I know that normally I respond to each and every one of your reviews...and I would today but see Idina was epically active today...and well she did this while I was at work (woo hoo understanding bosses. Am I right?) And apparenlty something happened in the last chapter that you all just seemed to love and I don't know what that's about...LOL! And well I fully expected to be well Rachel'd over these chapters so I'll just save it all up and respond to you lovely lovely people for both of these chapters right? So good? So good! And dear God I think this might be the long ago makeover chapter! SHEESH! When did the muse get long winded on me?

"I know who I want. And that's you. I think you need to figure out the same thing."

Try as he might, Kurt couldn't stop Sam's hurt words from echoing in his head. It was a constant loop, mocking him every time he tried to just go through the regular motions of his afternoon routine. He had tried so hard to avoid this very situation and now, now he had screwed everything up.

Mercedes had warned him this was going to happen. Told him he was going to screw things up with Sam with his ridiculous feelings for Matt. And look at that, once again his best friend was one hundred percent right. If he wasn't so sure she would probably smack him at least once just on principle, he probably would have already called to let her know her perfect track record when it came to advice was still in tact.

Sitting behind the wheel of his car, Kurt rubbed his face with his hand as he contemplated how exactly to do what he realized he had to do next. It sucked and he hated it but it was best for everyone. Best for Matt, best for Quinn, best for Sam and most importantly best for himself. Clearly he wasn't ready to be in any kind of a relationship if he was still fixating on straight guys he knew would never return his feelings. It was one thing to have feelings for Zac Efron while knowing about that Vanessa Hudgens situation. There was little chance of Kurt running into Zac and Vanessa on the streets of glamorous downtime Lima, Ohio. It was another to be out there matchmaking the guy with a girl while hoping he really was singing that song just to you. Sam and Quinn were good people and neither one deserved to be hurt like that. And Sam clearly already was hurt. Kurt closed his eyes. He was officially a terrible person.

And Matt, God help him he liked Matt too much to risk destroying their friendship over this like he almost did with Finn. He could learn to forget, or at least ignore how attracted he was to Matt. He could. But he needed to be honest with what he was feeling. At least to himself. Kurt wasn't positive he could tell Matt what he was feeling without running him out of his life completely. That was a risk he wasn't willing to take.

Taking a deep breath, he did what he reasoned to be the next best thing. Sitting alone in his car, outside of Matt's house, preparing to go and celebrate a great performance just like they had planned weeks ago, Kurt finally said the words out loud.

"Matt, I like you. Way more than I should since I know you don't feel the same way. But I do. I like you. More than like you. It might be closer to the truth to say I'm crazy about you."

Slumping forward, he rested his head on the steering wheel. "And I realize I'm a moron who set up with one of my best girls and that you are in fact straight so please don't hate me when I proceed to avoid you at all costs after tonight and only talk to you in group situations. At least until these feelings go away and I can react like a normal person would."

"Are you sure you're ok man?" Matt asked for what felt like the millionth time since Kurt stepped inside the house. And just maybe if he actually believed the half-hearted "fine" that Kurt was ten seconds away from throwing out there he would let it go. But he didn't and Matt was finding he just couldn't accept Kurt didn't want to talk about something and just move on.

It didn't help matters that the movie they ended up watching in his room (seriously, he lectured himself, he really needed to figure out why he constantly landed in these situations) wasn't really holding his attention. As a joke, he had suggested a movie he knew his sister loved. It seemed like a good idea at first, after all it did star Buffy the freaking Vampire Slayer and Leah always swore the male lead was "too adorable in his suits the entire time" but it was kinda slow. Plus, it was all about cooking for some reason he couldn't figure out and it was making him hungry.

Which of course meant he had no choice but pay attention to the fact that Kurt was anything but fine. At least that was going to be excuse he sold himself later.

"I'm fine." The predictable answer came across Kurt's lips, even less convincing than the last time he said it.

Using his remote to turn off the movie (and not even getting a token protest in return. Something was wrong) Matt turned around from his spot on the floor to look at where Kurt sat, his back leaning against Matt's bed. "You know I might believe that if you weren't looking more interested in the books on my floor than the movie." He pointed out evenly. "Have to say Kurt if this is how you celebrate blowing Rachel's mind, your idea of a good time pretty much sucks."

"I'm sorry." Kurt leaned his head against Matt's mattress and berated himself for being such an obvious pill silently. This was supposed to be about celebrating a great performance and Matt making a successful first step out of his background comfort zone in glee. And here he was moping because his boyfriend (ex-boyfriend? What exactly was Sam to him at this moment?) was mad at him for something Sam had every right to be mad about. Coming here and hanging out in Matt's room like nothing was going on was probably right up there on his stupidest ideas ever list. "Maybe I should just go. I'm not much in a celebration mood."

"No. Stay." Matt protested. "I don't actually want to do homework and you're saving me from having to help my brothers with theirs. What's going on? Maybe I can help."

It was on the tip of his tongue to say the only way Matt could help was by being gay, but for what maybe the first time in his life Kurt though the better of it. This was just the first and probably not the last time he was going to be asked this exact question so he might as well just get used to it. Come tomorrow at school, people would be wondering why Sam was giving him the cold shoulder anyway.

"Sam and I had a fight." He said simply. It was best to keep the details to himself.

"A fight." Matt repeated slowly, trying to ignore the sound of Santana and Rachel in his head telling him this would be a great time to make his move. It wasn't if Kurt and Sam were just going to get back together again in an hour so like one of those couples on those CW shows Leah loved so much. "What about?"

"You don't want to know."

"I asked didn't I? Tell me. To risk sounding like Mr. Schue, you'll feel better."

Kurt chuckled humorlessly at that. He might feel better but he doubted Matt would. "No. Really it's ok. You don't want to know."

"Look we're friends right? And believe me this is at least a break from all the times Mike would dump all this kinda stuff on me. I'm really good at solving other people's relationship issues."

Somehow, Kurt doubted Mike ever laid something like this on Matt. If he had, there was a whole other conversation about why he wasn't made aware of a second gay boy in Lima. "I think maybe he's considering that I'm not exactly good boyfriend material."

Matt's eyes darted to Kurt's instantly. What was this? The voices in his head were getting louder by the second and it was possible he had just imagined Kurt making that statement. Except Kurt looked far too torn up over this for it to be Matt's imagination. "What are you talking about? He's crazy about you and you're the same about him."

"Yeah that's kinda what we fought about." Kurt said softly, almost forgetting Matt was actually in the room with him. If he had thought about that fact for one second, he would have never said it.

"You fought over if you are crazy about each other?"

"No. More like who may possibly be more into this relationship than the other person." Kurt admitted. He could do this. He could give the general idea and not give out the details. He could do this. "Sam seems to think I don't exactly want to be with him."

Matt sucked in a breath and tried to keep himself under control. Under no circumstances, except in his almost widest dreams, did this mean Kurt had figured out his big secret and wanted to be with him. Because that was just crazy talk. The stuff of what he imagined to be really bad movies. And just because Sam thought it, didn't mean Kurt agreed with that assessment. No one looked that upset and uncomfortable if they didn't want to be with someone and was just given an opportunity to leave. "Do you? Do you want to be with him?"

"Yes." Kurt said a touch too forcefully. He then leaned back against the mattress a second time. "Maybe. I think that's probably why we fought. I don't know anymore."

"Why…why don't you know anymore?" Matt asked softly, feeling himself slide closer to where Kurt was sitting and praying he was keeping the completely inappropriate hopeful sound out of his voice.

"Sam's…Sam's great. Any guy would be lucky to have him. I'm just wondering if maybe the fact he was into me wasn't a bigger part of the attraction." Kurt looked up suddenly, aware he had said far too much for any of his other male friends to be comfortable with. Even Artie would have cut him off ten minutes ago. Not to mention this was a completely ridiculous idea. If he kept going he was going to slip up and tell Matt the truth and then everything would be ruined. "This isn't freaking you out is it? I can just go and talk to Mercedes and Quinn."

"No. No. I think I get it. Kinda like when Mercedes let Puck date her to regain his popularity? Right?"

"Yeah kinda." Kurt agreed with a nod. "And I figured out what I have to do. It's the right thing. I just have never broken up with anyone before. But if I feel this way I shouldn't be in a relationship with Sam or anyone right now."

"Yeah that makes sense." Matt said slowly, trying to tell himself that now is not the time to spill the entire "hey you aren't the only gay guy in glee" beans to Kurt. Even if he did want to run around the backyard and do cartwheels at the news of possibly an impending breakup, Sam was still Kurt's first boyfriend and there would be some bad feelings after that. Mike hadn't even really liked Santana all that much when they went out for like a week freshman year and Matt still had to listen to him whine in his ice cream when that inevitable bust up happened. "Wait, anyone else? Is there someone you're interested in? Is that why you're not into Sam anymore."

"What? No. No." Kurt shook his head vigorously. See, he knew this was a bad idea. "Sam's the only other guy like me in Lima. Who else would I be interested in? That's crazy."

A telltale blush across Kurt's features let Matt know he was on the right track. Of course there was someone else. Just his freaking luck. "Not everyone is as out of the closet as you are Kurt." Matt pointed out.

"Funny. You should go on Conan."

"It's the truth." Matt said simply, noticing not for the first time just how close they were sitting. "They may be just scared. Dumpster dives aren't the most fun."

"Not being honest with yourself is less fun." Kurt responded.

"Fair point." Matt allowed softly. "So be honest. Is there someone else you like?"

Every fiber of his being screamed at him to lie. Denial was the best plan of survival here. But their eyes locked and every rational thought flew directly out of Kurt's head and right out Matt's window. "Yes. But he just started seeing someone and she's great. One of the best. I'm not going to mess that up."

He could mean anyone. It wasn't like there was a shortage of new relationships at school. But Kurt's words "one of the best" lingered in Matt's ears. Those were almost the exact word Kurt used to describe Quinn. And Matt knew the list of girls Kurt considered one of the best was limited to a select few. Mercedes, Tina and Quinn. And only Mercedes and Quinn qualified as started seeing anyone. Kurt's interactions with Mike mainly consisted of hanging out with him and Mercedes and as far as Matt knew, Quinn hadn't taken Kurt to meet Austin yet.

Not to mention the person Kurt thought was dating Quinn was, well, him.

Was it even possible? Was Kurt actually interested in him? With a determination that he had forgotten he even had, Matt decided he didn't really care. He chuckled a little. "Trust me. You can't mess that up."

Kurt fixed a quizzical eye on Matt, failing to see how any of this was close to funny. "And how is that?"

"Because Quinn and I aren't dating. She's seeing a waiter from Carmel. And I like someone else." Matt admitted.

"Someone else? What are you even talking about?"

"You. I like you."

And before Kurt could even blink his eyes or begin to process that statement, Matt's lips crushed against his, sending all attempts at thought right out of his head.