Under The Crescent Moon II: Laughing Stock Chapter 1: Kid A, a final fantasy ix fanfic

A/N: Hello everyone! How's 2023 doing so far? I feel like nothing has really changed, but so far, I've been doing pretty good. I may be the only person on earth who's writing the prequel of a story and its sequel at the same time, weird isn't it? I swear, this will be the last of rewrites. There'll be no major changes, aside from the first chapter, which was an unreadable mess. I might change a few chapter lengths as well, and mostly fix grammar errors. "English is weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though", like a wise man once said.

This fic is my dear child, and I take good care of her. I wish there was a feature on Fanfiction Net to manage chapters like on AO3, where you can update published chapter's positions. Anyway… For the people who are still reading this and are confused by the constant updates and deletions, I'm sorry for all the stress I've brought to you, but everything will be fine, and I owe you a lot too.

If for some reason you've come across this fic and you want to share your thoughts about it, feel free to leave a comment. Have a nice day, and happy new year. Alright, let's begin…

Radiohead - Kid A

July 15, 1779

...

...Sigh. Where was I?...

In the pub, in the field, at home...

These places are the same ones because of their sole purpose: they were made for us to forget.

Forget what happened there on the battlefield. Forget what happened to Clyde.

Remember what will happen here.

A year ago… It sure was not a special day, was it? The new King was crowned, or so the smoke rising in the air told us so. K-I-N-G. King. And that's the smoke. A chimney smoke. This is home, I am your dad. Dad. D-A-D. You know who I am, right? I am your dad. Your father. Know what a father is? A father takes care of his children, wishes for their best and craves for them to be fine and well.

How are you doing, young miss? Your mother said you had the prettiest smell of a white lily. Oh! You smell awful! Awful!... But you don't care, do you? And I thought I'd get used to this, but I was wrong. Yes, your father commits mistakes at times, he ain't perfect. No one is.

I hate changing diapers. You are laughing right now, but you'll see how painful it is. At least for my nose. This is my nose, and this is yours! Boop, got your nose! Boop, I got your nose again! Boop! Hehe, this is so silly, isn't it? Okay, I'll stop before you cry. Here's your nose back, now you can breathe once again, hooray!

Yes, it was fun while it lasted. If I mean the diaper change, hell no! Oh, please do not say hell in front of others, okay? I don't want that to be your first word, it'll cause a bad impression. Let it be anything else kids say these days, like dad, mom, your name… Do you know your name? I'm sure you do, young miss Crescent.

Young miss… you are just a baby. Pretty tall and heavy too! Hehe… No, no. I didn't call you fat. No, don't cry, I'm going to cry too. Well, you must be hungry, or tired, or both. I don't know, it's been years since your brother Jack grew to live on its own. He is still a child, but he has learned the basics of human decency, and that means to not crawl around wearing no clothes at all. Shh… Shh… it's okay, I am here for whatever you need.

Mom ain't here. She will be back soon, I promise. Stop crying, please. I'm not being inconsiderate to your needs, but what else can I do? Your mother is a warrior, the finest of the Dragoon Knights. Alone, Lenneth can take down a whole flock of big meanie dragons with that javelin. Pow! Bang! Scratch! Dragons are scary, but your mom is not. She loves you as much as I do, Freya.

Yes, that's your name! Freya Crescent… Freya. F-R-E-Y-A, mind if you spell it? Can you? Hello?... Stop poking your nose. You know your name, right? You know whose day it is, do you? Today is your birthday. I said today is your birthday. Ahem… And I said, today is your birthday!... Uh!? Nothing? Birthday? You know what that means, right? Freya? Are you listening to me?

We're going to celebrate the day you were born, my dear. The day you took your first breath and cried 'I AM ALIVE!''. It is a special day. I wonder which kind of gift I should give you. To be born is already a gift. And to have a father even more. Say it, F-A-T-H… I give up. Sometimes I wonder if all babies are born geniuses and they mock us adults with their silence. They look at us and we look back and if a baby could speak, they would say 'What a loser'. Or maybe not.

Freya enjoys looking around. She points at the spider's web up the window. What do you want to eat? No no no. There are things you eat and things you do not eat. Sounds silly but that's the truth. No, you can chew your tail as much as you want but it can't be eaten. It is part of you. Like your tiny heart beating a lot. Your heart beats more than mine, that must be why you refuse to sleep at night.

Look, that's a cloud in the sky. Gray, white, black… those are clouds. Why don't we go outside to see them? Look, it's the rain. Rain falls in the grass, the trees, the paths of cobblestone… everything. Rain falls on you and me. R-A-I-N. The rain of Burmecia never stops falling. Why does that happen? I don't know. Some say Burmecia is the promised land, a place where you can find happiness.

Happiness… does not everything look sad? You look happy. It must be the feeling of discovering things for the first time, and then you grow up and there's no sense of discovery anymore, just repetition. Excuse me, do I look sad? Oh, sorry… I too miss your mother. And Jack. If we can go visit your mom, sure! Why not? Let's put a dress on you first. And we need an umbrella too, rain is heavy today.

Do you like the rain, Freya? So do I. It makes me feel a lot better after an entire day of work. I have found an umbrella, now your dress. Rain makes Burmecian houses look dark, dull and loveless. I never had that impression until a friend of mine visited home. It was Prescott, returning from Lindblum. He looked at Burmecia with eyes filled of burden and guilt, as if he hated living here and wanted to look straight into the shining sun.

If I hate living here too? As long as I have you, honey… Oh, Freya, you have a lovely wardrobe for a 12 month old. It'll be sad most of these dresses will no longer fit you as you grow up. You should thank your mother, she had the care to make these for you. Let's see… Green and orange, green and orange, green and orange, green and orange, green and orange, green and orange, green and orange, green and orange, green and orange, green and orange, green and orange, green and orange, green and orange…Orange and green, huh? What do you think?

Wait... Freya, what is it in your mouth? Let me see… What is this? Is it a strand of hair? A cockroach's leg!? No! No, my dear, you cannot eat these things. They won't do you any good. Gee, are you that hungry? I know I am not rich, even after all I have done, but I do what I can. We do what we can to take care of you. Where 's mom? No idea. Maybe Lenneth is at the Jugend, or at the streets, let's find out.

Here. Wear this. It's a dress mom made for you. I must admit, Lenneth's pretty good at knitting. It must be cold outside, so I won't let go of you for anything. What do I wear? Because I too feel cold. Hey, look what I found… Lenneth won't mind if I take her Dragoon coat with me, won't she? Knowing your mom better, I think she will. I would not like to see stark raving Lenneth, none of us want that.

I must be boring you out with all my talk. I must be confusing a lot out of you, and yet you do not say anything else. You just stare back at me with introspective eyes. You do not reply but with this stare that says 'I want to know more'. Well, if you do want to know, Freya, the answer you seek will change your life forever.

You were born without clothes, without a name, without fur… why do you need this? Why do we need all of this? Why are we even born? I'll say one thing, darling. If we live just to suffer, that ain't living at all. You heard me? I'm sure you did. Of course you did! Alright, it's about time we find your mother. You will help me, right? Just nod if you agree with me? A nod? It's like this… see? Can you nod? Oh my… I miss knowing things for the first time.

I took the umbrella and Freya with me, locked the door with the keys I found lying near the flower vase and we began our search for Lenneth. What does she look like? You know, white-haired lady wearing red. Your hair sort of reminds me of Lenneth, but your eyes… those are mine, I guess. It's easy to find a red spot in a land filled with gray colors such as Burmecia. Not everything is gray, though. There's a limpid blue atmosphere around us, moss green skies in the afternoon and an uncanny architecture filled with organic mosaics like no other.

Somehow, Burmecia was built and we never used any bricks during the construction. Huge boulders of stone lifted by brave men with their weary arms, and I sincerely wonder what happened to those people. Out of a million, the names of a few Kings and Queens are remembered by the future generations. Wonder if they ever raised a tower with their own hands? If they ever had the effort of suspending a bridge upon a large river? I too wonder if my name will be erased from existence and my efforts put into the name of someone who was born with the right to rule.

But enough pessimism, that ain't good for health. I won't be forgotten because I have you, Freya. You will remember me as your father, and that's a better option than simply fading away like you never existed. Because, to exist, even though we might end up not existing, is very special. How do I know? Whenever I look at you, I do my best to make you feel better like your mother does, but Lenneth is like no other and you know it.

What does Lenneth have that I do not have? I wonder. Could it be that she's far more experienced than I when it comes to taking care of kids? Or it could be what I just said, no one else is like Lenneth. She is so beautiful, like you do. You got her hair, her nose, her way of looking at things, but you had to get something from me as well. Look, it's your brother Jack playing with other kids in the grass field.

Daddy... that's what Jack said, as he came near me the night you were born. He looked hungry, pale like a ghost. I offered him a slice of lizard tail to calm him down. We thought Lenneth would not make it for a moment, but your mother is strong and confident at what she does. I have never felt labor pain by myself, but I've been through the worst too. I saw a few friends of mine pass away in front of me, my own brother… May your uncle Clyde rest in Peace.

He had a thing for making provocative statements and was a bit of a pain in the butt at times, but Clyde was still my brother. If I'm crying? Not really. Hard to tell if someone's crying in the rain. I've seen so many faces tainted with despair and horror on the way to the city. Why the smile? Oh, you must have heard me talk about how hopeless a Burmecian looks. I find you cute, did you know that?

No, really. I never thought I would make for a good father. I blamed myself for turning Jack into a brat. These days he's more reserved and causing less trouble than before, thank God. He also hated that you were a girl instead of a boy, but you two seem to be getting along pretty well. Oh, Jack told me that you can't bite his tail. Please do not bite your brother's tail. Meanie Freya… Do not bite my finger, stop. Things you can eat and things you can't, do you remember?

Well… guess you have a lot to learn. You can't say anything yet, so I'll let it pass.

Lenneth... We share our purpose in life, as much as we do my best to reach our goals. Right now I'm looking around, trying to find your mom. I asked a few people if they saw her, and they said no, some pointed at the sky and others told me to go to the street, and here I am, at the old Fletchers memorial home. Still no Lenneth, isn't she quick?

Living on. living on. living on nerve ends… Dragging on a Monday, shattered weekends… Please, Freya, don't drool on my shoulder.

It was the coldest of nights, even with the windows shut, the clothes dry, and the candles set on the table. Lenneth, your mother… She was fine, and the nursemaid arrived within time. Otterley never failed with anyone. She is the same nursemaid who helped to bring Jack to this world. Welcome to the world of living! I guess. Let's move on, shall we? Well, one day I'll teach you how to walk with your legs, it'll be much easier than holding you with both arms. Sure, I could put you in a basket and not even notice you were there until your tail or your face popped up between the apples.

Dear Lord, Freya, when did you get that heavy and big? You were, like, this small. I had a friend who got a puppy and he was so small you could hold it with one hand. A month later, and his nails grew so big and sharp that I swear, it hurted like knives. Speaking of nails, I think I'll have to cut yours one day. What? It won't hurt. Looking around, my dear? Your mom? Soon she'll be there, don't worry... Why don't you try to sleep? I guess my shoulder's bone ain't that comfortable for your head.

Weekend lovers snuggling in a lamppost, terraced houses very near the abandoned railway, working in gardens, thornless roses, fat men playing with their garden hoses… I'm not that good of a singer, but Lenneth said once that I did fine. What do you think? I look at you, and I tell myself, you'll be one great person. You already are by just staying alive. At your age, I too looked around on my own, everything sounded fresh and new. The cold water at fountain, the green vines growing on a wall, the colors of a church's window

Now I look at these and I wonder what's wrong with me. Why can't I feel these things for the first time ever again? No, no, don't be afraid. There's nothing wrong with growing up. We all do, but nothing changes. Nothing has ever changed. You don't change suddenly with every birthday, nor are you closer to dying. I know because the graveyard is not filled with men who fought at war, but infants who fought for a change of living. And you did pretty well, my dear.

Welcome to the world of living, again. Hope you enjoy your stay.

...

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