So...um I don't own the songs used here. They belong to Michael Jackson and Madonna. If I did own the songs I would also be attempting to blackmail Ryan Murphy into using this plot for the show in exchange for using the songs on the air. See how I roll?
"I'm telling you we can get that microphone out of her hand." Kurt insisted as they made their way behind the stage area and out of April's immediate eye sight.
"And I'm telling you she's stronger than she looks." Matt argued right back. "She has a tighter death grip on that thing than Rachel on a solo."
"Oh please. All we have to do is set up a glass on the other end of the rink and make it look like it has a drink in it. She can't walk straight! She trips and we sweep in and grab it."
"She's honestly not that bad."
"Have you been hearing the same songs I have?" Kurt asked. "I freely admit April is a gifted and insanely talented vocalist but her taste in song is about as tragic as her fashion sense."
He actually did have a point there, Matt had to concede. If had had known when April had promised to help him, her idea of help was to include her in no-way sober renditions of what she considered appropriate songs, he would have tried to come up with a Plan B. It had been funny when she started with Lady Gaga's "Love Game" and made a big production of pointing to them every time the phrase "disco stick" was mentioned. However it had moved into the disturbing category when she started introducing songs with some sort of connection to Mr. Schue and a dream she had about him. Spanish class was going to be very difficult to get through knowing his teacher was the inspiration of April's treatment of "All the Man That I Need".
"Wooo!" April cheered as the band finished the last note. "Now one last song before we take a little breakie-poo for a drinkie-roo."
"Oh we did not just hear her say that." Kurt gasped between laughs as they both almost fell over. "Seriously you should have set up a video camera. No one is going to believe us."
"Yes. Come to watch April Rhodes, stay to mock the date." Matt nodded with mock seriousness. "Because none of our friends would ever think to do that." He skidded to a stop and held up his hand as a familiar set of opening notes hit his ears. "Oh she is not doing what I think she's doing."
I Took My Baby
On A Saturday Bang
Boy Is That Girl With You
Yes We're One And The Same
"Give me a second." Kurt insisted. "I know I know this song."
"Oh I think you probably do." Matt admitted.
Now I Believe In Miracles
And A Miracle
Has Happened Tonight
But, If
You're Thinkin'
About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're
Black Or White
Kurt didn't even try to disguise the explosion of laughter that sprang from him. He immediately fell on the polished floor of the rink and tried to cover his mouth. Matt joined him, both of them laughing even harder ever time April tried to show off the upper limits of her range within the song. He would think he'd be able to get the laughing under control (after all they were the only ones in the place and once the band stopped playing April would be able to hear them), he'd catch Kurt's eye and that would set them off again.
"I hope Mr. Schue never decides to do something with the songs we auditioned with." Matt managed to say. "Because I am not making it through this song without laughing ever again."
"You auditioned with this song? I don't think I ever knew that." Kurt tilted his head to the side. "Not the best fit for your wheelhouse."
"Well I didn't exactly pick it to show off my voice." Matt pointed out. "It was mainly for the dancing."
"You're going to have to explain to me one day why you would join a choir and not think about singing."
"Says the person who joined the football team and danced to Single Ladies."
"Hey! Won the game to Single Ladies." Kurt protested in mock outrage. "Let's get it correct now."
"It was a show choir and while I knew you could dance, the other two male members were Artie and Finn. I could out-dance Finn by seventh grade. I think the line of reasoning Mike hit Mr. Schue with was you can't have a show choir without a show."
"I'm kinda glad Mr. Schue bought that." Kurt teased.
"Oh. Just kinda glad. Thanks." Matt teased right back. "I still won the bet."
"I don't think so. We still have to debate that."
"Oh just admit I won. We both know it."
"Alright. We're going to take a little break and wet the old whistle." April's voice cut through the speakers. Looking to the side of them, Matt and Kurt could see the band already leaving the stage. "So grab your favorite guy since that's the way you swing, and enjoy this couple's skate."
"Barry! Lights! Cue the tape!" She snapped into the microphone, while she looked towards the bar area. (Hey there was a reason Rinky Dinks hadn't caught on with the lucrative middle school crowd, Matt mused to himself) The unseen Barry obeyed his command and the rink was darkened almost immediately, the only real light from the disco ball that hung above the stage. It was lame, clichéd and a bit dorky, but Matt had to admit, it was also pretty romantic too. From the look on Kurt's face, he seemed to share his assessment.
Swaying room as the music starts
Strangers making the most of the dark
Two by two their bodies become one
"At least her taste in pre-recorded music is superior to her performance choices." Kurt sighed as Madonna's voice washed over them.
"Admit it; you'd love to hear her actually sing this song though."
I see you through the smoky air
Can't you feel the weight of my stare
You're so close but still a world away
What I'm dying to say, is that
"I'm not even ashamed to admit that in the least."
I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you
Scooting himself a little closer, Matt reached out and grabbed Kurt's hand in his. From where they were, they were somewhat hidden by the drum kit. Yes they were the only ones skating, but still the band was here. Not to mention April. And Matt couldn't be sure he saw her actually put down her glitterified microphone before wandering towards the bar. He didn't trust her to comment on anything they were doing in the least.
"So do you want to skate some more?" Matt offered.
Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all
Kurt scooted himself closer to Matt, smiling the entire time. "I think to protect my anti-jock rep; we need to stay back here."
Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I'm deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind, you'll see
"Anything to protect your rep." Matt whispered as they closed the distance between them. As their lips touched, Matt cupped Kurt's face with his hands as Kurt wrapped his arms around Matt's neck. Now this, Matt thought as their lips moved against each other, this was good.
I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you
It's all brand new, I'm crazy for you
And you know it's true
I'm crazy, crazy for you