WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE AND DISTURBING SCENES
KIDS, COWARDS OR LAMPS SHOULD NOT READ THIS CHAPTER!
ENJOY IT (If you want)!
CHAPTER 3 – MY BEST WORST FRIEND
Joel Hamster was taken in Miami prison and Horatio went in his office. Eric and the rest of the CSI agents were still stunned by Horatio's case resolution.
No one would have been not astonished seeing his boss react in such way during an interrogatory, but also understand who killed someone simply looking at the body. Horatio said he didn't see the murder happening, so maybe someone would think he is hiding something. But it's not Horatio style, he is not that kind of cop: he never accepted bundles, he is probably the most attached at his work person in the entire world ("To protect and to serve"). He only wears shirts and jackets (even with 45°C on direct sunlight), he only wears Ray Ban sunglasses (day and night), he has never be seen with a pajama or in slippers, someone think he even sleeps dressed like a James Bond flick. So what is his secret?
Eric and Ryan decided that coffee would have been a good start for this new investigation, so heading to the lab, where a very big boiler of volcanicly hot coffee was waiting to be drunk. Eric didn't really liked coffee but when you have to remove seaweeds from a dead body all the night maybe even a cup of coffee with some acid in can be a good idea!
"Well... I have no words" said Eric taking a cup of coffee.
"I have only one word: absurd" Ryan seemed very calm.
"No ok... this is not absurd... this is... freakin' insane! I mean... What the hell? The boss just knew that Hamster was the murderer? This is not scientific, this is only... fucking magic!"
In that moment Eric's mind went back back back... when CSI was only a little Miami police cell, Alexx didn't talked with corpses and Horatio Caine wasn't Miami's Jessica Fletcher. Delko's sister Marisol was killed after Horatio married her, she was interested in voodoo practices.
"Be cool sea boy, there must be a logical explanation... You know Horatio from a longer time, did he ever act this way in the past?"
Eric knew his boss better than anyone else and he was very very used to his investigations ways: analytic, rational and very precise, not only he was the best detective he has ever known but he was also a "friend (as much a boss can be a fiend for his "slave")". Horatio was a strange man but he never acted that way.
"No, he can be a little awkward but... no, he never arrested the killer simply looking at the victim's body"
Ryan's coffee was very hot and when he was going to drink a little sip he left the cup, breaking it ofr it's falling on the floor.
"Ahh! It's hot!"
"Wow! The obsessive compulsive general handyman put KO by a cup of horrible coffee! This must the grand – champion of coolness and utility!"
"Do I need to tell you how useless and stupid are you? Who the hell sneezes on the crime weapon?" Said Ryan with a little grimace trying to find something to dilute his 400 °C tongue.
"Well "Wednesday" did you have ever done something really important for yor group? Probably even your ancestors were apathetic as you!"
Eric drank his coffee without really tasting him, well let's say it clear, he tasted that conversation more than a portion of hot chili. Unfortunately Ryan was going to put some poison in the chili.
"I can be apathetic but also very comforting! Tell Calleigh to gimme a call when she wants to stay with a REAL man!"
Like a volcano, like an explosion, like a nuclear bomb that destroys pretty much everything except a little fridge where Indiana Jones was hiding Eric and Ryan began what I like to call "Pointless Insulting Fest"!
"Fuck you!" Eric.
"Fuck YOU!" Ryan
"Shut Up!" Eric
"YOU Shut Up!" Ryan
"Shit sucker!" Eric
"Piss drinker!" Ryan (wow... what imagination...).
"Piece of shit covered in mud!" Eric.
"Road killed slob covered in mud, shit and dog piss with with a contour of dead ants, pigeon shit worms and a little bit of lemon! " Ryan.
"Big... WHAT THE HELL?" Eric.
The two agents looked at each other, Ryan had said one of the most disgusting, yet, absurd thing that a perverse human mind could imagine. When the two guys realized that (5 minutes) they laughed! Non-sense at its best! There's nothing better than the emblem of uselessness and a socially awkward man laughing at something really stupid!
"Ok... ok... (10 seconds of silence) I have a work to do!" Eric.
"Yeah... me too. See you for a coffee in... a half hour?" Ryan.
"Obviously not." Eric left the lab smiling and laughing under his mustache for his stupidity.