Ride like the Wind
Chapter 51

Two weeks passed.

"Greetings and salutations!" Kurama greeted Mukuro that day with a smile.

"Ah, Shuichi!" Mukuro replied after trying to remember Kurama for a moment.

"Oh and this is a friend of mine. His name is Kaitou!" He waved a hand at Kaitou who was staring at Mukuro like she was a bomb about to go off.

"A... Are you really a woman?" Kaitou stuttered.

"Kaitou!" Kurama smacked his forehead.

"Do I look like one?" Mukuro challenged him.

"Then you aren't dressed properly!" Kaitou replied accusingly.

"No, the only time I'm not dressed properly is if I'm running around naked or wearing pink at a funeral. But I'm not naked or wearing pink at a funeral. So no, Kaitou, I'm not not dressed properly."

"You're supposed to be in a dress!"

"Oh so did God come down from the heavens and tell you that He created women so they could prance around in pretty dresses and spend all day getting pregnant and bearing hundreds of children? Hell no! And I'll keep dressing like this until He does so screw you!"

"But it's a rule of society..."

"Is it written anywhere? So it's not a rule of society. End of political debate."

"So..." Kurama tripped over something. "What was...? Hiei? Sleeping on the floor? What's he...?"

"I dunno why but he sleeps on the floor all of a sudden," MUkuro replied. "I ignore him."

Kurama frowned and crouched by Hiei. "Hey Hiei... EVERYBODY RUN! THE RAPTURE'S HERE!"

Hiei shot up. "OHMYGOD! I'VE BEEN LEFT BEHIND! WHERE'S 666? WHERE IS THE SIX HEADED BEAST? ARE THE HORSEMEN HERE YET? IS THERE A BATTLE AT ARMAGEDDON YET?!" He hid under the table.

Long silence.

"So I take it you'll be talking now, Hiei?" Mukuro asked.

Hiei held up a piece of paper. "You didn't just hear that."

"Why aren't you talking?" Kurama asked.

"Yo no hablo ingles." He wrote.

"Yeah well, yo hablo espanol."

He frowned and scurried out of the room.

"So..." Kaitou was about to go on about how Mukuro was dressed again.

"Quit asking. You don't get any sexual stimulation from my legs. Why don't I just take off my shirt and see if you get anything from that?" she growled.

"You'd do that?"

"If you make me dare." She put a hand on her shirt.

"You're gross." He seemed to cower.

"You started this off."

"I can't believe you're going to marry Shuichi," Kaitou grumbled.

"Say what? Me marry him? But he's gay. And I barely know him. I wouldn't just jump to marriage like that. Who told you I was going to marry him?"

"AND you're cheating on him!" Kaitou went on.

"That's madness! I'm not cheating on anyone! What're you talking about?!" She waved her arms around. "Are you some matchmaker from China or something?"

"He's British. I dunno what his problem is either," Kurama replied. ("Et tu, Shuichi?" Kaitou whined.) "By the way, this might be good bye for us. I have to go to school in London with him."

"But we have the best school system here. Why cross the ocean for something lesser?" Mukuro asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I dunno. I guess I want to see something more."

"Running away too?"

"And you're French!" Kaitou cried.

"I'm German and British, you fuck off!" She growled at him.

"You did not just...!" Kaitou was interrupted.

"I damn well did, bitch! Screw you! That's what happens when you piss off a Jew!"

What's that have to do with anything? "You're so vulgar. You're a really sick person."

"If I were a sick person I would have cut out your heart, nailed it to a wall and eaten all your organs," She replied, crossing her arms.

"But that's okay in other countries," Kaitou replied smugly.

"You enjoy contradicting me don't you?"

"Actually, yes, yes I do."

"Okay well what is is and what isn't isn't or so we think we know what we know yet are we sure all we know knowing what we know we may not know or think we know or not think we know? I think you're thinking I'm thinking I'm knowing knowledge without knowing I know or thinking I think I think I know I know I think I know I think I think I know I know that your saying you know what I'm saying? You know what I mean, soul brother? Try contradicting me now, Kaitou!"

"Wait... You think... I know... W... What?"

"Yeah, it hurt, didn't it?"

"My head? Yes. Very much so...?"

"And this knife down your throat will hurt just the same."

"Eep!"

"Kaitou's kinda eccentric so you should take it easy on him. You can cuss him out all you want but no knives in the throat!" Kurama waved his hands around.

"Normally I'd refuse but since I like you, I'll listen. I was kidding anyway. Worms like that need a scare every once in a while." She put the knife down.

"By the way... Isn't Mukuro a Japanese name? If you're German and British how'd that work?"

"A Japanese man was talking to my father about how his father was murdered. He heard the word mukuro in there so he figured it meant grace. My mother gave birth to me the next day and he was sad that I turned out to be a girl; so he named me mukuro instead of Peter. Sad thing it is. He went to an elite school and he's still an idiot. Rich people are so stupid."

"You come from a rich family?' Kaitou gasped.

"Yeah. What's it matter?" She crossed her arms.

"But..."

Yomi ran in. "What's going on?"

"Not you!" She smacked her forehead.

"Is Johnny Cade here?!"

"No! And he'll never be!"

"Is he dead?"

"Didn't I just go through telling you that he doesn't exist?"

"He doesn't? Why would you do that?" He made a face that looked something like TT.TT.

"You were dropped a lot as an infant weren't you?"

"Seven times, my mother says..." Emo aura.

"What...?"

"Shut up and eat this," Mukuro shoved a potato cake in Kaitou's mouth.

"Whar are ou being abusive oof me?" Kaitou shook a fist. He swallowed. "Actually that was pretty good. I could be happily married to you."

Yomi pointed the rifle at him.

"Put that down!"

He sat down still growling like a dog getting his food taken away.

"Yomi, remember what the crazy Austrian man in the story says: Keine geschletdrogen oder-shapse. And the French man replies Aucune drogues ou boissons alcoolisees de sexe." She waved a finger at him.

"What? I don't understand any of this..." Kurama asked.

Long silence.

"You were just owned Kurama. You just picked the hat molesting the duck. Your hat is horrible. I win!" Hiei voice was heard in the hall. "By the way, Mukuro, a door's locked and I can't get in there!"

"None of the doors can... Get... Locked..." The ghosts...

"I think your house is haunted, Mukuro," Yomi said.

"Who asked you?!" Mukuro growled. More silence.

---

"Hey."

Mukuro woke up and saw Hiei standing over her. "Mm... Hiei? It's the middle of the night. Go back to sleep."

"Yeah but I wanted to talk to you."

"Can't it wait?"

"I'm gonna be going."

"You leave without saying anything all the time. What makes this different?"

"Yeah, well, I'm changing."

Goddamn this man, "It's a little late now."

"It never is. You know it's been over a month..."

Mukuro flung her pistol into her face. "Leave me alone."

"What the hell?! You sleep with that thing, too?! I... I taste blood!" He wiped a hand on his face. "I'm bleeding!"

"Well there's a lot of it. You look like an evil dictator that would someday try to take over the world when the blood on your upper lip like that." She rolled over. "I don't know why I bother with you sometimes."

Hiei sighed and walked to the doorway. "I... don't want to fight you anymore."

"Me neither. But you make me."

When she heard the door close, she put a hand on her stomach. "I know it's not there but..."

End chapter 51

Notes:

1. Rapture and all that- Reference to the Book of Revelations in the bible.
2. Mukuro means something like body or corpse in Japanese.
3. What Mukuro said in German and French- No sex, drugs, or booze.
4. What the hell was Mukuro doing in the end? Not telling!

I'm not going on in a while. I have summer reading so... I won't update for a few weeks. I can reply to messages but I won't update. Don't expect double updates either. I'm too close to the written version to do that. Uh... Yeah... (goes back to laughing at Hitler)