Final Fantasy VII [3rd Instalment]

Emerald Princess of Vernea

Chapter Fourteen

Cloud and Tifa stood together on the old well. The buildings of Nibelheim were all around them, dark and silent. Only the inn remained in full light as business went on well into the night. Tifa ignored the town and kept her eyes fixed on Cloud, who in turn kept his eyes lowered to stare at the wooden planks.

"Try and remember Cloud," said Tifa, and Cloud raised his gaze slightly, looking at the corner of the well.

Two small figures appeared, sitting on the corner between him and Tifa. One of those figures was Cloud as he was seven years ago, aged just fourteen, tapping his feet against the wood. The other was Tifa, aged thirteen. Tifa examined the memory of her younger self closely. She paid particular attention to the way her younger self was dressed; a beautiful turquoise dress, and high-heeled shoes.

"Right, I was wearing these clothes," she said, nodding satisfactorily. She then turned her attention to the younger Cloud, in his white T-shirt, still tapping his feet against the wood with a nervous look on his face. "That's you, too. You were so small then……" She sat down beside her younger self, imitating the way she sat. She smiled; a soft, tender smile. "…And cute."

Tifa turned her head to look at Cloud. At the same time her younger self also turned and looked at her own Cloud. At Tifa's gaze, Cloud looked away, unable to face her.

"Sephiroth once said…" began Tifa. "Cloud made up his memories by listening to my stories…" She raised her eyes to the starry sky above them. "Did you imagine this sky? No, you remembered it."

The fighter drew her knees up to her chest as she gazed up at the stars. The beautiful stars, thousands upon thousands of them, glittered and twinkled in the sky. Tifa knew that up there in the sky, thousands of planets were being born. New life would emerge from the Lifestream, just as they did on this one. A never-ending cycle of new life all there in that single sky. Tifa closed her eyes, remembering that night.

"That night the stars were gorgeous. It was just Cloud and I. We talked at the well…" She exhaled softly, and opened her eyes. "That's why I continued to believe that you were the real Cloud. I still believe you're the Cloud from Nibelheim…"

As she talked, the young Cloud and Tifa continued on in silent conversation. Their lips moved voicelessly, oblivious to the presence of the older versions beside them. After a while the young Cloud stood up and faced Tifa. He spoke, and his words caused Tifa to stare in awe. Cloud then walked away from them all and went round to the back of the well. A few moments later he appeared at the top of the well and looked up at the sky, seeing his dreams in the stars.

"But you don't believe in yourself…" continued Tifa. She, too, raised her eyes to the heavens, and this time her eyes were filled with sadness. "These memories aren't enough…"

The memories of their younger selves faded. Cloud and Tifa returned to the stone path. Tifa's face was troubled; her brow creased in deep thought. After walking a few paces she stopped and turned to Cloud.

"Cloud, what about your other memories? No, not memories," she said, shaking her head. "A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? That's why it can sometimes be mistaken for a different thing……" Her brow creased further as she trailed off. Cloud watched her as she mulled things over in her mind, talking quietly to herself.

"But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart……" she whispered. "That's why it must be a fake. If he could recall up that memory…… That's it!" she announced, slamming her fist triumphantly into her palm. "What about some memory that has to do with me? I say something and you don't remember it…… But you say something, and I remember it, too… Then we'll know that's our memory…… Talk to me. About anything, some important memory to you… Now that you mention it, why did you want to join SOLDIER in the first place? I always thought it was a sudden decision you made……" She looked to Cloud, waiting for his response. His expression was pained, as though even this memory tortured him deep inside.

……I was devastated. ……I wanted to be noticed.

"……I was devastated. ……I wanted to be noticed," answered Cloud finally. His words were soft, barely above a whisper.

"Someone to notice you…? ……Who?"

Who……? ……You know who! ……You, that's who.

Cloud sighed heavily. "You……"

Tifa blinked. "……Me? Why!?"

"Tifa…… Did you forget…… about those days?"

The fighter jumped, startled. Those words had not been spoken by the Cloud standing before her, but from someone else. Quickly, Tifa turned to look behind her.

Sitting on a pillar around the central platform was Cloud. A young Cloud, just as he was seven years ago. He sat there, one knee drawn up to his chest, and the other swinging back and forth, his heel tapping the stone. Tifa stared up at him, her eyes wide, wondering if he was the one who had spoken, or if he was another memory summoned by Cloud's subconscious. The young Cloud raised his head and met Tifa's gaze. His eyes were different from the Cloud she knew. They did not have the mako-induced glow. However they were alert and responsive. Although they did not have the same mako-glow that Cloud had, they were very piercing, staring at Tifa intently.

"Look…… I……" Tifa shook her head. "I'm sorry…… But what are you talking about?"

The young Cloud pulled up his other knee and stood up. He peered over the edge of the pillar, measured the distance, and then jumped off. He walked to the middle of the platform. "No…… it's all right," he said, though his voice sounded sad. "You were having a hard time back then. You were so busy with your own things, it's only natural you don't remember me back then."

Tifa walked back to the central platform, leaving Cloud to turn and sit back down on the path, staring up at the well. The fighter walked until she was just a few feet from the younger Cloud. There she stopped, watching him.

"'Back then'?" she asked.

Cloud nodded. Then he looked down and bit his lip. "It's important to me…… I hate to say it but… It's a very important memory…… Do you want to see it?" His eyes strayed across to the final path, to the closed window that lay at its end.

Tifa looked at the window, too. Once more she felt that she knew this window somehow. There was something very familiar about it, and yet unfamiliar at the same time. Where had she seen this window before? She walked down the path towards the window, the eyes of the young Cloud upon her. She walked up to the final Cloud, sitting on the path looking up at the closed window. Sensing her presence, Cloud stirred and spoke.

"……A sealed up secret…… wish…… Tender memories…… no one can ever know……"

Cloud stood up and stepped aside, allowing Tifa to pass. The young Cloud ran past her and went to the window, beckoning her to follow. Tifa did so and stopped beside him. Together they looked at the window. It was simple, made of wood, with glass that was slightly dusty. Tifa leaned forward and stared, trying to see inside. Was that a room she could see on the other side?

"Do you know where this window goes to, Tifa?" the young Cloud asked. Tifa shook her head, not taking her eyes from the window. Cloud smiled softly. "Fine……" he said. "I'll go." He looked back at the window.

Tifa did the same. She stared at the window, waiting for something to happen. She blinked, and when she opened her eyes she was startled to find that she was no longer standing outside the window. She was now standing inside a room: a room that she knew very well.

"My room?"

Cloud nodded. "It was my first time there."

It was indeed Tifa's bedroom, from her old home in Nibelheim. Tifa turned on the spot and looked around her. Everything was just as she remembered it. There was her bed, large and comfortable, with her favourite cuddly toys sitting by the wall. Her dressing table, her wardrobes, even her piano was here. She turned round and round, taking it all in.

She turned towards the wardrobe, and stopped in surprise. Sitting in the corner by the wardrobe was Cloud. He didn't seem to be paying any attention to her, or to his younger self, who was standing just beside her. He was looking at the window. Now Tifa remembered the window. It was her bedroom window, but only from the outside. No wonder she hadn't recognised it. She then realised what the young Cloud had said, and she turned away from the window to look at him in bewilderment.

"Was… it?" she asked, confused.

Cloud nodded. "I only used to look up at it from outside."

Tifa opened her mouth to speak, but before she could utter a word there was a second flash of bright white light.

When the light faded, there were four more people standing in the room with them. One of those Tifa recognised as herself, aged just eight. She was huddled in the corner between the bed and the window, her knees drawn up to her chest, her head buried in her knees. Her hair fell thick around her face, hiding it from view. Standing around her were three boys of a similar age… her closest friends.

Tifa took a step towards them. A wistful look came into her eyes, and her vision misted over as tears threatened to well up and pour down her cheeks. These boys… she had almost forgotten about them, it had been so long. She longed to reach out and touch them, to see if they were real. The boys gathered close around her younger self, awkward and sympathetic looks on their faces. Tifa started to reach out her hand when the boy by the window suddenly moved and looked out.

"Hey, look! Cloud's coming!" he said.

Tifa halted in her movement and quickly turned her gaze to the window. She hadn't noticed before, but the landscape outside the window had changed. It was no longer the platforms and the paths, but the town of Nibelheim. She could see the well in the centre of town, and the inn behind it. She lowered her gaze and saw Cloud running towards the house. He ran up to the gate and stopped, looking up at the window.

The boy by the window looked back down at him. Cloud didn't seem to have seen him, and he made no move to approach the house. He simply stood by the gate, looking up. "You think he wants to come in?" the boy asked, looking at Tifa.

Tifa did not answer. In fact she did not seem the least bit interested in anything that was being said. She raised her head slightly, but her hair kept her face hidden from view. She said nothing, and put her head back on her knees. Outside, Cloud finally seemed to make up his mind and ran into the garden, heading for the front door.

Tifa stepped back away from the window. Something seemed to be troubling her, and she turned to the young Cloud standing beside her. "Was that the first day you came into my room?" she asked. She thought harder, and then she sighed. "…That's right. We lived next to each other. But I didn't really know you that well. I've known you since we were children and always thought we were close…" She sighed again. At the same time, her younger self raised her head again and shook it slowly. She did not want Cloud to come in. Tifa took her gaze from them and scanned the room. "Now that you mention it…" she added. "I don't recall you ever being in my room…"

Cloud nodded. He looked over at the three boys gathered around Tifa. "Tifa was always with this threesome."

"…That's right." Tifa smiled.

"I used to think… they were all stupid."

Tifa spun round to face him, her eyes wide with shock. "What!?"

Cloud scowled and looked away, refusing to look at her or the other boys in front of him. "You were all so childish," he said curtly, "laughing at every little stupid thing."

"But we were children, back then," protested Tifa.

Cloud's features softened. A guilty look crossed his face and he turned away sheepishly. "…I know. I'm the one that was stupid," he admitted. "I really wanted to play with everyone, but I was never allowed into the group. Then later… I began to think I was different… That I was different from those immature kids. That then… maybe…" He fell silent, flushing in embarrassment.

A second flash of light filled the room. Tifa turned to the far corner, to where Cloud was still sitting silently. His image wavered and as Tifa watched a second Cloud emerged from the form of the first. His image flickered, becoming engulfed in a dark shadow almost every few seconds, as though he was not quite complete. He stood beside his young self. His voice echoed in the room, though his mouth did not move.

"Just maybe, they would invite me in. I thought that might happen, so I hung around…"

"I was so prejudiced," said the young Cloud regretfully. "And… weak." At this he clenched his fists tight, until the knuckles turned bone-white. He bit his lip and glared at the floor. His body began to shake, as though unable to contain his anger.

"That night I called Tifa out to the well… I thought to myself Tifa would never come… That she hated me."

"Yeah… it was so sudden. I was… a bit surprised." Tifa thought back to that evening; the evening Cloud announced he would be leaving Nibelheim for Midgar. "But… it's true that we weren't THAT close, but… After you left town, I really thought about you a lot. I used to wonder how Cloud was doing. I wonder if Cloud was able to get into SOLDIER?" She looked down and smiled, her cheeks flushing faintly. "I started reading the newspapers, thinking that there might be an article about you."

The young Cloud relaxed his fists and looked up at her. There was a gentle smile on his face. "Thanks, Tifa. Tell him what you told me, later. He'll probably be so happy."

"Okay!" said Tifa. She was happy to see such a sweet smile on his face. Now that she thought about it, the Cloud that she knew from her journeys had never smiled like that. It was nice to see that smile, if only on the face of a memory. She returned her attention to the room and to the four figures still in the corner. "Huh? What happened on this day? Was it a special day?"

The instant the words were out of her mouth Tifa knew she was wrong. It was a special day, but not special like a birthday or a wedding day. The atmosphere, the feeling, it was all wrong. Her friends all had worried looks on their faces, and her younger self was huddled up in the corner, trying to hide her face. Tifa's heart clenched tight as she suddenly realised what day this memory had come from.

The smile vanished from the young Cloud's face. He turned to face her. "This was the day…" he began, but could not finish. His adult self shook his head and looked away.

"Tifa's mother…"

Tifa finished it. "The day Mom died…"

Her younger self finally raised her head, and her face became visible through the long lengths of hair. Her eyes were red; her cheeks wet with tears. She struggled to meet the eyes of her friends. Eventually she gave up and put her head back on her knees, her hair hiding her face once again.

"I want… to see… mom…" she said brokenly. She then stood and fled the room.

Tifa felt tears come into her eyes. Had it really been twelve years since this day? She was ashamed to admit it, but she had almost completely forgotten about the day her mother died. The memories of Sephiroth and the things he did, including the murder of her father, had shadowed many of Tifa's other memories. It was… sad. Tifa caught her tears with the back of her hand, overcome, remembering the grief and loss.

"I wonder if there's anything beyond that mountain?" asked Tifa curiously.

She and her three friends stood on the winding path at the foot of Mt. Nibel, looking up at the mountain. The tears had now gone from Tifa's face, wiped away in anger as she stormed out of the house to come here. Her friends had come with her to this place, though they had no idea why she had come here. They simply followed her.

One of the boys stood further down the path and turned to her. "Mt. Nibel is scary," he said. "Many people have died there."

"No one crosses that mountain alive…" said the boy behind her.

Tifa turned to them, her eyes flashing in earnest. "How 'bout those that died?" she asked. "Did mama pass through the mountain?" She looked up at the mountain, with its grey, lifeless rocks, dipping paths, and treacherous passes. The children of Nibelheim were always told that they were forbidden to play here. In fact this was the closest Tifa had ever come to Mt. Nibel, and that she stood before it, she was filled with a deep longing to know what was on the other side. Perhaps the dead did cross the mountain and wait on the other side for the living to come and find them. Perhaps her mother was there, waiting for her to come.

With this thought in mind, Tifa's face settled in determination. She walked forward, past her friends, and stopped ahead of them. She raised her eyes to the mountain.

"I'm going!" she proclaimed, and then carried on walking boldly down the path.

Two of the boys walked after her, mimicking Tifa's brave face and confident stride. The third boy, however, was not so quick to follow them. He looked up at the mountain. The mountain was dangerous and filled with monsters, and although he was loyal to Tifa and to his friends, he did not dare follow them into the mountain. He shuffled uncomfortably, watching, before he turned and fled from the mountain.

On his way he passed Cloud, who had followed the group after they had left Tifa's house. He had not approached them but stayed a little way behind, just out of sight. Cloud watched in surprise as the boy ran past without even noticing him, heading back to town.

Cloud turned and looked down the path. He saw Tifa and the other two boys further down; they had reached the mountain now. They did not seem to have noticed that the third boy was not with them. Either they didn't notice or they didn't care, for they never even looked back to check. Without hesitation Cloud ran after them.

Tifa kept on walking until she reached the bridge. The bridge was years old and in very bad repair, and as such was likely very unstable. Tifa paid no attention to this and strode onto it without even altering her pace. Her heels clicked against the old wood, which creaked beneath her weight, but Tifa was unconcerned. Her mother was waiting for her on the other side of this mountain, and no rickety old bridge was going to stop her from getting there.

Her two friends also stepped onto the bridge. The boy in front suddenly stopped, and his friend almost walked into him. Their confidence and resolve to follow Tifa all the way had faltered the further along the path they walked. The four of them had always talked about ignoring their parents and crossing Mt. Nibel, but in truth it had always just been talk, no more than a game. To actually do it and cross the mountain was a different matter entirely. So they stopped. They did not call out to Tifa or try to dissuade her from crossing. They just stopped, looked at each other, nodded, and they also turned and ran away.

They also passed Cloud, who was following just a short way behind and had just reached the bridge. Like before, neither of the two boys gave Cloud a second thought as they hurried back down the path. Cloud went to the edge of the bridge and looked up at Tifa, who continued to walk confidently across the bridge even though her friends had now abandoned her. It was possible she had not even noticed they were gone, or if they had followed her in the first place. She held her head high defiantly, all her thoughts fixed on making it through the mountain.

Cloud stared up at her. He could not believe that Tifa's friends had abandoned her. What was more amazing was that Tifa continued on even though she was alone. Cloud had thought… had hoped… that if he followed Tifa and her friends into the mountain, they might see him and invite him along on their quest. Now Tifa was alone. It was up to him now to make sure that nothing happened to her. He hurried onto the bridge.

When Tifa next opened her eyes, she was standing in an area filled with a bright white light. Cloud was standing beside her, with his shadow standing between them. Their eyes were fixed directly ahead.

Lying on the ground a few feet away were Cloud and Tifa. Cloud was on his back, dazed. His knees were scraped raw and bleeding, but otherwise he looked okay.

Tifa, on the other hand, looked in very bad shape. She had cuts and bruises all over her body from where she had fallen, and her dress was covered in dirt. Blood leaked from a cut on her head where she had hit it against a rock. She was not moving.

"I don't remember the path I walked," the shadow Cloud was saying. There was a deep sadness in his voice. "Tifa missed her step. I ran to her… but didn't make it in time. Both of us fell off the cliff. Back then, I only scarred my knees, but……"

He fell silent as a man stepped into the light. He saw the two youngsters lying there, and when he saw Tifa covered in dirt and with blood across her face, he cried out and ran to her side. Another man ran in behind him. Tifa recognised him instantly; it was her father. He must have come to the mountain looking for her. Her father stared at her younger self, and then turned to Cloud, his eyes blazing with anger.

"Cloud! Why'd you bring Tifa to a place like this!" her father shouted angrily, shaking his fist. The other man gently scooped Tifa up in his arms, careful to keep her head as still as possible. At the sound of her father's voice, Cloud's body twitched and he slowly raised his head, groaning. "What the hell is the matter with you!?" Her father was practically screaming at him.

Cloud ignored him and looked over at Tifa, who was being carried away by the other man. He caught a glimpse of her face as she was carried away. Her eyes were closed as though she was sleeping, and she looked pale. Blood covered half of her face, and her hair was matted with it. She was not moving. Cloud paled at the sight of her and he shook his head. No, it wasn't real. He struggled to sit up.

Tifa's father was burning with a rage so hot it was almost physical. "What if she dies!?" he yelled.

He then cursed and walked away, following the man who held his daughter. They left Cloud behind, sitting there alone. Cloud closed his eyes and clenched his fists tight.

Tifa watched all this in utter silence. Of course, she remembered it now. She been striding along the bridge and not really looking where she was going. All her thoughts had been fixed on making it across the mountain and finding her mother. She had been close to reaching the other side when the plank beneath her split apart. She vaguely remembered hearing someone call out her name before she fell… and that was the last thing she remembered of that day.

"Tifa was in a coma for seven days," she heard Cloud's voice say. "We all thought she wouldn't make it. If only I could've saved her… I was so angry… Angry at myself for my weakness. Ever since then, I felt Tifa blamed me… I got out of control… I'd get into fights not even caring who it was."

The images faded, and everything returned to blackness.

"That was the first time I heard about Sephiroth. If I got strong like Sephiroth, then everyone might…"

They were now standing on the path in Memoria outside the memory of Tifa's bedroom window, just Tifa, Cloud, and his shadow. The young Cloud had vanished along with the final memory. The shadow Cloud tried to look at Tifa, but faltered, and was forced to look away.

"If I could just get stronger……" he said. "Then even Tifa would have to notice me……"

"So that was it……" breathed Tifa, nodding slightly. Yes, everything made sense now. Cloud's reason for joining SOLDIER… it was all because of that day. He had failed to protect her that day, and that failure made him decide that he would join SOLDIER, Shinra's most elite fighting unit. So that, next time, he wouldn't fail. "Sorry, Cloud. If I had remembered more clearly what happened, I could have done something sooner……"

The other Cloud stepped forward and shook his head. "It's not your fault, Tifa."

Tifa turned away, thinking. "But, I remember back when we were eight!" she said. She thought harder, and then her eyes lit up. "That's it! Now I know!" She turned back. "You weren't created five years ago! My childhood memories weren't all made up! Hang in there, Cloud! Just a little longer! You've almost found the real you!"

The two Cloud's nodded. There was a little more confidence in their expressions, as though pieces of the puzzle were finally starting to fit together at last. Tifa turned away again and looked around her. Her eyes strayed to the path on the other side of the platform—the path that led to the memory of Nibelheim. She nodded.

"Let's go back to Nibelheim again……!

The two Cloud's stared, confused, and then slowly nodded. Yes… if there was an answer to the puzzle of his memories, then it would be in Nibelheim. Everything began with Nibelheim, and there it would end. His shadow self raised his head and walked up to him. The two joined, merging together until they were one. Cloud then nodded again, this time more firmly. He then ran past Tifa towards the Nibelheim path. Tifa followed, watching him.

The truth was there, in Nibelheim.

A Note from the Authoress

Well, this is the last chapter before the New Year. Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a nice Christmas. I have a few bits of information for you.

I've added a poll to my profile page. You can now vote for which FF7 game you want me to write up after this one. I've got Crisis Core and Dirge of Cerberus listed. I also added Advent Children, but I doubt I'll be doing that one. I've begun script-taking for Dirge of Cerberus (currently at WRO Headquarters). My friend still has my PSP and copy of Crisis Core, though. Obviously there will be a good while before I get to that stage, but it means you all have plenty of time to vote.

Secondly, a few years back I made an FF7 video using the original fmvs. See my profile for details.

Enjoy your new year everybody!