Disclaimer; I own nothing, obviously. Though, I have changed some events – as you'll notice in this chapter; having to do with Sasuke in the hospital, his fight with Naruto, and the sound ninjas.
Chapter Two;
I woke up shuddering, covered in sweat, my hands shaking at my sides. The nightmares were never ending, flashbacks to a past I'd tried so long to forget. Yet still, every moment played over in my head constantly, consuming anything but the hatred I'd felt within me for so long. I'd tried, really tried to give a life without the burning bitterness of revenge tainting the corners, licking at my skin like a burning fire. But it possessed parts of me, took over the lightness that I'd once had – childlike qualities long forgotten, I glared into the lingering darkness around me.
Everything I'd always wanted, always strived to achieve and to be – had crumbled around my world the night my older brother murdered our entire clan. His words from that night ringing in my ears, the visions he'd burned into my head – so much death, so much pain. He'd wanted me to hate him, wanted me to hurt. He hoped I would come after him, using and manipulating me from birth. And it was truly working – I would go after him, when I was strong enough. I could never understand, I still didn't understand. Maybe I never would understand. Had he ever even cared, truly cared for me at all? I banished the thought immediately, telling myself the answer truly didn't matter because I didn't care about him at all.
Throwing the covers back and rolling out of bed, quickly dressing for the day before climbing out my apartment window. The streets were empty below me, dawn had barely broken yet. Nearly everyone else in the village were still safely tucked into their beds, unaware of anything else around them. Such open trust for the village they lived in, such trust for the family they lived with – it was sad and pathetic. Shaking my head I headed for the forest just outside the village. Sticking to the shadows, just to be safe. My footsteps faltered slightly as I jumped onto the top of Naruto's apartment building. Naruto. He'd always been in my shadows, a never wavering disturbance yet, he'd never let any harm come to me if he could help it.
He'd been shunned and pushed aside, forgotten and alone much longer than I had. But, he still had so much strength and compassion inside of him. He cared for the village, no matter what they'd said or done to him over the years. He cared about Sakura and Kakashi. He even for some stupid reason had gotten it into his head that it was a good idea to care about me. I shook my head, standing there I could almost feel the anger slipping away, my barrier of hate crumbling slowly. He was the one person that had always been able to push through every defense, not bothering to wait for me to let him in – which I wouldn't have – but simply plowing through the walls instead. It was a troubling thing, because no matter how much I would tell myself that there was no one important in my life, I knew it was a lie. I'd been willing to throw away my life for Naruto to get Sakura away, a mere few days ago – When that kid, Gaara, had turned into some kind of monster right before our eyes.
But, I hadn't been strong enough then. Naruto had, he was, always had been much stronger than any of us ever really took the time to realize. He was fueled by the same feelings I was constantly trying to overcome, to push away, because I would eventually be able to attack my own comrade. "You must kill your best friend…" the thoughts came tumbling back, at a force that nearly knocked me off my feet. Itachi had possibly been right, would I be able to hate enough, ever? Could I ever kill Naruto, not because of lack of power, but because of the bond we'd created – even through all the pain, and anger, and annoyance with each other. We had created a bond, and I wasn't sure it was one I could force myself to break.
Biting the inside of my mouth, I forced the thoughts away. Lies! I had to be strong enough, I had to do this – It was the only way to find peace again, the only way to know I'd be able to live my life, breathe again. Maybe it was already too late for that, but I had to try anyways. Forcing myself away from the roof, I continued at a slower pace towards the woods. Dropping onto the first tree branch just outside of town, I collapsed against the trunk, my body shaking uncontrollably. Memories I've made with Naruto plaguing my mind, blasting their way through my mind, controlling my thoughts. I felt that all telling pain in the back of my throat, burning and aching, as my eyes began to sting with unspent tears. I'd never understood how deeply our bond had grown, not allowing myself to truly feel any part of it.
There had been times since we'd been placed onto Kakashi's team that Naruto's words and actions have surprised me beyond anything I could ever imagine. He'd taken hits for me, thrown his own life into danger to protect me and our comrades no matter who it was. He had admitted things about his own anguish, how much he's suffered since the very beginning of his life. The anger and hate that sometimes burns so deeply, so quickly within his body. But he'd never truly aimed all that power in my direction, he's never attempted to really cause me any injury.
"Uchiha?" I heard a lazy voice beneath me, dragging my head to the side I could faintly make out the figure of Shikamaru Nara below me. Just great, he was probably one of the last people I'd want to find me here, especially with my mind in the state its been in lately. We weren't really friends not that I considered anyone my friend really, in reality I don't think either of us really even cared for one another all that much. Not that I had a grudge against the guy, he seemed intelligent enough, a strong shinobi also. We just didn't run in the same circles, I suppose you could say. More like – he had his friends, his family, and was surrounded all throughout his life with care, compassionate and affection. He didn't hold the same pains inside himself, that had led me unfortunately form a tentative bond with Naruto, and even Kakashi. A bond I really shouldn't have allowed myself to get involved in, it could only cause more problems for what I wanted to achieve. But I was just so tired; all the hate, pain and anger were all so draining on my entire body - mind, body and soul. My heart ached just thinking about the look that would flash in my team's eyes if I was to truly betrayed them, attacking them viciously I didn't know if I had it in me. I didn't know if I wanted to do it really, was I going to follow in my brother's footsteps. My father's voice entered into my mind telling me not to follow my big brother's path. Shaking my head, I refocused my attention on Shikamaru.
"What do you want?" I asked. Turning my gaze away from him, before suddenly looking back. Green vest, so the rumors I'd heard were actually true afterall. He'd been the only genin, to make chunin from what they'd all seen of the exams. It made sense really. Out of everyone that had taken part in the exams, he was one of the only ones I'd myself have guessed to make it through and pass the examination.
"I wouldn't say I particularly want anything in acuality. I was simply on my way out here, to get away. Maybe watch a few clouds. My mother was nagging, like always. Troublesome woman." His voice was deep, and even. It never seemed to rise or fall, no matter what position he was in. I'd rarely ever heard his voice waver in the slightest, it really was an annoyance for someone to be so tactical and apathetic constantly. Lifting my head towards the sky I realized that it was light outside already, and there were a number of clouds floating across the open blue sky.
"You come into the forest, to watch the clouds? Don't the trees get in your way?" Why was I even asking, it's not like I really cared. Why bother with small talk, I had more important things to do then chat with a guy I barely knew nor cared about.
"Most people know my old place that I used to watch them. Therefore defeating the entire purpose of being there at all. I watch the clouds to get away from it all, you know?" Shikamaru slide down against the tree, leaning back and looking up at me, before turning his head slightly to look up at the clouds over head. He sighed deeply, like it was such hard work to talk so much. And to him it probably felt like it, he was a very lazy guy. Smirking, I shook my head and looked up at the clouds. Allowing the tranquil silence to relax me thoroughly, I could feel my mind clearing and all my worries momentarily slipping away.
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!