Dlbn: Holy shit has it been a while! My God, I should have updated this sooner! Anyway, here everyone goes. The next chapter of A Very Disorganized Organization Vacation!
Disclaimer: I own the plot and the beach house. That's it…
Dr. Phil paced around the basement. His crew stood around the basement, patiently waiting for him to speak. Sora was looking over some papers on a clipboard and Kairi was quietly chatting with Mrs. McGraw. Riku yawned and arched his back.
"Nothing I do seems to get through to these people." Dr. Phil said. "They just might be my hardest case yet. I don't think I can fix these people."
"Don't you dare say that, Phil!" Kairi scowled. "Not after all we've worked for!"
"You stopped Vexen from drinking too much and you seem to be getting through to Marluxia." Sora said, reading a progress chart from the clipboard. "That Confession had me in tears." He chuckled. "Well, at least the tape that I didn't mean to show them had me in tears." He winked at Riku.
"Shut up, Sora." Riku muttered.
"You two are pathetic." Kairi accused them.
"Are you sure there's nothing you can do, honey?" Mrs. McGraw wondered. "There has to be some technique you could use."
"I'm at my wits' end, Robin." Dr. Phil shook his head. "I think these people might just be in-helpable."
Kairi walked over and smacked him across the face. "Snap out of it, Phil! You've tackled tougher cases than these losers!"
Dr Phil rubbed his cheek. "You know what, Kairi? You're right! I have helped out tougher cases than this!" He agreed. "I'm the one who got Sora and Riku to admit their love for one another."
"Yeah, and I'm sure we all thank you for that." Kairi rolled her eyes. "So pull yourself out of this slump and get to work up there! You're not a world famous psychiatrist for nothing!"
Dr. Phil nodded. "You're right!" He agreed again. "Oh, I just got another idea! This is going to be amazing!" He ran up the stairs.
Mrs. McGraw sighed. "I'd better make sure he doesn't go and hurt himself." She said, following.
Riku and Sora looked at Kairi.
"I never knew you could be such a great motivational speaker." Sora said. "Maybe you can convince Riku into doing a few things for me…"
"You mean to you." Riku snapped. "Forget it!" He walked off towards the stairs.
"Wait, Riku!" Sora called after him. "I don't know why you're so afraid of intimacy!" He walked after him.
"I'm not doing it!" Riku bolted up the stairs.
"Wait! Come back here and talk about your feelings!" Sora chased after him.
Kairi slapped her forehead and sighed. Why did she put up with this?
Upstairs, Xaldin was washing his hands in the kitchen sink with antibacterial soap. Axel and Roxas entered the kitchen.
"Xaldin?" Roxas wondered.
"Heyya, big guy." Axel greeted slowly. "How you doing, huh?"
They walked over.
"Germs." Xaldin muttered. "Germs, germs, hideous germs!" He flung water at the two of them before pouring enough soap for four people into his hand and washing up under the hot water again. Steam came out from the water in waves. Axel brushed a hand in front of his face to get rid of it.
"Xaldin, your hands are raw!" Roxas commented. "Doesn't that hurt you?"
Xaldin shook his head, black dreadlocks dancing. "It's never enough." Xaldin said. "The germs keep coming back…they're crawling up my arms!"
Axel and Roxas shared a look before slowly backing up out of the kitchen together.
"That was weird." Roxas said.
"Are we sure Lexaeus is the one on the drugs and not him?" Axel wondered. "Sheesh! Talk about hallucinating!"
"He needs help." Roxas muttered. "I don't think even Dr. Phil can help him."
"I don't think Dr. Phil can help anyone in here." Axel said, creating a flame and letting it dance in the palm of his hand.
"I give him my condolences on working with you." Roxas said. "You'll probably try to set him on fire."
"I tried to do that last night, but the wife woke up before I could."
Roxas laughed and shook his head. "Only you, Axel."
"Of course." Axel pulled him closer by the waist and Roxas hugged him. He nuzzled into Roxas' hair. "I love you." Axel muttered against the boy's light blonde hair.
"I love you, too." Roxas looked up and stole a kiss.
Axel smiled into it and pulled Roxas even closer. They split and Axel shot Roxas a seductive smile. "The bedroom?" He whispered.
Shivers danced up Roxas' spine and died. "You're so straight foreword." He said, hugging Axel tight. "Axel, don't ever leave me, okay?"
"Huh?" Axel wondered. "Did someone tell you I was planning to?"
"Are you?" Fear danced in Roxas' bright blue eyes and, if he had real emotions, Axel would have found himself crying.
"Of course not." Axel shook his head. "Why would you even ask such a crazy question?"
The 'emotions' in Roxas' eyes died down quickly. "I don't know." He responded. "I love you." He waved his hand behind him and a dark portal opened. "Bedroom?"
Axel grasped Roxas' hand and pulled him into the portal.
Marluxia fixed his hair in his mirror as Larxene sat on her bed and sharpened her knives. "Are you mad at me Larxe?" Marluxia wondered.
Larxene looked at him, snarled, and went back to paying attention to her knives.
"I just wanted to try it on. I wasn't going to rip it or ruin it or anything." He looked at her.
She didn't say anything.
"Do you believe me?"
"Why?" Larxene wondered.
"Why what?"
"Why did you put on my dress and my heels and parade your ass around here like you belonged in them?" She sneered. "No one had to see that and, because of you, they probably all think I'm secretly this sweet bring-her-home-to-meet-your-parents girl. And I'm not."
"I don't think anyone thinks that." Marluxia shook his head. "You're the hardest hard-ass around here. We all know you're not girly."
She didn't quite believe him about that. "Whatever."
"They all agree that I'm the girliest person here. And I'm not a girl."
"Do you wish you were?" She looked at him. "Is that why you dress like one?"
"No." Marluxia shook his head. "You want to know what I think?"
"No, but I know you're going to tell me."
"I think my Other's parents found out he was going to be a girl but they wanted a boy." Marluxia informed. "And then they gave Lumaria like, hormones or something to make her be a boy. And then the girl genetics passed onto me. What do you think?"
"I think you're an idiot."
"Aw, I love you to, Larxe!"
"Don't you know when you're being insulted?" She sneered.
"Not really." Marluxia responded with a wave of his hand.
Larxene rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
Marluxia happily went back to brushing his hair in his mirror, humming a small jolly tune.
A knock came on the door. The silver-haired camera boy stood there, smiling sheepishly. "Would one of you like to come and tape a confessional?" He wondered.
"I'd love to!" Marluxia said, turning to him. "Come on, Larxe. You can do one after me. It's fun!"
"Fun?" She snorted. "What's fun about confessing false emotions to a camera, so a whack-job psychologist can analyze it and diagnose mental illnesses that don't actually exist, just to keep up his ratings?"
Marluxia blinked. "It's like playing make-believe!" Marluxia grabbed her wrist and pulled her out the door. "Lead the way!" He ordered.
The camera boy nodded and led them down the hallway.
"This is stupid." Larxene complained to the camera. "I don't get why we have to do this. Let me out!"
"Not until you talk to the camera!" Marluxia objected from outside the room.
"I swear, he's working with these idiots." Larxene sneered. "I mean, he does things purposefully to get everyone else mad and act irrational, so the Doc always has something to talk about. And he willingly does these confession things?"
"Talk about something other than me!" Marluxia ordered.
"Fine. How about we talk about that fiasco with my dress and heels?" Larxene sneered. "Someone gave me that thing as a sick joke for one of the holidays Xemnas forced us to celebrate. I didn't pick it out, but now everyone knows about it!" she went on. "Sure, I was upset that he was showing everyone, but I don't really care about it! The heels are mine, though. I bought them for Halloween when Xemnas made us celebrate it three years ago. Ugh, Trick or Treating in Twilight Town was horrid! None of us wanted to be there, and we looked like morons among all the little kids. We're adults, for Kingdom Hearts' sake! And not to mention Xaldin running around like a madman, asking everyone he passed if they had hand sanitizer on them. I've never been so humiliated in my life." She hit the record button on the camera to shut it off. "Done. It's recorded. Now let me out, Marluxia!" She ordered, stalking to the door. She pushed it open to see a surprised Marluxia standing behind it.
"See, Larxe? Don't you feel all better now that you got some of that off of your chest?"
"I don't feel. We're Nobodies. Nobodies don't feel."
"You feel angry."
"I'm not angry, I'm annoyed." She stalked off back towards hers and Marluxia's room.
"Annoyed is an emotion, too!" Marluxia answered, chasing after her.