If Yu Yu Hakusho were in the 80's this joke may be in it:

Yusuke waved a paper in Kuwabara's face. "I got Keiko's number!

867-5309? "Good luck with that one Urameshi."

And on to our feature presentation.

Ride like the Wind

Chapter 50

December 25, 1850

There was a knock on the door. Mukuro stared at it and then at the candles she lit. She stared at the door again and walked to the kitchen to get a knife, expecting Yomi this time. Come to think of it didn't he say he was supposed to be in London on Christmas day?

She answered it anyway and was greeted with...

"Merry Christmas!" Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei (actually his greeting was "Screw it. Merry Christmas.') and Yukina cheered. And Shura just happened to be dragged with them just stared at the knife in Mukuro's hand like a dog about to get neutered and praying his other part to go away in peace and safety. Then he shrugged and stared at her legs because, come on people! This is the 1800's! People had the girl's legs covered all the time!

"Why do you have a knife..." Shura mumbled.

She just gave him a deer in the headlights look.

"Told you the element of surprise would be too much for her," Kuwabara whispered to Yusuke only to get nudged in the stomach.

"I got wine so we could all get drunk. Well, except Shura cause he's a little kid," Yusuke added.

"I'm not a little..." Shura was interrupted.

"You are if you're not at my hips! So shut up, Shorty!"

And Shura cried. But no one cared.

"So basically you're forcing this on me because I refused before?" Mukuro asked, a catlike stare/glare on her face. "I have more important things to do."

"Like what?" Yusuke raised an eyebrow.

"...Things like what you do on Thursdays."

"Masturbate? But..."

"Don't ask how I know how to do it. Prostitutes are scary people."

"So what... You're not gonna celebrate because you're Jewish?"

"Pretty much. I got a week to celebrate Hanukkah. That's why Jews are so great. We can party for a week and people of our own religion won't care.'

"Can we come in anyway? It's cold..." Kurama half mumbled.

"You seem out of it," Hiei said as he walked in.

Mukuro replied with a shrug and said something in German. She added in English, "So you want me to get you anything?"

"No, I have all we need. You need to rest," Yusuke argued.

"Don't argue with me. I just like to keep my hands busy. If you don't like it, get the hell out. Don't try being nice to me because I have ulcers. It's my own damn fault for drinking too much or stressing myself out or whatever the hell it is that makes me have them. Bugs the hell out of me when people try to be nice to me because they know something's wrong with me," Mukuro growled.

"Not my fault I care about my friends. Quit being bitchy about it."

"Yusuke, I think you're hurting more than you're helping," Kurama broke in.

"What, don't you care?" Yusuke growled.

"No, I..."

"You two go at each other's throats! I'm out of here! Goddamn!" Mukuro walked into the kitchen.

Hiei poked his head in. "Mukuro...?"

"Goddamn it! Can't I be by myself for five seconds? What?!" She death glared him.

"But..." Teary eyes. "This is how you treat the guy who loves you! I give you my love in a basket of love and you throw it away! Keep your love!"

"Honestly, Hiei, if it were in a basket with love in it, it would be a basket of love."

"Ugh. I give you my love in a basket of carrots..."

"Are you trying to kill me? I'm allergic to carrots."

"I give you my love in a basket of beer..."

"Am I a drunk now?"

"Ugh... I give you my love in a basket of whatever the hell it is you eat and you throw it away! Keep your love!"

"Actually I would eat what's in there and then throw it away."

"See what I mean!"

"Hiei, I come back here to blow off steam and what do you do? Add more to the pot!"

"Drink some wine, that'll soften you..."

"Screw you!"

Somehow Yomi suddenly fell from the ceiling.

"How'd you get up there?" Hiei asked.

"Well, I..." Yomi was interrupted.

"Get a glass of shut the hell up and get the hell out of here and entertain the children." He shoved the taller demon out of the room. He turned and saw Mukuro fighting with the window. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Getting out of here!" The latch broke. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Of pie! Apple pie and getting out and eating some because you all are pissing me off!"

"Take a deep breath!"

She whacked him on the head with a frying pan and fought with another latch. This time she got out to get some pie... Well it was closed actually but she got pie somehow.

Meanwhile Yomi screamed at everyone, "WHY ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!? WHAT? HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN A BLIND BRITISH MAN BEFORE?!"

"No. Nor have we seen one as sickly pale as you are,' Yusuke replied smugly.

"I am not..." Yomi was interrupted by Shura.

"Well actually you are. It's hard to find anyone as pale as you are. I mean, people can see your veins through your skin,' he replied.

"You cannot!" You can?

And Shura cried but no one cared.

"This is how all British look!" Yomi replied, arms crossed.

"Mukuro looks like a brownie when she stands next to you!" Yusuke replied.

"She's just dark for a German-British... Norwegian... Canadian... French... Polish... Spanish... Portugese... Austrian... Hungarian... Finnish... Russian..."

"Okay we get the point! Her race doesn't make sense! Whatever but she's sickly pale like you!"

"That's not nice..." Yukina whispered to them both.

"Yeah, listen to Yukina!" Kuwabara jumped in.

"You should apologize."

"Yeah, apologize!"

What a dork. "Fine. Yomi, have my shirt." He took off his shirt.

"Say what? You disgust me!" Yomi shook his fist at him.

"I kept it warm with my body heat."

No reply.

"Sure, take stuff from Mukuro but not from me?"

"Because it would be stepping all over her heart!"

Stepping on her heart! Whatever! "What and you step on mine!"'

"It's okay for two men to hate each other but not a man and a woman!'

Mukuro suddenly walked into the house, shoving a huge piece of pie in her mouth, ignoring stares. "I'm home."

"How did you get out?" Yomi asked.

"I jumped out the window."

"Why didn't that Mexican say anything?"

"I hit him with a frying pan."

"That's not nice, is it Yukina!" Kuwabara turned to her. She just stared at him. "She says no!"

"Yomi, make her happy by shooting her a giraffe!" Yusuke broke in.

"Giraffes don't exist, Yusuke," Mukuro replied. "They're an invention of the British. See three British guys were in the country of Africa..."

Cough. "Africa is a continent!" Cough.

"Whatever. So the first British guy says I shot myself a lion! He was all with the mane and he was like grar! And the second one says I just shot a bear! I great big husky bear with the little tail and he was like grar! And the third British guy was like I shot myself a twenty foot tall creature. And the two wondered what it was. They were told that he found a giraffe eating but it fell off a cliff. And what the hell do giraffes say? Cows go moo. Dogs bark. Cats meow. What do giraffes? End political debate."

Hiei stumbled in. "What the hell lady! I'm gonna get you for that!"

"Auch!" she ran out, taking the pie with her for some reason.

"What the..." Kurama stared.

"This will be over soon. Mukuro can't stand the cold," Yomi said.

When Hiei caught up to her, he grabbed her by the arm. "I'll sing you a song...

"Estas son las mananitas

que cantaba el Rey David

pero no eran tan bonitas

como las cantan aqui

"Despeirta mi bien despeirta

mira que ya amane cio

y a los pajarillos cantan

la luna y a se metio..."

"Hiei her birthday was four days ago!" Yusuke called from the house.

"So what! I don't care! Come on out!" Everybody except Yomi who was dragged out shrugged and came out.

---

"You you're still here to drive me insane?" Mukuro asked Hiei once everybody else was gone.

"Nah. I kinda have a reason this time," Hiei replied.

She looked at the window. "You didn't before?"

"Not if you don't count getting a good screw is a reason. I have a better one now."

"If you say so."

"No." he took her by the hands and when she looked at him. He looked her in the eye. "Listen. You would marry me, won't you?"

"HIei." She pulled away from him. She held up her left hand. "Don't be a smart ass on this one. What's this?"

"A ring."

"I'm engaged. I'm going to get married next month."

"To who?"

"Yomi.'

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess the guy needs to get false love for a while even though he had it all his life. Someone needs to have me if they want me."

"But I love you."

"No. No, don't say that. You're both alike. You say you love me but you don't mean it and neither of you can really have me. Shuichi has your heart. You only want me for the reason you said before. I'm no good for you if you have Shuichi. You only want my kid because you think that'll make someone love you but people do. I do. Shuichi does. I always free but you're never free. Go on. Go back to him. All we all really need is a little love. He won't keep you waiting."

"If he does?"

"...Only if you don't love him anymore..." She walked away from him.

---

"So you'll be studying in London?" Hiei asked.

"Yeah. Biology." He stared at the shore. He drew a swirl in the sand with a stick.

"When are you coming home?"

"I don't know... Five years, ten?"

Hiei felt the pit in his stomach. But I can't come with him. I'm alone again.

"Do you think the sunsets look this good in London? Is the moon clear like in Mexico?"

"I dunno... I dunno..." Hiei fell. "But why?"

And only the wind answered, "I dunno. I dunno."

"But every story needs an end, Hiei."

End chapter 50. End part one

Thanks for reading. I gotta update quick now. Talk to ya'll later.