Dlbn: It's been too long since I updated this! (Smacks self upside the head) There is no excuse for this, other than me being lazy. So anyway, enough of my scolding of myself, and on with the story!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot! Dr. Phil and Robin belong to themselves. Kingdom Hearts and all related places, themes, and people belong to Tetsuya Nomura. I am not he. If I were, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction, I'd be filthy stinking rich, and BBS would have been out here already. September 7th, people!
About ten minutes after the taping session had ended, Dr. Phil managed to track down Saïx in the courtyard. Marluxia was skipping about happily, picking flowers and chasing butterflies, and Saïx was facing away from him, sitting on a stone bench.
"Hello there, Saïx." Dr. Phil greeted cheerfully. "How have you been since the last-"
"Take your false sympathy and shove it, doc." Saïx sneered. "I don't want to be bothered."
"Oh?" Dr. Phil arched an eyebrow. "And why is that?"
"Can't a guy just have some privacy?" Saïx sneered again.
Now, one who knew Saïx very well would know when he was getting irritated, and would thus stop whatever they were doing to annoy him. Dr. Phil, unfortunately, was not one of those people.
"Everyone is entitled to privacy, Saïx, yes, but I was hoping we could continue our discussion from the meeting."
Saïx glared at the balding doctor and looked up at the slowly appearing moon. It was a full moon tonight, but hopefully his anger would remain in check. Last thing he needed was to attack the Doctor or one of his lackeys and give them more of a reason to stay, or an excuse to send him to a mental facility.
"I don't wish to discuss that." Saïx informed.
"Oh, Doctor Phil!" Marluxia called sweetly. "Please do not anger Saïx! He's second in command around here! If he's angry we all suffer!"
The Berserker turned to Marluxia and growled, making the pink haired man shrink back a bit before going back to chasing his butterflies.
"Perhaps we could come to a compromise?" Dr. Phil continued, missing the double meaning in Marluxia's words.
"I don't think so." Saïx glared before looking back at the moon. It was more visible now. Saïx could almost feel his 'emotions' getting out of control, if such a thing was possible for a Nobody.
"Okay." Dr. Phil said. "If you don't want to continue our discussion from earlier, perhaps we could discuss something else?"
"I'd really rather be alone right now."
A beat of silence. "You're not alone."
"If you mean Marluxia, he's not bothering me. He's chasing butterflies and talking to the flowers."
Dr. Phil looked over. Sure enough, Marluxia was sitting on the ground by a patch of roses, seemingly deep in a discussion with the plants. The Doctor sighed and shook his head.
"What is the matter with that man?" He wondered.
"Man?" Saïx snorted. "That's generous."
Dr. Phil turned back to the blue haired Nobody. "He says you're second in command here, but your number is seven, if I remember correctly?"
"Numbers mean nothing." Saïx informed. "Simply the order we joined."
"Ah, I see." Dr. Phil nodded. "And who was second in command before you arrived, might I ask?"
"I wish you wouldn't ask me, but I know I have no choice in that department." Saïx sighed. "Xigbar was."
"And was their tension when you became second in command instead?"
Saïx blinked and raised an eyebrow. "Putting it lightly."
Dr. Phil nodded and pulled out a notepad. He wrote something on it. "Sunsets sure are pretty, are they not?"
"What does that have to do with anything? Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I asked to be left alone." Saïx stood in an attempt to leave.
"Are you going back inside?" Dr. Phil wondered.
"Why is your business if I am?"
"Cause if you are, I would walk with you. I need to go and speak to my wife about something."
"Do it on your own time and leave me alone." Saïx snarled.
"Saïx, cool it." Xigbar ordered, suddenly coming up behind the neophyte.
Saïx glared. "How long have you been listening?"
"Quite some time, actually, mate." Xigbar smirked, his golden eye sparkling.
"What have I told you about spying on the other members?" Saïx wondered, noting that Dr. Phil was wildly scratching his pen across the notepad in his hand.
"Yo ho." Xigbar waved his hand. "I wasn't spying. I happened to be sitting under that there tree." He pointed to a tree covered in white sakura blossoms.
"You couldn't have heard me from that far away." Saïx prodded.
"Aye, yet you were loud enough. And Marluxia's yelling is very hard to miss."
Saïx growled again and rolled his golden eyes. "That may be the case…" He seemed to lose his trail of thought as he looked at Dr. Phil. "What in the world are you writing now?"
"Oh, just a few observations on your friend there." Dr. Phil nodded towards Marluxia, but Saïx could clearly see his and Xigbar's names on the paper when it was held correctly.
"If you say so." Saïx inched around the man, his argument with Xigbar long forgotten, and walked towards the beach house.
Dr. Phil chased after him. "Wait for me!" He ordered.
Saïx stopped and looked at the annoyance over his shoulder. "I do not have to listen to orders from you." He said, starting to walk again.
Dr. Phil was persistent. "I just want to discuss your issue with intimacy!"
Saïx turned in a flash. "Not so loud, you moron!" He ordered with a sneer.
He heard Xigbar; "uh oh." Perhaps his eyes were changing yellow, indicating his soon to arrive change.
"And I do not have a problem with intimacy! I just wish to have some privacy!"
"Hey, Doctor Mate! Stop!" Xigbar ordered from behind him.
Marluxia joined Xigbar's side and nodded.
Dr. Phil stopped in his tracks and turned around. "That's Doctor Phil!" He said, matter-of-factly.
"I don't care what it is!" Xigbar rolled his eye. "Stop bothering Saïx. It won't end well for any of us."
"I am merely trying to help."
"I don't want your help!" Saïx growled, his voice deepening slightly from its normal tone.
"Now you've done it." Marluxia said, rolling his eyes.
Saïx didn't know how to stop himself from what came next. A few more words from Dr. Phil had him growling and sneering in the man's direction. Dr. Phil turned a second too late. Saïx, his scar a bit longer and jagged and hair messy, lunged.
"Shit." Xigbar cursed. He used his powers of space and appeared in front of the Doctor, brandishing his arrow guns. "No more, Saïx!" He ordered.
Saïx landed a few steps in front of the pirate-minded nobody. He growled, lifting up the side of his lip.
"I don't understand." Dr. Phil said. "I was only trying to help."
Saïx's lip rose higher and he crinkled his nose, growling.
"It would be best if you didn't say anything, sweetie." Marluxia informed. "He's pretty grumpy right now!"
"What has happened to him?" Dr. Phil wondered. "He was mild mannered a few minutes ago."
"Aye, mate, if you think that was "mild mannered", then ye have scurvy for brains."
Marluxia raised an eyebrow. "How does that make sense?"
Xigbar rolled his eye. "Just go get the Cap'n, won't ye?"
"You mean Xemnas?" Marluxia asked. "I'm on it, sweetie!" He ran off, calling 'Xemnas' as he did so.
Saïx appeared to get more agitated.
"What's going on over…oh, shit." Larxene ran a hand through her blonde locks and pulled out her kunai. "What set him off this time?" She wondered.
"Dr. Phil here won't mind his own business." Xigbar said. "Nor does the man know when to put a cannonball in it."
"Sounds like someone else I know." Larxene rolled her eyes.
"Why is Marluxia running around yelling for Xemnas?" Axel wondered.
The redhead rounded the corner with Roxas. Sora and Riku were in tow.
"I think Saïx is going berserk." Roxas informed.
"Phil's fault?" Sora wondered.
"I am most certainly not to blame!" Dr. Phil said, earning a growl from Saïx. "We were having a nice, civilized conversation before this."
"Civilized?" Xigbar repeated in disbelief.
"Do you have your camera, Riku?" Dr. Phil wondered.
"I doubt you want your death on tape, Mr. Doctor." Larxene snarled.
Dr. Phil swallowed hard.
"I do." Riku nodded. He turned on the camera and aimed it at the scene before him.
Saïx turned around and snarled. He lunged and Axel brought out his Chakrams. He blocked the blue haired Nobody's attack. Riku stumbled backwards and tripped. Saïx followed Axel's lead and pulled out his Claymore.
"Great idea, Axel." Roxas moaned, rolling his eyes. "Now he's more dangerous." The Keyblade formed in Roxas' left hand.
Saïx seemed to anger even more, is possible, and backed off. He flicked his wrist and spikes protruded out from his claymore.
"Damn." Axel said. "You're a feisty little thing today, aren't you?" He wondered.
Vexen and Lexaeus rounded the corner, both seeming to stumble over their own feet. "What in the world is going on?" Vexen asked, scratching the side of his head.
"Phil pissed off dog-boy." Axel informed.
Demyx and Zexion arrived as well, both looking a bit disheveled. "Marluxia just ran through the beach house screaming about how he needed to find Xemnas or we'd all be doomed." Demyx offered, scratching at his bangs. "So uh…what now?"
Saïx turned as Dr. Phil began writing on his notepad again. He growled and lunged again.
Xigbar rolled his eyes and fired at him with his arrow guns. The laser-like bullet barely grazed his shoulder.
"Your aim sucks!" Demyx informed.
"Why don't you give it a try there, Bucko?" Xigbar offered.
Demyx shook his head. "I'm not suicidal!"
Zexion unconsciously pulled his sleeves over his hands. His Lexicon formed next to him. He took it and flipped through the pages. When he found what he needed, he flung out his hand. Another Dr. Phil formed near the garden. Saïx seemed to see it. He looked between both Dr. Phil's and ran after the fake. Zexion cocked a smirk. Messing with Saïx was amusing, he had to admit.
"What in the world is going on?" Xemnas asked softly, coming into the clearing behind the house, Marluxia at his side.
"He went all berserk." Lexaeus said, his words slurred.
Xemnas shook his head as he got a glimpse of the other Nobody attacking an illusion of Dr. Phil, no doubt a result of Zexion's abilities. "And you want me to deal with it? Can't you guys handle it?"
"Our idea of handling it seemed to be giving him the idea to call forth his Claymore, and not being able to shut up the Doctor." Roxas said softly. "I think you should do something."
They all nodded.
"Yeah, he likes you." Larxene said. "The rest of us are screwed, to put it simply."
Saïx continued going to town, attacking the illusion of Dr. Phil, briefly wondering why it wasn't bleeding, or at least being damaged. The next thing he was aware of, a hand was on his shoulder, pulling him from the illusion.
"For Kingdom Heart's sake, Saïx." Xemnas moaned. "You need to calm down."
Saïx sneered and tried to go after the illusion again.
"I'm sorry, Saïx." Xemnas muttered. He spun the younger man to face him and closed his eyes before grabbing at his lower regions.
Saïx's eyes widened before turning back to their normal gold. His scar became less jagged and his hair smoothed out. He slapped Xemnas hard across the face. "What did I say about doing that?" He cried.
"I'm sorry." Xemnas hung his head in shame and rubbed left his cheek. "But I had to wake you up out of your trance and…"
Saïx growled, shook his head, and stormed off.
Axel rolled his bright green eyes. "That went well."