"Can I be honest to you about something?"

"go for it, kiddo."

You smiled, leaning into Sans's side as his arm wrapped around your shoulders. It smelt like his cologne, more prominent than the night of Papyrus's cooking lesson.

"I'm not really hungry," you shrugged.

Sans chuckled softly, "you aren't? not even for some ketchup?"

You shook your head.

"did you eat before i came?" Sans teased, "hungry for some bones?"

Your face heated up immediately and you buried your face into Sans's signature jacket. It was warm and fuzzy. It kind of reminded you of snuggling up in a blanket after it had just came out of the dryer. Except it smelt ten times better.

Giggling into Sans's jacket, you said something that you were almost completely sure the skeleton wouldn't understand.

He made a noise of confusion and you started laughing all over again.

You lifted your head up and smiled brightly, "You're such a dork, Sansy..."

Sans laughed again, his whole face turning into something quite amazing - it was like when people with dimples smiled or giggled, except it was Sans's. Naturally, it was ten times better.

"you're a nerd," Sans retorted jokingly, "a real bookworm."

You scoffed, "A bookworm? Not even a pun for that one?"

Sans shook his head and his smiled even wider, "nah, didn't have the funny bone for it."

You shook your head and snorted, "What am I going to do with you?"

"kiss me again?" Sans said bluntly, his face with a hint of blue to it.

"Oh my gosh, Sans," you laughed, "I honestly don't know what to say."

"you don't have to say anything," Sans squeezed your shoulders, "just sit here and let me enjoy how warm you are."

"the talking is just an added bonus. your voice is pretty cute, y'know?"

" Sansy. "

Sans and you sat there for a moment before he spoke up again, "do you wanna go grab something to eat, even if you aren't hungry? at least get out of your apartment?"

You smiled softly, "If you want to, then I'm okay with anything."

Sans snorted and ruffled your hair teasingly, "i get to show off that i'm with a cute human."

The blood went rushing to your face, "Sans, I-"

The skeleton stopped you for a second, holding his free hand up in the air. He pondered what he was about to say before speaking up again.

"now, look, _," Sans said hesitantly, "i-... um, shit, i don't know how to put this."

Your heart stopped.

"do you, like, maybe..."

"do you wanna go out?"

"Sansy?"

"i mean, it's okay if you say no and stuff. i get that it might not be the best time for it or anything, but... i really like you, kiddo, but it's alright if you said no."

"undyne kinda told me you were shit at refusing things."

You took a second to think about it.

You really, really liked Sans. Never feeling like this before, you didn't want to give it up. Every molecule screamed in your body to say "Yes, yes!" but... It didn't seem right.

Although you hadn't really been in any sort of situation like this, and you even found yourself a bit touch-starved, saying yes to Sans would be... Unfair to him, in a way.

You weren't in any emotional capability to say yes to any sort of relationship romantic wise. The feelings you felt often... Weren't normal, at least weren't normal enough to be considered healthy.

If you truly wanted to make any relationship with Sans work, wouldn't it be better off in the long run if you tried to make yourself better? To work on yourself and the problems you clearly had?

Sans started to sweat, scared by your lack of answer.

You took a deep breath and sighed, "Sans, I really like you too, it's just..."

"I'm not okay, you know?" Oh god, were you going to have this talk now ? Way to go you, for screwing up the mood, "I don't think I have been for a long time."

Sans looked at you, squeezing your shoulder in a comforting manner.

"I don't feel confident about myself, I feel anxious all the time, sometimes I have these really days where all I want to do is just," Stop talking, fucking stop talking! "die."

Sans's eyesockets went wide and he opened his mouth to say something.

"I wouldn't ever do that to you or Undyne or Papyrus, or even my dad," you quickly reassured him, "It's just that... I don't think it'd be fair to you to go in a relationship where I'm obviously not healthy."

"If I'm not healthy enough to even take care of myself, I wouldn't be in a healthy relationship with anyone - whether if it was with your or not."

"I really like you, Sansy, more than I've ever liked anything in my entire life," you laughed awkwardly, "I just... If you still like me when I'm normal , when I'm okay with myself, then I'd absolutely love to go out with you," You took a deep breath.

Sans didn't say anything for a moment, so your anxiety filled up your mouth, "I'm so sorry, I really just want to be in an okay place so I can really not worry you or even myself. I punched a mirror just the other day because I'm really stupid, you know?"

"you punched a mirror?" Sans inquired, looking scared.

You held up your bandaged hand shyly.

"why?"

"I don't know, that's the problem!" You hadn't talked about this with anyone before, really, even Undyne when she asked about it, "My brain is so messed up, and I can't really do anything about it sometimes. That's why I want to be okay, because I don't want to worry you with my stupid shit like this."

"you'll always worry me, whether we're dating or not," Sans shook his head, "you're my best friend, okay? it doesn't matter, we can... we can always go out sometime when you really want to, when you feel like it's okay."

"let's just worry about you, okay? i don't... i can't fucking think about you dying, okay? i just can't," Sans sounded so upset, so broken, "even if you said you'd hate me and never wanted to talk to me again - if you... if you, i can't even say it. just please, please tell me if you ever feel like that, or talk to someone."

"Sans," Your voice sounded broken, as it cracked when you spoke, "I won't, I promise."

Sans took a sharp inhale, "good, okay good. i... look, kiddo, i would wait a million years for you. i almost did, anyways." He chuckled, "and i'd wait a million more, just to know that we're okay - that you're okay. just promise we can still be friends, okay?"

You nodded, "I promise. I promise so much, Sans, I can't tell you how much this means to me. Thank you, I'm so sorry that I can't say yes right now."

"i understand," Sans nodded with you, "don't be sorry."

"Thank you so much," you felt tears of relief fill up your eyes, "I haven't had anyone say that to me before..."

Sans's hand went to rub your back as he embraced you warmly. Only a few tears actually came out, but the comfort of Sans was so wonderful that you didn't want to leave.

You laughed softly, "Can I still hug you?"

"even if i didn't like you," Sans chuckled, "you could always hug me. you give good hugs, kiddo."

"Can we still hang out?"

"'course we can, _."

"Can we still text?"

"you're being dorky. we can do everything that we did before, you know that?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know anything about dating or anything like that."

"neither do i, guess we'll find out together one day."

"I'm still sorry that I can't - I really, really want to, Sansy."

"it's okay, don't be sorry. have you seen a counselor before?"

"Maybe I should start going to one..."

"you're so important, just make sure you know that, okay?"

You nodded as Sans let go of you.

His face turned a hint of blue as he shifted eye contact, "guess that means no kissing, huh?"

You laughed softly, "I don't know, I really don't know how any of this works."

Sans chuckled, "neither do i?"

"We're such losers," You smiled softly.

"say that for yourself," the skeleton teased, "i'm pretty awesome."

"Awesomely dorky, right?"

"meh," Sans shrugged.

You laughed again, "Thank you for being so understanding."

"i know what you're going through, kiddo," Sans said quietly, "and i'll be here with you for every step of the way."