PERFECT SYMMETRY

4. Love, maybe you'll feel it too.

Leah,

It's hard trying to fit all I have to say, all I want to say to you. But I'm going to give it a shot.

Saying goodbye to you was something I never wanted to do. Something that scared the crap out of me. I had in my mind these scenarios of you leaving the pack, leaving for college, or leaving to see the world, leaving to start another life, leaving to be with another man, leaving everything and everyone else, leaving me behind. You leaving me. It was always like that. You leaving me, never the other way around. I know you Leah, if any of this hadn't happened, sooner or later you would've been fed up with the Cullens, the pack or me and you would've left, and no human or supernatural power would've been enough to make you stay.Doesn't mean I wouldn't have tried. Because I had even considered commanding you to stay. I couldn't afford to lose you. It's really hard trying to let you go.

I know I was an asshole to you for a long time. And I hate myself for it. How much time did I waste. How much time did we both waste pissing each other. Fighting. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I had opened my eyes sooner. If I had seen you before the imprint. It's stupid and masochist but I can't help it. People who make us happy are never the people you expect. I heard it somewhere, and I now believe it couldn't be more true. You made me happy,you really did. I wish I could've done half of what you did for me. I know it's obviously too late and maybe I am being selfish dropping this on your plate. Because I should've said it sooner or kept it to myself. But I just can't help myself. I can't go into battle without you knowing of my true feelings. I love you against all odds, and possibilities. I fucking love you.

And yes I am the world's biggest coward, because I can only bring myself to write it when fate has doomed this foolish dream of mine. When you can't scream at me or beat me for this.So I better take advantage of that fact.

Leah you are one of a kind. You are meant to do great things. And regardless of what you believe I also know you're meant to have it all. You just wait and see. I know that this doesn't mean much now. Because if you're reading this shitty letter, it means we failed, and the fight happened. And you're running away. I could't promise that I would come back, because we knew this could happen And bullshitting each other has never been our thing.

I swear I'll try to keep Seth out of harm's way, I'll do my best . Promise me you'll do the same. That you'll try your best too. For their sake and your own. Love them Lee. Llove them and teach them right. Be happy, see the world, and keep them safe. I know how strong you are. I know you Leah Clearwater. You can't fool me. You'll live though this. You're a survivor.

I can't say goodbye not yet. It would be wrong to say goodbye. I can only say that wether it's in this life or in the next, I hope we'll be seeing each other again. And I'll promise I will let you kick my ass for being such a pansy.I love you and I'm sorry.

Jake.

When she's finished with the letter, the ink has turned blurry, the paper is wrinkled and torn apart at places, and even a drop of blood has been smeared on it. No coherent thought can be formed. She can only feel. And right now she hates him exceedingly, because she loves him. Leah loves him and it's a tragedy because he'll never know. She hates him because he loves her and it's a fucking tragedy that she knows.

a/N: i know many of you are confused as to what's happening hahaha but that's the charm hahahaha. thanks for reviewing.

xtapx: hahaha i thought you would like a fic without spoilers hehehe but let me know if you really want to know the outline hahaha

hilja:the packs are fighting off the volturi, the volturi want to get rid of the major threat to their kingdom

doublecaramel: thanks! and we'll see the three imprints who stayed on la push soon don't worry. its safe to say rachel's going to be fine hehe i have a soft spot for her too. well pretty much for everyone in the wolf family except for emily sometimes hahahaha

Only4miken:thanks and i hope with every passing chapter it gets less confusing

Jada91: haha yes emily will be sorry hahaha

it's kinda of late but i updated.