I do not own any of the characters, Mrs. Meyer does.
Chapter 9
Forks, Washington, 2096
BPOV
Just then, the bell signaling the end of lunch rang. I jogged to my next class, Biology, while deciding to free the poor vampire from the illusions.
I was the first to arrive in the classroom, well before any other human – or vampire. As I looked around, I took in a shaky breath: it seemed as if I had gone back in time. Nothing had changed: the walls were a fading yellow with multiple visible cracks, the boards around the classroom were a dull grey, worn and old after decades of use, even the tables and chairs looked exactly like they did 90 years ago. There was no hint of advanced technology in this room.
I looked at the table where Edwardand I used to sit, and suddenly saw the human Bella laughing, carefree, with a handsome vampire by her side, chuckling. I felt like I was on the outside looking in, which, in truth, I was. Those images were forever locked away, sealed in the most sweetest of vaults. But now, I only felt bitterness, laughing without humor at my past naivety.
I should have listened to him when he said that he was dangerous for me. No, not physically dangerous, I knew that he wouldn't harm me physically, but emotionally, that was another story. The emotional damage that he had caused me outweighed any kind of possible physical harm. If the emotional destruction that I felt when he left could be translated physically, I wouldn't have been humanly recognizable, at all. He left me forever broken in my heart, and it was worse than if I had a broken leg, even worse than if I had ended up in a wheelchair. He should have killed me when he had the chance. And now I couldn't die. I was stuck here forever.
He was right, humans had it so easy. There were so many different options for humans who wanted to commit suicide, but for me, there was none. My friends wouldn't kill me. All the vampires that I knew wouldn't kill me either. The Volturi didn't know about me, and if they did, they would probably have forced me to join their guard.
I sat down at the table where I sat 90 years ago, creating an aura of fear around me, so that nobody would sit next to me. I didn't want anyone to disturb me when I was reminiscing.
I noticed when Edward walked into the room. I averted my eyes, but kept him in my peripheral vision. His eyes glanced at the table where I was sitting, and it seemed like he wanted to sit here, but as soon as he spotted me, he walked to the back of the classroom and plopped down, seemingly upset that I was sitting here. I couldn't decipher his strange behavior.
As our teacher walked in, class started. I was absently jotting down notes as our teacher droned on and on, just in case if he chose to walk by. I thought back to the happier days, when I had believed that he had loved me. He was such a good liar. I wondered how many hearts he would break till the end of time. Probably a few billion, I guessed, one for each year. Would he change some of them? Damn them to an eternity filled with endless misery, heartbreak as soon as he leaves them? I just hoped that some of them would meet their soul mates after they became a vampire. I most likely wouldn't. I sighed. At least I had met new friends who had helped heal me. I was probably luckier than most of the girls, I had more friends than I could ever ask for.
The next class, Art, passed monotonously, and we were assigned an individual project that was due in a week. I would finish it tonight.
Alice was in Math with me, skipping in right after me and settling herself beside me. She repeatedly tried to start a conversation, but I ignored her. I could tell that she was getting really annoyed. I smiled internally; I wondered how she would get me to respond to her.
Finally, the day came to a close. It was the first day of school, and I couldn't stand it anymore. Why did the Cullens have to keep up the human façade? Didn't they have better things to do? I would have never ended up here if they had just stayed home. I would have never ended up here if they had died like they should have, decades ago. I knew that that was mean, but I would have happily died years ago if they didn't exist. I would have a led a normal, human life and died like any other living thing on the face of this Earth. Charlie and Renee would have seen me get married, and I would have had children, grandchildren, but instead, I became a monster, something unnatural. Ugh, it was depressing to think of those things.
As I walked to my car, I turned on the music player. I had converted many songs onto a chip so that they would sound crystal clear even after a few centuries. The song started playing in the middle:
(Kelly Clarkson – Because of You)
Because of you
I will never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I will never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Edward and the vampire walked to their car, their arms wrapped around each other.
"Jennifer, do you want to go out on Saturday night?" His velvet voice murmured in her ear, barely audible. Oh, so her name was Jennifer.
"Sure, honey, where are we going?" I guessed that she was trying to make her voice seductive, except her voice was so squeaky that it made my ears hurt.
How could he stand her? Then I realized that we both had faults: her presence and voice was uncomfortable, and I was too clumsy. Did Edward specially choose girls who had problems? So that he could get them more easily, by feeding their small self-esteem? Somehow, I wasn't that surprised.
"We're not going anywhere, my love." Words were only words to him. "But do dress formally."
Jennifer's excitement was almost tangible. "Ok, I'll have Alice dress me!" Why would anyone in their right mind let Alice dress them willingly? Sure, she could make anyone stunning, but only after hours of torture.
Hmmm…Saturday, at their mansion, maybe I'll pay them a visit…
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