Diminished Recall

by Castlefan6

A/N: By Request, PRE-Series Hookup, Rick and Lanie. Focus on Rick's discussion with Alexis about the night he danced, fell in love, and lost contact with a girl in college, sometimes memories come back at the worse time. COMPLETELY AU except for the conversation that prompted this and the use of some character's names

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only

This is a request from CRed1988, I hope it's close to what you wanted.

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Chapter 1

Previously (Courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com Suicide Squeeze Episode 2-15)

(CASTLE To Alexis)

"My first year of college, I, uh, went to a party, met this girl- Allison. In the space of six hours, we met, we talked, we danced, we fell in love. The next morning, she was gone. I spent a year trying to find her but never learned her last name. There's not a week that goes by I don't think about her. Your Gram told me that she loved a lifetime the night she met him."

In response to Alexis's question, How could Grams not know who your father was?

Flashback to Rick's Senior Year at College

Rick swore his next stop was going to be a Monastery, he was positive that monks didn't have female problems anywhere remote from those he had had for the last year. First, his world had been turned upside down at the end of last term. Kyra Blaine, his steady for the last three years, and his future as far as he was concerned had left him standing in Times Square, as she left for a new life in Paris. He had never seen it coming, nor felt an inkling of anything wrong with their relationship.

It had taken everything he had to survive and not do something stupid, but with the help of his best friend Bob Weldon, and others he had made it through the summer. Fall brought him to his last semester, and introduced him to a transfer student Jordan Bailees. They had a connection immediately and after some time discovered that Jordy had been dumped by her long-time boyfriend around the same time Kyra had left.

Tom Shaw had a different reason than Kyra, he had joined the U.S. Marines, was shipping out, and didn't want to leave as he said, a young widow with a life with nothing but a short memory and long-time regrets. Jordan disagreed; she wanted to be with him, but he refused.

Rick was just about to attempt to move from the very close friend zone to the dating zone with Jordy when Tom showed up on leave from the Marines in his Dress Blues, he didn't stand a chance and slinked back into his life of solitude, staying close friends with the latest girl to break his heart.

He turned his attention to school and concentrated on his studies and his hobby, writing. His friend Damian Westlake had encouraged him to submit his manuscript, and he had received a letter from a local publisher informing him that they would like to speak with his agent. The only problem was he didn't have an agent, nor have a clue where to find one.

Jordy had helped him with that about a month ago, introducing him to Paula Haas, a nasal twang-speaking, show as much cleavage as it takes, kind of woman, with a nice body and great legs, an agent that her family knew somehow. She seemed well-connected and didn't mind an off-color joke, so they got along fine. He had almost forgotten all about the letter and Paula acting as his agent until he returned to his room after class one Friday, and there she sat, Paula looking as hot as ever, and not bothering to cover her parts that were clearly in view of his eyes.

"Guess what Ricky?" she shrilled through that nasal tone,

"You have just received a book deal, it's not the biggest contract but I was able to negotiate some bonus money based on performance and sales. How about we go out and celebrate tonight?" she asked,

"I don't k"

He didn't get much of an objection out before Paula had led him to the shower, and began to undress him, "Come on Ricky, make it snappy. I have reservations for 8:00 PM and I don't want to be late" she insisted,

They went to dinner and Paula explained that the money would be coming in as sales were collected, but if the book made it to the best seller list, he would receive a 50K bonus, minus her commission of course. He didn't mind paying Paula; without her, he wouldn't have got any money. They drank and toasted one after another until he didn't remember what happened.

He woke up in a woman's apartment, he could tell the way it was decorated, and then as he turned to his left, he saw Paula, ALL of Paula. He wasn't a prude nor a virgin, but usually, he had to know a woman longer than a few weeks before he even thought about sleeping with her. He tried to make his way quietly out of bed, but she reached out, trapping his naked body on top of the covers.

"About time you woke up, we have some unfinished business to attend to" as she proceeded to pleasure him. He wasn't used to women being so forward, but he thought, what the hell, she's enjoying it, so should I. The day passed with Rick missing class for the first time, and Paula being sexually satisfied for the first time she could remember.

He never forgot his one-night, technically one night and the full next-day stand with Paula, but he learned that you can't mix business with pleasure just as his bonus came as the checks began to arrive in the mail. Not only did they fuel his desire to write another bestseller, but they also convinced him that he had to keep things business only with Paula. His roommate finally convinced him to take a night off, it was his girlfriend's birthday, and they were having a surprise party for her. He thought, OK, but I won't stay long.

When they walked in, he spotted her from the back, he had no idea what she looked like until she turned around and there was one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen. Her cocoa skin glistened, and her smile lit up the room. He heard her laugh and it sounded like music to him, and finally, he had enough courage to introduce himself to her.

"Hi, I'm Rick, and your name is?" he held out his hand as he asked gently, not prodding for too much information too quickly,

"Hi Rick, I'm, well my friends call me Allison so why don't you?" he took her hand and gently kissed the back of it, and they weren't apart for the remainder of the evening. Finally, when the party was beginning to break up, he shyly approached her, about spending more time with her,

"Allison, would you like to get a cup of coffee, or tea, or something? "He knew how corny it sounded, but he just wanted to stay in the presence of this woman.

"Rick, does that or something include going back to your place, I would like to be alone with you if you don't mind," she said,

"Of course, I mean, are you sure, I don't want to come on," he was interrupted by her turning into him and kissing him long and deep enough to make his toes curl. He could feel her large breasts against his chest and thought for a moment he was in a perverted dream, until he had to break for air, and she was still there.

They made love like he never had with anyone before, three rounds of pure lust, he was thanking Paula silently for some of the improved techniques she had taught him. If this was heaven he had died and arrived. He fell asleep with his arm around Allison, holding one of her large breasts as she nibbled on his ear. When he awoke, she was gone, all that was left was a note,

Rick, I had to leave, I'm sorry I can't give you more details than that. Please don't try to find me, I hope you know how special you and this night have been to me, I'll see you again, I promise when the time is right,

Allison,

P.S. That was the best lovemaking I have ever had, thank you.

Rick didn't obey her instructions, he looked everywhere and called in favors with every female he had ever helped or tutored, but it was no use. His Allison had disappeared. He went so far as to hire a private investigator, but several weeks and thousands of dollars later, the results were the same. He finally had to forget about her, or at least try.

Current Time

"So, you never found her Dad? How could she just disappear like that?" Alexis asked,

"No, I never did, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her. She was special, in a different way from your Mother, and all the rest. She was nurturing yet strong, and well people ask how well can you get to know someone in 24 hours, I can honestly say, quite a bit." Rick said looking forlornly into the space.

"I'm so sorry Dad, I never knew. I mean I knew about Kyra; Grams filled me in on that time of your life, and how you and my birth mother hooked up. You must have been desperate to date her, hell you moved to Los Angeles for her." Alexis said,

"Well, that was one of many of your father's bonehead moves in life" he laughed, "BUT you know what, no matter the reason, I would do it all again, I got you out of that deal." He pulled her into him, as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"You really mean that don't you Daddy?" She asked,

"Of course, I do pumpkin, your mother was a unique individual, but I don't think she was all bad. She did carry you for nine months, even the last three months from her bed." He replied, trying to paint Meredith in the most positive light, he never mentioned that he had to pay her $5,000, as well as marry her not to abort once she found out she was pregnant.

"Dad, was it because you never got your chance to meet your dad that you were always so active in my life? I can't think of one play, one recital, one anything that I didn't look out into the audience and see you there smiling away." She said.

"Well, I will admit that I did promise to be the father I never had, but I did those things out of love pumpkin. You'll understand someday", not for at least another 25 years, he laughed as he pinched her nose, "but when they place your child into your arms for the first time, it's like a lightning bolt struck you.

"It's love, unconditional love for your helpless little child who depends upon you for everything in life. Then before you know it, she's 16, has a mind of her own, and more of an adult sometimes"

"Most times Daddy" she interrupted,

"Touché, most times darling daughter, and then, one day out of the blur she doesn't need you anymore." He said with a sad look on his face and tears in his eyes,

"Daddy, if you think I don't need you, think again. It's just I need you in different ways than I did when I was little. You told me that if I grew up to be happy, and successful in whatever I chose, then you would have done your job, I never forgot that.

"Dad, you've done your job, but I don't ever see a day when I won't need you, even if it's only for this." She turned and hugged him tightly, once again it was him and his little girl against the world.

"I know pumpkin, and I'll always be here, no matter how much or how little you need me. Gina has stepped up and I know you call her Mom for a reason, she deserves that. Try to understand Meredith, I think she does love you, just in a peculiar way." He said softly,

"I know Dad, Gina told me the same thing. She was my birth mom, the only one I'll ever have so I should try to understand not everyone acts in the same way." She smiled

"Gina told you that. When?" He asked softly

"Remember when you two were first married, and she took me for a girl's day out, I asked her if I could call, her Mom, and that's when she said yes, but only if I tried to understand and forgive Meredith." She said softly.

"Well, Gina is pretty special in her own way, just because we didn't work out as a married couple, she never stopped loving us, all of us," he said, with a smile.

"I know Dad," Hey I gotta get ready Paige is picking me up for a study group, talk to you later Daddy" as he bounded up the stairs.

Rick felt bad about lying to his little girl, BUT he couldn't tell her the truth. He had found "Allison" before he left for Los Angeles. It turned out that Allison was legally Elana Allison Parrish Brooks, and was from a very well-to-do family from Georgia. Her father was a heart surgeon, her mother a surgical nurse, and the first Afro-American woman elected to represent her district in the state senate.

She had dropped the Brooks from her last name to her friends, not wanting special treatment because of her parent's social status, and went by the last name Parrish, her mother's maiden name. She had never been called anything but Lanie, or Lanie Allison when her grandmother was about to discipline her, so she adopted the name.

She had to register under her legal name, which is why Rick or his detectives couldn't find any records of Allison, anywhere. Had they known the legal name of Elana Brooks, which was the name she registered for college under, they would have located her in an all-girls college less than one hour away.

FLASHBACK (Remainder of the story)

It had been two months since the night he spent with the girl known as Allison, he had looked everywhere on and off campus, even neighboring campuses until one night he walked into a karaoke bar and heard her voice. She was singing a song by Heart, All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You, and there was so much emotion, in her voice he felt she was envisioning him.

He took a booth where he could see the stage but not be seen, just in case she was with someone, he would never embarrass her in front of her male friends. She was called up for two encores and finally, as the night wound down, declared that night's karaoke champion. He watched her closely, she was with two other girls, one he recognized from his campus, the other he had never seen.

The two guys that had been hanging around their table left with the other two ladies, as Rick quickly approached her, "Hi, remember me?" was all he said. She looked up from buttoning her jacket and had a look of fear on her face.

"You don't have to be afraid, Allison, or is it Lanie as your friends were calling you? All I want is an explanation." He said as her lip began to quiver, and her body shook,

"Rick, I'm sorry, I do owe you an explanation, but not here, OK? Would you walk with me for a while?" she asked timidly,

Rick was less than enthusiastic, but he needed to know the story, the writer in him, always searching for the story. "OK. But where are we going, I'd like to know that first, it's not that I don't trust you, but I don't trust you." He said,

"I deserve that, I'm sorry, I hope once we talk, you'll understand and well maybe you can forgive me." She said, tears in her voice. My place is two blocks from here, I swear it's not a setup, but you can have it checked out if you still don't trust me.

They walked, Rick resisted the urge to place his arm around or grab the hand of the beautiful lady walking beside him, wondering what on earth could cause her to disappear from him. He knew that it wasn't the lovemaking part of the evening, no girl had ever left him a note describing it as the best that she had ever had then disappeared off the face of the earth.

"Rick, did you find my note, I mean, I'm sorry but I wanted to let you know that you made that night special, you made me special, and well, I hope you understand when you know the whole story." She said, tears in her voice,

"I found your note, and yes it was special Allison or Lanie, what the hell am I supposed to call you? I don't even know that. I mean a fake name, sure I would understand if I had asked for your phone number and you wanted to ditch me quietly, but we didn't have sex, at least to me.

"That was making love, and I can tell you I felt it every time, and I know you did as well. You can fake some things, but not the emotion that was brought out, when I held you in my arms after each session. You were so beautiful, so soft and secure in my arms, your body so relaxed, that I knew I had satisfied you. That's why I was so shocked to find you had gone the next morning" he said, his voice also revealing emotions he was trying to hide.

Rick, call me Lanie, let's start over from there. OK? Yes, I meant every word, and I have never had my body worshiped and brought to the heights you did that night, not ever. I don't know if you work as a professional gigolo, but baby you hit every spot and sent me to heaven." She said,

"Then why did you leave me, Lanie? Can you please answer that?"

"This is my place, Rick, let's go in and yes, I'll answer that question and any more you may have, OK?"

Rick looked up, it wasn't student housing, it was a high-priced condominium that was far above normal college students' means. Another thing to ask, did she have a sugar daddy, could that be why she left," thoughts raced through his mind as he followed her into the upscale condo.

TBC

This is AU and by Request. I tried to incorporate some of the Castle scenes that we all know to add credibility to this story, CRed1988 I hope I came close to what you were asking for, thanks for the story prompt.