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Chapter 19:

I spent the next two days with my foot stuck in an ice cold bucket. It wasn't broken, thank the lord, but the swelling was ghastly. With a little rest and ice to subside the pain, the puffiness gradually went down. And by Thursday morning I was walking on it again, which sadly meant I had to attend school that day, having missed the first three days due to my unfortunate disability. It hadn't been so bad though, daytime TV proved an interesting experience, but unlucky for me did nothing for my ever growing thoughts.

Edward had text me everyday, asking me how I was getting on. I wasn't as cheeky or as playful as I'd usually be in responding, answering his questions with seriousness, one worded answers for some of them, sometimes even ignoring him completely. Childish? Perhaps. But I was allowed to be! I was still mad at him for how he'd treated me following our passionate encounter, and despite his apology, I was still affected by his change in personality. My confusion over the kiss, or his reaction to the kiss, also adding to my grudge against him.

On the Tuesday he'd even invited me to the cinema, he was working that night but offered to sneak me in for free. I didn't text back at first, annoyed at his cheek, but the longer I left it, the more I considered his potential emotional state. He'd seemed so down when he'd dropped me off home following our camping trip, and I hated the thought of him ever being upset and worrying over me. So I text him back some thirty minutes later, saying thanks, but that I was still bed bound.

He'd text me back two seconds later saying; That's a shame; I've missed you these past two days =[ The offers there when you feel up to it though. E xxx

And I almost cried at how much I'd missed him too. Thankfully Emmett came in and dumped his work stuff all over the living room floor, so I took my anger out on him. A little outburst of verbal abuse was like therapy. And I felt so much better having done it. Not that Emmett seemed to appreciate it though…

"Bella!" Alice's voice announced at my presence, as I made my first appearance at school in 3 days. Had she always sounded this high pitched? I thought to myself, after having spent 3 whole absent days away from her. Alice's arms flapped around me like wings before I even had the chance to step out of the truck. "How are you feeling? How's your foot? Is it better?" she then proceeded to fire questions at me.

"It's ok" I hopped out, and she held my arm to steady me. Balance wasnt usually my forte' on an average day. "I can't run marathons anytime soon, but hey, I wasn't planning too" I smiled, and she offered me a sympathetic head tilt.

Jasper approached a few seconds later, giving me his usual gentlemanly head nod. And turning back to the truck I slammed it shut, giving a smile of goodbye to my bother as I did.

"You be good little sis! I don't want to hear of anymore sprained ankles, got it!" warned Emmett, flashing a toothy grin Alice's way before making a move.

I gave him a wave as I watched him leave, before turning around to face my friends. It was then that I noticed something peculiar. The one person, who of late, had been attached to Alice's arm like a leech, was the one person that wasn't there.

Edward was nowhere to be seen. So much for hoping things would just miraculously go back to normal… apparently they hadn't. And I hoped I wasn't too obvious as I scanned an eye across the grounds to seek him out.

"Are we missing one today?" I tried to sound cool about it.

"No, he's here. I'm just not sure where" Alice smiled nervously. "He's been a little distant this past week" the look on her face indicated her concern. "I think maybe he's practicing piano or something. He mentioned he's performing in the Christmas Concert, so, he's probably there".

"Oh, yeah, of course. You're probably right". We made our way into the building then, but there was no stopping my pining eyes as they continued to search for him.

……………………………

It was break time, and yet, still no sign of Edward. I couldn't handle it any longer; I needed to see him, to know he was alright. So my feet led me to the place I was certain he would be; the Music building, in the smallest room, at the furthest corner of the hallway, tucked away for only a select few to see.

I didn't even have to guess that he was in there as I entered the building. I could tell, because I could hear him.

Peering through the window like I'd done once before, I located him. He had his back towards me as he played to himself. He was alone.

An overwhelming feeling of sadness struck me down. So much had happened in such a short space of time. After a mere 4 weeks of knowing him, I felt like he'd become my new best friend, but what started out as merely platonic was now full blown love. We'd gotten so close over the past week, first with my birthday and then with camping. But every time we even neared the possibility of something happening, the shutters would come down and he'd pull himself away from me. I pleaded to know why.

And then there was the kiss. My first kiss; what an unbelievably wonderful disaster that had turned out to be.

I put my hand up against the window as I stared through at him absentmindedly, imagining I could touch him with my fingers, run my hands through the soft strands of his hair, but the moment alone with my thoughts was quickly brought short.

"Well hello again dear" a voice I recognised but couldn't put a face to, appeared behind me. I turned on my heel to acknowledge it, and at the sight of her, I remembered her from the last time I'd spied on him, and she'd caught me in this exact same position. She was the music teacher.

"Oh …Hi again" I felt awfully awkward as I suffered a déjà vu moment. "I seem to be making a habit of doing this, don't I?" I tried to joke, but my smile started to falter.

She smiled back at me softly. "You are free to go in you know. He's only practicing. Not that he needs to of course" she rolled her eyes lightly.

"Oh, I don't know" I responded sceptically as I glanced back to look at him, he was totally zoned out; at one with the piano. "I don't want to interrupt him".

"Nonsense! I'm sure he'd be happy to see you … he's been so troubled lately" her voice was laced with sadness; "very quiet and not his usual self. You should go and talk to him". She'd opened the door before I had the chance to object, and scurried off in the opposite direction not a second later.

I stood at the door just watching him then, able to hear him play for the first ever time with no barrier between us. He didn't know I was there, and I certainly wasn't going to inform him… until he'd finished the song of course.

It wasn't what I'd hoped for though. Sure, he could play magnificently, that was a given. But the song wasn't as sweet, as lively or as happy as I'd expected it to be. It was dark, droney and sad, and as it barely reached a peak for happiness, it slumped again. I wondered what would ever drive him to play such a thing… and then I remembered.

The music stopped, and I held my breath. He spoke my name then as he kept his back towards me.

"Bella?" he said softly, and I wondered how he even knew I was there. Turning his head he smiled sincerely.

My heart felt as though it had fluttered up into my throat as I looked into his eyes for the first time in days. Had they always been that blue? "Hey" I raised a hand in an attempt to wave, but it didn't really happen, I was too dazed by the ocean-blue intensity of his eyes.

"You can come in you know" he told me as I realised I still remained halfway out the door.

I smiled embarrassed. "Thanks" I hesitantly stepped inside. "I'm sorry to, interrupt," I signalled to the piano. It was then that I noticed his tired eyes. He looked exhausted, about as good as I felt actually. It definitely wasn't the Edward I was used too.

He shook his head lightly and smiled back; still as beautiful as ever. "You weren't interrupting."

My mouth opened to speak, to ask how he was, but that song he'd been playing still rang through my head like a siren. Perhaps his song had been a mirror of his mood, and how depressed he was? I just had to ask. "What was that song, Edward? It was so, sad".

He nodded slowly, turning away from me. "I wrote it on the night I returned home, after your fall" he spoke distantly as he stroked the keys of the piano, his comment much to my surprise.

My forehead scrunched up as I frowned in bewilderment. "What?" my heart broke, and my voice almost cracked in my throat. Did that mean the song was about me then?

But he rose from his feet, and that smile I loved so much of his returned. "I'm glad you're back. How's your foot doing?" he changed the subject, taking a step towards me. And his flippant moods were quickly giving me a headache.

"It's fine, thank you," but my face remained strained, I was still stuck on the song comment. Unlike Edward, I didn't have the ability to take on an alternate personality within the blink of an eye.

"Good, I'm glad; because we need you right for this weekend" he reminded me gleefully, and it took me several moments to recall the plans I'd made.

Oh, his sisters party. I'd almost forgotten. I paused, taking a thoughtful moment before I answered. "Yeah, about that... I've thought a lot about it, and, I've decided I'm not going to go" I tried to let him down as best as I could, hoping he wouldn't take it too badly. But who knows, maybe he didn't even want me there anymore; given 3 days ago he could barely look at me.

"What? Why not?" his face dropped to an all time low, and I felt like I'd just been gutted. Apparently he still cared about me going after all.

"I … I'm not feeling up to it. I'd only just sit there and ruin everyone else's night" I brushed it off, trying to look at anything but his saddened eyes. "Plus, I don't really have anything to wear. Nothing I own would look even half decent in a place like that" I told him before finally looking him directly in the eye. "I'm sorry". And at that, I offered him a small remorseful smile. "I'll, leave you too it" I added, before I turned on my heel and walked away; hating every inch of myself as I did…

…………………………

(2pm – Later that day)

Walking across the School parking lot I had only one thought on my mind. It was official, everything was screwed up. My friendship with Edward was right out the window. How could someone gain a best friend in such a short space of time, to only lose them even faster! It must have been me; maybe I'd been pushing something that really was only one-sided. And now I'd gone and compromised my friendship because of my feelings for him. Nice going Bella!

I'd embraced these kinds of negative thoughts over the past week, pondering the possibility that I'd lost Edward forever and it was all my fault. A little dramatic perhaps. But reality had set in now, and after confronting him for the first time in days, it seemed things were ten times worse than before. Never would I have ever imagined it to become this bad; where we could barely be in the same room as each other without feeling uncomfortable.

As I grew lost in my own little world of doom and gloom, a car pulled up beside me, whilst the blackened passenger-side window slowly wound down. "Hey Bella!" the voice called out to me, and I remembered her as Rosalie, Edwards sister.

"Er …Hi" I peered through the window; not having expected to see her, "Rosalie, right?"

"Please, call me Rose" she told me. "I hear you have a free period?" she exclaimed, showing off her pearly whites.

"Oh. Yeah, I do actually. How'd you know?" I asked through my confusion.

"Edward told me. I'm here to pick you up".

"Pick me up?" my face scrunched up. "For what?"

"For our shopping trip of course" she went on. "For this weekend".

"Oh" I paused, slightly taken aback. Had we already made plans? Was I losing my mind as well as my best friend! God help me. "Well, actually, I've already told Edward I'm not going. I'm really sorry".

"Yeah, I know, why'd you think he called me" she looked at me pointedly. "I'm sorry Bella, but you're now officially bound to this weekend. You can't get out of it that easily" she answered smartly.

"But…"

"I wouldn't bother" she was quick to interrupt. "You're not going to win this argument, it's a done deal" she smiled sweetly.

I huffed in irritation; my fury over Edward only increasing because of this. "But Emmett's coming to pick me up at 3; he'll be waiting for me."

"Emmett? That's your brother right?" I nodded in return. "Nope, he won't be. Edward told Alice to text your brother. He's completely aware of our little arrangement. I'll also drop you home afterwards so you don't need to worry about getting back".

I went to open my mouth to intervene but it was no use.

"Well come on then. You're not going to find a dress just standing there" she leant over, pushing the passenger side door open, and I was a little surprised the doors didn't open automatically by themselves, the vehicle looked incredibly high-tech otherwise.

For a moment I contemplated making a run for it. But given my unsteadiness and the fact that my right foot now often gave way due to heavy pressure, I would no doubt be on the floor before I'd even managed a couple of steps. Not to mention I feared she'd go to all lengths to hunt me down… and possibly run me over in the process. A way out was all looking rather bleak. So I relented and jumped inside.

"Excellent" beamed Rosalie as I sat beside her. "Do you like shopping?"

I yanked on my seat belt, pulling it across. "Well actually, I kinda hate it" I looked at her straight faced.

"Well, you're in for a treat then aren't you" her wide eyes sparkled at me. And I found that hard to believe; I would've much rather spent my last free period moping around in my own misery. But alas, that was apparently too much to ask for. "You're going to hate it on a whole other level when I'm through with you" she smirked, as she pulled down her shades which were perched on top of her head; suddenly reminding me of that she-terminator from the 'Rise of the Machines'.

A feeling of sheer dread filled my stomach at that, but I didn't have much time to think, as she'd stepped on the gas pedal with her 3 inch heels, and we made a brisk stint towards the shopping mall.

…………………………

She drove like a maniac. And for each second we were driving I silently prayed for my life to be spared. I didn't think my heart could take much more after that… but there'd been no time for resting, as she'd parked up, marched into the store with me in toe and gone straight for the designer dresses. I'd never seen so many, there were racks upon racks of dresses, in every colour, length, style you could imagine. Alice would've had a field day here, for me on the other hand, it was all making me feel rather dizzy.

"This one is a definite must" she spoke mostly to herself, as she flung the dresses she'd chosen over her one arm, whilst I sat back to one side. It seemed so much easier to just let her get on with it.

"Alright, why don't you go and try these five on first" she said after a little over 15 minutes, and she walked towards me, handing me the dresses; they weighed a ton as she plonked them into my arms, "I'll bring some more in later if those dont do the trick".

She'd practically shoved me into the changing room after that, telling me to inform her when I was wearing them, and she'd offer her critique. I felt like I was being confronted by Alice's evil twin sister. I'd gladly suffer shopping with Alice everyday if it meant I could escape this.

As predicted, by me of course, the dresses failed to impress. They were perfectly lovely on the hanger, but once I had them on, my body changed everything. I'd never been a dress person, the only one I owned was bought by Alice for my birthday… and I considered that a total one off. Alice had gotten lucky when she'd stumbled across that one.

Today though, we weren't so lucky.

As I slipped off the fifth dress, my interest and energy in this little shopping trip of ours deteriorating with each outfit, I heard a sound that could seriously challenge Alice's vocal abilities.

"Bella, I've found it!" she was practically squealing in excitement as I remained within the confines of my cubicle walls. A second later she was banging on my door. I almost didn't want to open it, but I threw on my sweater to cover myself up before putting her out of her misery. I opened the door.

"Here" she handed me the dress before I could even think, it felt so soft as the material caressed my fingers. "And if that one doesn't look stunning, I officially give up. There is no hope for you if that one doesn't do it," a smile teased on her pink lips, and she closed the door behind her, leaving me to it.

She may have been a shopping trip nightmare, but she knew her stuff. And as I stepped into the dress, zipping up the back as best as I could, I felt like a million dollars. I wasn't far off in fact, as it came in at a tidy price of just under $2,000.

"Well?" she pressed, from where she lingered outside the door. I didn't provide a verbal answer; I just opened the door for her to see for herself.

"Wow" Rose was almost speechless as her eyes lit up in astonishment, and we both stared at my reflection in the mirror. "That's definitely the one. You'll certainly turn a few heads with that" she said as she sprawled my hair across my shoulders, fanning it out to enhance the look. "Oh and, just in case you were wildly curious" she latched onto my arms and came closer. "Edward's favourite colour is purple" she smiled in pleasure.

And despite the butterflies in my stomach, I turned back to look at her in question. "Rose, why are you even doing this?" I asked, as my curiosity got the better of me.

She pulled back, her brow puckering. "What do you mean?"

"Well, are you trying to fix us up or something? Because I honestly wouldn't waste your time. It's no use, not even a purple dress would change Edwards mind now".

"Oh Bella" she sighed, "you're totally right. Of course the dress wouldn't make a difference. He'd already made his mind up about you weeks ago, it's just taken him awhile to process it" she shrugged a little.

I scoffed a pitiful laugh as I shook my head. Hearing only what my paranoia was telling me. "Figures. I knew he wasn't interested" I turned away from her to re-face the mirror.

She laughed softly. "No, that's not it at all. Quite the opposite in fact" she told me gently, and her expression was warm and genuine.

Now that intrigued me. Especially coming from his sister, who was a valuable source. I turned back with intrigue; Goosebumps suddenly rising on my skin as nervousness threatened to overwhelm me. "Has he said something to you?"

"He doesn't have too, he's my little brother Bella, I know him better than anyone" Rose went on. "He's just … been through a lot this past year or so" sadness hindered her voice, and a feeling of tightness covered my chest, I hated to think Edward would've suffered, in any way prior to him coming to Forks.

"What do you mean?"

A flicker of regret flashed through her eyes, like she'd said too much. "It doesn't matter. Why don't you change out of that and then we'll pay," she went to walk off, but I grabbed her arm, preventing her from leaving.

"Rose, you can't just say that to me and then walk away. What is it? Tell me" I urged her, my vision on hers.

She sighed after a moment, appearing to back down. "Very well… But not here" she momentarily analyzed the space around us. "This calls for coffee" she seemed to tease. And I realised that must've been a Cullen trait, because she had that same startling ability as Edward, the one where they could go from completely depressed to light and happy within the blink of an eye. An annoying characteristic they shared, but I would willingly put up with it, if it meant I'd finally get some answers…

Please comment and we shall finally get a long overdue look into Edwards past =P