Dlbn here with chapter three! Sorry for the long wait!
Xemnas shifted in his spot on the couch the next morning. First these guys wanted to use a phone, and now they wanted to video tape his Organization? What was their deal?!
The brown haired boy who had deemed himself to be Sora wore a headset and held a tape recorder in his hand. The other boy, Riku, was setting a camera on a tripod, much to the delight of Roxas. For once, the brunette wasn't attached to Axel. He watched Riku set up the camera as if fascinated.
"Roxas, go sit down." Sora ordered, shoving him lightly.
"Aw, come on, Sora." Roxas rolled his eyes. "I like technology, you know that."
Sora rolled his eyes. "Whatever, cousin."
Xemnas blinked. No wonder the two of them seemed so close…
"Why are we doing this?" Larxene wondered, playing with her knives.
"Your little group here is very fascinating." Dr. Phil informed, standing next to Kairi with his arms folded. "We were hoping to make a documentary."
"You mean diagnose us." Axel sneered, folding his arms and sliding into his seat. "I know who you are, and we don't need that kind of help."
"You might." Zexion sneered. "There's got to be some reason you're obsessed with fire."
"I am not obsessed." Axel slid his hand into his pocket.
Zexion rolled his eyes. Demyx began playing on his sitar again. "Come on, you two, cut it out." He rolled his eyes. "I'm a Hydro and I don't fight with the Pyro as much."
"Zip it." Axel ordered.
Dr. Phil wrote something in a spiral notebook. Kairi and Robin watched over his shoulder.
"That's terrible, honey." Robin scolded.
"It's just what I'm observing." Dr. Phil smiled at her.
"Are you ready over there, Riku?" Kairi looked to the silver haired boy. "This might get real ugly real soon."
"I'm almost done." Riku stated. "This is a very delicate process, if I'm gonna get the right resolution."
Kairi sighed and sat on the ground. A cockroach sped over her foot. She squealed and stood up. "This place is filthy!" She complained. "Don't you guys clean it?!"
"Dirt!" Xaldin cried, running into the kitchen.
Xemnas held his hand in his hand. "You just had to set him off, didn't you." He muttered.
"What's his problem?" Kairi wondered.
"Hypochondriac." Xigbar told her. "It's a big annoying at times, believe you me."
"Believe you me?"
"Uh…he runs the pirate ship ride at the Amusement Park That Never Was." Xemnas tried to explain. "And sometimes he brings his lingo and his accent home with him." He scratched the back of his neck.
"Sometimes?" Saïx wondered, playing with a strand of his long blue hair. "He's always like this. I think the pirate stuff came before he got the job."
"He's right." Marluxia agreed, folding his legs. He put his hands, one on top of each other, on his knees. "Xigbar's been like this as long as I've known him." He snapped his wrist in a wave.
Riku and Sora shared a look.
"He's worse then you two are." Kairi informed.
"Shut it, Kairi." Riku ordered. "Done and ready to roll."
"Alright." Dr. Phil smiled. "Maybe we can start with some introductions?"
"Sound off." Xemnas ordered. "Xemnas."
"Xigbar." A pirate accent continued.
"Xaldin." Xaldin ran into the kitchen.
"Vexen." His words were slurred.
"Lexaeus." A pause. "Pretty colors."
"Zexion." It was hardly inaudible.
"Saïx." Somewhat annoyed tone to it.
"Axel." A flare of fire came from a lighter.
"Demyx" A chord.
"Luxord." A growl.
"Marluxia!" A girly cry.
"Larxene." A bored sneer.
"Roxas!" A peppy tone.
"Go, Doctor Phil." Sora cried, pointing foreword and holding his headset with the other hand.
Dr. Phil stepped in front of the camera when Riku motioned to him. "I'm Dr. Phil." He greeted the camera. "Over the years, we've had a lot of interesting guests on the show. Well today, we're going to take a look into the lives of a group of thirteen men…"
"Twelve!" Larxene cried. "I'm a girl!"
"Twelve men and one…"
"Eleven!" Marluxia cried.
"Twelve men and one woman, who have opened our home to them, on this special edition of 'The Doctor Phil House'." Dr. Phil ignored Marluxia.
Cheesy upbeat music played from the cassette player Sora held. He shut it off when Kairi nudged him with her elbow. Dr. Phil adjusted his tie and cleared his throat, embarrassed.
"This extraordinary group of people is a collage of personalities and backgrounds, but they are all here with one goal in mind: To get the help they need to become functioning members of society."
Xemnas cleared his throat. "We are functioning members of society." He corrected the Doctor. "And you didn't plan this. Your van broke down outside our home and you found us easy to exploit!"
"Uh…we'll get rid of that in editing." Riku promised. "Kairi, make a note of it. Damn…I'm still recording!"
Sora chuckled and nudged Riku in the arm.
"Ever since my crew and I had the pleasure of meeting these people, it has been nothing but a mine field of dysfunction, which somehow seems to be functional enough for them." Dr. Phil went on as though what had happened was common. "The first thing we needed to do with our guests was to identify each of their predicaments."
"Predicaments?" Roxas repeated, snuggling against Axel.
"Some were obvious right off of the bat." Dr. Phil looked to Axel, who was playing with a lighter, flicking it open and shut in a rhythm.
The camera followed his view. Dr. Phil looked to Marluxia, fixing his hair in the pink mirror again and making kissy faces at it this time. Then he looked to Xigbar, who was attempting to screw a fake hook hand on his left hand. Xaldin ran in from the kitchen, looked at his hand, and then ran back in. Vexen's eyes rolled and Luxord dialed a new number on his cell phone, appearing to be muttering to himself.
Xemnas rolled his eyes. "I do not appreciate the notion that we have something wrong with us." He told Dr. Phil. "We're perfectly normal."
"One of us is obsessed with fire, one's afraid of germs, one's clingy, one's a drunk, one's a junkie, one is convinced he is a pirate, one thinks he's a woman, and one's on his freaking bluetooth twenty-four seven." Larxene sneered.
"And one's a total bitch." Axel added.
"There is nothing normal about us." Larxene hissed through clenched teeth. "But there's nothing wrong either. This is just the way we are, and get that damn camera out of my face, or I'll break it."
Riku swiveled the camera to Dr. Phil, who was adjusting his tie again and shifting uncomfortably.
"Others were not so easy to distinguish." Dr. Phil went on, trying to seem calm and collected. "So we will start with a little word association." He looked towards the Organization. "Who wants to go first?"
No one answered him.
"Please, everyone!" Dr. Phil begged. "If we are ever to get on the road to recovery, we need to do these exercises. This is a changing day in your life! Who wants to start the healing first?"
No response again.
"Fine." Dr. Phil sighed. "You are an Organization, correct?"
"Organization XIII, yes." Xemnas told him. "What's your point?"
"An organization is like a car." Dr. Phil started off. "It only moves if all the parts are in proper working order. Do you want to be a rusty gear? Or a locked break?"
"We aren't cars, jackass, we're people." Larxene sneered. "This has no effect on us. We have no hearts."
"Alright, I'm assuming each of you have a number in this Organization, one through thirteen if I'm right?"
Everyone looked at one another, but they didn't say anything. This was not going well.
"I'll take your silence as a 'yes'." Dr. Phil ran a hand over his almost completely hairless head. "So I'll pick a number, at random, between one and thirteen. Whoever's number I pick, they'll go."
"It's like dealing with children." Riku whispered to Robin.
She nodded. "I agree." She answered.
"Six." Dr. Phil called a number.
Zexion pulled his hood over his eyes. "Kill me now." He muttered.
"You can do it yourself." Saïx muttered back. "Or at least you will, if you cut wrong."
"I take it that number six is you, young man?" Dr. Phil looked to Zexion.
"Mph." Zexion grunted.
"So why don't you take that hood off and we'll get started?"
Zexion mumbled to himself and pushed the hood back, his blackish yet periwinkle hair falling into his eyes. "Fine." He snorted.
"I'll say a word and you say the first one that comes to mind, alright?"
Zexion blinked, hoping his hair was hiding his flush.
"Ice cream."
"Work."
"Cold."
"Knife."
"Warm."
"Blood."
"Cut?"
"Relief."
Dr. Phil blinked. "Do you have a knife on you?"
"Yeah." Zexion shook his hair from his eyes and gave Dr. Phil an icy glare.
"Uh…do you two mind?" Robin wondered.
The camera panned over to Axel and Roxas, who were too busy swapping spit to notice.
"Axel, Roxas!" Xemnas hissed, nudging Axel's foot with his own.
They separated. "What?" Axel wondered.
Xemnas pointed to the camera. They looked. Roxas' eyes were wide as dinner plates.
"Don't like, don't look." Axel sneered. He stood and pulled Roxas out of the room with him.
"May I see your knife?" Dr. Phil wondered, trying to draw attention back to himself and Zexion.
"Uh…" Zexion pulled it out and flicked it open. He ran his tongue along the side of the blade and held it towards Dr. Phil. "I doubt you'd want it now."
Dr. Phil took it. "Son, if germs bothered me, I would be running to the bathroom every five seconds to wash my hands, like your friend over there."
Riku panned the camera to catch the tail of Xaldin's Organization coat going into the kitchen.
"That's a kitchen, smart-ass." Larxene sneered.
"That works, little lady." Dr. Phil looked over the knife, turning it in his hands. "I spot blood." He stated. "May I see your wrists?"
Zexion pulled his gloves further into his jacket. "No."
"Do you cut, son?" Dr. Phil wondered.
"Uh…"
"You don't have to answer, Zexy." Demyx played a tune on his sitar, fingers running over the fret. "It's not his business. We're no test subjects."
Sora watched Demyx play, fascinated. "That is so cool!" He commented.
"Sora, we're still taping." Riku muttered.
Kairi snickered.
"Shut up, then, both of you. Go get it on in a bedroom or something." She ordered. "I'll man the camera."
"Don't you mean woman the camera?" Sora wondered, trying to be funny.
"…No."
"Is there any particular reason?" Dr. Phil looked at Zexion. "A traumatic experience, perhaps? Not feeling appreciated?"
"Oh, I make him feel appreciated every night." Demyx chuckled, raising and lowering his eyebrows. He pulled Zexion close by the waist. "Right, Zexy?"
Zexion slapped his cheek and pulled back. "Stop it." He ordered.
"How old are you, Zexion?" Dr. Phil wondered.
"…16…"
"16, huh? Is it safe to assume that you are the youngest of the group?"
"Second youngest. What of it?"
"A bit of teenage angst involved here, perhaps?"
"Look, you, I don't need you to diagnose my problems. I just like the cold blade against my skin. Alright?"
Dr. Phil blinked. "Moving on here. How about I pick another number…"
"How about we call you a mechanic and you get the hell out of here?" Larxene offered with a sneer. "Luxord, give me your phone."
"You're not touching my I-phone." Luxord snarled. "I need it for work."
"I'll pick another number." Dr. Phil offered. "How about four?"
Vexen blinked and raised his hand enthusiastically. "I'm number four!" He informed.
"Great." Dr. Phil smiled. "At least there is someone here who wants healing. You understand how a word association works, don't you?" Dr. Phil wrote something in his notebook.
"Uh huh!" Vexen nodded enthusiastically. "I do!"
"Let's begin. Summer."
"Beer."
"Swimming."
"Beer."
"Night."
"Beer."
"Bar."
"Beer."
"Beer?"
"Beer."
Dr. Phil scratched the top of his head. "I think I've got this one down. You drink a lot, don't you?"
Vexen gasped dramatically. "How did you know?!"
"You're acting drunk now." A voice offered.
Everyone looked at one another. Who was that?
"You all know it's true." The man said again.
Lexaeus looked at Xigbar. "Is that you?" He wondered.
"Who else would it be?"
"You…you don't have your accent!" Xemnas exclaimed. "It's a miracle!"
"What are you talking about, govner?" The accent returned.
"Never mind…" Xemnas sighed, unhappy again.
"Why do you drink, Mr…uh…" Dr. Phil wondered.
"That's Vexen." Xemnas told Dr. Phil.
"Vexen." Dr. Phil repeated. "Is there any particular reason why you drink? Other then the taste of beer?"
"Whenever he's depressed, he goes out and don't come back until late at night." Demyx informed.
"How do you know that?" Xemnas leaned foreword to get a better look at the Hydro.
"We're up late." Demyx nodded his head at Zexion before going back to his sitar.
Zexion flushed. "Not for the reason you think." He spoke quickly.
"Vexen? Do you drink when you're depressed?"
Vexen sniffled. "Yes." He answered.
"Are you aware that the answer to life's problems is not in the bottom of the bottle?" Dr. Phil wondered.
Vexen sniffled and rubbed his eyes with his arm. "No." He answered.
"Well, maybe we found our problem." Dr. Phil wrote something in his notebook again. "I think that's enough word association for today. We'll do some more tomorrow during a few one-on-one sessions."
"Does this mean we can go?" Xemnas wondered.
The Organization stood as one.
"No, we're not done." Dr. Phil answered.
Grumbling, they all sat again. "We still have some exercises to go." Dr. Phil told them.
"Do we have to?" Demyx wondered. "We want to go out and do stuff."
"Stuff?" Dr. Phil wondered. "What kind of stuff?"
"Stuff that doesn't involve assuming we're nutcases!" Larxene growled.
"Yeah. We have things to do. Normal things." Lexaeus commented.
"Well…I suppose a ten minute break wouldn't be a problem." Dr. Phil scratched his neck. "But…"
Before he could say anything more, the others fled. Silence filled the room. It was Riku who broke it.
"And cut."