(tw for: death mention, nightmares, and slight nsfw towards end.)
Sans knew you had been watching him for some time. He'd heard the soft sounds of your door creaking, and the catching of your breath once he had said something a bit more personal and raw.
He knew he should've hung up or redirected the conversation he was having once he noticed you, but frankly he didn't want to. Sans wasn't quite sure why he kept going though. Perhaps it was just the idea of talking to you, apologizing for being a dick, and maybe even-
No.
You had enough problems, why burden you with his? You finally had been able to talk about your problems with a counselor; someone who could help you more than simple pats on the back and feigned reassurances.
But, yet... He felt so weak when he was around you, as if you said one word and he'd immediately be at your beck and call. It felt a bit embarrassing, although he'd admit it to no one.
When he saw you, he just couldn't stop talking.
Asgore wasn't a big helper of solving problems, but it was nice to finally get the years worth of drama and abuse he and Papyrus had gone through out a little bit. It wasn't a big help, but definitely better than keeping it in like he was used to.
But, yeah, Sans knew Asgore already had enough problems to sort through. He had over thousands of monsters to look after, not just himself and one other. Thousands of monsters who needed consolation and care, much more than he needed.
Asgore was, frankly, shit at consoling when it finally came down to it however.
You, on the other hand...
Your bright smile, those silly baggy sweaters you insisted on wearing, the way you could always bring a laugh to him even on his worst days. The way you always carried the scent of your bookstore around with you, along with a small scent of lavender. It was intoxicating at some points, dizzying and lovely at others.
Maybe he was being a bit selfish, he'd admit, but... If you were willing, Sans... He just needed a goddamn friend right now.
The first thing he notes when you walk out of your bedroom door is that you still have on your dark skinny jeans, a wrinkled white button-up shirt tucked into them loosely. Sans, with the few weeks you've lived here, noted that you probably do that a lot. He doesn't remember you wearing pajamas, like, ever.
"-are you okay, Sans?" Your soft voice fills his thoughts as he turns to look at you, his face likely devoid of emotion.
"no," Sans chuckled, "not at all."
It was the first time he's said that out loud.
You bit your lip, "What's wrong, Sans? I... I might not be the most helpful person, but I... You can talk to me."
Sans sighed, "just monster drama, i suppose. there's been a lot of cases where friends have been hurt and harassed by some stupid, ignorant human. frisk got bullied at school because tori's their mom, there's been at least a dozen cases of attempted homicide... it's all getting fucked really quickly, _. i'm not sure what to do about it anymore."
"How long has this been going on?" You asked the exact question Sans didn't want to answer. He knows how much you'll worry when he tells you.
"since monsters arrived from the barrier," He said honestly, "so. two years ago, i suppose."
"Two years?" You stood up straighter, "What, how... How did I not know about this?"
Sans blinked.
"Holy shit, Sans," You breathed out, "Why aren't we doing something about this?"
He doesn't hear you swear a lot. It's a surprise in of itself to hear you say something like that, much less the added curse that went along with it.
"we've tried," Sans shrugged, "we can't do anything if humans aren't willing to lend a hand."
"That..." You stop, "That's idiotic."
He nods.
"What can you do about it?" You finally spoke up, your gaze focused intently on the kitchen tile.
Sans took a second to think about your question, "the monsters are going to the underground in a few weeks, you know that already... i just am hoping to god that they'll be able to do something about it then."
You sighed, "Well, S-Sans..."
"Why aren't you going with them?"
"what?" Sans said, harsher than he meant to. His guilt is tripled ten-fold when he sees you flinch at his tone.
"You can likely help," You said quickly, "You're one of the smartest people I've met, Sans, and you'd likely be a complete help on their part. If it's because of... Well, me... Not to sound self-centered, I'm sorry, but... If it's about me, Sans, I'll be okay. I can take care of myself for a week or two."
Sans jumped off of his chair, saying silent and emotionless, and walked closer to you so that there'd only be a few yards of space between both of you.
He sighed deeply.
"are you dense?" Sans snaps, losing control of his emotions, "you're gonna get fucking killed with that sort of attitude."
You blink, "W-What?"
"those kids know that me and undyne are there," Sans admitted, "they'll come after you if we leave. if you don't know that, then what the hell?"
"I can take care of myself, Sans."
"and why do you think i want to go back to that hell hole anytime soon?" Oh dear god, Sans felt his eyesockets start to burn. He pushes away the feeling and tries to move on, "are you trying to get rid of me? do you really hate me that much that you want me to go to that damned place again?"
You take a step behind, bumping into the wall, "Sans, you're reading this all wrong-"
"i'm reading this all wrong?" He shouts, "no, _, you are! holy shit, why do you all think i need to go to the underground again? i don't want to ever go back there... never, fucking..."
Sans barely noticed the soft trembles you started to make, nor the sounds of heavy thunder starting to attack the soundwaves nearby.
Sans clenches his fists together.
"everytime i even see a goddamn picture of that place," Sans stops, knowing he should just shut up now, "i see it all again. and again. and fucking again, okay? i don't want to see everyone die like that! i don't want to watch my brother die time and time again from the hands of someone who is pretending to be my friend!"
"i don't want to be forced to kill them again, _," Sans barely notices the tears that are started to flow freely down his face. He feels numb, "over and over again, i have to kill them. and finally, i loose. they kill me with the knife they've used to kill everyone else i've ever loved or care about except for... except for you."
"it makes no sense to me either," He laughed bitterly, "i've never gone through anything like this. why are these dreams and thoughts so vivid? why is it like i'm viewing another life except i've only lived one? i've only lived one life with papyrus and frisk and toriel... and, and you. in all of those dreams, we never escaped from the underground. the only thing waiting back there for us is death from the hands of someone we thought was a friend."
"you must think i'm fucked up for dreaming about this shit, huh?" He asked, not really wanting an answer, "certainly you're going to want to leave me after this. i-i'm screaming at you, my best friend, for nothing you did wrong."
Your voice is weak. "S-Sans..."
The power suddenly goes off in the room.
He shook his head.
"you're an idiot," He finally says after a moment, "i need to stay here to protect you. i know you can keep yourself safe, and i know that me being here with you is only keeping you in the danger. but i'm so selfish, can't you see that? i'm selfish and i'm the reason you've got shot, the reason why that asshole pointed that gun at you."
He watched you as you slowly fell to the ground, watching as you hugged your knees close to your body. The skeleton knows that he should've said something, done anything, to comfort you but... He just. Couldn't.
"without us, without me," His voice was shaky, the room was pitch black. He could just barely make out your form in the darkness, "you wouldn't have to deal with any of this. your bookstore would still be here, you'd still have vivian as a friend... so why? why keep us here? you're gonna get yourself fucking killed."
You took a deep, shaky breath.
"Because I'm selfish too, Sans." Your voice was muffled.
"i can't ever let you go now," Sans felt weak, vulnerable, "you know that, right?"
"i can't leave you, i can't let you get hurt even though i'm the reason you are in danger," He heard thunder loud enough to where it felt like he was shaking the ground, "because... _..."
"i'm in love with you."
Your face immediately went up to see his, and he finally noticed the glassy haze your eyes have on them. He noticed the tear stained look your cheeks had. And he finally realizes he'd been yelling at you.
He takes a deep breath.
Sans lowers himself to the floor, sitting next to you on your left side. He shyly puts an arm over your shoulder.
You're shaking like a leaf.
You lean on his shoulder and he hears the soft cries of agony you make, the sounds he'd caused. Sans knew why you were crying was completely his fault. He knew it because he was crying along with you.
"i'm so sorry for yelling at you," He finally squeaked out, his voice going high, "i'm so sorry."
You shake your head, and suddenly both of your arms are around Sans's bony figure, "Sans, S-Sans," Your voice comes in waves, "Don't be sorry, don't be sorry, okay? It's okay, you're okay. I'm so sorry because I know that I-I messed up and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you as a friend, but k-know I'm here for you now. I'm not very h-helpful but I'll try."
You take in deep hiccups of breath, trying to say too many words in too little amount of time. It's lucky that Sans knows how to deal with fast talkers, he thinks afterwards.
"You're okay," You breathed out, "I-I'm here."
Suddenly, you pull out of Sans's grip slightly - just enough so you can look at his face. Your intent look would've made Sans blush in any other situation rather than this.
Fresh blobs of tears are running down your face, and you make a move to wipe them away.
"Sans..." You say after a moment, "I..."
"I love you too."
Sans was immediately shocked by this and opens his mouth to say something, but a loud sob comes out instead. And, look, Sans buries his face in the crook of your neck and starts balling. Balling for the tears he's never cried, for the deaths of his friends that never happened, and for you. Because he wants to save you from everything bad, yet he's met you too late to help.
He feels you rub circles on his back, and he even feels a few stray tears touch his neck. He didn't really expect this situation to ever happen though, it feels as if your rolls are switched.
Your breathing is deep, calming, and Sans almost loses himself in it.
He opens his mouth to say something again, "i'm sorry-"
"Shh," You hushed him.
Sans nodded.
After what feels like either a few minutes or an entire day, Sans still isn't quite sure, you both let go of each other.
He saw your tears are dried away and he feels your sleeves wipe away the stray one he has on his face. Sans tried to make a shy smile, but it only succeeded in making him feel useless.
"i really am-"
Your lips suddenly were planted on Sans's open ones, kissing him passionately and deeply. He felt the warmness and softness of your lips that he'd so dearly missed, he'd admit to himself, and kisses you back with just as much passion.
Your tongue started to poke at the entrance of his mouth, begging for entry, and Sans willfully complied with your request. You still tasted like sugar, like the sweetest candy in the entire Overworld.
Both of your tongues fought for dominance for a moment, but Sans figured you let him win after a few moments.
He kissed you deeper as his hands start trailing all around you. He first touches your shoulders, hesitantly going to your cheeks, before going down and trailing over your breasts and then softly squeezing. You make a cute sound when he did that.
Sans carefully tried to see your reaction when he unbuttoned the bottom button of your shirt, which was followed by small moan of yours. He ended up unbuttoning the entire shirt before the kiss ended, his hands shaky but determined.
You ended pulling away first, a trail of saliva connecting the two of you together in a bit of a lewd way.
Your cheeks were bright, flushed red, and your eyes looked hazy with something he couldn't quite explain. Although Sans is quite sure he looked the exact same to.
Sans tries not to look down, he really did, but he couldn't help it. Your bra was a dark blue color, a stark contrast from the one you'd worn at the bookstore. (Although these were vastly different circumstances.)
He watched you stand up and offer his hand, which he gratefully accepts. There was no need for words between the two of you, rather just a few awkward smiles. You shyly held onto his hand as you stood up, pulling him closer to your bedroom.
Once you arrived there, Sans slammed the door behind him, the sound started to echo within the entire house.