Author note: Can someone go and kill statistics for me? Okay? Thanks. *hies herself back to teh dreaded revision*
Familial Questions
1. What was your family like?
"Brilliant," said Jonathan, absolutely no emotion in his voice. "We had picnics every Sunday and everything."
Jacobyte glanced up cautiously. Paused halfway through writing this down. "Did your home planet even have a Sunday?"
"Nope."
"Thought not..."
2. Who was your father, and what was he like?
"He was a prick."
"And he was prick-like?" guessed Jacobyte.
"Pretty much."
3. Who was your mother, and what was she like?
Jonathan wet his lips. Jacobyte opened his mouth but thought better of it.
And a line went through that question too...
4. What was your parents marriage like? Were they married? Did they remain married?
"Jackie, can we skip these ones? What's the next section?"
"Childhood," read out Jacobyte.
"Oh Gods," Jonathan muttered, scrubbing his face with his hands. "Pro-sodding-ceed."
5. What were your siblings names? What were they like?
"No siblings."
"I think there are more crossed out questions now than answered ones, you know."
"Boo-freaking-hoo. Next?"
6. What's the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you? What's the worst thing you've done to one of your siblings?
Jonathan rolled his eyes.
7. When's the last time you saw any member of your family? Where are they now?
"The last member of my family I saw was my dad," said Jonathan. "When I shot him. I'll give you three guesses as to where he is now."
It was hard to tell if Jacobyte's resultant eye roll was more exasperated or fond. Or, somehow, both.
8. Did you ever meet any other family members? Who were they? What did you think of them?
"No, no and no." Jonathan shuffled back in his chair. "S'that the end of these ones?"
Jacobyte nodded and turned the page. Paused.
"What?"
"Next section's still childhood," Jacobyte said apologetically.
"Gods..."
"You expected it to change?"
"Hey, I can hope for improbable things just as much as you."
"Such as?"
"Such as me not waking you up by pouring cold water over you tomorrow morning."
"..."
Jonathan sent a sunny smile Jacobyte's way.