FivebyFive89 – Intensity all around…I think I'd choose mundane any day!

Guest – Thanks!

jaiden83 – She'll certainly get 'the look' over it (technically she already has…depending on if you've read the future fics or not!)

Tara took a slow sip of her wine as her toes curled and uncurled under her pantyhose.

She was using her evening to relax with a book and her feet up, and enjoying it immensely after a long day.

They'd had a nice dinner of chicken and rice, which they had cooked together as Willow was still getting the hang of the balance of flavours. She'd lost some confidence after her first attempt at pasta sauce, though subsequent attempts had been perfectly palatable.

They'd retreated to different couches to stretch out and Willow had been playing on her laptop. She'd been developing an ever-drooping frown until she suddenly dropped the lid with less care than she normally afforded to one of her most prized possessions.

Tara was startled for a moment, then looked over. She knew something was up by the look on Willow's face. She dog-eared her book and left it in her lap.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

Willow couldn't meet Tara's eyes.

"I can't pay our cell phone bill."

"What are you talking about, I got paid yesterday," Tara replied in confusion, "There's money in my account. Just take my card."

Willow's teeth gritted.

"I mean, I can't pay it."

"Yes you can, because we have enough money," Tara said back insistently.

Willow was still starring at her lap.

"I've always paid it," she said quietly.

"And now we'll pay it together," Tara replied softly, "And you don't have to come to me if you need to pay for something. You don't need my permission."

"Well, yeah, I kinda need you to give me the money," Willow snapped and kicked the leg of the coffee table before muttering, "In return for my dignity."

Tara's eyes creased at Willow's woe.

"Will…"

Willow slid her laptop off her lap and brought her knees up under her chin.

"I'm sorry. I just hate that I can't buy us anything, or even myself a new pair of underwear or…just know I have a few bucks if something pops up. I kept seeing my balance get smaller and smaller and thought by magic it was going to go up again."

Tara nodded sympathetically. She could understand why Willow was finding her newfound financial situation so difficult. From Tara's perspective, she had more money than she'd ever had, but she knew it was hard on Willow with her account practically empty. That had never been her 'normal' and she'd been managing her own finances since she was a preteen.

Tara couldn't fix it all right then, but she did have an idea that would at least be a step towards easing her girlfriend's sour feelings. And until she could organise it, there was always a hug available on demand.

So that's exactly what she went over to give. She embraced Willow and stroked her hair.

"Everything I have is yours. And I would hope the least important thing is my money."

"Of course it is," Willow replied, automatically and genuinely, leaning in to Tara's touch.

She could accept that Tara would share what she had, because Willow would do the same, but she still felt guilty that Tara was paying for absolutely everything. In her mind, it was entirely different than her being the main 'provider' when they were in college, seeing as Tara was paying for such basic necessities like food and shelter.

It made it bearable to know that she herself would be happy to keep Tara in house and home. She would have to push past her insecurities to once again force herself to recognise Tara loved her as much as she loved Tara. She truly hoped one day that would be something she wouldn't have to think about.

"Same for me," Tara replied, tickling the corner of Willow's mouth to produce a smile, "Bottom of the list."

The tickling worked and a smile pulled at Willow's lips.

"What's the top?"

"Oh, definitely your ass," Tara replied with a crooked grin.

Willow let out a deep belly laugh and some tension floated away. Tara smiled and put an arm around Willow.

"Let's watch some TV."

Willow curled her legs off to the side and cuddled into Tara's side.

"I love you."

Tara turned her head in and kissed Willow softly.

"I love you too."

A kiss from Tara was only a band-aid over Willow's torn pride, but a band-aid would at least last for the evening.

Tara came through the door from work, cheerily smiling.

"Hello my love."

"Hi," Willow replied, standing up from the couch to welcome Tara with a cheek kiss, "How was your day?"

"Good, good," Tara replied easily, then took out a large brown envelope and small boutique paper bag out from behind her back, "I have two presents for you."

She thrust the bag out first and Willow took it curiously. She peered in and took out a pair of black and red lace panties, hanging on one finger. Her face was perplexed.

"Panties?"

"A new pair of underwear," Tara corrected precisely, "And…"

She handed off the envelope and sat down with Willow. Willow turned over the envelope and lifted the flap, then slid out the papers. It had a bank letterhead.

"What's this?"

"It's an application form for our joint bank account," Tara explained, pointing out where it said so on the front page.

"Our joint bank account?" Willow asked, an eyebrow lifting.

"Yes, because you shouldn't have to come to me every time you need or want something. It's needless and a pain, really," Tara replied with a one shoulder shrug, "I trust you and you trust me, so this is the best solution."

Willow suddenly understood the panties, and had to smile, but it turned self-deprecating quickly.

"If I didn't feel like a mooch before…"

Tara sighed. She would push that attitude out if it was the last thing she did.

"When we get married, would you be against us having this?"

Willow thought for a moment, then shook her head.

"No, I guess not, that's pretty normal."

"Well, we're going to be married someday, so…" Tara reasoned, gently covering Willow's hand and rubbing her thumb against the promise ring, "We're a duckie family aren't we? Quacking along?"

Willow smiled again.

"Yes, we're a duckie family."

Tara wanted to see more of that smile.

"Who'll have some little ducklings someday who will benefit from parents who've learned the finer points of shared living."

Willow chuckled, then puffed out a breath of air.

"Slow down there, I can't have a baby and a quarter life crisis at the same time."

Tara sighed softly and brushed the back of her hands against Willow's cheek.

"I wish you didn't think of it like that. Lots of people take time off to figure themselves out."

Willow nodded; her research on the internet told her she'd done the right thing in not jumping into a career she didn't want, if the amount of blogs by worn-down people on 'sabbaticals' were anything to go by. Her heart also reaffirmed it every time she imagined her life as it would be should she have gone down that route.

"I've just never had nothing to do before. There's always been a book report, or lab write-up or research project to work on."

"But the whole reason you declined grad school was because you didn't want to be ruled by that stuff anymore," Tara replied, letting her hand fall off to Willow's arm.

"I know that," Willow replied, at least happy that she was sure of what she didn't want, "I just want… something."

"Have you looked into volunteering at all?" Tara suggested.

Willow shook her head.

"I don't have any volunteer-able skills. I'm not good with kids or the needy, like you."

"Of course you do," Tara replied emphatically, "What about teaching the elderly how to use a computer?"

Willow turned her head towards Tara.

"I didn't think of that."

Tara rubbed Willow's arm encouragingly.

"I bet there's a senior centre nearby that would be interested."

Willow smiled, pleased to at least have somewhere to jump off from.

"I'll look into it. Thanks."

"Good!" Tara replied, delighted, then tapped a finger against the form, "Are we filling this out?"

Willow stared hard down at the pages, then back up at Tara.

"You really want to?"

"I really do," Tara replied without question.

"As soon as I have an income, it'll be 'ours' too," Willow reassured, though she was the one who needed to hear it more than Tara.

"I know," Tara replied with a smile, "And until then, we will both have access to our money, as it should be. Our relationship, our life, our money."

Willow started to get a little choked up at the gesture.

"This means a lot."

Tara stroked one hand down the back of Willow's hair.

"It's as it should be," she repeated softly.

"I won't abuse it," Willow replied quickly, "Just for groceries and things we need."

"Well, why don't we say we have to discuss purchases of more than a hundred dollars with each other," Tara reasoned, "And it's okay to have some 'wants' too. We're not exactly rich, but the whole point of this is so we both have more freedom. We've worked out our budget for bills and stuff, so we just check in with each other to make sure we don't overspend the rest."

Willow hugged Tara, sidelong.

"I love you so much Tare-bear."

Tara smiled and kissed Willow's temple.

"Now let's hurry up and get this done. I want to see those panties on."

She smirked and let her fingers brush the nape of Willow's neck.

"And then off."

Willow's cheeks flushed and she stuffed the panties into her pocket. They went over to the table with a pen and filled out everything on the form. They each signed it, smiling at each other, then hugged after putting it back in the envelope. Their lips met and they kissed tenderly for several seconds before popping off and nuzzling noses. Willow dropped another kiss onto Tara's lips, then pushed her chair back and stood up.

"Go sit on the couch."

Tara watched Willow run into the bedroom until she was out of sight, then went and sat on the couch as requested. She kicked off her shoes and opened her top button, then settled back and relaxed with her arms behind her head.

It was only a couple of minutes before Willow came back out, nude apart from the new underwear. Tara cast an appreciative and leering eye up and down.

"I have excellent taste."

Willow pulled at the little bow on the front of the underwear.

"In girlfriends or panties?"

Tara cocked her eyebrows enticingly.

"Both."

Willow blushed and smiled at the same time and came over to sit in Tara's lap. Tara settled her hands on Willow's hips and rubbed there.

"Are you going to give me a little lapdance?"

Willow wasn't about to risk Klutzilla making an appearance, so she just swayed her body from side to side, then did a little more insistent grinding and finally pulled Tara's face into her breasts. The top of Tara's hair was slightly mussed as she popped back out, but she was grinning wildly.

"I would pay top dollar for you."

"Hey, maybe there's a career opportunity…" Willow replied, matching her grin.

Tara shook her head and wagged her finger, then slid that finger down Willow's chest.

"This…is just for me."

Willow caught Tara's hand by the wrist, lifted it and took that finger between her teeth. She bit gently and then released.

"What are you going to do with it?"

Tara dipped a finger into the front of Willow's panties and snapped the elastic.

"I'm going to start with this."

She lifted her hands to hold Willow's face and pulled her down to kiss. Their lips brushed gently at first, but as Tara's hands slid down to cup Willow's breasts, her tongue pushed its way past Willow's teeth and into her mouth.

Willow squirmed as Tara's palms brushed her nipples. The room was warm, but she didn't need the cold to help stiffen them; Tara's thumbs were doing the job all on their own.

"Mmm, baby," she moaned against Tara's lips, "As much as you are rocking this power suit…"

She popped open the single button on Tara's jacket and used her hands to slide it off her shoulders. She flicked it down Tara's arm, caressing her along the way. When it was off, she caught each of Tara's wrists, kissed inside where her pulse pounded, then crossed them behind her neck.

She turned her head in and kissed the crook of Tara's elbow. Her lips trailed up Tara's inner arm and along her shoulder blade before finally pressing into the tender skin on her neck.

Her hand moved to Tara's knee and caressed her through the sheer of her pantyhose.

"I love you in these skirts," she whispered into Tara's ear, hand sliding down, "I love that flash of leg…that glimpse of your calf muscle."

Her fingers dragged back up and crept under Tara's skirt.

"I love imagining it riding up…exposing your thighs."

Her hand fell away and she could see the flush rising in Tara's cheeks. She dipped a finger into the hollow of Tara's throat.

"Seeing you in them every day has sure fueled on my librarian fantasy."

Tara was busy being aroused, but had to smile at that.

"Oh yeah?"

Willow nodded.

"I like big…" she started, letting that finger fall into Tara's cleavage before glancing up with mirth in her eyes, "Books. And I cannot lie."

Tara grinned but didn't break the mood by laughing. She undid the rest of the buttons on her blouse with one hand and brushed the fabric either side. Willow kissed Tara's shoulder where her bra strap was, and followed the line down into her breasts.

She pulled the blouse down, trapping Tara's arms so they both felt that moment of rousing resistance. Finally she released the garment and climbed her way down to her knees, kissing Tara's stomach on the way.

She reached under Tara's skirt and pulled her pantyhose down to her knees, carefully not to rip them as she had on an overzealous occasion or two. She then reached back under and hooked her fingers into Tara's panties. She tugged them off, taking the pantyhose the rest of the way with them.

She twirled her finger, motioning for Tara to turn around so she would have access to the zip on the skirt. Tara turned on all fours on the seat and wiggled her butt a little, provocatively.

Willow got up behind her, pressing her hips into Tara's jutting ass. Her nose pushed Tara's blouse upwards as she pressed kisses down Tara's spine, then took the slider of the zipper in her mouth and pulled it down. The skirt fell down to bunch at Tara's knees and Willow continued kissing her newly exposed cheeks, uncovered by Tara's thong.

Tara lifted one knee at a time to kick the skirt away, then swung around and threw one leg over Willow's lap so she was straddling her. Willow's hands curved around Tara's buttocks and she was close to having her tongue hanging out of her mouth as Tara shrugged off her blouse. Tara snapped off her bra, wriggled it in Willow's face and tossed it behind her.

Willow buried her face between Tara's breasts and palmed her thighs, enjoying her girlfriend's fleshiest places under her touch.

Tara guided Willow's mouth to where she wanted them to be – lips clasped around her nipple to pull that surging arousal out from between her legs. She felt Willow's fingers tease her damp lips and it only made her wetter.

Willow twisted her wrist under Tara's panties and teased her opening. She dipped her finger inside and then dragged it out and up to circle Tara's clit. Tara's inner muscles clenched trying to pull Willow inside and a soft groan of frustration passed her lips.

Willow moved one hand to Tara's shoulder to anchor herself while the other angled and entered her fully. Tara let out a keen humming sound and her hands clawed at the back of the couch.

She lifted herself up and took Willow's fingers inside her again, then again, faster. Willow matched her stroke for stroke, pushing hard enough for her wrist to hurt but enjoying the sounds coming from Tara too much to notice.

Tara rolled her hips against Willow's hand with a neat but needy flourish. Her teeth lightly indented her bottom lip as the pleasure swelled in her abdomen, ebbing and flowing, leaving her constantly trying to catch it.

Willow's breath huffed in sync with Tara's flaring nostrils, as she intently watched her facial contortions of pleasure. She felt Tara start to really heat up inside and twisted a well-timed thumb around to put pressure on her clit.

Tara's teeth trembled as she finally coaxed over the edge and her body naturally fell forwards against Willow. She panted into Willow's neck, shivering as Willow pulled out the last spasms from inside her.

Willow slowly slowed her fingers to stillness, resting them there for a few moments. She then used both hands to stroke Tara's spine and turned her head in to kiss Tara's cheek repeatedly.

Tara smiled and nuzzled her nose into Willow's neck.

"That tickles."

Willow lifted a finger to Tara's cheek and turned it inwards to meet her lips. They kissed softly until Tara got a second wind and moved Willow into lying flat on the couch.

Tara kneeled between Willow's legs and pulled her down by her hips. She pressed a finger on Willow's clit through her panties, enticing a soft gasp.

Tara could feel Willow was wet through her panties, so pulled them slowly down her legs and off. Her fingers brushed against Willow's curls, making her thighs twitch. Tara grinned, dragged one finger between Willow's outer lips, then brought it up to her mouth to suck on it.

She could see Willow's body shaking with need, so moved her knees back as far as the couch would allow and bent over the rest of the way to have her tongue land between Willow's legs.

Willow's arms reached behind over the arm of the couch, stretching her body out luxuriously. She arched her hips up to meet Tara's mouth, slowly, enjoying each caress of Tara's tongue.

"Yes, baby…"

She moaned and squirmed through each wave that jolted between her legs and pulsated throughout the rest of her body. When she could feel herself near climax she brought a hand to Tara's head and held her there throughout the orgasm.

Her toes curled into the couch and she let out one long, strained breath before finally collapsing back.

Tara waited for Willow's legs to flop down before wiping her mouth on Willow's thigh. She then climbed above her, hovering on her arms with their hips pressed together.

Willow caught Tara by the back of the neck and pulled her down to smooch. Tara rested her upper body on Willow's and returned the kiss.

Tara trailed kisses along Willow's jaw, then rested her cheek against Willow's shoulder.

"Mmm, now that is what I like to come home to."

Willow drew a circle on Tara's ass.

"See, I have some use."

Tara's head lifted and she looked at Willow sternly.

"Don't say that."

Willow threw up a hand defensively.

"I'm just joking."

"Except you're kinda not," Tara replied, taking a breath to keep herself from getting riled up, "Do you respect my opinion?"

"More than anyone," Willow answered honestly.

Tara tenderly brushed some hair from Willow's brow.

"Then why don't you believe me when I say you're wonderful?"

Willow swallowed and averted her eyes. Tara kissed Willow's cheek affectionately.

"I get it," she said softly, "For a long time, achievements were your only praise. But you have to get over that mindset. You have to understand that you matter more than your achievements. You have to get that I want to be with you for you."

Willow's eyes flicked towards Tara's, who held her gaze.

"Would you consider seeing a therapist?"

Willow shook her head.

"And not because I'm too proud. But it would just remind me too much of my mother…who is the main source of my issues. She's the reason I got into psychology…and the reason I'm now running as far away as possible from it."

Tara linked one set of fingers and squeezed their palms together.

"The bravest thing you ever did was decide to live your life for yourself and not to follow blindly something you didn't love. I'm so proud that you did that; please don't belittle that bravery because you're in a bit of a lull. Who cares if you do nothing?"

"Me," Willow replied, almost inaudibly.

Tara understood, and wished she could do more to help.

"What about the computer stuff we talked about earlier?"

Willow ran her thumb over Tara's knuckles, helping her to relax.

"Yeah, as a volunteer maybe. No one is going to hire me without the relevant degree, even if I could out-hack them all three times over," she replied before adding on sheepishly, "I already checked. People with masters and PhDs are fighting for entry level jobs."

"So maybe eventually you try out some less skilled jobs for a while. Play the field a little, see what suits and what doesn't," Tara replied easily, hoping if she showed Willow she wasn't worried about her, she might not worry so much herself, "But take your time. That's a life skill all in itself and one you could do with learning."

Willow had to smile; that part was true and there were areas of herself she could benefit from some introspection on. Particularly surrounding her self-esteem and worth within their relationship.

She wouldn't be running to a therapist, but there were other things she could do. She could better herself physically and emotionally, and she could bulk out the non-working related aspects of her résumé, so then maybe, when she felt ready, she could try some low-skill jobs and get a feel for where she was suited in the labour force.

It was all things Tara had said before, but she finally listened. Tara was right, she couldn't say she valued her opinion if she never took it on board and the truth was Tara was absolutely the person the trusted most, especially when it came to her, and their, happiness. She leaned in and rested her forehead against Tara's.

"Thank you for putting up with me."

Tara kissed Willow gently.

"Go easy on my girlfriend. She deserves some kindness," she said, brushing their noses together, then inhaling softly and sliding a hand along her own stomach, "I think we could stretch to some Chinese food. You in?"

Willow lifted her eyebrows.

"Does that mean you'll stretch out and I'll eat Chinese food off you?"

"If you're lucky," Tara replied with a crooked smirk.

Willow leaned up and pecked Tara's lips.

"I'm the luckiest," she said, kissing Tara once more before resting her head back on the arm of the couch.

Her laptop was sitting on the floor, just out of arm's reach, but she was able to get it with a slight stretch. She rested it on her stomach, and a little on Tara's hip since she was lying alongside her.

She did a quick search and pulled up a website for Tara to see.

"This is the other Chinese place in the area we haven't tried yet. Want to try it out?"

The pictures of dishes on the website looked nice, so Tara nodded.

"What do you want?" Willow asked, clicking on the menu.

"What are the chef's specials?" Tara asked, casting her eye over the page.

Willow scrolled down to the right section.

"Sesame chicken and Peking duck. I love those little pancake-y things."

"Let's get both with some veggie lo mein," Tara suggested, feeling her stomach warm up at the thoughts of food.

"I want egg rolls," Willow added on.

Tara agreed with a nod.

"And get some spicy green beans."

Willow's nose scrunched.

"There's veggies in the noodles!"

"You don't have to eat the green beans," Tara placated with a slight roll of her eyes.

"Yeah, you say that now but I'll still get 'the look'," Willow muttered in response, "Hey, I can order online here too. I love the future."

She went through the process and submitted their order, then returned her laptop to the floor as it was starting to burn her stomach.

"30 minutes," she announced, then turned her attention back to Tara with a smile, "Thank you for the gentle-yet-persuasive kick up the ass. My head feels clearer than it has in a while."

Tara smiled back, warmly.

"I'm so glad."

"And you're right; 'you're only as good as your achievements' is destructive thinking," Willow replied with a definitive nod, "I'll try to pull myself up on that. But I don't want to slouch around either. I want to contribute to the household. And I think I have a plan for that. Work on Willow a bit and then work on work!"

"As long as you're happy," Tara said, tapping Willow's heart gently.

Willow covered Tara's hand on her chest and gave it a squeeze.

"It's pretty amazing to have someone care so much about that."

"Well to quote my very favourite person," Tara replied with her lips quirked up on one side, "I love you, doofus."

Willow scooched her butt down a little so her face was in line with Tara's. She cupped Tara's cheek, brushed away the hair at the tops of her fingers and moved her lips in to plant them on Tara's.

The minutes passed quickly and they were in much the same position when the buzzer for the intercom sounded. Willow's lips popped off of Tara's and glanced at the offending sound.

"Shit!"

She jumped up and ran over to the intercom.

"Be right down!"

She flew into the bedroom and was out again in mere seconds with a hoody on and zipping up her pants. She bolted out the door, but almost immediately came back again.

"I don't have any cash!"

Tara pointed to her purse sitting on the table and Willow rooted through to find her wallet and take out what she needed. She pounded down the stairs, paid and collected the food, then back up them, wheezing slightly as she got to the top.

I need to get in shape!

She came back into the apartment and Tara was just coming out of the kitchen with two soda cans, two glasses of ice and wearing a tank top and teeny tiny shorts. Willow gulped.

"Food…I have."

Tara was about to respond, when the room was suddenly plunged into darkness.

"Uh oh," Willow's voice spoke out.

Tara manouvered her way around the furniture to peek out the fire escape.

"The whole street is out."

Willow found the table and left the bag of take-out on it, then got her phone from her pocket and used it as a partial source of light. Tara took it and rooted out some matches and tealights. She placed several around their living space and lit them all, resulting in some low mood-lighting – plenty to see each other, especially when they sat close on the floor on some cushions.

They didn't bother with plates and just used the chopsticks that came with the food to eat out of the boxes.

"Try this," Willow said, holding a piece of sesame chicken between her chopsticks and up to Tara's mouth.

Tara closed her lips around it and savoured the soft burst of flavour and texture.

"That is yummy."

"Yes you are," Willow replied, watching Tara's lips move, before producing a hidden blush in the dark, "I mean, yes it is."

Tara was able to coerce Willow into eating a couple of green beans by feeding them to her, though they were washed down with a quick swig of soda.

"That is love," Willow said with a smile, "I won't eat a green bean for just anyone."

"Well now you're one-up in the quid pro quo stakes," Tara replied with a twinkle in her eye, visible even in the dark, "How are you going to collect?"

Willow eyed Tara's cleavage. A black-out wasn't about to dampen her spirits.

"Oh…I have a few ideas…"