sara – Apparently not obvious enough :P
jaiden83 – I agree, it's very important. If you have that kind of person, you can achieve most things, or at least be better able to deal with defeat.
billy – Glad you enjoyed it :)
Willow was sitting on the couch, tapping away spiritedly at her laptop.
She was working on a for-fun assignment from a hacking website to keep herself entertained and distract from the complete lack of incoming emails about employment. Her computer was on its last legs, though, and its slow speeds were adding more frustration to her plate. She'd been practicing a lot of breathing exercises of late.
There had been times when she'd wanted to have a full on tantrum about the lack of focus in her life, but realising she would have to actually act like an adult if she wanted to achieve adult successes sobered her up pretty quickly.
So she sucked it up and just continued to plaster her résumé wherever she could and take the bounced-back rejections on the chin. She had been able to join unemployment forums, so at least she didn't feel like she was on her own in the black hole of joblessness.
Tara was wonderful; comforting and full of encouragement but sometimes will just needed to vent with people who understood the sting of having to read the words 'we have decided that we will not offer you an interview' over and over and over again.
Willow wasn't used to being at the bottom of the pile. She had always been at the top. That was where Tara's reassurances really were a godsend – she was always Tara's top and that gave her just enough confidence to keep the slog going.
That and the occasional dubiously legal adrenaline burst she got when she revisited her old hacking days. She was able to remind herself she was good at something, though did have to quash the accompanying thoughts berating herself for not doing her degree in something related to it.
One thought always won out though, the most comforting one of all.
If I didn't do what I did, I wouldn't have been on that path that day I met Tara.
That always made her smile and set her back on track.
She tapped the trackpad on her laptop impatiently as she waited for a command to follow through, but then had to close the lid of her laptop quickly when Tara appeared from the kitchen. She slid it away so Tara wouldn't see.
Tara was oblivious and just came to sit next to Willow on the couch.
"What?" Willow asked nervously.
"I can't sit next to you?" Tara asked, smiling, "It's your birthday next week."
Willow breathed a sigh of relief and brought her knees up under her chin.
"So?" she questioned.
Tara looked at Willow with that playful frustration that could only pass between best friends and lovers, of which they were both.
"Do you want a party?"
Willow shook her head vigorously.
"No way, I hate parties for me," she said, crossing her arms over her chest, "Plus unemployed people don't deserve parties."
Tara flicked her fingers against Willow's arm.
"If someone else said that about another person you'd jump down their throat."
Willow sighed.
"Sorry, just having my daily mopey moment."
"No luck with the job applications?" Tara asked gently, turning her flicking fingers into a gentle, soothing brush.
Willow shook her head.
"Not. One. Bite."
Tara leaned in and gave Willow a sidelong hug.
"Things will work out how they're supposed to."
Willow turned her head in towards Tara.
"Maybe you can have enough faith for the both of us."
Tara nodded.
"I can do that."
They rested their heads together for a few moments until Tara straightened up again, clearly trying for perkier conversation.
"Okay, no party. What would you like to do?"
Willow shrugged.
"Let's have a beer with Becky and Alice…and I'll invite Brian along too. I don't want a fuss."
"That's all you want to do?" Tara asked unsurely.
Willow, however, was sure.
"Yeah, it is."
"Okay," Tara agreed, deciding she could spoil Willow in little ways, "I have that afternoon off, so I'll come home and cook you a nice dinner."
"How come you have the afternoon off?" Willow queried, since Tara had taken nothing but a few sick days off since she started work.
"I'm getting a pap smear," Tara replied casually.
Willow's face scrunched up.
"Why?"
"My insurance provides it from age 23 and I just got OB/GYN approval," Tara explained, "I just got the appointment."
Willow's brow furrowed.
"Is it a male or female doctor?"
"Would either answer comfort you?" Tara asked, then clarified, "It's a woman."
She saw Willow's eyes dart around and fixed her with a look.
"Do you think I'm going to fall in love with her speculum and run away with her?"
Willow grumbled under her breath.
"No one else has ever seen your pussy before."
"She'll be opening my vagina with an instrument and observing my cervix," Tara corrected pointedly, "Entirely different."
Willow's head bobbed side-to-side, considering it.
"Well, when you put it like that…"
Tara squeezed Willow's arm.
"I'm not going to enjoy it, I promise."
"It does sound…unpleasant," Willow reasoned.
Tara shook her head and sighed.
"Jesus, Willow, my legs will be in stirrups and I'll have a hospital gown on. It's the unsexiest thing I can think of."
"Except you can make anything sexy," Willow countered, then grinned, "Will you play doctor with me sometime?"
Tara pretended to consider it.
"As long as you don't talk about scraping my cervix."
Willow shuddered.
"Speculums always look so…medieval."
Tara eyes cast off in thought.
"I actually had a bad experience with one before. I had bad UTIs when I was a kid and had to go to an urologist who used an adult one on me."
Willow smarted and winced at the same time.
"I never knew that," she said, then swallowed, "I'm sorry, I'm being a jerk. Of course it's just a medical procedure. Is that why you always pee right after sex?"
"Have you ever had a UTI?" Tara asked, and Willow shook her head, "They suck."
Willow's eyes creased with worry.
"Were you okay? Will you be okay this time?"
"Yeah, I think so," Tara nodded, not too worried about the procedure, "My mom took me to Buffalo to see a pediatric urologist and they cleared up after that. I haven't had any pain or anything since."
"I'm glad, hate thinking of you in pain," Willow replied, forcing her mind to push past the other images of Tara being so hurt so young she conjured when she pictured her girlfriend's childhood, "Um, what were we talking about?"
"Your birthday," Tara replied cheerfully, "Okay, so definitely no party but yes to the dinner. Birthday girl's pick, anything you want. What would you like to eat?"
Willow glanced downwards between Tara's legs and started to grin, but it faltered half way.
"Wait, will be able to…? Please say we'll be able to. It's my birthday. It's my divine obligation to make up for me running out on you on my first birthday together by making sure we have amazing birthday sex for now and forever."
"Yes," Tara replied, grinning only slightly at Willow's dramatics, "But not for two days before. Just two days. You'll barely notice."
Willow pouted grumpily, unconvinced. Tara rubbed her arm, palm brushing against her girlfriend's skin.
"I'm sorry, honey. I'll still take care of you."
"It's okay, I'll wait," Willow replied, self-sacrificingly, "It's not the same."
"I'll make it up to you on your birthday…" Tara replied, pressing her fingertips into Willow's collarbone, "Starting with dinner. You're the hardest chick in the world to nail down a meal request."
Willow brushed her fingertips against the exposed collarbone in the V of Tara's shirt.
"You don't usually struggle nailing me."
Tara leaned in so her mouth hovered very close to Willow's neck, breathing hot air over her sensitive skin. There was the barest brush of lips against jaw as Tara moved up to fix Willow with a steely gaze.
"Tell. Me. What. Food. You. Want. To. Eat. On. Your. Birthday."
Willow sat back, curved her lips and crossed her arms over her chest to think very carefully.
"I want…your chicken parmesan," she answered eventually, "With bacon mac'n'cheese. And garlic bread?"
Tara grabbed a notepad from the coffee table and scribbled it down so she could make sure she had the ingredients in the kitchen on the day.
"What about dessert? Will I buy a cake?"
Tara had only baked in Home Economics class in high school, and never thought to do it herself. They were more ice cream lovers when it came to dessert.
Willow shook her head.
"No, they're stupidly expensive for what they are. Ice cream is good. I want an ice cream sandwich with those giant cookies. Chocolate chip. And either Cotton Candy ice cream or Rainbow Sherbet. I'm feeling colourful."
Tara kissed Willow's cheek.
"If my birthday girl wants different coloured ice creams, then my birthday girl will get different coloured ice creams."
"Better than pens," Willow quipped.
She smiled, but then had to think about it for a second.
"Well…at least on par."
Tara sat on the examination table in a medical gown, idly kicking her feet back and forth as she waited for the doctor.
She kept herself occupied by checking out the posters on the wall depicting the female reproductive system. She found it fascinating to think how it all worked and how it was going on inside her all the time.
Minutes ticked by and Tara was wondering if she was in the right room, when the doctor came in, quick on her feet.
"Apologies for the delay," she said, looking all around for something, "Did you fill out a questionnaire?"
"Um, no," Tara replied, shaking her head, "Was I supposed to?"
The doctor put up a finger, left again, but returned promptly with a clipboard.
"I'm surprised that receptionist was able to spell her own name on the job application," she murmured before plopping down on the stool in front of Tara and shook a pen to get the ink going, "Okay, relationship status?"
"In one," Tara confirmed.
"Long term?" the doctor questioned.
Tara nodded.
"Over three years."
The doctor scribbled on the form.
"What age did you get your first period?"
"11," Tara replied without needing to recall.
"Are they regular? Painful?" the doctor prompted.
Tara shook her head.
"Just average. Nothing that bad."
The doctor had to tap the pen again for ink and seemed frustrated by it.
"Are you sexually active?" she asked and continued off Tara's nod, "How many sexual partners have you had?"
"One," Tara replied.
"Any pregnancy history?" the doctor asked, looking up to go off Tara's nodding or shaking head, "Are you on the contraceptive pill? Do you use condoms?"
When Tara shook her head, the doctor lifted an eyebrow.
"Are you comfortable with that decision?"
"Yes," Tara replied with another easy nod.
"Are you seeking to become pregnant?" the doctor questioned.
Tara shook her head and the doctor put the pen down, flabbergasted.
"Then what do you use as a contraceptive?"
"Being gay," Tara answered, very matter-of-fact.
The doctor paused with the barest hint of a smirk on her face. She tried to hide it, but couldn't and offered Tara the form.
"I'll let you fill out the rest of this yourself," she said, tone lighter than it had been since she first arrived.
Tara filled out her history over about five minutes, while the doctor prepared her instruments beside her. Tara handed the clipboard back when she was done and the doctor had a quick skim.
"You had recurrent infections as a child? Do you remember how you were treated?"
"I took some antibiotics for a while and my mom practically funnelled cranberry juice into me," Tara replied, with a hazy memory, "I think I only needed two appointments with the pediatric urologist before they cleared up."
"And no trouble since?" the doctor asked and got a head shake, "Excellent."
She snapped her gloves over her hands.
"This is your first pap, correct?"
She saw the look on Tara's face and offered a reassuring smile.
"Don't be nervous, it shouldn't hurt. Marginally uncomfortable for a moment, but it's a very quick procedure," she promised, "You can put your feet up."
Tara put her feet in the stirrups and opened her legs, with more embarrassment than she anticipated. She breathed evenly to stop herself tightening up and closed her eyes to go to her happy place.
"I'm going to insert the speculum now, okay?"
Tara swallowed and nodded.
"Yeah, okay."
Tara imagined later that evening, having drinks with friends and celebrating Willow's birthday to distract herself. The plastic wasn't cold, but it wasn't warm either and wasn't anything like what it felt like when Willow stretched her. She found herself holding her breath, but was able to release quickly as the speculum was removed and the doctor's head popped up with a smile.
"All done."
Tara closed her legs and sat up carefully, though there was no pain.
"That wasn't too bad."
The doctor trashed her gloves and sealed the sample.
"We'll call you with your results in the next week or so," she said, the clipboard tucked under her arm to be added to the patient file, "I'll leave you alone to get changed."
"Thank you," Tara called after her.
She sat in the spot for a moment, grateful it was all over, then began to redress. She balled up the gown and left it in the trash, then went back out to the reception desk to sign what she needed to sign and get out of there.
She stopped by the store on the way home to get fresh cookies for Willow and while she was there, picked her up some roses. She arrived back at the apartment and presented them to Willow with a smile.
"Happy Birthday."
Willow took them with mock-suspicion.
"Are those supposed to placate me after being with your doctor whore?"
"Willow, don't call someone that, even joking," Tara replied with a tut, "It's rude and misogynistic."
"Hey, no nagging on my birthday," Willow said, then leaned in and pecked Tara's lips, "Thank you baby, they're lovely. How did you get on? You're not walking funny."
"It wasn't that bad," Tara replied with a shrug, "Stingy for a moment but I'm fine now."
Willow put her hands on Tara's shoulders and stood in close.
"I'll kiss you better later."
Tara's wrists crossed behind Willow's neck and turned her head in to kiss her. Willow's hands floated to Tara's hips and pulled in. They parted but stayed where they were, nuzzling noses.
Tara smiled, her lips barely a breath away from Willow's.
"Do you want your birthday present?"
Willow's eyes lit up like saucers.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
Tara pecked Willow again and went off to find her present, hidden in the closet. Willow got her flowers in some water and returned to the couch to wait for Tara.
She returned moments later with a wrapped box and brought it over to the couch.
"I'm afraid it isn't very romantic."
"That's okay, you're hardly deficient in the romance department," Willow replied, sitting by Tara and excitedly taking the gift in her lap.
Willow tore at the packaging and revealed a fondue set.
"You loved the melted chocolate at Becky's party last year," Tara said, unusually unsure about her gift, "Thought you might like to experiment with some different flavours or dips in your down time. Plus I'll never say no if you want to make some chocolate covered strawberries."
Willow felt a pang in her heart and carefully left her present down to throw her arms around Tara.
"It's so thoughtful, and thoughtful is definitely romantic. It's practically an aphrodisiac maker!"
Tara closed the hug.
"Do you like it?"
"I love it," Willow gushed, holding onto Tara tight, "You're gonna regret it when you have to taste all my weird and wild concoctions!"
Tara laughed and pressed a kiss into Willow's neck, then released her.
"Dinner in an hour?"
Willow nodded keenly.
"I've been looking forward to it all day."
"Why don't you play your computer games until it's ready?" Tara suggested and Willow grinned wildly.
"I love birthdays."
Tara held Willow's face delicately and pressed a tender kiss onto her lips. Willow's eyes flickered closed and she felt Tara take a breath with her as they parted. She lightly smacked her lips together to remember it, then she fell back onto the couch and enjoyed the heart flutterings.
She heard Tara start to clatter around the kitchen and knew it wouldn't be long until the great smells started to permeate the room.
Tara laid everything out in its station to achieve maximum cooking efficiency. She started with the chicken parmesan sauce and while that bubbled, she prepared the chicken. She'd pounded and salted it earlier, so all she had to do was coat them and get them on the pan, then put everything together in the casserole dish and smother with cheese.
While that cooked, she moved onto the mac'n'cheese, rinsing out the chicken pan to fry up the bacon bits and the sauce pan to make the new cheese sauce.
The garlic bread went into the oven at the same time as the pasta went into the water, and Tara used the leftover time to clean up everything else. She always liked to have as much done before eating as possible so they could relax after.
She set the table with the special happy birthday napkins she got and poured them both a diet coke. She served the chicken parmesan on their plates and put the garlic bread and mac'n'cheese on dishes between to serve themselves.
She approached the couch and leaned over the arm to kiss Willow's forehead from behind.
"Dinner's up, birthday girl."
Willow saved the game, closed her laptop and jumped up, her mouth watering as she approached the table.
"Yum, yum, yum!"
Tara held Willow's seat out for her and Willow sat into the table with a big smile. She took generous servings of the sides and started to dig in.
"Tara, this is so good. How come your mac'n'cheese is so much better than mine?"
Tara smiled as she speared some the salad she'd put on her own plate with her fork.
"Because mine doesn't come out of a box."
"Right," Willow replied, bobbing her head along, "And it isn't bright orange. And you know, I'm perfectly okay with that."
They leaned towards each other and met in the middle for a kiss, then continued on with their meal.
Willow finished the last of the garlic bread my mopping up the chicken parmesan sauce, then sat back with her hands over her belly.
"That…was amazing."
Tara took the plates to clear.
"Do you want first dessert?"
"Um, yes," Willow replied eagerly, "I always want dessert."
Tara got the ice cream out to soften and rinsed their dishes while she waited. She got two decent scoops onto the large cookie, then sandwiched it with another one. She brought it to Willow, whose eyes glazed over.
"Whoa…I think we're going to have to share this one!"
Tara scooted closer to Willow and they fed each other the cookies and ice-cream off a shared spoon. Tara fed Willow the last bite, then dabbed her lips with a napkin.
Willow loved the attention.
She settled back in the chair and got a curious look on her face.
"Hey, what's second dessert?"
Tara just offered a sultry crooked smile.
"You'll find out later."
Willow felt the ice-cream's cool vestige turn to simmering heat. Her hands pressed into her stomach and she forced herself to take in a deep breath right down to her abdomen.
Tara hummed as she waltzed off to load the last of the dishwasher.
"Do you want me to wear anything in particular tonight?"
Willow shook her head.
"Wear what you're in if you want. Be comfortable. Just wear pants in case we play pool. I'm not in the mood to fend off wayward stares to defend your honour."
Tara glanced at Willow sceptically as she dried her hands.
"Hmm, and will I have to defend your honour with your friend?"
"He didn't know we were together," Willow defended Brian, whom she'd been having fun afternoons with watching fantasy shows and playing games on his Xbox, "He hasn't tried anything like that since."
Tara folded her arms and considered her words carefully.
"It's nice for you to have a real life friend that's…"
"A dork," Willow finished.
"An enjoyer of similar interests," Tara corrected, "But some guys treat being gay as a challenge."
"He's not like that," Willow replied insistently, "I bet you'll really like him when you get to know him."
Tara held up her hands.
"Okay, I'm sure you're right."
"I am, for once," Willow said surely, then grinned, "That's usually your domain."
"Ha, ha," Tara replied with a playful roll of her eyes, "I'm going to get changed."
She went into the bedroom and stepped out of the grey sweats she'd worn to the doctor's office. They were comfortable but she could at least snazz herself up with nice jeans and a blouse for Willow's birthday, even though she wouldn't have minded switching into pyjamas for evening.
She reached into the back of the closet for something and put it on, then dressed in the clothes she picked out. The blouse was blue, fitted and smart with a low V, one she liked to wear to tantalise Willow.
She touched up her make-up and tied her hair up, just because she knew Willow would enjoy taking it down later.
When she came back out, Willow had her feet up, listening to music and playing on her phone. Willow looked up and smiled.
"You look lovely. I love that blouse. Just enough cleavage to get my mind going."
Tara came and sat next to Willow.
"The feminist in me wants to say I don't dress for anyone but myself."
"You can be a feminist and still dress for your woman," Willow replied sagely, "The feminism is in the choice."
Tara smirked.
"In that case, I totally wore this for you."
"And I love you for it," Willow replied, leaning over to peck Tara's lips.
Their arms crossed and fingers linked, while Tara leaned her head down against Willow's shoulder.
"Is this Earth, Wind & Fire? You've been playing them all the time lately."
Willow threw her other hand out dramatically.
"Would you mind… if I looked into your eyes till I'm hypnotized, and I lose my pride?" she sang off-key, "Would you mind if I make love to you till I'm satisfied?"
She dropped her arm and bent it behind her head.
"You can tell it was written by a guy. He wants to make love until he's satisfied."
Tara flicked her hand against Willow's chest.
"Don't generalise."
"What did I tell you about nagging on my birthday?" Willow repeat, swinging her legs up to catch Tara's, "Quit it or I'll make you my captor."
Tara didn't resist, just grinning slightly instead.
"You look like you're trying to scissor me."
Willow frowned.
"I never really got that. There are much easier ways to rub pussies and you get to touch other places too."
"We should bring that up at the next meeting," Tara replied with mock-seriousness.
Willow grabbed the couch pillow and threw it across at Tara, who grabbed it and shifted herself on top of Willow. She smothered her for a few seconds, then lifted the cushion.
"Who's in charge now?"
"Let's settle this the old fashioned way, shall we?" Willow challenged, "Thumb war."
Tara offered her thumb and their fingers linked to form the base. They played a spirited game with lots of back and forth until finally Willow pinned Tara's thumb and threw her fist up triumphantly.
"Yes!"
"Drat," Tara said, not too cut up.
Willow eyed Tara suspiciously.
"Did you let me win because it's my birthday?"
"Of course not," Tara replied in a tone that Willow couldn't figure out, though she didn't care much when Tara followed it up with a kiss.
Willow held Tara's face and gently suckled her bottom lip, making it plump. Their kiss was slow and sensual and Willow could feel it deep in her core. Their lips stilled and Willow's eyes flickered open at the same time as Tara.
Her fingers brushed against Tara's cheek and her breath hitch when Tara's eyes bore into her soul.
They stayed like that for several moments, then Tara smiled, left one last lingering kiss on Willow's lips and pulled them both up to sitting.
"Will we go down the street and wait for everybody at the bar?"
Willow swallowed a few times to get some moisture back in her mouth and shook herself together.
"Yeah, yeah. Sure. Just, um, let me go to the bathroom."
She pushed herself off the couch, went in to the bathroom and splashed her face, smiling as she thought of the power Tara had over her.
Totally hypnotised…
And she totally loved it.