What would happen if Lily not forgiving him for his slip of tongue at his most humiliating moment is the straw that broke the camel's back? Mentions of humiliation, abuse and suicide.
The Straw that Broke the Camel's Back
When his dorm mates finally came to retire for the night, they found a cold body hanging from a rope stuck to the ceiling. They panicked. The head of house was called. In the matter of half an hour, the entire Slytherin house was gathered in the common room, because the entire staff was in the sixth year dorm, along with some Aurors, who wanted to examine the body before it was handed over to his mother to bury.
Every single person in the common room was shocked to the core. They never really intervened when the Gryffindors bullied the boy, neither did they look really close at his home condition, even if they knew something was not really right. The boy was too jaded, too closed off for his home life to be a normal one. Yes he was surrounded by Purebloods who appeared emotionless, but Severus Snape, even for a half-blood, took emotionless to an extreme that no normal child should be able to. In hindsight, they had all failed to help their house mate. There was one particular who wanted to make some people feel how much they had failed. Some things needed to be said, and Regulus would say it if others won't.
The next morning, the Gryffindors were going to the Great Hall for breakfast when they spotted a women, crying profusely, enter the hallway, helped by an old man, and moved towards the Dungeons, probably to Professor Slughorn's office. The marauders began to make fun of her big nose, like a muggle witch and all that rubbish.
"Shut up you idiots. You four are so unfeeling and insensitive and pathetic." Saying that, Lily moved towards the lady she knew very well. She was Eileen Snape. Though Lily was not talking to Severus and maybe won't ever, she knew his summer was rough. He had come to her house several times over the summer to apologize but she had refused to meet him. From the safety of her first floor room, she had peered through the window and seen him battered or bruised most of the times, often with a handprint across his face or with a split lip.
"Hello aunty. Why are you crying? Is everything alright?" The woman began to sob now, though she seemed to move away from her. She could not speak a word, so she handed lily a letter and left towards the office with the elderly man by her side. Confused, Lily opened the letter, but it was like twenty inches on parchment roll. She knew that handwriting though, but what could he have written to his mother for her to sob like that. Before she could read though, someone called out to her,
"Hey Evans, what are you doing here? Isn't there a party you should be throwing?"
"What are you talking about Regulus?"
He growled, "I have not given you leave to use my given name. Huh… but I degress. So, where is the party? Or my brother dear is the one organizing it? Or better yet, your boyfriend. He is the most benefited out of it after all."
"What are you on about Regulus? Leave Lily alone."
"Oh here is my brother. You know in some Asian cultures they say if you name someone and they appear, they would live a long life. And for your question I was just asking Lily who was organizing the party, her, her boyfriend or you?"
"What party?"
"Oh the party to celebrate your best friend's and her boyfriend's victory."
"What rubbish are you talking? What victory?"
"You wanted her ex-friend put off your way so she would pay attention to him. And the deed is done. Severus Snape is out of the way. So it calls for a celebration doesn't it?"
Sirius smirked at that. "Hear that Jamie boy? Snivellous is transferring to another school it seems. Does he have enough money to pay for it? Maybe we could do some charity."
"Oh you misunderstand me. He is not transferring. Well you could call it a sort of transfer, from this world to the next. He hung himself last night, to fulfil your wish of a Snape free Hogwarts. Well, I would not call it a suicide. To me, it was murder, cold blooded murder. Don't forget to check your hands you five. I think I can see something red on it. Is it innocent blood?"
Regulus turned around and left the three stunned teenagers behind, just as he saw the other two of the marauders joining their deadly beast of friends. As soon as Regulus left, Lily turned back and ran to her dorm, letter clutched in her hand, forgetting breakfast. It was not important.
Closing off her curtains and casting a hasty ward to seal it and all the noise within the enclosure, she opened which was probably the last Letter of Severus Snape to his mother.
Dear Mum,
Let me call you that for today please. I know you don't like it when I am not acting like a proper pureblood, but the fact is I am not, a pureblood that is. I am a half blood with an abusive, violent, drunk muggle father. Growing up, I always used to think a fairy godmother would came and take you and me away from him. It never happened. The first time grandpa and grandma had come to see us when I was six, I thought they would be my fairy godparents but they never whisked us away or even came back. I learnt there was nothing like a fairy godparent. Hell, I never had normal godparents let alone a fairy one. But deep within I still hoped.
Then I met Lily, my stargazer. The time spent with her, away from home, was the best in my life. She soothed something inside me, and in return, I protected her from her jealous sister, Petunia. There is nothing special about a Petunia after all, not to me at least. Then we went to Hogwarts and into different houses.
Things changed from there you know. I never told you about my school life except my studies did I? Well, I did not want to upset you, and I could cope because my Stargazer was with me. There is this group of four friends who have picked on me since I stepped foot on the Hogwarts Express, even before my sorting. I wore second hand robes which were faded, two shades greyer than their new shiny ones.
As years progressed, the pranks they pulled on me turned from funny to nasty. Nobody thought so though, not even my own house mates. No one came forward to help the poor boy Severus. I carried as many bruises at Hogwarts as I did at home, but now, they were hidden by my voluminous robes. But Lily stood up for me whenever something happened in front of her and that was enough for me to go on. But things changed last year mum, and it is my fault they did. Oh why I couldn't take the humiliation with my mouth shut as I always did. But I let my pride cloud my mind.
After the mid term exam last year, one of my tormentors said to his best friend that he was bored, so the other one, the leader of the group, hung me in the air, upside down, my legs bare, my equally faded grey pants showing. They made fun of me. He asked his friend if he was still bored he could take my pants off for his entertainment. When Lily stood up for me, my pride could not take the hit and I snapped. I called her a mudblood, a word I picked from the seniors in my house. I knew it was a bad word but I still used it.
She left, and never looked back. I tried to apologize, I did. I even spent several nights on the corridor outside her house dorms, to wait for her, but each time she just passed by me, as if I was invisible to her. My only friend mum, my lifeline. Oh how much I had dreamt that when we complete our education, I will take a well paid job and propose to marry her. Her father wouldn't take a poor man for a son-in-law right. Oh how I had dreamed, but I was so blind, so so blind. She is dating that boy now, who used to bully me in front of her. I realized I was never good enough for her, a nobody, a charity case. But I did not know that then, so I hoped.
At the end of that year, The leader's friend told me he had some information that Lily wanted to convey to me and to meet him at a shack he gave me directions for. And in my hope and desperation, I went, without even thinking it could be a trap. I saw a werewolf transform in front of me. I was so terrified I froze to the spot. The leader pulled me out of there. Turned out their third friend was a werewolf. Dumbledore shushed me, told me not to say anything, took a vow from me. But that did not stop my torment did it? They knew if I spoke I would lose my magic.
They told Lily I followed them intentionally. When I went to tell her they were lying, she said "Shut your lies you Freak. I don't trust you anymore." But I still went to her home every other day the entire summer to apologize. She never met me. I was at my wits end mum. So when I saw her and that boy together, something broke, I think it was my heart. It was my mistake it did. I should have known better than to hand it to someone. All she had to do was fold her fingers in a tight fist and lo! Smashed to pieces. And she did unintentionally smash my heart to so small bits I cannot piece them together.
You must be wondering why I don't take their names? But I won't mum. Lily is a part of their circle now, and she is happy, happier than she was ever with your poor big nosed poor ugly son. He is handsome, rich, a pureblood, and overall a funny person. So what if he is a bully, she will reign him in I know. She will make him a better person like she made me. So, I don't want any troubles for her so my tormentors will remain forever anonymous. Don't try to dig mum please. Bury this with my grave.
I tried though, I tried to cope with all this heart ache and depression. But each day she got closer to him. Yes she yelled at him if he did something stupid but you could see that there was a certain fondness to her scolding, the one thing I never had. She forgave him all his previous transgressions too. He was worth it though. Me? I am worth no one's forgiveness or love mum, not dad's, not grandpa's, not grandma's, not Lily's, and now not even yours.
I know this will hurt you but I love you mum, but that is not enough to keep me going anymore. I have reached my breaking point ma. I cannot take it anymore. I am sorry but I am going, in search of somewhere I may find a place. I am sure heaven is not for boys like me, but maybe, they will let me watch through a window when you and Lily come? It will be a long long time from now. I am sure you will make sure of it. Stay safe mumma, stay happy in the thought that your son is finally free of all the torments of his life. Take care mumma.
Your son
Severus.