Ride like the Wind
Chapter 53

"What?!" Koenma pointed at the note on Mukuro's door, his eyes bulging.

"Well, this is unexpected," Botan replied as if that were supposed to make him feel better. Yusuke tore off the note and handed it to her with a look of apathy on his face. Botan read the note out loud to validate the words. "Hey, whoever's reading this. If this note's here I'm either dead, killing myself, away on some trip or locking myself up in the house and laughing at you because you can't come inside. And she wrote under it Will not be coming back. Hm. She must be gone, Father."

"What the hell! How can she do this to me?!" Koenma screamed into the sky. "If my country's winter could stop Napoleon then it would freeze her! And she can't stand the cold! If Russia and her tiny German tribes fight, Russia would still win! My country owns her country! Er, tribe thing."

"Yeah, but Britain's navy would stop Russia's." Botan replied with nationalism.

"Silence, you!" Koenma banged a fist against his forehead in frustration. He turned to Yusuke. "Where'd she go?"

"She went to London. I told you a hundred times already and do you listen? No," Yusuke replied as he rolled his eyes.

"Why?!"

"She got married."

"Then why didn't she and Hiei just stay here or in Mexico?!"

"She didn't marry Hiei. She married Yomi for some reason."

"Well that's fine and dandy. I hope they have lots of deformed children together." Koenma rubbed his temples.

"That's messed up, man!"

"Look, I don't care about that. I came here because I hoped she would help me out with this situation but it turns out she';ll be involved too."

"What? You mean something's going down in London?"

"Yeah."

"What's the deal then."

Koenma gave him a folded piece of paper. "This. They could both be killed with him around. Damn, I wish she could've told me. Why go to London?"

Yusuke glanced at it and his eyes widened.

---

They stood in the mid February snowfall, their luggage in hand. They sky was grey like the snow underneath it like a mirror. The crowds were shifting up and down the streets with constant noises of chatter and laughter. The harsh cold wind blew harder into Kurama's face.

"It doesn't feel right," Kurama finally said, looking at the crowds with dismay. He breathed into his hands to warm them up. "It's freezing. Worse than San Francisco."

"It's weird because you're not used to it here. You'll grow into it." He sighed. "It feels good to be home at last." Kaitou turned to Kurama. "We'll be staying at my cousin's house. Now, I want you to be..."

"I know. I needs to be polite at all times. No sex, drugs or booze, et cetera, et cetera. I just feel awkward, not forgetful. I can't believe everyone here speaks English. Kinda refreshing actually."

"Listen, those girls over there are looking. Flash them a smile."

"I don't want to. And you know I'm not into women."

"Oh, quit it! Gain confidence!" Kaitou put his hands on Kurama's shoulder. "Shuichi Minamino, you are a queen! Confident, compassionate... Give me another adjective that starts with a c."

"Kind?"

"That starts with a K."

"Oh. Charismatic."

"Yes! That too! You are a queen! Flash a smile."

Kurama frowned. "What are you implying? That I go in women's clothes?"

Under his breath, Kaitou mumbled, "Could be."

"What?!" Kurama pulled away and stared at Kaitou like he was a wild animal about to attack him. "I don't know you anymore!" He ran away.

"Get back here, Minamino!" Kurama was too fast for him. "Shuichi! Wait for mee! You'll get looost!"

---

"Okay, son. You get outta bed now. It's noon and there's crops that aren't gonna help themselves outta the rain. Out, now," John poked Hiei who groaned.

"Leave me alone, I'm angsting," Hiei rolled over in bed.

"You always are. Get up."

"No..." He pulled the covers over his head. "I was indirectly dumped. Leave me alone."

"Hiei, I've indirectly dumped hundreds of women and they felt pretty bad about it for a while too but they got over it. It was only about the hair anyway."

"Yeah well, my problem is that you won't leave me alone. Get the fuck out."

Pout! "Fine!"

Hiei drifted back to sleep. At some point he woke up feeling something was put in his mouth. Unconsciously he started to suck on it. He was about to drift back to sleep when his eyes shot open and he grabbed the object in his mouth.

"What the hell, John! What is this? A bottle? What the hell is wrong with you! And it has milk! You know I can't have milk!" Hiei screamed at John.

"Whatever! It's all in your head!" John shook a fist at him.

"It's not in my head! What about that time I drank milk and threw up!"

"IT is! Besides, you're acting like someone who needs one too! Would it be better if I convinced your girl to come back? Who is she?"

"She's married."

"Marr- How can you do that to a good man!"

"She just got married. Not everyone knew she wasn't a man."

John's eyes bulged. "You mean... You and Eikenberry were seriously... Screwing with each other? And he's a she?"

'Yeah." He rolled his eyes.

"What'd her boobs look like? Are they so small that you can hold them in your hands? I prefer the big ones. But not so big that they start to look like grapefruits but no so small that you can barely tell trey're there. I like it when the nipple blends in with the skin not when it's all dark like chocolate. And no hair either. Only men reserve the right to have hairy nipples and..."

Hiei flopped out of bed. "I'm out of here."

"Why do they always run?"

--

Shura woke up in the middle of the night to get a midnight snack. He walked in the darkness and saw mukuro sitting in the kitchen holding her arm in one hand and with the other holding it to her nose.

"Can't sleep?" he asked. He knew the answer. He saw what happened to her but hell, might as well play the part of the clueless little kid like he always did.

Mukuro glanced at him like a beat dog. "Go to sleep."

"Me neither. Keep thinking about naked women."

"Say what?!" She nearly fell over. "You disgust me! And you're only twelve!"

"I'll be thirteen in September. But I stay with older guys. They know the stuff. You were thinking the same thing? That'd be great."

"I thought you hated that kind of thing."

"No. Homosexuals are gross. But lesbians are great."

"They're the same."

"No, otherwise I'd hate them!" He went to a cabinet.

"Get me some chocolate and marmalade while you're up there." She watched him.

"You're gross." But he gave it to her anyway. He looked for a knife. "And I told you not to marry my father."

"I had no choice."

"Fine, I'll forgive you if you give me a German chocolate cake."

"A what?'

End chapter 53

That was anticlimactic.