Levana was going insane.
She was sure of it, by the way her head pounded at the slightest noise, by how there always seemed to be ghosts lurking behind her furniture, watching her every move. Selene's sharp wails didn't help either, keeping a good part of the palace awake.
With a groan, Levana slipped out of bed and trudged to the nursery across the hall, her bare feet slapping on the cold tile. Inside, she found the newly-appointed nanny cradling Selene in her arms, obviously distressed. Her brow shimmered with a sheen of sweat. She had a look akin to fear on her face at the sight of Levana at the door, whose expression was hard as stone.
"I'm so sorry, Your Highness, she just won't calm down…I'm trying my best, I assure you—"
Levana cut her off. "Just give her to me. You're dismissed," she said flatly.
The nanny nodded, gently handing over the screaming infant. Levana took her daughter, swaddled in a blanket, her tiny hands bunched into fists as she cried.
"Thank you, Princess." The nanny dipped into a curtsey. Then, as if she were running for dear life, she grabbed her day bag and left as quickly as she could, closing the door loudly behind her.
Levana looked over to where the nanny had just been, weary. Her eyelids felt heavy and sticky as she blinked. Selene continued to whimper, clutching Levana's auburn tangles.
"Ow! Selene," Levana cried, pulling her hair away from the baby's grasp and flipping it over her shoulder. "What is with you and the hair?"
Selene looked up at her mother, onyx eyes gleaming with tears and cheeks flushed red. Levana grumbled softly as she hobbled over to the rocking chair, slumping down with a sigh of relief. She rocked the child gently, back and forth. "What's wrong, Selene? What do you need?"
The baby flinched at the cold touch of Levana's metal hand.
Levana frowned, running her finger over the child's cheek. "You don't like my hand?" she muttered. "Don't worry—no one does."
Selene whimpered, gripping her mother's finger. Levana pulled away and threw her head back against the chair, closing her eyes. "Why won't you go to sleep..." she sighed, her stomach churning.
Just looking at the baby was a blow to Levana's sanity, reminding her every time of that night, the night when she had lost everything. It didn't help that Selene looked a great deal like her father, with her tan skin and almond-shaped eyes. If they had been the same brown as his, Levana knew that it would drive her completely mad, if she wasn't already.
The child continued to squirm in her mother's grasp, but she had stopped crying, for which Levana was grateful. Gently rubbing Selene's back, she hummed softly, staring out at the Earth through the window.
"Still awake at this hour, Your Highness?"
Levana froze at the voice, her arms tensing around the wriggling baby. She heard light footsteps approaching from behind the chair.
"Don't feel like talking to me, huh?" the voice spoke again, deep and husky, making the hair prickle on the back of her neck. "I could've sworn that you were still holed up in your room."
An icy chill froze Levana's blood, her stomach churning even more. "Wha…what do you want?" she said, her voice wavering.
A small gasp escaped her as she felt a warm hand squeeze her shoulder, gently at first, but pressing harder and harder until she winced in pain. "I have to say," the voice cooed, "that I never would've expected you to have such an appendage…a little accident, I suppose?"
Tears of shame and embarrassment pooled in her eyes. "Get out of here," she said, trembling. Her metal hand slipped under Selene's squirming body, hiding it from the man's view.
"I just came to say goodbye; I'm leaving for the night." The man spun her chair around, making her face him. "I have to admit, I've quite enjoyed the pleasure of your company over the past months."
Levana flinched under Evret's stare. "Please, just go away…" she said, tears pooling in her eyes.
Evret smirked, leaning closer to her, burying his head in the crook of her neck. Levana shivered at the feeling of his warm breath on her skin. "Come on now, aren't you going to say goodbye?"
The child in Levana's arms was the only thing keeping her from screaming her head off and clawing the smirk off his face. She started to sob as he gently kissed her cheek.
"Don't touch me, please…this makes me feel so…so dirty," she whimpered, big, wet crocodile tears dripping down her chin and spotting the fabric of her nightgown.
Evret gently ran a finger down her cheek, catching one of her tears and tasting it on his lips. "You're so sweet," he cooed, pulling away. He then tore his gaze from Levana, instead focusing on Selene, who was quickly dozing off. "She's…really cute," he said.
Levana shook her head, sniffling. "Just. Go. Away."
The guard frowned, standing tall and clasping his hands behind his back. "How heartless you are," he said, his voice low and threatening, making fear settle in her stomach. "Refusing a smitten man, and then treating him like this?" He clucked his tongue.
"You're a creep," Levana spat, holding Selene to her breast, feeling oddly protective.
"But alas," Evret continued, "I'm afraid that I must go home. My shift as your personal guard is over. It's a shame, really."
"Get out," Levana said again, for what had to be the tenth time.
Evret clucked his tongue, gliding across the room like a snake. "If you want to be difficult, then fine." He stopped at the door, gripping the glittering metal frame. "Farewell, Your Highness. Take good care of my daughter."
"She's not your daughter," Levana sneered, baring her teeth, "she's mine."
The guard raised an eyebrow. "Really? Because I distinctly remember you insisting that the thing didn't have anything to do with you." He grinned at her dumbstruck reaction. "You should really pay attention to what you say."
With that, he gently closed the door, leaving no evidence of his presence behind other than the feeling of disgust and shame that plagued Levana's mind, making her neck and cheeks burn where his lips had touched her.
Selene let out a whimper as she fell back once again, landing on her rear. The infant had spent the last fifteen minutes trying to stand and move forward on her own—trying to take her first steps.
Levana watched with slight amusement from where she sat on the floor, fiddling with an old video game console from the second era. She had managed to get her tools back; after two years, Channary had loosened up and allowed her more freedom, confident that she wouldn't resort to suicide again. The ancient device in her hand had two glass screens that had yet to turn on, with buttons arranged carefully around them. Beside her sat a bucket full of cords and wires, and she compared adaptor upon adaptor, trying to find a match.
Selene began to fuss, clutching a cloth doll in her fists. She bunched its face, her lip quivering.
"What's wrong, Selene?" Levana asked.
The one-year-old threw the doll on the floor, waving her arms in frustration.
Her mother put down the console, scooting closer. "Do you need help?"
Selene crossed her tiny arms over her chest, pouting. "Na," she mumbled.
"Here," Levana said, holding out a gloved hand. "Let mommy help you." She gently took both of Selene's hands in her own, lifting the child up until she stood. Selene cooed, looking down at her feet; they soon began moving as Levana guided her across the floor. "There you go!"
Selene giggled, her cheeks flushed red from teething. Levana had begun to wean her off breastmilk after the first accidental bite. The child was smiling for the first time in a while, refreshing after the weeks of constant wailing and tantrums.
"Okay, Selene…I'm letting you go now…" Levana said, releasing the one-year-old's hands. As soon as she did, Selene froze and began to whimper, rooted to the spot.
"Come on, you can do it," Levana encouraged her, kneeling down on the floor.
Selene wouldn't relent, but neither would Levana. The child began to cry, bunching her small hands into fists. Her mother stayed by, watching. "You'll never walk if I just hold your hand all the time," Levana said. "Go ahead, you'll be fine. I'll catch you if you fall."
Selene sniffed, making a face.
"Just take a step," Levana insisted, a persistent warmth in her voice.
Finally, after many whimpers from Selene, said child stepped forward, staring intently at her shiny black slipper. One step after another, until she walked into Levana's arms, a big smile on her face.
"There you go!" Levana exclaimed, holding Selene in a tender hug. "You did it!"
Selene laughed, wrapping her arms around Levana's slender neck, climbing onto her mother's lap. Levana kissed the crown of her head, stroking back her fine brown hair. A warm feeling made itself known deep in her chest; a sense of peace, if you will. It was an entirely foreign concept to Levana.
"Mama…" Selene mumbled, looking up at her mother's face, her eyes big. "I wuv you."
Levana put a hand to her mouth just as the tears came, sobs threatening to overpower her. She held Selene to her chest, love for the child, her child, pouring out of her in the form of wet droplets running down her cheeks. "I love you too, Selene," she hiccupped, "I love you so much…"
She looked down at Selene's face through the blur of tears, and for the first time, she didn't feel queasy, sick. She felt the warmth of motherhood.
The warmth of love.