and blue eyes, tight body and lazy smirk. I had seen him a few times before, when I visited Alice at her apartment in one of our meetings; he was pretty nice and charming every time I saw him. I noticed him giving me a nod, which I returned rather uneasily. I was, after all, making my walk of shame.
Rosalie, I remembered her from last night sat next to Emmett, wearing jeans and a tank top, making me feel dirtier despite my thorough shower. Emmett wore gym shorts and nothing else, revealing a chiseled, manly chest. He winked at me and began chanting 'Walk of shame, Walk of shame' under his breath. A car pulled out of the driveway, I could only see the top of the familiar bronze hair as he pulled away from the large window; I felt like It was mocking me.
I flipped Emmett off, earning a giggle from all of them before Alice dragged me into the pristine kitchen.
I sat on one of the stools while she served me eggs, bacon and some pancakes on a pristine white plate. "You slut, you totally banged Edward." In that precise moment an older woman walked into the kitchen. "Hey, mom,"
I grinned sheepishly and stood to greet her. "Bella Swan, I'm Alice's friend." I turned to Alice. "And I did not bang anyone."
She laughed at my expression. "It's so great to meet you, please, call me Esme. We've been so exited!" she enveloped me in a warm hug, taking me by surprise. She had caramel eyes and the same pale skin, her hair perfectly styled despite the early hours. She was as beautiful as the rest of them. I wondered how alike they looked, even though they weren't related at all. "Please, continue eating, Bella."
While I ate, I watched a hushed conversation happen quickly between mother and daughter while they did the dishes. If I hadn't been paying attention towards them I wouldn't have noticed. I noticed they always tended to have those kinds of secret exchanges. Alice and Jasper did it all the time when I was with them. It made me feel uneasy.
"So, you're Edward's girlfriend now?" Esme quipped in, sipping from a mug with an inquisitive look on her face.
I choked a little on my egg and drank a bit of OJ. "No, god no… I mean, no offence to your son, but… um… no." I laughed uneasily as Alice chuckled quietly behind her mother.
"Probably fucked him seven ways till Sunday," Alice muttered teasingly under her breath, earning a giggle from Esme.
My eyes almost popped out of my sockets and my skin burned with embarrassment. "Alice!" I hissed.
"I read that 54 percent of relationships start in hook ups, maybe Bella and Edward fit into that percentage." Esme continued, making me feel even worse.
"Oh dear god…" I muttered, wanting to disappear. "Please, stop… nothing happened."
"We're embarrassing Bella! We're just teasing you," Esme cried with a laugh. "I'm sorry, darling; it's just that we've been rooting for Ed to get a mate for a long time."
"Mate…" I laughed slightly.
Esme's eyes widened slightly while Alice cut in. "Excuse my mother's terms, she's a little old-fashioned."
"It's just that when I think of mate I think of together for life… like soul mates or something."
"Well, Bella, when true love arrives, it will stick to you for life," then, with the most ominous tone she said: "Even if you don't want it to." I swallowed and watched her go.
"So, how was it?" she smirked.
"Do you really want to know what happened with your brother, Alice? That's way too twisted."
"Uh… yeah! Was he like gentle? Or wild?" she did this weird tiger motion, making me giggle.
"Gross," I muttered.
"Tell me!"
"I don't remember, ok?" I admitted, finishing the last of my breakfast and washing it with OJ.
"What do you mean?"
I struggled to explain myself. "I woke up, totally disoriented, wondering where you were, and your brother comes out and tells me we did… stuff." Alice's eyes darkened and her smile fell. "All I remember is doing shots with you."
"So you did it?" her voice was harsh, her nostrils flaring. I shook my head quickly, fairly certain I didn't feel as if I'd done that. "What did you do?" she said each word slowly, making me visibly shrink in my seat. Why was she so angry? Wasn't she playful just before? "I was kidding, Bella. Did he do anything?"
"Um… he uh…" I struggled with the words. "He gave me head." I admitted, closing my eyes.
"He touched you…" I had never seen her so worked up; I mean she was seething, growling curses like a mad woman.
"Hey, I'm not mad or anything. I mean, if anything, I'm glad I did something… crazy for once. I was just angry he kind of just left abruptly this morning."
"God, he is so careless." She cried. "I knew he was going to do something like this… why didn't I see it?" She clenched her tiny fists, her knuckles turning white while she slammed a plate into the sink. I watched it shatter into pieces. "He wasn't supposed to do anything with you," Jasper came in, whispering something in her ear, calming her. They had another of those hushed conversations, this one more heated than any other I'd seen. Alice's hisses made me flinch. After a moment, she turned to me, the image of coolness. "Bells, let me give you a ride home, ok?" I nodded, cautious of her moods.
As I held my stuff and waited for Alice with my things in my arms I felt a presence behind me. "Alice is waiting outside," I turned, startled, dropping everything. Edward looked irritated, just standing looking at me. I crouched to pick up my things, mad at myself for not noticing his return so I could prepare mentally. He didn't help me when I finished picking up. "You shouldn't trust strangers." I frowned at his cryptic tone. He looked conflicted for a minute. His beautiful face turned into a frown.
"Bella," I heard Alice call me, cutting our conversation short. I walked by him, feeling my heart being ripped apart. I hopped into Alice's car, taking one last look at the house in which the strangest night of my life took place.
I was definitely coming back.
(*&^%$#!#$%^&*(
Saturday was very cold in Seattle. While most people wore heavy coats, I decided to wear my heaviest sweater and my beanie, because I didn't feel like wearing a god damn coat.
Yeah, I was kind of fearless now.
I hadn't heard from Alice since the party, much less from bi (as in bipolar, not the other thing), but I was ok with it, I needed some time by myself to sort out what happened that night.
I decided to go to my favorite coffee place that morning, a very eclectic, Boho-hippie kind of place with amazing coffee. I was preparing myself for my weekend at the hospital. Even though I hated that part of my life, I knew it was my responsibility as a niece and daughter.
I ordered a large vanilla latte with cinnamon and diet sugar. The cashier took my name, and as I was about to give him the money, a pale hand appeared over my shoulder, startling me, paying for my coffee.
"Keep the change," Edward pushed at my shoulders so I sat at the nearest couch. It was warm and fuzzy.
"What is it with you and paying for my things? Let me inform you I am very-…-" his hand covered my lips, effectively shutting me up. He was so close to me, his eyes right in front of mine. I resisted the urge to peek out my tongue to taste his skin. I bet he tasted as good as he looked. Then he did something completely unexpected: he pressed his lips against his hand, closing his eyes. I stopped breathing and I was sure my eyes couldn't get any wider; seriously, I think I sprained a facial muscle.
While I was in trance, he stood to wait for my coffee, looking so out of place among the usual bohemian-type people that hung out at the coffee place. It still baffled me, how he could blend in and yet stand out; it was exhilarating. Today his long, grey pea coat covered most of his grey jeans. His boot-clad feet tapped impatiently against the wooden floor.
"Belle," the barista exclaimed, holding the paper cup.
"It's Bella," he almost growled, taking the cup from him and walking towards me hastily.
I sipped my coffee, trying to make sense of everything. "I followed you." He admitted in a whisper, the first sentence directed at me. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, my hands felt clammy, so I rested them against my denim covered thighs, preventing any accidents involving my clumsiness and hot coffee. I'd never been stalked before, other than by a squirrel in 5th grade. I'm serious; it just stayed perched at my window, staring at me. It freaked me out. Right now I was, yes, freaked out, but in a way that I kind of liked. This man was a mystery and I needed answers.
I was, after all, a cop's daughter.
"I need you to… explain." I sat a bit straighter, gathering my thoughts. "Why did you really approach me at the party? And don't tell me it was because I was hot. Please, spare me." I figured we needed to start from the beginning if I was going to get his stalker behavior.
He chuckled humorlessly, running a pale hand through his hair. "You don't see yourself clearly, not as I do." His eyes shifted from the table to my eyes. I noticed they were a striking green color, and the dark circles under his eyes were a bit more prominent. His beautiful smile turned into a sneer, suddenly. "How all men think of you,"
"How do you know what they think?" he exhaled quickly, shifting his eyes yet again, across the room.
"Are you alone?" he asked, shifting his eyes again.
"Yes,"
He seemed angry by this. "Why are you alone all the time? I found you at the party alone. You're alone now. You were alone at the hospital."
"You remembered?" I asked timidly, blushing.
"I remember everything." He seemed bitter by that fact. Leaning in, he began in a very low voice, hypnotizing me with his breath and voice. "Nothing is simple, Bella, especially with my family. They always have an… ulterior motive." He paused, looking around once again. "Doesn't help that I know everything that happens," he exhaled a chuckle, running a hand through his hair. "I always say too much around you."
"You're not making any sense." I sipped my coffee again. "So don't worry about revealing anything."
"Oh Bella," he began, an air of sadness in his voice. "I wish you could remember."
"You told me-… that night, that you'd take me." I began, gathering my memories. "And I said that I shouldn't let you, but you said I was already yours. It made me feel good."
"You really shouldn't say things like that." His jaw was tense, so much that it bothered me. I reached forward, touching his cool skin. His jaw slacked and his eyes closed tightly.
"When you touched me I felt cold, I don't know why. You are cold. I thought you were an illusion of some sort. I was afraid." I whispered.
He looked at me with a curious expression, moving his head so my hand couldn't reach his face and asked "Afraid of what?"
"Of you not existing, maybe you weren't real, too good to be true."
"I'm a monster." He replied; his beautiful face so troubled and his voice so harsh. "Made to allure you and trick you, I am an illusion; just not the kind you think."
"So you're some kind of hypocrite."
"I'm forced to be one." His voice shook and his fists clenched. "I don't want to be one." His eyes softened. "I don't want to hurt you, Bella."
"Why?" I whispered, leaning into him, so enraptured by this beautiful man, full of emotions.
"'Why?' such a simple question, so many answers," he muttered.
"I want the truth, Edward,"
He stood then, looking down at me. "Come with me," he whispered. I stood, and as if we were magnets we left the coffee place.
I felt so stupid, following a stranger to where he wanted, as I did that night. But there was something about him that drew me in, like I was Alice and he was the rabbit hole, just waiting to consume me and take me to wonderland, my fate.
I wanted to believe that he was mine.
The harsh coldness hit me with full force. Edward grimaced, noticing me shivering. "That sweater is too thin for this weather." He removed his heavy coat, revealing a light blue button down covered by a black cardigan. I shivered again, noticing the defined muscles of his muscular chest, this time not because of the cold. "Take this," After putting it on and buttoning it, with Edward's help, we walked over to his silver Volvo.
He opened the door for me, making me shiver all over again by his chivalry; only I would find this gesture sexy. "Are you still cold?" he asked as I climbed in the car.
"It was a good shiver." I replied shyly. He bit his lip, very briefly and harshly, before bending to be at eye level with me, like he did at the coffee shop. I wondered if he was going to kiss me.
"You are too tempting for your own good." I parted my lips, his proximity making my body feel warm, waiting for him to do something. I wanted badly to curl my fingers over his neck and pull him to me, to kiss his pouty lips. My back was arched and my breath was coming out in pants, the tension was thick in the air while we just looked at each other. When I finally thought he was going to kiss me, he leaned over and buckled the seatbelt before closing the door. I closed my eyes in relief, relaxing into the seat, and opened them to find Edward sitting on the driver's seat.
"How did you get here so fast?" I asked, startled.
"I walked, Bella." He replied simply, pulling out of the parking space out to who knows where.
We drove across town and into the woods in complete silence. I noticed we had left the city for about 20 minutes and were headed towards a deserted road. I could only hope he wasn't a serial killer. I looked over at him, finally giving into sneaking a peek at him. His face was serene, his shoulders were squared and his back straight; he was in control. That thought unsettled me.
Finally, we arrived at a spacious one-story house. It had glass walls and wooden details and what appeared to be a pool on the backyard. I turned to Edward, frowning.
"This is yours?" he nodded with a sheepish smile. "It's beautiful," I looked back at the place, feeling in awe of it still.
He chuckled. "You continue to surprise me, Bella."
"Why is that?" I asked, turning my flirt on.
"Most girls would say 'this place is huge' but not you…" I smirked, knowing I was no gold digger.
This was the moment I said 'I'm not like most girls' or something along those lines, but since I'm Bella, I had to just say something… Bella-ish. "Well I'm not a gold digger, asshole." I snapped, getting angry for whatever reason.
This sent him into a full blown laugh fit, his head thrown back and his Adam's apple taunting me. When he calmed he turned to me, shaking his head. "Silly girl," then, as fast as he got into the car, he was opening the door for me, smiling down at me.
I realized Edward Cullen was not normal, by any means. "What are you, some kind of super human athlete? Jesus, stop moving," he chuckled, crinkling his beautiful eyes and showing his pearl white teeth. We walked the few feet to his door, Edward still chuckling.
"You are too observant for your own good," he said quietly, almost reverently.
"I haven't figured you out yet, as observant as you think I am."
"Don't give up, beautiful girl, you might just solve the riddle." He smiled; that secret smile again.
When he opened the door, he bent to take off his shoes while I followed suit. His living room was all white with orange details, and his kitchen looked like it had never been used. While he put our shoes and coats somewhere, I told him about his unusual kitchen, he told me he never ate home, again with that secret smile. I began to hate it a little.
"Want a tour?" he offered, barefoot and still sheepish. This man was so confusing. One minute he's cryptic and devilish, the other he's sheepish and shy and then he's funny and heinous. I nodded, following him.
He had a pretty awesome place; two bedrooms, and two bathroom house with an entertainment room. While he spoke about how he bought the house, I was more interested in the fact that he had no pictures of his childhood or adolescence, only recent ones with his family, never alone.
"And this is my room," he ran his hands through his hair, suddenly nervous. I smiled at him and entered. His walls were painted a dark blue color, and it matched his king size bed comforted. The bed looked like right out of an IKEA catalogue – it was probably from a more expensive place, but I didn't really look at any other non-IKEA catalogues- with two night stands on either side of if made of the same dark wood of the bed. One wall was filled with CDs and the other with books, it immediately drew me in. I ran my fingers through his extensive collection of books, all of my favorites were there- Jane Eyre, to kill a mockingbird, Catcher in the Rye, Pride and Prejudice, The divine Comedy and many more- as well as some unknown, ancient books from different languages.
"You have so many books." I exhaled, looking over at the threshold, where he still stood, shifting awkwardly.
"I've bought them through the years," he said vaguely, still holding something back.
"How old are you?" I sat on his bed, feeling the softness of the comforter.
"Twenty-eight," I frowned, shaking my head.
"You're not twenty-eight."
"I am, today." He replied with a small smile. "Some days I'm a hundred-and-seven, others I am seventeen." He walked over to me, sitting next to me, looking exhausted. "You, however," he looked up into my eyes. "Are eternal beauty, fragile and naïve, so easy and pretty, Bella…" he looked away, leaving me speechless.
"I'm just 25, Edward." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Wait, easy?"
"You're easy to be around and pretty. You are so fragile I'm afraid to touch you, but I know you're naïve enough to let me. In my eyes, your beauty is eternal, whether you are twenty-five or ninety." His hand brushed against my thigh. My whole body felt on fire. I felt the familiar stirring whenever he was near me. "I'm dangerous." He growled, his eyes fixed in the hand that brushed my thigh.
"I don't mind." Again, he chuckled.
"Naïve little girl," he murmured, leaning into me. "You tempt me so that I'm a stupid mess of want and lust. How I want you, beautiful girl." Why can't all men speak like him? He's like a modern Shakespeare. "You are so innocent."
"Edward, I want you." I needed him to touch me. My body sang and cried for his touch.
I was pinned to the bed with Edward on top of me, both of my hands above my head suddenly. His cool hands were touching my wrists and his hard body pressed against my curves, fitting so perfectly. I whimpered in anticipation while his breath brushed over me, making me dizzy with desire. "You really shouldn't say these things." He warned; his lips so close to mine. Suddenly, I was turned over, my head buried into the comforter. "Stay," he inhaled deeply with his nose buried into the hair that gathered at the base of my neck. I was panting with anticipation and his stalling was torture.
I clenched my eyes shut, concentrating on him, how he dominated me, making me a willing participant in everything he wanted to do. I felt his nose run down my back, his hands were at my sides not yet touching me. "My sweet, fragrant, Bella," his words enveloped me once again into that warm cocoon. Then, when his mouth hovered above the waistband of my jeans, right where it met my t-shirt, he nudged the fabric away with his nose; his breath caressed the skin of my lower back, while his lips pressed against the place. He was teasing me. Butterfly kisses ran over my lower back, all through my tail bone, over and over, then they became longer, more heated, and yet they were cold, so cold. My fists clenched when his tongue came out and swept over my back dimples, so quickly. My body shivered at the coolness of his tongue.
"You're so cold." I whimpered. His nose nudged the fabric aside further while his mouth kissed my skin in long, wet kisses, sometimes his tongue would sweep over the overheated skin, making my heart skip a beat. When he finally removed my shirt, I was a quivering mess.
"Bella, you shudder and moan, and I'm only getting started." He whispered into my ear before kissing it, and then he ran the tip of his tongue over the outline of my ear, breathing deeply, earning him a deep moan. One of his hands gathered my hair and pulled it up, exposing my neck to him. He kissed downward, each kiss deeper, adding more pressure with his tongue until reaching my shoulder. His tongue took a long swipe from my neck to my earlobe, and I was a goner. My eyes rolled to the back of my head. My body shook and trashed, my hips rubbing against the bed until the shudder subsided.
Edward's body tensed. "Did you just…?"
"Ahenw…" I am so smart and eloquent; orgasms kill neurons.
Inhaling sharply, he turned me over, looking into my eyes and kissing my lips firmly. My brain was a pile of goo and couldn't process anything at that moment, so I just grabbed a fistful of his hair and kissed the hell out of him. He was insistent and rough, and I reciprocated the feeling. His hands were urgent, snapping and breaking fabrics.
He stopped, looking down at me. "I need you, Bella." His voice had an edge, like if he didn't do it he would die.
He kissed me again after my clothes disappeared, and then he was kneeling beside me. Tugging his wild hair I let out a groan, he moaned loudly and asked me to do it again, I did, harder, enjoying the feeling of Edward needing me. His tongue made another appearance, now running down my chest, over the tops of my breasts.
My bra was white and thick, not necessarily sexy but pretty enough. His fingers worked on my bra and released my breasts. Sitting back, he propped me up on the pillows behind me while he palmed my breasts in awe, kneading them gently and watching them bounce when he moved his hand. "So pink and yummy…" he mumbled, kissing each nipple almost reverently. I clenched my eyes shut. He sucked and licked my nipples thoroughly, moaning occasionally, sending vibrations against my sensitive peaks. "Come for me, Bella." He murmured with a nip. A high scream came out of my mouth while I died a bit more, this time I reached between my legs and rubbed my clit furiously over my panties through my orgasm.
Edward chuckled again, still sucking on my nipple. My whole body felt as if it was going to shatter to pieces in pleasure. Could it be, 'death by orgasm'? "I missed it again," he pulled away and hovered over me.
"Missed what?" I replied, breathless.
"Your coming face," I laughed slightly, kissing his cold lips.
"If you keep this up there are many more to come- pun intended,"
His face scrunched up in a serious frown. He ripped my panties with a flicker of his wrist, eliciting a gasp from me.
"Wait," I exclaimed, pushing him away a bit. "Can I… see you?" I asked shyly, covering my breasts. He removed my hands and kissed each bud with a smile and he stood in all of his glory. His body was lanky but muscular in a soft, delicate yet masculine way. His manhood stood proudly. It was very generous in size, it was thick and moist and I wanted it inside me. I noticed he had little chest hair, the same odd color of his head. He was beautiful.
"Say the words," he taunted, rolling a condom on. I watched with hooded eyes as he pumped his length a few times, all while watching me. He crawled over to me, nudging my legs apart.
"Shit," his head barely slipped in before he pulled out, going back to rubbing it against me. My body was too hot, my skin felt clammy and the ache I felt for him was almost painful.
"Say it, Bella." He ordered in a dark, deep voice, pressing himself into my clit.
"Oh god, fuck me, Edward," I moaned like a whore, and finally, he thrusted into me with a grunt. My hands flew to his back and my nails dug into his skin. He let out a strangled moan before thrusting into me again with the same force.
He settled in a fast rhythm while I raised my hips to meet his, but he was too fast. He knelt, still inside me, and held my hips in one place while he thrusted. I wiggled and fisted the sheets in abandon, trying to control the sounds I made. My legs tightened around his waist before he lifted me off the bed and against his chest, my arms wrapping around his shoulders for leverage. We were nose to nose, our breaths mixed together while he kept me still while he thrusted. Shifting a bit to the side, he found a spot inside me that made me scream. "Oh, do that again." He repeated motion, sending the most terrific shivers all over my body. He did it again and again until I was coming so hard around him. He hugged me to him while I rode off my orgasm, and tried to keep me stilled while his body shuddered.
"Bella, I know you're tired, but this is necessary."
"Wha-…?-" but I didn't finish my thought. His teeth pressed against my neck, so harshly. I felt the tearing of the flesh and sending a searing pain over my body. I screamed in agony while he groaned, sucking on the wound. Then I came so unexpectedly. I felt so odd, my body shook and I screamed in sheer pleasure. "Oh god, that… ugh! Edward… Shit, shit, shit… for the love of… son of a … FUUUUUCK!" I quivered and screamed and clung to him. "Stop! I can't… no! Oh god!" nothing had ever felt like this, I didn't get it, what was he doing?
"Close your eyes, my love."
#$%^&*()
In a moment of clarity, I could hear voices.
"Did you turn her?"
"She's still alive."
"So she's immune? It's true then?"
"The test was passed, let's take her."
"Already booked the tickets,"
"Ow! What was that for?"
"For bonding with our lab rat,"
#$%^&*()
"Flight 874 to Alaska,"
"Sorry, she's sleeping."
#$%^&*()_
"We should have brought her a goddamn coat or something, she's freezing."
"You care about her."
"I-… great, now she has a vision…Ow! Stop hitting me!"
"You… IDIOT! You like her."
"No, I fucked her so I could bite her."
"I swear to god, Edward if you fall in love with her I will end you."
"It is just an experiment."
"Better be, bitch."
"Nice, Emmett, so you're like a gangster now?"
"Hey! I saw 8 mile last night, awesome movie by the way, and the attitude stuck. I'm gangster, boy."
"Baby, the movie is about a rapper."
"Yeah, a white kid who rap and goes to the hood,"
"Eminem can pull it off, you can't, baby, I'm sorry."
"Nice conversation we're having here,"
#$%^&*()_+
My body felt sore and I felt disoriented. The last thing I remembered was Edward biting. He just left me.
"Bella?" a handsome, blond man approached me from his spot in the couch. We were in an old fashioned study.
"Who- who are you?" I looked down and saw that I was wearing Edward's shirt my own jeans. The man sat next to me in the loveseat. I noticed he had the same pale complexion and beauty as the Cullens.
"I'm Carslile Cullen," he began, taking a deep breath.
"Where's Edward?" I looked around, taking in the unfamiliar setting. The ceiling was tall, the decoration in deep red and wood, giving it an old fashioned feel to it. There were rows of books, almost as if it were a library.
"He won't be of necessity anymore…" he gave me an apologetic smile. Nothing about him seemed dangerous, only the fact that he was a stranger and had locked me into his study. "I won't hurt you, Bella."
"I'm not afraid," I replied honestly. "You won't hurt me," I didn't understand why I felt so secure with this family. A normal person would be whimpering, crying and begging for their freedom, but I wanted to be there, like I had to be there for some reason.
He looked at me curiously. "How can you be so sure?"
"I don't know, Mr. Cullen."
"Carslile, please," he sighed, frowning. "You don't look different, maybe older but not really."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't want to force you into anything…" he began.
"Carslile, please tell me where Edward is."
"Bella, do you remember, when you lived in Forks?"
I shuddered. "High school is kind of impossible to forget, especially if you're me." He chuckled. "I do remember." I added.
With a smile, he continued. "When you where about fifteen…?" he prompted.
"Um… the killings? Yeah, I remember." How could I forget? It was the talk of Forks for about three years. "My dad is the chief of police. He told me stories about it, but never really got into detail. Where is this going?"
"Do you remember when you woke up at a hospital?" I nodded.
"No one wanted to explain. I mean, they told me I had an accident, but I didn't believe them."
"Who is… them?"
"The police force, my dad included." I chuckled. "He was very quiet, especially after the accident. Why? Do you know what happened?"
"Not in great detail, but yes. You see, Bella, it all started when some bodies were found by the high way. They were drained of blood, no bruises or cuts, just two small incisions on their necks. The police force handled these cases very… carefully. Your father, being a field officer and paramedic, yes, it was an official profession, strictly from Forks," I chuckled, remembering his grumbling about 'seeing way too much blood' "Anyways, found a couple of bodies that weren't completely drained. Two girls, and brought them to the hospital, where I worked."
"You worked there? Was your family with you?"
He sighed. "Yes, but I will explain that later."
"I would have noticed them, I'm sure. Wait, what happened to the girls?"
"They started recovering, very slowly, but steady. One had a cardiac arrest and the other a heart attack; they were both 22 years old." His eyes were sad. I kind of felt like giving him hug.
"They were so young, how is that possible?"
He shrugged, running a hand through his hair. "Heart attacks are very rare, and almost impossible to happen in people that age. Maybe if they were obese, but they were in perfect shape, they were healthy… nothing showed in their blood tests." This startled me: the fact that there was no frustration in his voice. I would have expected him to feel somehow angry with himself for not saving them. He was just giving me facts.
"Were you sad when they died?"
He was slightly confused. "Why would I be?"
Bingo, "I mean, you're a doctor, right? And you couldn't save someone, and to top it all off you don't even know why they died. I would feel sad…"
"Over the years you learn to detach yourself from people." His voice was wistful. "People die, they are fragile and temporary. Death is coming to them inevitably."
He was speaking in third person. "Well aren't you included in the people category? Do doctors have a completely different one?" I tried to joke, but it felt flat.
"You'll understand soon enough."
"I hope so."
He stood, pacing slowly around the room. "When we transferred them to the morgue, the bodies kept disappearing."
"Oh! I remember that." I remember overhearing Jessica Stanley talk about the missing bodies over lunch. "There was this girl at my school that started a rumor that vampires were attacking Forks." I snickered but stopped as I saw Carslile glare at me.
"Your father would always tell me about breaking the news to the family. It was his job, to him. Several times I tried to do it myself; since I was the doctor and all, but not once did I do it. He had to stand the father's yelling, the girlfriend's or boyfriend's shock, the mothers wails..."
"I'm sorry."
"He said it created some trouble at home?" he stopped pacing and looked at me.
"I always heard them fighting, but they would never really tell me why." now that I thought about it, they always kept me in the dark about everything, even after their divorce, they never said why they fought. "Even after they divorced and mom moved out when I was 15, they never spoke about their fights. I just let it go, I guess."
"Your mom worried. Your father's frustration was too much for her; a policeman not being able to solve a mystery."
"It's like a doctor not knowing what killed their patients." I snapped quickly, still bothered by his detachment to patients.
His glare came back, effectively shutting me up. "Charlie was terrified of leaving the house. He always told me about the late night paroling through town, carrying silver bullets," he laughed. "After the occurrences stopped, everyone was back to normal. I moved here and Charlie stayed in Forks."
"What about me?"
He smirked. "You were a victim of the attacks."
"But… I didn't die." I replied stupidly. "Who were the attackers?"
"Vampires, Bella." He hissed, showing a pair of very white fangs. Then, after a shift of his head, his teeth were back to normal. My whole body shook and my hands were clammy. What. The. Hell?
"Does… does…?" I stuttered. "Who? What?"
"We, the Cullens, are a coven of vampires. You were attacked by one of the nomads."
"Nomads? Vampires?" I felt tears spring to my eyes.
The door opened, revealing a very worried Alice. "Bella, don't cry." They tried to touch me, but I cringed away. "Calm down."
"CALM DOWN?" I stood, creating some space. "You tell me you're vampires, show me your fangs and you expect me to CALM DOWN?"
"Dad, I told you this would happen if you showed the fangs." Alice whined, shaking her head.
"It was a reflex, baby, I'm sorry." Carslile turned his compassionate eyes at me. "Bella, honey, sit, please, we won't hurt you."
"EDWARD BIT ME," I threw my arms over my head.
"Well, yes, we needed to bring you here." He was talking in an oddly soothing voice, but I was a goner. I mean VAMPIRES?
"You wouldn't have come otherwise," Alice added. "We needed you here."
"Lab rat," I whispered, remembering the voices. "I'M A LAB RAT?"
"Bella, I only said that in the spur of the moment,"
"God knows what else you'd do in the 'spur of the moment',"
Carslile disappeared in a blink (literally) and was before me. "I am a three hundred and eighty-nine vampire, Bella. I've seen and been near more blood and humans than most doctors. I don't 'do' spur of the moment things. I am in control all the time. Please, Bella, sit and we'll explain." It wasn't fear that made me sit down; it was the fact that he really gained my trust with that statement. "The vampire that attacked you was Edward. When he saw the… reaction you got… he had to let you go."
"What reaction did I have?"
"You came, Bella." Alice dead-panned. I blushed furiously, remembering when he bit me before.
"Is there something wrong with me?" I was crying now, looking at my lap, too ashamed to look at them.
They both chuckled. "We tell her we're vampires and there's something wrong with her." Carslile muttered, earning a snicker from Alice. "None of this is your fault, Bella. We're just curious about you."
"How so?" I asked timidly.
"Well, you are immune to our venom. We want to study you."
"Study me?" I looked at Alice, almost hyperventilating. "Why?"
They shrugged. "We don't get many mythological creatures just running around the world."
"Dude, I'm human, not a friggin' vampire like you guys." My breath was coming in short pants; I was definitely hyperventilating.
Carslile handed me a paper bag for me to breathe. "Let me get water,"
"I'm not drinking anything from you people." I muttered, squeezing my eyes shut and relaxing into the plush leather. "Probably poisoned with vampire… spit or whatever,"
Alice snorted. "Our spit isn't venomous." She waved her hand dismissively. "Just our fangs," as I opened my eyes, she flashed me her freaky fangs, scaring the shit out of me. I shrieked and jumped away from her.
"Now, now, no need to be afraid." Emmett appeared out of nowhere with a rope in his hands. That did it for me.
The last thing I remembered was falling into hard arms and the familiar scent of honey. "Hang on,"
#$%^&*(
Edward was driving, his arms and body tight with tension.
"You're safe now," he whispered when he saw me wake up.
"Is it true?" I knew the answer already.
"They wanted to study you. Apparently you're a shield," his tone was bitter. "Human, immune to our vampire powers," he added.
"A shield?"
"I haven't seen one in the flesh in about fifty years. You're still mortal, Bella." I was a shield.
"Am I a mythological creature or something?"
"No, love, just extremely lucky." He smirked, parking outside a hotel on the side of the road. "Come on"
We checked into the flimsy motel and lied in bed, not even bothering to remove our shoes. It felt like a goodbye. "I love you." He said tensely. "I'm not supposed to, but I do."
I sobbed into his shirt, clinging to him. "I do, too. Don't leave me."
"I can't live in your world."
"Then let someone turn me… Alice maybe?"
"My family wants to study you as a lab rat, and make you my mate when they turned you."
"Let's do that," I looked into his eyes, kissing his lips. "I want to be with you."
"Bella, no"
"Don't you want me?" I asked in a small voice.
"I'm worried you might not want me in the future."
"No, that will never happen, I swear."
"Bella," he kissed me chastely. "I can't promise you're a life together, but I can promise you're a life."
"I'd rather die,"
"I know, that's the issue,"
"You'll only make things worse with your family. Take me back to them, maybe they'll turn me."
"No, Bella, I won't let you."
#$%^&*()
When I awoke I was back at the chair, wearing my own clothes, watching Carla sleep.
Was it a dream?
I touched my skin, looking for anything, but found nothing.
The hospital was quiet. The only sounds in the floor were my heavy footsteps. The smell of plastic (damn smell), sickness and cheap detergent was thick in the air, making it impossible for any healthy person to breathe. Fresh air was missed by my nostrils and lungs. I felt suffocated.
My feet were sore as I ran the 10 flights of stairs, my calves were literally burning, and a slight sheen of sweat was dampening my forehead. But I still ran, fast and steady. I wondered where this new found equilibrium had come from; it was as if my clumsiness never existed. My lips curled into a smile with that thought, but it was still somewhat forced; not even in my accomplishments made me happy.
The EXIT sign was finally in my line of sight. But something stopped me. Long, familiar fingers curled around my arm, halting my steps completely and probably bruising my skin. I gritted my teeth together, pushing the tears away. I told myself to ignore him, knowing that if I ripped my arm from his death grip he would let go. He always let me go.
That was the problem.
I sniffled as his grip loosened; he always heard everything. I could feel his presence behind me. I knew he was close enough to taste my scent, but never to touch. He never let me touch as I liked, he was always the one making the decisions. He said it spoiled me and destroyed him; I was to starve from his perfection and he was to endure his eternal curse.
Mouthwatering
"No, you are, my love." I hated when I said things aloud without my knowledge.
His voice caressed and wrapped me in a velvet and sex trap I had no will to escape. I yearned for him. His voice, his eyes, his hands… Everything about him made me wild.
"Let me go," I whispered.
I sniffled again, this time the tears flowed without a warning. I hated myself from crying in front of him. I hated myself for my weakness.
And, as I knew he would, he let me go.