Hey =] So sorry to have left this so long =[… and please read the authors note at the bottom of the page for info about future updates!

Thanks for reading :)

Chapter 21:

Present day.

For so long I'd craved to know what Edward was thinking. And while I had no precise access to his thoughts, hearing Rosalie's summary of their past meant I was no longer suffering the bane of confusion; I finally had an appreciation, an understanding and a grasp of the man behind the flippant moods. Although with that said, I could never know how he truly felt about me, was it love or simply a friendship he didn't want to lose? But I did feel I was in a much better position now. And I certainly wasn't about to sit idly by and watch our relationship, or whatever it was, slip and disintegrate through my fingers.

It had been almost 48 hours since the big revelation, and also 48 hours since I'd last seen or heard from Edward. I'd had a half day on Friday, which meant our paths didn't cross. To be honest, I was kind of glad about it. I wasn't sure how I'd react upon seeing him again. I knew so much, and yet he had no clue about it.

That of course led to my feeling of guilt, because while I was grateful that Rosalie had opened up to me, I was now struggling with the fact that I'd gone behind his back; knowing things about Edward that he hadn't willingly shared with me. How would he even feel once he found out what I knew? The last thing I wanted was for him to feel like we'd betrayed him, just like Lizzy, Anna and Matt had done that time ago.

In the end though, following much deliberation, I resolved that it was pointless getting so worked up about it. If his anger and pent-up emotion were being subjected on me, then I at least had the right to know why. And if he did later find out and feel betrayed, well, I'd cross that bridge if I came to it…

It was 6pm on the Saturday evening now. The evening of Rosalie's Christmas Party, and I was sat in the cab that Rose had arranged to have us picked up in. Alice and Jasper sat to my right; our bags were in the boot, but my dress on its hanger lay delicately across my lap. I had never been bought something quite so extravagant and expensive before, so I felt awfully protective of it. And there was no way I was going to shut it away and let it fester in the grimy boot of the cab, so I opted to keep it with me at all times.

Almost an hour had passed, by the time we'd pulled up onto the Hotel Car park. We'd grabbed our bags and were checking in come ten past 7. And before we could barely register and absorb the stylishness of our surroundings (the prestine marble flooring and matching reception desk were the first tip offs), we were being led down the hallway, through the French doors, across the path of the back 'garden' and into another building completely. We were told by the porter as we walked, that the building we'd checked in at, held the function room and bar and dinning area for the party tonight, while the one we were about to enter was the actual hotel. It had a Jacuzzi, swimming pool and Spa area on the upper floor, and held a total of 50 ensuites.

Talk about blind luck, but I had actually packed my bathing costume in with my luggage. And on hearing the porter mention a swimming pool, the idea of taking a quick dip sounded extremely appealing. But now, as I thought long and hard, taking careful scrutiny of the people around me, each one all well shaped and perfectly groomed, the idea of taking a leisurely swim was quickly turning into a potential session of self-humiliation.

Just the thought of me willingly stripping off my clothes, and presenting my naked body to a set of snooty and critical eyes, sent warning sirens off in my head. It seemed the smarter option was to simply avoid the situation completely.

"Breakfast will also be in the main building back there, feel free to come down anytime after 8, if you're up that early of course" the porter smirked as he looked back at us, probably presuming we'd all be hung over by the time morning came. "We close breakfast at 11, ready for lunch at 12. But if you need anything else during the day, I'm sure we can arrange that for you".

Suddenly I felt like royalty. And in the midst of it all, I heard a mutter pass Jaspers lips, something about Edward being rich. I then remembered that I was the only one Edward had told about his parents business ventures and high-social status, so it wasn't a surprise that Alice and Jasper were somewhat shocked by it all. Even I was still coming to terms with it. And as my eyes cast the picturesque surroundings, and earned an appreciation for the fact that we were incredibly close to being waited on hand and foot, the true extent of how successful the Cullen's were started to dawn on me; this entire night, the hotel, the party, everything, was all in aid of them. Wow.

I was also becoming increasingly aware of how alike everyone looked. As we passed various individuals during our retreat to our rooms, I noticed how they all looked and spoke the same way. They were all undeniably beautiful, with flawless skin and a natural glowing tan. They wore extravagantly expensive clothes, the men all wearing tailor-made suits, while a lot of the women wore dresses or skirts, and their heels could quite easily gauge your eyes out.

I'd probably stick out a mile tonight wearing my comfy flat sandals. But I didn't mind being the odd ball on a night like this, it was to be expected really, and I wasn't about to risk even an inch worth of a heel tonight, if it meant I'd spare my foot from future injuries.

"Enjoy your stay" he smiled as he opened the door to Alice and Jaspers room, handing them the key, and I called out to them that I'd be down after I'd changed.

I then followed along, my room was situated a couple of doors down, and I thanked the porter for his help before he left.

"Wow" I gushed as I stood before my king-sized bed; feeling a little overwhelmed. For a moment I took pleasure in the stillness and quietness of my own company. And without thinking I dashed for the bed, belly-flopping onto the soft white quilt and spreading myself out.

I remained in that position, face down for several minutes, before dragging my body off the bed and over towards the bathroom. 30 or so minutes later and I was dressed ready to go. The purple dress that Rose had bought me sucked in at my waist, loosening out near my thighs to show off my skin coloured tights. Lastly I stepped into my sandals, comfy flats of course, but the tiny crystals that scattered across the T-section added a little class…

Closing the door behind me I slipped the Key card into my bag, and made my way over to Alice and Jaspers room...

…

(8pm)

We hadn't long stepped inside before a waiter thrust a tall thin glass of sparkling champagne into our hands. I'd never been overly keen on champagne, but I figured it would be the most expensive drink I'd ever have the chance to taste, a once in a life time opportunity some might say, so I sipped it meaningfully, really allowing my taste buds to take in the fruity but sharp taste.

"Can you believe this place?" Alice hugged at my arm as she spoke into my ear. And I shook my head in a trance, too captivated to verbally respond.

It wasn't your average party that was for sure. Well not in the clubbing sense anyway, not that I'd been to one of course, but my knowledge of them told me this was somewhat different...

It wasn't dark like it was in town clubs, you could actually see where you were going which was nice; it meant I was at a lesser risk of tripping over something… always a bonus! There weren't any flashing lights or smoke machines, the bar area wasn't crowded with trashy drunkards, and people danced fairly respectably, there was very little bump and grind going on, but I supposed that would've been a challenge anyway, what with champagne in hand and all. The large candles dotted around the room added a warm and elegant feel. And the huge flashy crystal chandelier that hung from the centre of the ceiling sparkled at us wildly, the crystals created a trickling image across the dance floor; their version of a disco ball one assumes. From the outside it looked like a showering of raindrops, but it felt more like Tinkerbelle was scattering her magic gold dust over us as we stood beneath it.

There was music though, and as Kanye' West's 'Gold Digger' came on, I almost laughed at the irony of it; imagining it was quite appropriate, considering.

At the opposite end of the grand hall there was another open room, it was slightly smaller than the main one and less crowded.

In search of the Cullen's, I signalled to Alice and Jasper that I'd be right back, before I made my way across the floor, dodging past the dancers and those that loitered on the spot, as I headed towards the space.

There was another bar in this section, with tables that sat in rows length-ways, decorated with large round punch bowls, silver plates of food and tiny twinkling tea-lights. It was a lot quieter in here and much more airy, even though the lack of a wall separating the two rooms meant the music still blared its way from one end to the other. But it failed to have the headachy/cramped atmosphere that the other one had. This must have been the breakfast area, I thought to myself.

As my eyes scanned the room with intrigue, a disgruntled voice caught my attention. "Edward, please tell me you're not going to hide in here all night". I turned to see a not-so-looking middle aged woman stood before him, as Edward sat on one of the chairs, swivelling his empty champagne glass on the table between his fingers.

"I'm not hiding" he emphasised his words. "I'm just waiting for my friends to arrive, and I don't need you to baby sit me."

"Yes, well lets hope they get here soon, for all our sakes" she rolled her eyes, before they both simultaneously turned to face me, suddenly aware of me watching them.

His mother I presumed, a woman I already wasn't overly fond of, gave me a scrupulous look; appearing to analyze my appearance as I stood before her, for a moment she seemed surprised at my attire, that was until she laid eyes on my footwear; flats weren't exactly what you'd call star-studded, even if they were laced with tiny (plastic) crystals. Thankfully though, the reaction I got from Edward was a good enough distraction; his eyes growing bright as he offered me a beaming smile; colour visibly flushed his face, no longer did he look bland and miserable, he now looked radiant. And in that suit, I almost couldn't breathe at how handsome he looked.

"Bella, hey!" he grinned, rising from his seat and walking over to me. "I didn't realise you were here already!" his eyes raked my body; seeming to approve of my dress, thanks to Rose! "I'm glad you came".

"Did I have much of a choice" I tried to joke; a second later hoping that I hadn't come across rude.

He smiled back though, un-offended. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that", he chuckled awkwardly. "Maybe you could say no to me, but there was no way you could ever say no to Rose" he smirked. "What else could I do?" he shrugged amused.

I felt my cheeks blush, and as I noticed Esme' still standing to one side I attempted a small smile. Her lips curved a fraction as her eyes lingered on me for a moment longer, before she walked away; her head held up high. And even though I knew I should've expected much worse than that, I couldn't help but feel disheartened.

I sighed. "I don't think Esme' likes me very much" I spoke my thoughts out loud, as I watched her walk away.

"She does" his gaze then followed the path where I was looking, "she just gets really stressed over nights like this. Plus my dads not here yet, he was supposed to be here an hour ago but he's stuck in traffic…" he went on but paused half way through, "Hey, how'd you know her name anyway?"

"Huh?" I froze, deadpan.

"My mom?" he questioned, and I realised my mistake.

"Oh… I … you must have mentioned it" I smiled. And he eventually nodded back, accepting my response with ease. But while it was obvious to us both that we were happy to see each other, awkwardness quickly surfaced, thickening the atmosphere between us.

"So…" he shrugged, "can I get you a drink or something? Maybe some food?"

"Sure, that'd be great, but nothing alcoholic". There was nothing like the topic of food to relieve some of the tension.

"No probs, I'll get Alisa to make you a home-made fruit cocktail. You won't have tasted anything like it" he mused; excited. He then went onto explain that Alisa, the Italian cook, had been with their family for years, and they often had her work her magic at events like these. She was practically an Aunt to Edward and Rose having known her for so long.

"Sounds good to me" I smiled back, and after he'd informed me that he'd have to venture into the kitchens, I gave him a nod and watched him walk away.

So, he left, and I waited, choosing to stand near the wall between the two rooms, it provided the perfect spot to spy on those on the dance floor whilst still in full view of the kitchen doors… for when Edward granted me with his return.

As it turned out though, standing in that particular spot had been a big mistake, and I found myself purposefully eavesdropping on other people's conversations… but rightly so, when they included the names of people I cared about.

"Did you see that Edward Cullen?" the one girl asked, and I angled my head for better clarity.

"I know! He's so much hotter than I thought he'd be. I heard he was a geek. You know, in the piano playing, glasses wearing sense" another one responded, her eyebrows rising pompously as she spoke.

"No no, I heard he got some girl pregnant, remember the Manfields?" she spoke the name like it was a disgrace; a taboo among their people. "I'm pretty sure it was one of them," the other seemed to have all the answers.

"Euw! Isn't Anna Manfield like, 50 now?" the first girl asked.

"Nooo, not Anna. The daughter, Libby or Lizzy or something."

"Seriously?"

"Totally. I also heard he turned to the church after it happened. That's why he never attends these parties, because of his religion" she spoke matter-of-factly.

I shook my head involuntarily; repulsed by what I heard.

"Well, religious geek or not, the guy's a god. And ten bucks says, he's totally easy".

"Oh please!" the other one whined melodramatically, "as if you could get Edward Cullen" she scoffed.

"Is that a challenge, Ruby?" the previous one answered her friend with a broad and devilish smile, and I watched from the corner of my eye as she folded her arms, a smug and haughty expression turning her face; only making me despise her that much more.

My fists clenched, and I found myself torn between laughing, bursting into tears, punching one of them or just causing a blazing row. Instead I simply stormed off, moving across the room as fast as my feet would allow; in dire need of a breath of fresh air…

As I exited through the side doors and stepped into the 'garden' I took my phone out, texting Edward to let him know where I was.

I took pleasure in the quietness and time alone, closing my eyes as a cool gentle breeze graced my face.

But it wasn't for long. "Calling it a night already huh?" a voice smirked behind me, and I turned around to find Rosalie standing several feet away. She wore a warm golden brown floor-length dress, and it shimmered under the garden spot lights; it had lacing across the waist and the skirts excess material was pinned to her one hip, it hung down like a waterfall effect. Her hair was loosely pinned at the back, but flowed in long curls down her shoulder.

My eyes took in her ensemble. She could have totally passed off as royalty, which I supposed she was, amongst this crowd. "Hey" I tried to smile, and it was mostly at how beautiful she looked, before I angled myself to the side, my face dropping as I did. Smiling required far too much effort, and she quickly picked up on my lack of enthusiasm.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing" I shrugged.

"Are you kidding? You look like someone just stomped on your foot" she exclaimed amused. And a tiny smirk curved my lips.

"What is it Bella?" she went on, turning serious, and I silently shook my head as I glanced back towards the grand hall, releasing a soundly breath.

"How can you associate yourself with these people Rose?" I looked her in the eye "…They're so selfish, thoughtless, rude and manipulative… it's like they're all after one thing, to screw around with people's lives".

Her brow puckered at my statement. I must have sounded so much like Edward. "Has someone said something to you?"

"No… I just, overheard something I didn't like. It doesn't matter" I brushed it off.

"Is it Edward? Did someone say something about him?" she continued to persist. But I kept quiet.

"Look Bella, I don't even know half of these people. Truthfully, I could count my friends on one hand. I associate with these people, because that's what they are, associates. Business associates. And that's all they'll ever be" I could see in her eyes that she was trying to reassure me, and I honestly believed her when she said they weren't her friends. I'd learned that Rose was far too sweet and thoughtful to ever be like one of them.

"What were they saying anyway?"

I shrugged again. "They just mentioned the Manfield's. They got their facts wrong, that's all. I just didn't like hearing about it".

Her face scrunched at the name Manfield, but she quickly shook it off. "Yeah, well, they're gossip mongers; I've told you this before. They thrive on it, they practically have a calling in it from birth" she rolled her eyes.

I folded my arms; mimicking that of a spoilt 10 year old no doubt, but right now I didn't care. "Well I can see why Edward chooses to avoid them".

"Yes, but avoidance isn't always the best way. Bella, Edward just really needs to be able to stand in the same room as these people now, to look them in the eye and know he's so much better than they are. He needs to feel good about himself again. And if they gossip, who cares. We know the truth".

"That's easy for you to say Rose, but Edwards the one that has to deal with it".

"Edwards not the only one who has to deal with gossip Bella, believe me" she eyed me pointedly. And I sensed that since the Manfield/baby business went down, the Cullen's name was inevitably tainted now.

"Look, why don't you just go back inside and find your friends. Have some fun, let your hair down! Forget about all this Manfield crap. And you know, champagne also works wonders" she suggested with a smirk, and I smiled back, feeling a little more at ease. But a sound to my left, of heavy shoes crunching against the path's chippings caught my attention.

I turned my head to the interruption, and it was as if it was in slow motion, the world gradually rotating around me as a figure came into my awareness. But I'd already guessed who'd joined us. How careless of me to forget he would be along any minute.

"Having fun are we?" a bitter Edward exclaimed with so much hurt; his tone accusing.

And in that moment, I felt like I'd broken every rule in the friendship book. I'd gone behind his back, talking about his life, a private life he was undoubtedly ashamed of, like I had the right to. I was as bad as the gossiping girls inside. Worse actually, because I was supposed to be his friend, his best friend, and if I had been a true friend, I would have held out, not let impatience get the better of me, and waited until he'd felt comfortable to disclose all of it himself… not go running off to his sister for answers.

My heart broke at the look on his face; his eyes glistening at me through his pain and confusion. I imagined this was similar to the look he'd given Lizzy and Matt, when he'd discovered their illicit affair last year, and I felt dirty because of it.

It wasn't until he'd flicked his vision to his sister, that I even recalled Rose standing beside me. She too had let him down.

He silently shook his head at her without speaking. For so long she'd been his confident, the one person he entrusted would always be there for him. Yet she'd willingly spewed all about his past to me. No doubt she was regretting every second of it now.

As I stared at him in silence, I noticed the glass in his hand – my fruit cocktail one assumed, the one he'd gone off to have especially made.

A second later he placed the round glass filled with the peach-coloured liquid, onto the wall beside him. "Thanks Rose" he uttered her way; unappreciatively, before he solemnly walked away; head dipped down as he re-entered the door from where he came.

I felt powerless to do anything, and although every part of me ached to call him back, to my surprise the words didn't come to me.

I was simply left standing there, staring at the glass that he'd left before me.

"Oh god…" Rose put her hand to her mouth, her face grief-stricken as I turned to her, but I couldn't deal with her right now, I realised I had to find Edward. I owed him an explanation.

Leaving the drink behind I dashed into the grand hall, thankful I'd opted to wear flats tonight, as my eyes rapidly searched for him. After a moment or two, I located him amongst the crowd, but as I tried to shout for him it was no use, my voice sounded minute below the pounding of the musical beat, and alas, he continued to traipse away. I noticed for a brief time he rooted on the spot, a consequence of having someone bump right into him. As I looked harder, I recognised it was the girl from before, the one that had challenged her friend at having a chance with Edward.

She'd purposefully plonked herself in front of him; speaking words I couldn't make out, her mouth phrasing the word 'dance' I think, as she smiled at him flirtatiously. But he merely brushed right past her, leaving her stunned and red faced as he stormed off into a darker part of the room, to a point where my eyes could no longer follow.

As feared, I quickly lost him.

…

So what had turned out to be a once in a lifetime experience, turned into my worst possible nightmare. Edward wasn't talking to me, in fact having circled the building several times, I couldn't find him anywhere. Alice and Jasper were too busy dancing to even notice me, not that I wanted to bring down their night as well, and Rose, well, Rose was forced to put on a brave face, having to do her bit by mingling with the crowd, even though every time I caught her eye, she looked mournful, frightened almost, that she'd lost Edward's trust completely. I felt the same way, but as I sat to one side next to the main bar area, I realised there was nothing much I could do about it now anyway. I'd already sent him several long texts telling him I was sorry, and that I could explain, whilst pleading with him to tell me where he was, but nothing. It was hopeless.

For now, it was left up to him.

So, with Rosalie's comment from before on record repeat in my head, "you know, champagne also works wonders", she'd said, with a twinkle in her eye, it suddenly made perfect sense.

It was free-flowing, non-judgemental and had the potential to ease my aching heart. What else did I need right now? Well, aside from the obvious.

And so, grabbing a glass of the sparkling liquid within the clutches of my hand, I gulped the lot in one go…

A/N: I'm really sorry to do this, but I've been going backwards and forwards with the idea of putting this on hiatus =[ … I'm struggling to keep up with it atm, with work and with my other fic. And I don't want to just post any random rubbish in having to rush it. So if anyone's still about, it might be a couple of weeks before the next chapter is up. Really sorry! But I will finish it, don't worry :) … I also finish work mid-July for good, so will be able to focus on it properly then =]

Thanks guys! xxx

PS, the next one should be in Edwards perspective! For once! lol