Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera, or anything else mentioned that is recognizable.

I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.

Maybe I am becoming an alcoholic.

For some reason, the thought of being addicted amused Chris Sabin. He knew it was serious and whatnot, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Once upon a time, he declared himself a drunk, and liked to think he was still nothing but a merry drunk, but he seemed to fall on the bottle more and more lately.

If he kept on like this, it would eventually spill into his work, and he swore to himself he wouldn't let that happen. He refused to plan out a life where he couldn't wrestle at the Impact Zone. It was his passion, and losing it would inevitably lead to becoming an actual alcoholic. The kind of person he and Alex made fun of all the time.

Although, he was pretty damn sure Alex Shelley would be the first to make fun of him if his life spiraled away because of a dependency on the bottle.

But his battle plan was simple. Drink just enough to dull the edge of all the shit he was dealing with, with his parents and with AJ, but not so much that it would jeopardize the things he liked about his lifestyle. And in his mind, Chris Sabin was just stupid enough to pull it off. After all, he'd been able to the past few weeks.

Although the horrific sounds of 50 Cent blaring through the barely adequate sound system might just be enough to drive him to total self-destruction.

He ordered another beer, taking a long drink once he got it. That was his life; balancing out what was good about his sham of a life with the amazing healing power of alcohol. And he sort of kind of liked it, at times, but other times, it truly and sincerely sucked.

"Hey." He looked up as a woman with dark curly hair sat next to him, smiling. She was wearing way too much makeup and smelled like she drenched herself in perfume, but she was pretty damn gorgeous. And he couldn't care less.

"Hey." Chris raised his glass before turning away, taking a drink.

"What's a good looking guy like you doing hanging all alone here?"

"Isn't it usually the man's job to come up the a woman with the lame icebreaker?" Chris asked. The girl laughed before turning to the bartender, asking for a margarita. He gave himself a point; he figured her the type, down to the strawberry flavor.

"You're funny. I like that." The margarita came a few moments later, and after taking a few sips, she started talking again. "And besides, I'm a go-getter. I see what I want and I... go get it." She grinned at him, and all Chris could think was 'when was she planning to leave?'

"I'm here for alcohol therapy, Miss. Conversation's not on the menu today."

"Well, what happened?" She asked, "I hear talking things out can be good for a person, and I've been told that I'm a fantastic listener. Want to talk things out with me?"

"Actually, no. Not really." Chris finished off his beer, slamming down the bottle before wiping his mouth. "Like I said, here to drink. Not to talk."

"I just want to help," she said, looking offended by his answer. That was his attention, but apparently, it wasn't enough to send her packing.

"Well, you can't, Miss, so…" He began waving his hand in a 'shoo' gesture, and her confused frown became an angry scowl.

"Fuck you, faggot!" She stood up, grabbing her margarita off the bar before stomping away. He heard the bartender yell for her to come back, to pay for the alcohol, and he just shook his head, smiling.

What do you know, even sluts can tell. He put his card on the table, telling the bartender to charge it. He wasn't going home too drunk to function, but just drunk enough to fall asleep without much thought. Because thinking hurt way too much.

The faster he was in his bed, the sooner he could escape his thoughts without the aid of alcohol. But until he finally made it to slumber land, he was stuck with the one question: how long until AJ Styles put that diamond ring on Taylor Wilde's finger?

Chris Sabin wasn't the only person wondering that. AJ was too. But unlike Sabin, who thought it was only a matter of time, AJ was getting more and more certain that there was no way he could live with himself if he did propose to her. He could lie to his parents, his friends, his coworkers, and everyone else in the world, but he couldn't lie to God. And if he held Taylor's hand on the altar, promising to love and cherish her for life, he'd be lying to God.

He didn't love her, so he couldn't marry her. But if he didn't marry her, if he didn't stay with her, it would be harder to admit that he was pretty much unhappy with the box he shoved himself into. Besides that, she was Taylor freakin' Wilde. If God had ever made a perfect wife for him, it was Taylor Wilde. And if he couldn't work it out with Taylor, it was pretty obvious to him that he couldn't work it out with anyone.

He thought obedience to the scripture was supposed to work. But he wasn't healing. And the more time went on, the more he doubted he could ever be cured.

When he was younger, he would kneel in front of his bed before going to sleep, praying with his head bowed and his hands clasped. As he grew older, he began to have more and more actual prayers in bed, staring up at the ceiling in hopes that he wasn't committing sacrilege by not getting on his knees.

Taylor lay in his arms, completely oblivious to the thoughts going through her boyfriend's mind. She was incredible. AJ did love her, for everything she was, but it wasn't the kind of love that meant they should start a family. She deserved someone better. Someone who did love her enough. Someone who wasn't in the screwed up predicament AJ was in.

He watched her quietly, trying not to wake her up. She had no idea what she got into when she asked him out months ago. She had no clue. He couldn't help but feel terrible about everything he'd done. He'd been so focused on his own issues and his own errors that he didn't stop to think about her. He was going to hurt her, undoubtedly, whether he stood with her or not. Because he didn't love her.

He sighed quietly. "What the heck should I do?" he asked, mostly to God, but to anything that could give him the right answer. What did He expect from him? What was he supposed to do?

He laid there, awake, waiting for an answer, some sign from above.

Nothing came.

AJ placed his hand on the back of his head; Lethal's enzuigiri still rang through him, and he had no doubt it would still even the next morning. It was too true; even when you win, you lose. But he was used to pain, and he had no issue dealing with it.

"You okay, buddy?" He turned around, smiling at Lethal. He looked worried; AJ knew that most people in their first few weeks in a new company were anal about their performances, afraid that any misstep could get them released prematurely.

"Definitely. Can't keep a warrior down." AJ's smile made Lethal smile back, calm down some. He half expected Lethal to bug him until AJ had to practically shout that he was all right, but Jay seemed to accept it.

"Warrior my ass." He slapped AJ on the back. "Hey, thanks man."

"For what?"

"Oh, so that's how it's gonna be?" They both laughed and Lethal waved, walking away, leaving AJ to himself. He hadn't meant to take so long changing, but his head was still pounding, and he frequently stopped to take a breather. If his head still killed him the next day, he'd consider checking in with a trainer.

Soon, he heard a knock on the door. He stared at it, confused, but then another knock came. No one knocked on the locker room door. He pulled his jacket on before walking to it, opening the door, but then it was nearly yanked out of his hand.

"What the heck?"

"Sorry AJ, I… what if guys are changing in there?"

"Taylor? What're you doing here?" He sighed. "Turn around, I'm opening the door." He waited a few seconds before opening it, seeing the head of blonde hair before him. Once the door closed, she turned around, studying him with worry.

"Are you fine?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I passed Jay, and he said you were kind of out of it… are you hurt? Do you need to see a trainer?" AJ shook his head, and immediately wished he didn't. He hissed, and Taylor's face immediately contorted in concern. "You are not okay, now come on, you should see someone…"

"Taylor, please. I'm fine."

"No you're not…"

"Honestly Taylor, you worry too much. I'm fine. Now, let's go." He began to walk, but Taylor put a hand on his stomach, stopping him.

"Even if you are fine-" Her voice obviously showed she didn't believe him, "You're in no condition to drive. Give me the keys."

"Taylor, I'm fine."

"Give me the keys."

"I said I'm fine, Taylor. "

"But I just don't understand why you can't just give me the keys!" Taylor shouted, "Gosh, I'm sorry I gave a damn."

AJ stopped, sighing. "I just… it's a little sore, but nothing some sleep can't cure. I've been wrestling for a while now. I know my limits, and if I was truly hurt, I would get checked out." Taylor smiled, finally convinced. She patted his arm before giving it an affectionate squeeze.

"You better be good, you bum." They began walking together, and the more they moved, the more guilty AJ felt. But he was okay; there was a little pain, but he was okay. Maybe he should've just given Taylor the keys. He didn't have to push her. Especially since he was still wondering about their future.

When they got to the car, AJ pulled the keys out of his pocket, tossing them to Taylor. She caught them, pleasantly surprised that she was holding them. "What's this?"

"Take them. Maybe it'll be good for me to lay back."

She nodded. "Glad you could see things my way." She moved closer, pressing her lips to AJ's. "Get your cute butt into that car, let's go." They got into the car, and AJ laid against the door, watching as Taylor pulled out of the lot. He took a deep breath, trying to relax, thinking about everything.

She was so caring, so perfect.

He couldn't love her.

He couldn't even give her keys without being guilted into it.

"Taylor," he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I've got to talk to you." She didn't turn much, trying to keep her eyes on the road, but instant worry crossed her face.

"What's up?"

He took a deep breath. "I screwed up, Taylor. Badly."

"Baby, if we have to go back to have someone look at your head, just say something…"

"No. It's not my head." He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. "It's you and me."

And as soon as he said it, he wished he waited until they were off the road to bring it up. Taylor attempted to keep her eyes on the road, but AJ could tell she didn't want to pay attention to anything other than him. "What do you mean? Is this about the keys? I'm not mad at you AJ. I'm driving now, it's not an issue."

"It's not the keys, Taylor. It's you and me, us."

"Okay, I'm confused now. I don't get it, what're you trying to say…"

"I can't do this, okay?" Each added word felt like another mistake, but he couldn't stop. He had to tell her, and his impulses were demanding he tell her now. "I just can't do this."

"What, you can't do… us? You gotta be clearer, AJ, because right now it kind of sounds like you want to break up."

AJ's eyes were on her; there was no trace of humor in them. "I'm sorry, Taylor."

"This isn't funny, AJ, and come on, I'm driving here…"

"I'm not joking. Taylor, I can't do this, not anymore. I'm sorry, but I can't."

"What, is this some kind of payback for the damn keys? Really AJ, this is just a little immature..."

"Will you listen? It's not about the darn keys; I don't care about them."

"So then where is this coming from? Huh? You haven't mentioned anything like this in the past few weeks…"

"I know I haven't, and I'm sorry…"

"Stop saying you're sorry and just come out and say what you really mean!" Taylor screamed. It was the first time AJ had heard her so angry. She was usually so calm, so relaxed. "Fuck AJ, just say it!"

"I really wanted to love you, I did…" Her hands tightened on the steering wheel, her body almost recoiling at the word 'wanted'. "I had a lot of issues when I decided to go out with you, and I thought this could solve them…"

"You don't love me."

"I'm sorry."

"Just shut up!" A horn honked behind them, and Taylor screamed out her window at the other driver before turning her eyes back on the road. "Don't say any fucking more. I can't believe this. I must be pretty stupid, huh? To think you actually cared?"

"Taylor, it's not like that, I do…"

"Don't. Bother." Taylor shook her head. "I don't care anymore." It was a lie, but it was one she believed at the moment. But AJ knew she still did, and that she was upset. He wanted to explain that he did care, and that he never meant to hurt her, but he couldn't find a way to put it to words.

He could never put into words exactly what he wanted to say to her in a way that would make her believe him; that she was amazing, and that it wasn't her fault, and that he did love her, even if it wasn't in the way he claimed to before. But he knew it was impossible, so he kept his mouth shut until they were able to get off the road- and to somewhere they could go their separate ways.

Christopher Daniels sat up, the soft pitter-patter on his door pulling his attention away from his sit-ups. He stood up, grabbing his towel to mop up the sweat on his forehead, before walking to the door. He looked through the peephole, scrunching his face in confusion.

He opened the door, studying his best friend. AJ had one hand on his head and the other held his gym bag. He looked at him, visibly upset, and Daniels automatically knew something was wrong.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Don't wanna talk about it," AJ said softly, "Man, please, don't ask any questions right now, I'll tell you everything later… just let me stay here tonight. Please."

Daniels didn't push; he just gave AJ exactly what he asked for, moving out of the way and letting him inside. AJ took off his coat and sneakers and dropped his bag on the floor. He looked like shit. The first thing that came to his mind was Taylor Wilde- were they fighting? Just a few weeks ago, he saw that AJ bought a ring. There was no way they could be fighting already. But then why else would AJ be here, instead of his own room with a woman he was prepared to make his fiancée?

I just hope he's okay.

AJ woke up the next morning, the picture of Taylor's screaming face imprinted into his mind. He ran his hands over his face, taking a deep breath. It had to happen, but he hated thinking about how he hurt her. He'd left her with the rental and the room, although he wished he thought to go to the room to get his luggage at least. He'd slept in the shirt he wore yesterday and his underwear. Not like he had much choice.

"Hey, you're awake!" AJ sat up, looking over at Daniels. He smiled, walking over to his friend, sitting next to him. "You sleep well?"

"Yeah." Quick, one worded answer. It must've been a terrible night for him.

"Well, sounds like bullshit." AJ didn't respond, making Daniels sigh. They weren't going to get anywhere soon. "Hey, Allen, you want me to order some breakfast? Anything you want, all on me. Come on, I know you're hungry. Free food, all for you…"

AJ laughed, unable to keep the smile from his face. "I can do with some food."

"Atta boy." Daniels patted his leg, leaning over to the bedside stand and grabbing the menu. He tossed it to AJ. "Go ahead, pick whatever you want, I meant it. All for you."

"Sweet." AJ began looking through the menu, and, even though he looked better than he had moments ago, Daniels knew he was still not anywhere near fine. "You know, you don't have to tell me anything… not until you're ready. We can have fun today, okay?"

"That sounds great." AJ nodded for a moment before looking away. He began to stare at the menu, but he wasn't actually reading anything. He was remembering Taylor, the way her face looked as she fought hard against the tears threatening to form, the words that came out of her mouth when AJ couldn't give her a good explanation for why their seemingly happy relationship was suddenly coming to an end. He remembered how he hurt her.

And then he remembered that he had none of his stuff. Only his wrestling equipment and what he wore to the last event.

"My luggage," he said, "I… need to get my bags. They're in Taylor's room." Taylor's room. Not their room. Hers.

"I can ask someone to pick them up for you," Daniels offered, "Yeah, you focus on picking some chow, and I'll call in a favor. Who's staying at your hotel?"

"Um… Reso's there. Jarrett too, I think. Shelley and Gail." He purposely left out Sabin's name, but there was a part of him he wouldn't admit to later that threw out Alex's name because he knew Daniels would choose to call him. And there was no way Alex Shelley would keep such a thing a secret from Chris Sabin.

"Alright then, I'll call up Alex. What room?"

"324."

Daniels nodded, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. AJ kept his attention on the menu, not paying attention to the call, wondering how Daniels would explain this to Alex. He couldn't help but imagine how things would go once Alex knocked on the door, asking for his bags. He wondered if Taylor was even alright- he knew she wouldn't be great, but he could only hope she was at least okay.

After a few rings, Alex finally picked up, sounding bored. "Tell me you have tickets to something awesome and want to take me."

"Why would I take you?"

"Because I rule, why wouldn't you take me?"

"Whatever, whatever. I don't have tickets to anything. I need to ask you a favor."

"Christopher Daniels, you want to ask me for a favor and you don't have anything for me? Tsk tsk."

"Let's be serious here."

"Okay, super serial moment." There was a moment of complete silence, and Daniels wished that Alex was right next to him so he could smack the stupid out of him. "What's up?"

"I need you to go to AJ and Taylor's room and pick up AJ's bags. As soon as you possibly can."

"You need me to go to AJ and Taylor Wilde's room to pick up AJ's bags?" Daniels moved the phone away from his ears; he said it pretty damn loud.

"Yes," he snapped, "Will you just do it?"

"Yes, yes I will. God, no need to get touchy." Daniels gave him AJ's room number and the directions to where they were staying. As soon as he hung up, Daniels looked over at AJ, who was still staring at the menu.

"You know what you want?" He asked softly.

AJ looked up, almost unsure whom Daniels was talking to, but after a moment, he nodded. "Nah, I have no idea. Didn't really think about it." He looked back down at the menu, but then he let his gaze meet his best friend's. "Chris, forget the food for a moment, I… I gotta talk to someone."

"I'm listening," Daniels said simply, not adding anything. He didn't want to push AJ, not when he was like this.

"I think you may have guessed." AJ put his hand on his head, moving his fingers against his scalp. He hadn't admitted it to anyone; he hardly even admitted it to himself anymore, and here he was about to spill his guts to Christopher Daniels. "Taylor and me broke up."

Daniels nodded, letting AJ talk at his own pace. He let the unspoken why sink in; AJ knew that Daniels knew how serious they'd gotten, he'd seen the ring, and from his standpoint, he should've been looking at a soon to be married man.

"I should have never been with her," AJ muttered, "Chris, I don't even know how I got here sometimes. I just… I screwed everything up. But I swear, I never meant… I tried to do right. I really tried."

"Just relax for a moment, will you?" Daniels reached out, putting his arm around AJ. Holding him. "Listen. So the relationship didn't work. That happens all the time, even to the best of relationships. Doesn't mean you messed up."

"No, I… you don't understand. Can I… tell you something?"

"Of course."

"You can't tell anyone, though. No one."

"Do I look like the kind of person who would spill your secrets to every Tom, Dick, and Harry? Come on AJ, you know me better than that." He waited, watching AJ wrestle with whatever was on his mind. "Look, you don't have to tell me anything, we can really just go eat…"

"I had feelings for someone else," he interrupted, the word 'had' immediately replacing itself with 'have' in his head as soon as he said that. And with that, he stopped struggling with the words and they just began spilling out, something like vomit.

And he couldn't stop until it was all out.

Chris pushed Alex as soon as he hung up the phone, making the other man jump back. He stood next to Alex as soon as he repeated what Daniels said (obviously for his benefit), ear as close to the phone as possible, trying to get some kind of clue as to what was happening. "What the heck is wrong with you?"

"Who was that? Why do they want you to pick up AJ's bags? What's going on…?"

"Chill out, will ya? Chris asked me to grab the boy's bags and bring them to his hotel. I don't know why, or what's going on. He didn't say."

"Why didn't you ask?"

"Shit, because I doubt even Danny knows." Alex put his hand down, motioning for him to cool it. He walked to his bag, pulling out a pair of jeans and just pulling them on, not even bothering to take a shower. He was curious, and he was concerned; it was enough to throw out the basic rules of cleanliness. "I'll figure it out when I get there…" He turned around, blinking at the sight of Chris pulling up his own jeans. "Whoa, you're not coming."

"Yes I am."

"No, you're not."

"I'd like to see you try to stop me." They stared at each other for a moment, practically daring the other to test them. Finally, Alex sighed.

"Whatever. You're a grown ass man, you can make your own mistakes." He shrugged, pulling on his sneakers. "Let's do this." Chris didn't see how it was a mistake, but he didn't argue. He just followed him out as fast as Alex allowed, still wondering what the heck could've happened in the past few weeks since he'd seen the engagement ring that would've lead to all of this.

As soon as they got there, Alex knocked on the door, almost rhythmically. The knock got a more and more concrete beat when the door was practically ripped open. Taylor was much shorter than them, but at that moment, she seemed a lot larger than she actually was. "What're you doing here?" She snapped.

"I… uh…" Alex looked at Chris, wondering if the usual sugary-sweet Taylor had some bitchy twin sister. He turned back to her, smiling awkwardly. "Well see, we're here to pick up AJ's bags. You mind, we'll just go right in…" He moved towards the space between her body and the doorframe, but she moved to the left, blocking it with her body.

"He's not even man enough to pick them up himself?" She laughed hollowly, before turning around and heading into the room. The door closed in Alex's face, making him blink.

"I think it's safe to say that there was a break up," Alex whispered.

"You think?"

The door suddenly opened again, and it took all of Alex's hand-eye coordination to catch AJ's first bag and keep it from slamming too far into his stomach. He let out a breath, and Chris reached out slowly, grabbing the other bag from Taylor's hands before she could throw it. She glared at him, making him step back under her gaze.

"I'm sorry, Taylor," Chris said. He'd imagined this happening many times, but he never thought about how Taylor would look post breakup. It was terrible, seeing the genuine pain on her face.

"I'm sure." Taylor nodded; there were plenty of things on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't say them. She refused to blow up in front of people; it hurt, yes, but she was going to maintain as much dignity as humanly possible. "See you guys around." She closed the door, a little louder than she wanted to, making them jump.

"Let's go." Alex walked away, muttering about how he wasn't the one who broke up with her, Chris falling in line with him soon enough. He thought about telling Chris to stay again, but he knew he wouldn't go for it. He was determined to go with him, no matter how this would play out for him or AJ. Sometimes, it really seemed like he did these things to himself.