"Well, what should we call them?"
"Huh? What? What are you talking about, Cam?"
"'The Twins', of course. What should we call them? 'Righty' & 'Lefty'," emphasizing the point my squeezing & jiggling each breast in turn.
"Um, yeah. I suppose. Why are you asking me this?" a now very red-faced and embarrassed John stammered through, trying (miserably) to keep his eyes on Cameron's face and off her pert woman parts.
"According to Cosmo, it's very common for couples to give pet names to each other, and to each other's various body parts. As we have been a couple for 3 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 9 hours, 3…."
"Yeah, but…"
"…minutes, and 28…29 seconds, I think we should try this. I do admit, 'Righty' and 'Lefty' are not exactly my first choice. I was thinking of calling the right one 'Thomasina Guenevere Madeline', a poor orphan girl who grew up and managed to marry a very handsome and wealthy young man by the name of John, and the left one 'Eiddwen Summer Rose', a fair young maiden who is very well practiced with the bow [archery] and will someday become Queen alongside her beloved, Prince John the Resistor."
John just stared and blinked with his signature "what the hell?" look plastered on his face.
The ticking of the clock hanging on the wall actually became audible to John's ears at this point – which, given the fact that above all he could only hear the beating of his heart and blood rushing in his ears, was quite an accomplishment.
"Uh, Cam…are you feeling ok? Do you, perhaps, need to run some sort of diagnostic something or other?"
"All my systems are within functional parameters. John, why are you looking at me that way?"
"John?"
"John?"
"JOHN!"
snort…"huh? Whazzat? Hmmm….what?"
John slowly swam back to consciousness, barely aware of the form next to him, his protector, and now girlfriend of some three and half months, Cameron.
"John, I detected you were having a stressful dream. You were talking in your sleep."
"Who's Thomasina?"
blink blink