Selective mutism: where a person is unable to speak in certain situations and/or to certain people. Deputy Rookie, commonly known as Rook, read the sentence from the book called Neurodivergency in Adulthood which they had found in an abandoned house. They were sitting inside a white-painted van that once belonged to a random peggie. Rook was ordered to go and rescue a few locals but they were stuck on reading instead, forgetting their duty altogether. Rook read the following:
'Mutism isn't only about talking. It's about fear of failure and humiliation. It's about finding alternative ways to communicate. It's about patience.'
Rook nodded in agreement. They kept on reading a couple of pages. One sign symptom was the most relatable to them: talkative in one moment and quiet in the next once a person outside of their comfort zone joins in. Rook placed the book on their lap and watched outside. Rook realised they had no people to open up to in Hope County. There was no comfort zone. They wanted to talk with someone but now everybody thought Rook was completely mute. If they talked, would others react negatively? Call them a liar? The radio picked a signal and Rook took it onto their hand. It was Dutch.
"Hey kiddo, are you forgetting something?" an unnecessary pause, "you were supposed to be by that damn lake by now."
Oh, geez. Right, the rescue mission. Rook started the car and began driving. It was probably too late and the locals had been blissed or drowned already. Rook let out a frustrated sound. The drive would take about 10 minutes without any obstacles on the way. If there was a roadblock, then it was about 15 or 20 minutes. Rook was always prepared for various scenarios but life was full of surprises and peggies would pop up whenever they liked. Honestly, nothing more infuriated Rook than uncalled surprises. They focused on the road.
"Okay, take a left turn..."
Suddenly, the radio buzzed and a familiar sinister voice came through.
"Dep-u-ty, you are trespassing my territory once again. Whatever you are planning, I must warn you I have placed my Chosen in the area I'm betting you're driving on."
Rook tensed up. "Not now, John..." they said to themselves.
"Once I catch you, I will make you pay for destroying that sign... You will face pain worse than a flaming hellfire. You will reach Atonement a hard way but don't worry... I won't let you die," John spoke with venom. He kept ongoing. "Buuut, if you say Yes now and come willingly, your punishment won't be the harshest. You still have a chance, Deputy."
Rook shook their head. It's the same old rhyme each time, it never changes. It's like John wasn't even trying to convert Rook to his side anymore but to only threaten. Wait, did they miss a turn by now?
"I pray my words are not falling to deaf ears since you never answer, do you? Are you so full of Pride that speaking to us is asking too much? You're not only wrathful. You look down upon us, think we're mad and deserve to be taken down. You're not above God, Rook."
There was a roadblock ahead and a few peggies waiting for them. They fired the bliss bullets and Rook had to make a sharp U-turn. They were running out of time. Rook blamed John for it. They wanted to toss the radio out of the van but then they wouldn't have anything to contact others. Well, others wouldn't have anything to contact Rook.
"You are a heretic. A paganistic heathen...," John was heating up as he went on, "Sometimes, I ask myself why The Father wants you. Whatever he sees in you, I struggle to understand," a deep sigh, "Yet, I won't go against his orders. Joseph's word is God's will and He works in mysterious ways."
Rook drove the vehicle off the road to hide behind bushes and trees. They turned it off and slammed their head on the wheel. Forget the rescue, it was too late. Rook wanted to shout and go take a nap. But there was still so much work to be done and John motherfucking Seed was not going to shut up.
"I just received an interesting report which said you have driven away from the lake. Did you finally realize how futile it is to rescue already dead sinners, Deputy? What a pity. You were tooooo slow."
That was the last drop. Rook took the radio and pressed the talk button. It made a sound and suddenly Rook felt there was a lump in their throat. Only their breathing could be heard. Their hand was shaky. Rook gave up and released the button. It seemed like John had already left the one-sided conversation and didn't notice anything.
"... You wanted to say something. Please, don't back down and talk to me. I will forgive you, I won't punish you the way I said I would," John spoke gently after a moment of silence. He sure changed his tone in record time. Rook stared at the radio. They pressed the button again. What made this so hard? Rook swallowed and moved their tongue. "I'm...," but the lump was there again. Rook closed their mouth and released the button. Nearly a minute had passed and John hadn't said a word. Rook thought that the man had finally given up and went to baptise or something. They relaxed in their seat yet they found themselves feeling embarrassed and angry. Rook pressed the button for the last time. This was meant for practice. Rook took a breath and cleared their throat.
"I'm not good at talkin' so... don't. Over." Period. It was a great start. At least they got the truth out. Next time Rook could attempt to say it out loud. Or they could write a note first and give it to people. The radio buzzed and Dutch was on.
"Kid, what happened? I heard ya ditched the mission. I hope you're doing fine. Those damn peggies are blocking every road they see but we know they cannot stop ya, Rook. Go to Fall's End to get back up if needed. Don't turn this into a habit though. There are innocent people involved in this mess so every rescue matters. Dutch, out."
"Fucking hell...," Rook cursed. They were overwhelmed, stressed out and ready to walk out into the woods and find a hole to die in. The book they had read moments earlier was lying on the other seat. If only they had not picked that book, they wouldn't have been distracted. Rook was scratching their face a little too harsh now. There will be scars the next day.
"Ugghhh, fuck me, what do I do," Rook whined. They turned on the car radio to find something soothing to listen to. A basic country-rock song blasted through, the genre which symbolised the Resistance and the peggie-free Hope County. Rook was not in the mood for it. They switched the channel. It was another country song but it was by Eden's Gate. Let the Water Wash Away Your Sins. How fitting for John Seed's region. Rook didn't want to admit it but the song was soothing their mind and was pleasant to the ears. This thought scared them and Rook quickly switched to a different channel. Again, the song was by Eden's Gate and it was worse. It was catchy and cheerful but it was literally written for JOHN SEED and how amazing he was. Rook was sure enjoying these songs meant trouble and it worried them that they even liked the music. Yet, there was no one else present. They could listen and others wouldn't know. Rook allowed the car radio to stay on for now.
They ended up listening to another cult song and another after that. One sounded like a Johnny Cash song which warned listeners about Jacob and the other was about Joseph's life. What a rebel they were, preferring Christian music over rock. After a song titled Oh the Bliss ended, Rook turned off the car radio and stepped outside to breathe fresh air. Yes, they failed one mission, but right now it didn't feel like a big deal anymore. As Rook turned around, they were met face-to-face with a dazed peggie mouth open. Rook froze. Uh-oh.
"Y-you... You were listening to our songs!" The peggie declared. Rook shook their head. The peggie took a step forward. "Yes, yes, you were and I can see how they made you feel... You like 'em, don't you? I-I honestly thought you were one of us, passed out in this van and I came to check and... oh, I wasn't excepting to meet a sinner as known as you, Wrath. But this could be a sign!"
Rook flipped a handgun out of their pocket and pointed it at the peggie. This was a huge misunderstanding. Rook couldn't let this random peggie go. The peggie raised his hands in the air. "H-hey, I won't tell your friends! I won't, I swear. It's okay, I understand... I don't know your name - no one knows - but I want you to follow me, Deputy. Come with me, to meet brother John. H-he can help, and give you guidance in your situation."
Rook shook their head again. They had to shoot him. There was no choice. They pulled down the trigger and the bullet flew into the peggie's skull. He fell down flat on the ground. Rook's breathing was heavy. They looked around to scan the area. What if there were more of them? What if someone overheard and ran off to tell? Rook wiped the sweat off their forehead and went to sit down on a rock. They were anxious. It didn't mean anything, they were not a cultist, and they were not joining Eden's Gate. Still, Rook knew they were unable to explain themselves. Unless somebody would give them a piece of paper to write an apology letter. 'Sorry for liking the peggie songs, I was having a shitty day and rock n' roll wasn't doing it for me'. The radio buzzed inside the jacket. Rook flinched. They took it out and prepared for the worst.
"My child, may I have a word with you?"
It was a whole different voice than what Rook had waited for. It was none other than Joseph Seed. He had never spoken to them directly until now. This was not good at all. Their breathing had stopped. Joseph continued despite the lack of an answer.
"I sense that you are there. It has come to my knowledge that you have shown... interest in our project. One of my followers told me what they had witnessed and right before it, my little brother John contacted me to tell me he heard you speak for the first time. I couldn't let this opportunity to reach you pass."
Rook was devastated. They had been too reckless and acted in a way which only had made Joseph more determined to turn them into a peggie. Joseph preached.
"I want you to know that we are not the enemy. We are here to help you. Whatever reason has sparked your curiosity doesn't matter. What matters is that you have heard us and you have reached out to listen to more of our word."
Rook stood up and walked around the rock frantically while Joseph kept on speaking.
"You're not a lost soul without salvation. I knew it the moment we met. You're not like your friends who are blinded by their sin. They refuse our help, they refuse to listen. They are the enemy, Rook. Have you ever stopped to wonder if you're fighting for the wrong side? And perhaps you have... and it scares you. It's alright, you are allowed to be scared."
Rook placed the radio close to their face. They had to say something, explain that this was not what it seemed. "'Mnotjoinin',over," Rook mumbled the words out fast and cut the signal immediately. They had made a fool out of themselves. The County's feared Deputy was a timid mouse, that's what peggies would soon believe. Rook was hyperventilating. They were going to get a panic attack at this rate. They ran back inside the van and started the engine. Next stop: Fall's End.
While driving, Rook struggled to keep the focus on the road. Peggies could be watching from every corner. They could come and take Rook straight to Joseph's bunker. They drove past loudspeakers which were still on in the Resistance dominated areas. The voices were either Joseph's or one of the Heralds'. Since it was John's region, most of the broadcasts were his.
"My brothers and sisters: this day is a blessing. It is a blessing because our dear Deputy has shown progress. A small step is a step toward Eden. They refused to do what the Resistance had expected them to do. They chose to let those sinners get punished instead. They chose to listen to our sacred music."
Rook nearly crashed the car on a billboard sign when they heard what the speakers said. After turning the car radio back on with high volume, Rook picked a rock channel. Now they were severely worried about what the members of the Resistance were going to say and do. It's possible they weren't hearing what John was hinting at. Even if they were, they wouldn't believe him. It's cult propaganda! Rook was fighting for the County, they were still a cop after all. Not an experienced cop - a rookie deputy on probation - but it counted. Yet, a nagging small voice told Rook they had messed up.
When they reached Fall's End, Jerome was already there. Rook got out of the van and waved at the pastor. He didn't return the gesture. Rook tensed.
"We should do something to those speakers. Have you been around them lately?" Rook nodded. Jerome walked closer, his face gloom. "John preached about you. He says that you have taken a step toward Eden's Gate. I know you rarely - well, if ever - speak verbally but I'd like to know if something happened. Did something happen, Rookie?"
Rook nodded again.
"Were you behind it?"
A nod once more.
"If only you could tell me, or show me, what was it." Rook let out a shaky breath. They had an idea and opened the car door. They leaned inside and switched the channel. The rock song about beer and guns changed to a song about the Collapse and Eden. Rook pointed at the radio and watched Jerome's expression. Rook couldn't tell what he was feeling but they guessed it was a negative emotion. Jerome came beside Rook and placed his hand on their shoulder in a comforting manner.
"I see what you're trying to tell. I'm not going to make any drastic conclusions. I believe you were listening to their music?"
Rook gave a small nod and looked away. Jerome patted on the shoulder. "No need to beat yourself up for it but you should already be aware of how Joseph and his followers operate. This music is one of their tactics to lure people in. It's designed to wake emotions and get stuck in one's head. It might sound ridiculous, but I warn you." Jerome turned Rook to fully face him.
"If you are by any means moved by these songs, I highly recommend avoiding them. People I knew, joined Eden's Gate for various reasons: some joined after hearing Joseph's sermons, and some others wanted to simply have a community to belong to. A few of them weren't even religious but they were drawn in by promises of love, acceptance and family. There were people with traumas, abusive childhoods, addictions and depression. Every one of us has issues in life and the cult takes advantage of this."
"Rook," Jerome took their hand in his own and held it, "If you find yourself unable to fight on or you just have a bad day in general, come to your friends, come to me. If you don't, the cult will find you in your vulnerable state and take you. It's a perfect opportunity for them to strike." Rook's eyes were watering. They felt like shit. They believed they were stupid and bad. Rook wanted to apologise, tell Jerome what they were feeling, what they feared the most. But they could only sob quietly. Jerome pulled them into a hug.
After a couple of minutes, Jerome let go. Rook wiped their face and sniffed. Jerome smiled a reassuring smile and turned to attend to his work. Rook grabbed onto his sleeve and signed him to wait. They went back inside the van and returned with the book they had taken. Rook flipped the pages and gave the book for Jerome to read.
"Hmm, selective...mutism. Huh, are you saying that you do are verbal?"
Rook nodded.
"I'm glad you're opening up. We speculated different reasons for your lack of speech but never have I heard about this. Thank you, Rook."
Rook smiled back at him as they watched him leave with the book. They were still smiling after Jerome was no longer in the sight. They had progressed and it felt wonderful.