Baby You Can Stop Running
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Chapter Nineteen

Bella's POV

I pulled my truck into the deserted parking lot, my eyes looking around and scanning my surroundings; the ground was wet from the night's rain, and the dark clouds seemed to tell a story of impending rain on the way, most of the trees had lost their leaves, a sure sign that winter and colder weather was fast approaching. Winter. It had been another year that passed by in a blur and still I was no more accomplished than I had been before. Still, maybe things would be different this year, I mean, I was back in Forks, I was facing my past, the one thing that I figured I would never do.

Everything around me was quiet and I couldn't help but wonder if this was a common occurrence on weekend mornings. I tried to rack my memories from my weekends in high school while I lived here but they told me nothing, back then even I slept until nine or ten. Perhaps most liked to stay inside, secure in the warmth and comfort of their beds instead of walking about the cold town. Even the 101 was quiet, a few trucks passing every so often as they drove to the outskirts of town, most likely on their way to scout out their morning and evening fishing location on the Hoh River. I turned the key and shut the engine off before leaning against the leather of the bench seat, my head turning to the side so I could take a look at the building.

I could see his car parked around the side and I knew that there was no backing out of this now. There was no other option, and as much as I wanted to believe that there was, it just wasn't possible. But, was it too soon? Was I doing the right thing? I mentally cursed myself for driving here, I should have just gone to the hospital, at least I would have been comfortable there. I was out of my element here, my insides pulled me in so many different directions that I didn't know what to do, where to go, what to say. I just knew that Jacob had the right to know that he had a daughter somewhere out there in the world. And I knew I had to tell him before I came clean to Edward about my past, even if I didn't owe him that much, it would be the one right thing that this situation would have created.

I sucked in a deep breath before I opened the door, and stepped out into the cold. The weather was changing quickly and I placed a mental bet that there would be snow soon, and I cursed myself for not packing a heavier coat. The clouds had emitted a misty rain and it stuck to my hair and face as I began to walk towards the building, being careful to avoid any puddles that might send me falling backwards, but I stopped when I saw the familiar bikes resting outside with a For Sale sign tied onto them. He was selling our bikes.

I was surprised that the simple act would affect me the way that it had. I felt my throat close slightly, and I struggled with the next breath. My eyes began to water, and they burned against my warm cheek as they mixed with the cool while running down my cheeks. Those bikes had been important to us, part of our relationship and he was just selling them. It was as though he wanted to forget that we had ever existed. I wasn't in love with Jake anymore, but the bikes were more than just our intimate relationship, they were symbolic of the close friendship that we had forged before things became complicated. My hand touched the chipping red paint of the bike that use to be my own as a few tears escaped from the corners of my eyes.

I took a step back and a deep breath, trying to ignore the pain that my heart was feeling. I was confused beyond anything else. These feelings for Jake were something that I had long ago buried and standing there, my eyes looking at the bikes that we once spent weeks fixing… I realized for the first time that I didn't just lose a boyfriend, all those years ago, but I also lost my best friend, because above all else, Jake had always been my best friend. Would we ever be able to move past everything and become friends once again? I wasn't sure and my heart hurt at the possibility of that.

I gathered my emotions and opened the side door, slipping in and looking around. A light came from an office off to the side and I thought I heard the sounds of someone talking; someone who sounded distinctly like Jake. Quietly, I walked over and watched as he hung his head in the chair before slamming the phone back down on the cradle and letting out a low growl of frustration. Even with everything that had transpired between us, I felt bad for whatever it was that had him so upset.

I raised my hand and knocked lightly on the wooden door.

"Leave me alone Sam!" He shouted, his voice heavy and I could tell that he probably hadn't slept much.

I knocked again.

"I said leave me the fuck alone Sam!"

I turned the handle and stepped in before speaking, his head whipping around and his cheeks paled when he saw that it was me. "I'm sorry."

"Bella…" The strength in his voice was gone and he spoke almost in a whisper. He stood up and walked towards me, his hand touching my shoulder as though he wasn't sure that I was really there. "Bella… What are you doing here?" His eyes were glazed over, as though he had been fighting back tears and I realized that I hadn't seen him cry since his mother had passed, and even then he had tried hard to hide it from me.

"There are some things that were left unsaid… And I guess things that you should know." I replied, shifting my weight from my left foot to my right as I looked down at the ground, unable to met his eyes. I was afraid of what I might see and I was afraid of how I would react to it. It was a strange feeling standing there in front of him; on one hand I was almost happy, and I hoped that we could move past this and find a common friendship again and yet, the other was still so hurt that I wanted to cry. I realized, for the first time, that the pain of his reaction was not because he, as a boyfriend, had rejected me, but rather, as a friend, as my best friend.

"Bella I'm so glad you came back." His hand reached forward and cupped my chin, tugging my face up so I could see the look in his eyes. "I'm so glad."

"I'm not here to get into another romantic relationship with you Jake… My heart can't take that again, but there are things you need to hear and I'd appreciate it if you just let me talk until I get it all off my chest." I started and he nodded so I continued. "It won't take long. I just thought you should know that you have a daughter."

"Where?" He stuttered and I looked up to see the confused expression on his features.

"A family that lived in Southern California adopted her… I couldn't raise a child on my own, I knew that it wouldn't have been fair for her and well… You had made it pretty clear that you didn't want anything to do with her." A few traitor tears escaped from my eyes and I quickly brushed them away.

"Bella you have no idea how much I regret that." He moved closer to me now, his hand resting on my cheek but I pulled away, I didn't want him to think that things could ever go back to how they once were. It was impossible; too much had been done to even imagine that could be the case. "I hate myself for what I have done." He paused for a moment and I saw that his eyes were brimming with tears once more. "I've missed you Bella."

"You could have called Jake…"

"I wanted to. So many times Bella but I didn't think you would want to hear from me and I don't hold that against you."

"The thing is Jake, regardless of whether or not I would have wanted to talk to you, I needed you there and you weren't." I looked back down towards the floor, trying to find the courage to continue and I realized that for once in my life, it wasn't that hard to find. "You were my best friend Jake and you abandoned me when I needed you the most. I thought for such a long time that I was as upset as I was because you were my boyfriend but that wasn't it. I didn't lose a boyfriend, those can come and go, but I lost the best friend that I had ever known, and that was what hurt the most."

"I know what I did was wrong Bella…"

"You're right. It was wrong."

"We can start over again. We were good together Bella… We can be good together again."

"I don't love you like that Jake, not anymore…"

"How can you say that?"

"Because I know, I can feel that I don't love you in that capacity and I don't think I ever did." His jaw slacked and I saw the hurt flash across his eyes. "You were comfortable Jake, but I'll never be able to trust you again and you can't love someone that you can't trust."

"Let me try and make it up to you."

"Too much time has passed. You had five years to make things better but you didn't. Nothing can change that. I'm not saying we can't be friends in time, but right now, I need a clean break from you. I just thought you should know the truth, that you should know that you do have a daughter."

"Bella…" He was pleading now but I took a step back towards the door.

"Goodbye Jake." I took one last look at him before walking out and back to the truck. I could hear him calling after me but I didn't turn around, I knew that if I did that things would have been different, that I would have given him a hope that things could have gone back to how they once were and as much as I would have liked to be cruel to him, I couldn't bring myself to do that. It would have gone against my own nature.

I started the truck and pulled out of the deserted parking lot, my eyes glancing at the rearview mirror, taking in Jake's large frame as he grew smaller and smaller, the truck taking me to the one person who I longed to see after all this, the one person that made me feel whole.

Edward's POV

"What are you doing here?" Her quiet voice sang through the room and I turned to watch as she walked in. I felt my jaw slack a little as I took her in; it seemed that each time I let myself gaze upon her she only grew more attractive. Was that possible? My own memory was not sufficient enough to contain her beauty; it was both amazing and annoying. My eyes took in her jeans, the way they hugged her hips tightly, her green, long sleeve henley was unbuttoned just enough to see the top curves of her breasts and I felt my heart begin to race as my thoughts became cluttered.

"I-I was just checking on Charlie." I stuttered as she came over and sat down in the chair next to mine. The scent of freesia's overwhelmed my senses as she neared closer to me and I closed my eyes as I took deep breaths trying to smell as much of her as I possibly could. Memories of holding her in the night clouded my new thoughts and all I wanted to do was grab her hand and pull her towards me, to press my lips against her soft, supple, plump lips. There goes the imagination again. This must be what it's like to have attention disorder, around her I'm completely unable to concentrate on anything. Anything but her that is.

"How is he?"

Instinctively I brought my hand to my face, pinching the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger as I struggled about whether I should tell her about his minor heart attack. He had come through alright, was it worth it to worry her about something so trivial right now? Since then, he had more than stabilized and his vitals looked good once again. I felt my brow wrinkle and my lips pull into a tight line.

"He's much better." I stated, not completely lying but her eyes on me told me that she didn't believe that I was telling the whole truth. I turned to face her, reaching forward and taking one of her hands in my own. It was small and warm and like every time that our skin made contact I was filled with an electricity that I had never known before and I didn't want to let go of it, I could die a happy man if she were holding my hand. "There was an incident early this morning that I read about… I'm not sure why you weren't notified but I'm going to speak to Carlisle about it immediately. But I promise you that he's better, that he's stable."

She was biting her lower lip and I suppressed a groan as I began to think of her lips and every place that I would want them. I watched as the anxiety came across her face as she looked towards Charlie's sleeping body. He would probably sleep the majority of the day after the kind of night that he had. I was certain that his body was exhausted and sleep would be good for him, it would help his body heal. Though there were complications, I was becoming fairly certain that he would pull through; he was a strong man and he had more to look forward to than ever before with Bella back in his life.

"Edward…" Her voice was low but she kept her hand in my own though her eyes were cast to the floor. I reached over towards her and cupped her chin softly in my hand, careful as I touched the white bandage that obscured the stitches, and lifted her gaze up to my own. I could see the tears as they swam in the deep chocolate pools of her eyes and I felt as though my heart might break as I watched her fight back the tears in her eyes. Though I hated to see her cry, I wanted to tell her that it would be okay, that she could cry, that it was normal to be upset when something like this was happening, but I couldn't bring myself to utter the words, afraid that if I did, I too might find myself blinking back tears of my own. I wanted her to have a life different than my own, I wanted Charlie to come through so she would never know what it would be like to have a parent ripped violently from her life.

"Bella it's okay…" I whispered, rubbing small circles on the back of her hand.

"Be honest with me… Is he going to come out of this?"

I moved my chair closer to hers, my legs between her own as I reached up and began to stroke the softness of her cheeks, occasionally wiping a few of her traitor tears as they fell from the corners of her eyes.

"I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that he will." I said, keeping her head up so that I was looking directly into her eyes, I wanted to convey the truth in my words and that was the only way I knew how to. "I promise you Bella, I will do everything in my power to make sure that he does. I wish I could give you a definitive answer but I can't. But I promise that I will do whatever I can."

"It's late for him to still be sleeping." She commented, and I realized that she wanted to change the subject slightly.

"He'll probably sleep most of the day. Like I said, he had a bit of a rough night." She nodded and leaned forward, her forehead pressing against my shoulder. "Do you want to get out of here for a little while?" She nodded against me and pulled away letting me stand up. I moved away from her slightly giving her enough room before I tightened our arms to pull her to her feet as well.

"Where are we going?" She asked, squeezing my hand, setting my heart into a new series of palpitations.

"Just a place I like to go when I feel like I need to be alone, when I need to clear my head." I whispered into her ear before ushering her into my Volvo and heading North on the 101 to head into the Olympic National Forest.

Bella's POV

He drove to the end of a trail and parked the Volvo off to the side while I did everything I could to suppress the groan that was building at the back of my throat. We had to hike? Hadn't he figured out that even stable floors and I were not a good combination? I looked over my shoulder at him and noticed that he was just sitting there, his eyes focused on something in the distance before he noticed my staring and turned to look at me, his crooked smile playing on his lips and I forgot to breathe.

"Breathe Bella." He chuckled as he shook his head. "Are you ready?"

"Where exactly are we going?" I replied, breathless as I felt his hand reach over and brush my hair behind my ear.

"I really hate it when your hair covers your face." He mused for a moment. "We have a few miles to walk, we should get started."

I heard his door slam, and looked over to see that he was now standing in front of the car, his eyes looking into the unbroken forest. I followed suit and walked up next to him, my shoulder brushing against his side and he looked down at me and smiled, his green eyes sparkling with a look that I had not seen from him before.

"What?"

"We match." He laughed and I appraised his clothing; dark jeans and a long sleeve green shirt that peaked out from his cream colored sweater. I laughed with him for a moment while trying to hide the secret twinge of regret – why did he have to look like a runway model when I couldn't, even when we wore something so completely similar?

"This way." He said, taking a few steps ahead of me before glancing over his shoulder to look where I was still standing. He was heading into the forest though he wasn't taking the trail that was marked, an action that more than confused me. What if we got lost?

"The trail?" My voice quivered as I began to move my feet to catch up with him.

"I won't let you get lost. I've been here many times, I know where we are going." He turned to look down at me, a smirk on his face and I tried hard not to gasp at his beauty. He reached down and pulled his sweater off his head taking the bottom of his shirt with him allowing me to see the hard contours of his chiseled stomach, the v that connected his legs to his hips. For the first time, his perfect musculature was no longer merely hinted at behind concealing clothes but open for my own eyes. He was too perfect. Whatever his pull was to me, it would never last; there was no possible way that a creature as godlike as he could ever be meant for someone as plain as myself. My cheeks flushed as he looked down at me and noticed my staring.

"Do you want to go home?" He was quiet and quickly adverted his eyes from my own and looked back towards the trees as though he was trying to remember what direction to go.

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not a very good hiker. You'll have to be very patient."

"I'm a doctor. I can be patient – if I make a great effort." He smiled and I tried to smile back as I lifted my legs carefully over a fallen log covered with a thick, light green moss. "I'll take you home."

"No!" I said with more force than was probably necessary. I wanted to be here, alone, with him. I wanted to see this place that he was speaking of; his private escape that he was sharing with me. "I don't want to go home. How far is it?"

"About two miles."

"Well, if you want me to hack two miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way."

"I said I'd take you home." He frowned but I just shook my head and urged him forward.

It wasn't as hard as I had feared. The way was mostly flat and when the ferns had grown over past the trees, he had been kind enough to hold them back, so they would not create even more of an obstacle for me than it would have been. When his straight path took us over fallen trees or boulders, he would help me, lifting me by the elbow, and then releasing me instantly when I was clear. I couldn't help but frown when he let go and I wondered if he noticed. All I wanted to do was touch him, to feel his hands upon me like they had been as he held me during the night.

We walked in abject silence for the most part, a chasm had formed between the two of us since the morning that I couldn't understand, and I wondered if it had anything to do with Charlie. Still, I tried to ignore it, tried to savor the fact that we were alone, miles away from civilization and no one could find us. Every now and then he would ask a random question, something about my past, about college, about Renee, about growing up in both Forks and Phoenix and I would answer.

The walk took a few hours because of my slower pace though he didn't complain and I took notice as I watched the colors of the forest change as the sun seemed to appear out of nowhere. It had been such a cloudy morning that it seemed that the sun would never have poked through, yet somehow, it had. I was thankful for that, amongst everything that had been going on, with the truth of what I'd been through over the past few days, the sun was exactly what I needed and I was thankful to be experiencing it with Edward.

We reached the edge of the path and through the trees; there lay the loveliest place that I had ever seen before in my life. The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with a few wildflowers that had yet to be killed from the winter chill. Somewhere, nearby, I could hear the bubbling of a small stream, probably carrying the icy cold water from the top of the Olympic mountains. The sun was directly overhead, and it filled the circle with a haze of sunshine that felt warm against my cool skin. I walked slowly through it, heading towards the center, my jaw slacked with wonderment. I turned to my side, wanting to share this with him but he wasn't there, he wasn't behind me like I had thought he was and as I strained my eyes I saw him standing beneath the canopy of trees on the edge of the meadow, a small smile upon his lips as he watched me.

"It's beautiful Edward." I whispered as I took a few steps forward to him, holding my hand out, beckoning him to join me. His face broke into the most beautiful smile that I had ever seen, obviously proud of himself for his discovery, and he was by my side in a matter of moments. I couldn't advert my eyes from him, the way he seemed to glow in the sunlight as he walked towards me.

Had I thought he was beautiful before, nothing compared to Edward in the sunlight. The way his bronze hair caught the rays of sunlight, the way his pale, almost translucent skin seemed to shimmer as the light hit it. I tried hard not to gasp, but it was too difficult not too. God was showing off when he created him, no doubt, because there wasn't a single thing about him that wasn't perfect. It wasn't fair. I didn't belong here, with him, though I knew there was no way that I could pry myself from him, not knowing that he wanted me there. Still though, I couldn't help but wonder why.

"It's pretty, that's for sure, though I'm not sure I would call it beautiful if compared to you." He whispered against my ear, as my body shivered involuntarily at his breath against my neck.

He pulled away and lowered himself to the ground, placing his sweater behind his head to use as a pillow. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt straining against his chest and I could do nothing but stare at him. I followed suit, though instead of laying I merely sat cross legged next to him. I would have liked to lie back, as he did, and let the sun warm my face, but I stayed curled up, my chin resting on my knees. I was completely and totally unwilling to take my eyes off of him, I was almost certain that it was a dream, that he was a dream. Human perfection could not exist anywhere else, he couldn't possibly be real. The meadow that was once so spectacular to me, faded next to his splendor.

I reached forward and brushed my fingers against his hand, watching as the smile stretched across his pink lips. Since he appeared to not mind, I moved closer, stretching out my whole hand to trace the contours of his forearm with my fingertips which were trembling. Though we had shared a bed I had not touched him like this, this was almost intimate, as though I were trying to memorize every line of his body for fear that I might never see him again.

"Do you mind?" I whispered as his eyes closed.

"No." He sighed, the faint smile still there on his lips. "You can't imagine how that feels."

With a new found confidence I became more forward, trailing my hand over the perfect muscles of his arm, touching the crease of his elbow before turning his hand over and lightly running my fingers on the lines that creased the palm of his hand.

"Tell me what you're thinking." He whispered one eye open and looking at me. "I've always been good at reading people but I can't read you at all. It's so strange for me."

"You should know that's how I feel when I look at you."

"It's a hard life." He smirked. "But you didn't tell me."

"I was thinking that I wish I knew what you were thinking…" I hesitated and watched as he turned onto his side, his elbow propping him up so we were almost at eye level, his eyes burning into me. "You just seem…"

"I seem?"

"I don't know. You're so infuriating sometimes." I groaned. "Like back at the car. Sometimes you are so sweet and other times, you look at me as though you wish I didn't care for you."

"That's because I wish you didn't care for me." He replied, his eyes casting down towards the ground. "It would be easier that way."

"What would be easier Edward? What are you so afraid to tell me about?"

"I'm not good for you Bella."

"Why do you say that?" I groaned.

"Can you do something for me before I answer that?"

"I'm not sure. What do you want?" His eyes flickered back up to me, taking me by surprise. There was an intensity behind them that I could not remember seeing before.

"I just… I want to try something." He was quiet and I wasn't sure I heard him properly, but I felt him remove his hand from mine as he placed it on the back of my head, his fingers tangled in the locks of my long hair as his face inched closer to my own. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest with anticipation as I watched him move onto his knees, his other now free hand moving to my back, pulling me closer towards him. My instincts gave him a response as my arms wrapped around his neck, and he crushed his lips onto my own…

A/N:

Hmm… Sorry for ending it there but I thought I'd give it some dramatic flair! ANYWAYS… Was this what you were expecting? Did you like it? I'm actually quite pleased with the chapter as a whole, though this one, like the previous one, took about four drafts before I finally was happy with it.

So… You've FINALLY gotten your kiss… And if you couldn't tell… Edward is going to come clean first… I think… His story is a little more prominent than Bella's especially as it's going to be part of the climax… At least, his past is going to come back and kick him in the butt… But if you understood the plot line that I'm following I'm sure you already know that.

As always, thank you to my lovely readers! All of you who continue to add this story to your alerts/favorites are amazing! And an extra special thanks to all you who stroke my ego by leaving me some of the most fantastic reviews that I think I have ever gotten!

Thank you to:
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Seriously guys, you all are amazing! Thank you!

I'd also like to thank the Community group: As Human as You and Me for adding my story to their archive.

So this is my update before the movie… I hope you all have a fantastic time watching it… Like I said just a few moments ago, I have totally reverted to the tween fan girl each and every time I see the damn preview… I'm so excited. I'm hoping it's great! Though I'm also hoping to not have to deal with lots of rabid fan girls because I want to actually be able to watch the movie and not only hear screaming! *fingers crossed*

Anyways, I hope that you liked this chapter! I'm curious to see if I can break my record of 25 reviews for one chapter though there isn't any pressure at all. I'm just curious!

I'm working now on top of school… I've finally found a job and the store actually opens this weekend and I've got a Constitutional Law paper due on Monday so I'm not sure when the next update will be, though if I get reviews I'll definitely try to get something out much quicker!

Thank you all!