Final Fantasy VII [3rd Instalment]

Emerald Princess of Vernea

Part Twelve: Memoria

Chapter Thirteen

Everything was dark. Tifa was resting on a cushion of shadows, lying motionless and slowly spinning round and round as she descended deeper into the darkness. There was no sound, no movement. No breeze rustled her hair. The sound of her breath as she slowly exhaled was dull, as though the sound waves simply vanished upon leaving her body.

Tifa lay there, perfectly still, her thoughts drifting. Was she dead? In her mind she went back to those last few moments. The last thing she remembered was falling into the Lifestream. The water had closed around her like a warm blanket; warm, yet suffocating. She had been pulled down and down, deeper beneath its glimmering waters. Cloud was right beside her, his eyes closed as he, too, sank further. She had had reached for him, desperately trying to hold onto him.

Then everything had gone dark.

After a few minutes of swirling about in the dark, Tifa finally awoke. She opened her eyes and stared ahead. She was unable to see a thing except for her own body. She lay there, staring into the darkness. Although she was unable to feel the movement, she could sense her body spinning. As she became more aware the spinning began to slow down until she came to a dead stop, hovering in the darkness.

"Wh, where am I……? What's happening? I……?" Tifa blinked a few times, trying to force her sluggish mind into wakefulness. She took a deep breath and tried to stand up. Although she was unable to see anything, she felt the presence of a floor beneath her feet. Cautiously she rose to her feet, placing one foot gingerly in front of the other. The floor seemed stable enough.

Tifa lifted her head and looked around. The darkness was impenetrable; she could not see a thing through it. She also realised, to her horror, that she was alone.

Tifa's heart leapt to her throat. "Where's Cloud……!? Cloud, where are you!?" She started to take a step forward, but stopped as a noise suddenly rang out in the darkness. She froze, listening intently.

The noise was static. It was the same kind of static that could be heard from a radio that had not been tuned in. The sound came from all around her, coming from every single direction. Tifa felt it crackle around her, even through her, making her heart beat rapidly in her chest.

Then, amidst the static and the noise, she thought she heard a voice. It was not a physical voice, nor was it a spiritual one. She could not explain it. It was as though the words just suddenly popped into her head.

"Huh……" Tifa blinked, confused. She listened. "What……? Wha……?" She shook her head. "Who is it……? I can't hear……" The static slightly increased in volume, and the floor beneath Tifa's feet started to spin steadily. Tifa listened as the words entered her head, harsh and accusing. She turned sharply. "Wait a minute……! I don't know anything about that!" she shouted to the darkness. She turned back. The ground began to spin again. More words followed. "No!" Tifa protested. "It's not me……! I'd never do anything like that!!"

The static grew in volume, this time to painful levels. Tifa cried out in pain and clamped her hands over her ears, trying to drown out the voice. It was a futile effort. The static continued to ring around her, piercing her mind, her body, and her soul.

"No! Stop it……! Stay back!"

She started to run, trying to escape from the noise. It was impossible to tell if she was moving anywhere or if she was just running on the spot, for the darkness was so thick she could not see if the ground was moving. Still the sound rang in her ears, and she closed her eyes tight, pushing herself as hard as she could go. The sound followed her, relentless, screaming at her.

"Somebody…… help!" Tifa called. "Please!"

As she ran, she tripped and fell onto her knees. She opened her eyes again and stared down at the unseen ground, her mouth open, panting hard. Still the static around her crackled and shrieked with words only she could hear.

Why? Why was this happening? And where was Cloud!? Tifa couldn't understand it. What was this unseen voice that was shouting at her so accusingly? Was this… the voice of the planet? Was it the planet that was screaming at her, condemning, demanding an answer? What did the planet think that she had done!?

Another sound penetrated the darkness. It was the sound of gunshots, numerous, loud and deafening. Tifa's eyes widened and she bit her lip as the shots rained around her, unyielding and unending. Fear clutched her heart as the pure black of the shadows slowly changed to a deep crimson, giving her the feeling that she was now drowning in a pool of thick blood. The sickening taste of iron filled her mouth.

She coughed and gasped, trembling. "Cloud, help me!" she cried desperately. There was no answer, just the sound of the planet's angry, pain-filled cries. Tifa, beset by fear and pain, lost her strength and fell forward until she was lying flat on the ground. The terrain span again. The floor beneath her began to descend rapidly, carrying Tifa with it.

"Eyaaaaghh……!"

When Tifa next opened her eyes, she found herself lying face down in a dimly lit area. The static had ceased, leaving the land eerily still and quiet. The ground beneath her was hard and uncomfortable. She stretched out a hand and touched it gingerly. It was rock, and it was definitely there this time. She sighed in relief.

Slowly, carefully, Tifa pushed herself to her knees. Her head was pounding painfully. The sound of gunshots still rang in her mind, but they were beginning to fade now. Tifa tried to stand, staggered, and then stood upright.

"…… ……Where am I……?" she said aloud, and her voice echoed back to her.

As she spoke, a light suddenly filled the room. It was as though someone had just turned the lights on. The whole area became filled with a bright white light, tinged with pale green. Tifa winced and rubbed her eyes. She blinked a few times to adjust her eyes to the light. Then she looked up and gasped.

Hovering in the air not ten metres above her head… was Cloud. He looked different: his body was translucent, like a ghost. He was on his knees and writhing as though he were in pain. His hands were pressed against his head, and his eyes were squeezed tightly shut. She watched as he opened his mouth to cry out, but no sound came out.

Tifa stepped forward, her eyes still fixed upon him. "Cloud!? What is it, Cloud? What is this……!?"

The fighter pulled her gaze away from Cloud and looked around her. She was standing in the middle of a large rocky platform, bathed in the strange white-green light. There was no ground supporting the platform; it seemed to hover in the air by some unknown force. As for the surrounding landscape, there was little. The scenery above, below and around her was nothing more than a swirling, dark green cloud.

Three paths branched off from the main platform where Tifa stood, each heading off in a different direction. More floating platforms were at the end of each path. On these were things Tifa recognised from her memory, but she was distracted from these as she realised that there was a person sitting at the end of each path. The three figures had their backs to Tifa, but there was no mistaking that spiky blond hair, or the SOLDIER uniform they all wore.

She started, awestruck. Each one of them was Cloud.

"Is this the inside of your dreams? Or is it…… your…… subconscious?" Tifa looked up again at the ghostlike Cloud that writhed in seeming pain above her. Then she lowered her gaze and looked at the other three, from one to the other. She was beginning to understand just what this place was, and why she had been brought here. "You're searching, aren't you Cloud?" she said. "Searching…… for yourself……"

The fighter clenched her fist tightly. "I can help too," she said. Her lips pressed together firmly, and she raised her eyes once more. "We'll work together to get the real you back! But…… Where do we start……?"

Tifa turned and inspected each platform. Each one bore a significant event in Cloud's memory, of that she was sure. The platform ahead of her had an old wooden well in its centre. The one to her right had a stone path leading into a town. The third was the strangest of all, for all it contained was a brick wall and a window. Tifa did not dwell on that one too closely, but she had a feeling she knew that window, somehow. She turned and looked at each in turn, wondering where to begin.

"The gates of Nibelheim…… Five years ago, Sephiroth passed through these gates…… And…… That's how it all started……"

Tifa turned as the Cloud sitting by the town entrance slowly climbed to his feet. She went over to join him and stood by his side. Cloud's head was raised, looking up. Tifa followed his gaze. Hanging overhead was a familiar wooden signpost. The word 'Nibelheim' was painted on it in big, black letters. Tifa stared up at it.

"It connects…… to Nibelheim……?" she asked. She nodded. "That's right… It's probably best to start from there……" Taking a deep breath, she walked forward and approached the stone path. She stopped at its edge and looked back at Cloud. "Let's go have a look, Cloud. I know it's not easy…… But I'll be right with you……"

Cloud did not move. He stayed rooted to the spot, staring into the town. Tifa smiled at him gently and then walked into the town.

As soon as she stepped on the path, a gust of wind blew and ruffled her hair. Being carried on the wind were all sorts of smells, all of them familiar. It stirred the memories that Tifa had locked in her heart, and she thought she would not be able to continue. Her heart was stuck in her throat. She let the wind wash over her, taking it in, before swallowing the lump in her throat and walking into the town.

Everything was just as she remembered it. Ironically, this town was identical to the current Nibelheim, the one that Shinra had built after the fire. But her feelings for this Nibelheim were different from the feelings she felt for that Nibelheim. She had felt betrayed looking at the other Nibelheim. Shinra had created it, after trying to eradicate everything that linked it to Shinra and Sephiroth. It was no longer her home. Every person, every memory, everything… they had all been erased. But this town that she saw now… This was the Nibelheim she knew.

"Cloud… look." The fighter ran forward and stopped underneath the signpost. She looked further inside. The whole town was there. She could see everything as she had done years ago. There was her house on the other side of town, with Cloud's house just next door. In the centre of town, she saw the old well. "Here's the well..." she said, and then turned to her left. "And that's Gramps' Inn, too."

She turned and ran over to an old truck parked just outside the town gates. Fondly she laid a hand on it. "The only truck in town," she said, and her eyes filled with memories. "It's been here since we were little kids, right? This is the Nibelheim you remember, right?" She looked up at Cloud. He still stood outside of the town, his eyes following her every move. Tifa smiled and nodded. "It's the same as my Nibelheim," she told him. "That's why this place is…… our Nibelheim."

Tifa walked away from the truck and returned to the gate. A shadow appeared where she had stood, sitting by the truck. It was a shadow of Cloud. The darkness receded, leaving only Cloud behind. He stood slowly, his blue eyes glazed as though he were in a dream. He looked at Tifa distantly, and then looked down at the ground.

"Five years ago… two men from SOLDIER came…" began Tifa. She looked once more into the town. "Sephiroth and…… a young and vibrant soldier." Turning away from the town, she looked at Cloud. "Can you tell me again what happened?"

The Cloud standing before her vanished and then reappeared by the town gate. Tifa joined him, standing on the other side of the gate. A third figure appeared between them. It was Sephiroth. He looked so real that it was hard to believe he was nothing but a memory. The soldier raised his head and looked at the town, his face impassive. Then he turned away from the town and spoke to the empty air.

"How does it feel?" he asked.

"Five years ago…" Tifa began. "I saw the real Sephiroth for the very first time."

Cloud looked at her, and then turned his eyes to Sephiroth. Tifa did the same. She tried to recall her first impressions when she first laid eyes on the tall, silver-haired man who, back then, was one of Shinra's most famous and highly-prized members of SOLDIER. There were few back then who did not know the name of Sephiroth, much less speak his name without feelings of awe and envy. Even in this country town, Sephiroth's name was spoken with awe. It was soldiers like Sephiroth, and other top-ranking soldiers, who made men aspire to join Shinra's elite army, SOLDIER. All of this went through Tifa's mind as she watched Sephiroth speak once more to the empty air.

"It's your first time back to your hometown in a long time, right?" said Sephiroth. "So how does it feel? I wouldn't know because I don't have a time…"

Another voice then spoke, echoing in the air around Tifa. She also saw, in the corner of her eye, Cloud's lips moving in unison with the words, speaking out the memories.

"Ummm… how 'bout your parents?"

At this, Sephiroth crossed his arms and looked down in thought.

"So this is… the Great Sephiroth," Tifa whispered.

After a moment's thought, Sephiroth finally spoke. "My mother is Jenova," he answered the unseen voice. "She died right after giving birth to me. My father…"

Tifa caught sight of a slight smile spread on Sephiroth's face. She was surprised. That smile, although not polite in the least, was so unlike the cruel and calculating smile that she had seen on his other avatar. Of course, she had almost forgotten. Sephiroth had once been more than just a powerful soldier. He had been a respected leader, and a role model to all young men.

She shivered as Sephiroth began to laugh, his hand over his mouth to hide his smile. "But to tell you the truth, I thought he was very cold," she admitted.

Sephiroth finally stopped laughing and took a breath. He shook his head. His long silver bangs swayed across his face. "What does it matter…?" he asked. He turned towards the town. "All right, let's go." He walked forward.

"I remember, I felt a foreboding about him." Tifa looked down and bit her lip.

Three more lucid figures appeared behind him and approached the town. One of the figures was Cloud, standing at the rear of the trio. The other two were Shinra soldiers in pressed blue uniforms. The three became solid as they stepped onto the stone path, and came to a stop before Tifa and Cloud.

Cloud raised his eyes and gazed upon the memory of himself as he was five years ago. This was as he remembered it: himself entering Nibelheim with Sephiroth. He walked forward and stepped into the image, which rippled as he did so. The two merged as one being. Cloud then looked at Tifa, to see her response.

Tifa's eyes saddened, and she shook her head regretfully.

"No, Cloud," she said. Her heart ached in her chest. Unable to bear the pain, she turned away from him. "I've been hiding it for some time, afraid that if I told you… something terrible might happen. But, I'm not going to hide anything anymore."

At this, Sephiroth and the two soldiers vanished, leaving only Cloud. Tifa took a deep breath, sighed heavily, and then turned to face him. His eyes were fixed on her. His expression was earnest, yet fearful. Tifa felt her heart wrench in her chest, but she had no choice now. The truth had to be told.

She took another deep breath and said: "You weren't here. Cloud did not come to Nibelheim five years ago."

These were the words Cloud had feared. He lowered his head. A look of anguish crossed his face, and Tifa thought her heart might break in two. As hard as it was, Cloud had to know the truth now. There was no turning back.

Another person appeared by the town entrance. It was Tifa, as she was five years ago. She was sitting on the dusty path with her eyes fixed on the floor. Her hands played absently with the laces of her knee-high boots. She looked as though she was waiting for someone. Every so often the younger Tifa would look up and gaze out of the town, but then her eyes would return to the ground, and she would sigh sadly. Tifa gazed upon her younger self. Their expressions were mirrored.

"I---waited," said Tifa. "But, Cloud… never came." Her younger self suddenly lifted her head, as though she had heard something. She stood and looked down the path. "The two that were ordered here were Sephiroth and another person…"

As they watched, the younger Tifa's eyes opened wide as she spotted someone approaching down the path. Swiftly she turned and ran back into the town, leaving a trail of dust in her wake. Sephiroth's image returned in her place, and he turned to look down the path.

"All right, let's go," he said.

The two soldiers reappeared, walking past Cloud and coming to stand near to Sephiroth. Cloud turned to look behind him as a third figure drew near. His eyes widened; his face paled. It was not him who was walking up to the gates of Nibelheim. It was somebody else. A different soldier; he was also wearing the uniform of the Shinra SOLDIER First Class. He was taller than Cloud, with a strong, well built frame. His face was kind and he was probably no older than twenty, if that. His eyes were blue and had the same bright glow that was the trademark of all members of SOLDIER.

Cloud stared at the young soldier, his eyes growing wider. Strapped to the young man's back was the Buster Sword, the same sword that Cloud was wearing at this very moment. His hand strayed towards it, but he froze as the young man came to a stop before him and looked around at his surroundings. His eyes met Cloud's, although he did not see him. A white light filled the landscape, and the young man and Nibelheim faded from view. When it faded, Cloud and Tifa were back on the stone platform, just outside of Nibelheim. The young man was gone.

"You mean—" Cloud whispered, his voice shaking, "—that member of SOLDIER who came with Sephiroth wasn't…… Cloud……?"

"There's nothing…… I can say……" said Tifa. She turned away from him again. "You must find the answer yourself…… If you can't…… Then you……"

She cut herself short, refusing to finish what she had been going to say. It was not for her to decide what would happen if Cloud could not find the truth within himself. It was all up to Cloud. All she could do was stand with him as he uncovered it, piece by piece. She was worried that Cloud would try to rush and force some kind of truth from his memories, in his desperation to find himself. She saw that desperation, that yearning, in his eyes. Tifa straightened her face and turned back to him.

"Take your time, Cloud," she said. Her voice was soft but stern. "Slowly…… Little by little, okay?"

Cloud looked back at her and his blue eyes filled with a longing for the truth. He looked back at Nibelheim. Tifa watched him, and she wondered what thoughts were going through his head right then. She could not even begin to guess, but she could tell by the spasm of pain that crossed his features that they were troubling. His fists clenched, then relaxed. Cloud lowered his head and sank slowly to the floor, sitting once more on the path, staring into the town.

Tifa returned to the central podium. There was nothing she could say that would ease Cloud's fears. For better or worse, he had to uncover the truth behind himself. There was no time for false promises or kid gloves.

She came to a stop in the middle of the platform and looked at the two remaining paths, wondering which one she should take next. The platform to her right held an image of the old wooden well in the middle of Nibelheim. The other platform was still a mystery to her. No matter how hard she tried, she could not figure out what that window was meant to symbolise. She started to head towards it, but then changed her mind and headed towards the other platform. She stopped on the path behind Cloud, who sat gazing up at the well.

Sensing her presence behind him, Cloud stirred and rose to his feet. His gaze rose above the well, to the eerie luminescent sky, and he shook his head sadly. "That starry night at the well…… And our promise that night…… What if the memory was just a lie?"

"Don't hurry, Cloud……" Tifa told him softly. "Don't answer too quickly." She reached out and brushed her fingertips against his arm. Her touch drew Cloud's gaze away from the sky, and he glanced over his shoulder to look at her. "Just keep checking all those small emotions and it'll come back……" she said. "Slowly…… little by little…… Right… like the sky that night…… the heavens were filled with stars……"

Cloud's eyes half-closed as he tried to remember the scene. The landscape stirred, and the glowing green sky shifted and grew darker, until it was a beautiful nighttime blue. The sun was still setting in the distance, and the horizon was a mid-blue. Stars emerged from the heavens, twinkling with their own inner light. Looking up, Tifa felt herself getting lost in the vast ocean of stars. Yes, this was the sky she remembered.

Tifa pulled her gaze away from the stars and looked over at Cloud. He, too, was gazing up at the stars. The fighter reached out and touched his arm, drawing his attention once more. He looked at her, and she smiled.

"From the beginning… okay?"