Play list:
William Fitzsimmons: I Don't Feel It Anymore (Song of the Sparrow)
Lifehouse: Broken
This chapter has multiple point of view shifts which I was trying to steer away from because I know it can get confusing but it couldn't really have been helped… I apologize now though. If you have any questions please just le me know and I'll be sure to clear it up for you!
Baby You Can Stop Running
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight… I only own the characters that I have created.
Chapter Thirty
Edward
My eyes burned, if it was caused by the tears that had sucked my eyes of all their moisture or from the salty ocean air, I wasn't certain but I was thankful of the small bottle of Visine that I had taken to carrying everywhere to hide the redness from Bella's questioning gaze. I hadn't had a solid night of sleep since the conversation with Alice, my mind was too preoccupied with formulating plans that would keep Bella safe and if I was being honest with myself, I was afraid that if I took my eyes off of her, or if I let her out of my arms, that I would never see her again, that she would be taken away from me, possibly forever.
"Do they know where we are Alice?" Bella began to stir in the bed so I shut the door quietly and walked to the living room trying to be as quiet as possible though I knew that I had already woke her up. My main priority was keeping her away from the conversation, not wanting her to find out this way.
"Not that we know of… Edward, you really need to come home."
"Why so I can lead them straight to her? No, that's not going to happen. She's safe here; we are safe here."
"Carlisle needs to talk to you Edward but he won't do it over the phone. It's pertinent."
"I don't care. I need more time to think about this, to process this, to figure out what I'm going to do now. If I go back and I'm not prepared… if something happens to her Alice… I'd never be able to live with myself."
"We're going to alert the police."
"They can't do anything; we don't even know who it is."
"Carlisle might have an idea. You both really need to talk."
"Not now."
"Please come back Edward."
"I'll be back in a few days… I just need more time."
"Edward? Is everything okay?" I looked up to see Bella standing there, a look of concern etched into her face and I closed the distance between us in five long strides.
"Goodbye Alice." I closed the phone, tossing it back on the chair before I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me and breathing in her sweet fragrance. "It's fine… It's going to be fine."I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince: Bella, or myself.
I was lost in my thoughts, hearing only the sound of the waves as they crashed against the sandy shore at Lovers Point Park, and I pulled Bella tighter against my chest as we sat on a dry patch of sand watching the waves roll in. The wind blew her hair and I could smell the delicious mixture of both her strawberry shampoo and the salty ocean air, doing all I could to commit the moment deep into my memory knowing that there would never be another moment as perfect as this one. Still, as much as I wanted to be content, to enjoy the feel of Bella's warm body against my own, I couldn't focus on it, because my mind was miles away from the present. The worry that I had felt before was becoming a reality and I was terrified now, not only about telling Bella about her father but also about what could possibly happen to her now that whoever it was that was after me knew about her, and would, presumably, stop at nothing to hurt her if it meant hurting me.
"You're awfully quiet." Her voice sounded far away, as though she was on one side of a very long tunnel calling out to me. It was impossible though, I knew she was there with me, wrapped tightly in my arms, maybe even a little too tight but she wasn't complaining so I didn't really care because I just wanted to keep her there, forever.
"Edward?" She said again, turning her head to the side so she could look at me but we were so close that her nose grazed against my jaw and my body shivered from the sensual contact. "What's wrong?"
"There's something I need to tell you." I said softly holding her even tighter if that was possible as her lips touched my jaw. "I just don't know if I can."
"You can tell me anything." She whispered as she moved one hand from her lap and placed her palm against my cheek. It was warm against my wind chilled face and her softness of her fingertips, lulled my eyes closed as her thumb gently rubbed my cheekbone. Her soft fingers were a nice contrast to the stubble on my cheeks from a few days of not shaving.
"Bella… I."
"You can tell me."
"It's my fault that Charlie was shot Bella." She was quiet so I continued. "Someone has been looking for me because of what I did to James and the police caught wind of criminal activity and found him before he found me." I could feel the tears begin to fall down my cheeks though where they were coming from I couldn't say. "The bullets were meant for me and it's all my fault. I never should have moved here, if I had then he never would have gotten hurt, and now they know about you and I don't know what to do."
Her fingers were brushing away the tears that were falling and as I opened my eyes I saw that she too was silently crying and I pulled her deeper into my chest, letting her head rest in the crook of my neck, her warm tears wetting my shirt. "I love you Bella. I promise to keep you safe. I'll do whatever it takes. I'm so sorry…"
We were silent for a long while, just hold on to each other until we had no more tears to cry. She pulled away and looked up at me with sad eyes and I felt my heart break.
"This was what you were talking to Alice about wasn't it?"
"Yes." I hung my head.
"How long have you known about this?" Her voice was steady though I imagined that she was fighting a battle within herself to keep calm. I would have rather she yelled at me, I would have deserved it.
"About a month now, maybe a little more."
Her tears started again and I reached down to wipe them but she pulled out of my embrace and stood up, turning her back on me as she walked along the beach.
"Bella please." I whimpered, standing up and reaching for her arm but she yanked it away. I could feel my heart break and I wasn't sure what I was going to do.
"I can't believe you've known about this for that long and didn't think I deserved to know!" There it was, the yelling and I immediately took back my desire for her to do so. Her words felt like a knife through my heart and I knew that there was nothing that I could do.
"I was afraid of telling you Bella… Please." I began to beg, reaching out again for her but watching as she took a few more steps back. "I love you and I was afraid to lose you. Please Bella… I need you to forgive me."
"I just… I can't Edward." She whispered, turning her head to look back towards the parking lot. "I trusted you…"
"I know I…"
"Listen to me… It's not your fault that Charlie was shot… That's part of his job… But you should have told me Edward… I.."
"I know how hard it is for you to trust someone Bella, especially after what Jacob did to you but I promise I'm not him… I really thought I was doing the right thing."
"I know you think it was the right thing but what do you think I was going through these past few weeks Edward?! Do you have any idea?"
"I just thought."
"How can you even think that we are in a relationship if you can't tell me when something is that important?"
"I wanted to protect you Bella."
"Protecting me means telling me what is going on."
"I know that now." I whispered trying to catch her eyes but she adverted them, looking out onto the horizon instead to the sun that was beginning to set.
"I need some time Edward…"
"I can't give you time Bella. I need to keep you safe."
"I have Emmett and Charlie, I'll be fine. I really need to be without you for a while and think about everything."
"I'm so sorry Bella."
"I know."
"If I could go back and take it all back I would."
"But you can't so there really isn't a point talking about it is there?"
"I wish there was something I could do."
"There is… Give me some time." She whispered, finally allowing me to wrap my arms around her, to pull her against me. I could feel her body trembling against mine as she cried so I just held her closer, rubbing her back softly with my fingers, wishing that I could take it all back, watching her cry was something that I never wanted to see and knowing that I had put the tears in her eyes was unbearable.
I pulled up alongside the Swan's house and stopped at the curb before looking over at her. She was already getting out of the car before I had the chance to open my mouth so I followed suit, popping the trunk so that we could get her bag out.
"I can do it." She said, her voice quiet and I was thankful that her tone hadn't been quite as harsh has it had been before we stepped onto the plane.
"Just let me get it." I pleaded.
"No!" She replied and I backed up and let her, knowing that right now she was still hurt and upset. I let my eyes survey the scene, searching for anything that would bring me to think that someone was there watching the house.
"I think you should stay at our house Bella." I mused cautiously "If anything I'll know that you're safe and we can talk."
"I don't want to talk right now Edward. I'm still processing."
"Then I'll at least feel better knowing you're safe. You can stay in the guest bedroom… I'll stay in my own bedroom. I just want to know that you're okay."
"I'll be fine."
"Let Alice come over tonight at least."
"I don't want to talk." She said through clenched teeth.
"I said to have Alice come over."
"Why so you can let her talk some 'sense' into me? So that she can convince me that what you did was the right thing?"
"You'll find that Alice will be on your side. She's been pressuring me to tell you… Carlisle and Esme too. The decision was all my own and I'm the only one that you should be angry with." I sighed. "Don't punish the others. They love you Bella."
"Fine. Alice can come over but no one else." She murmured and I could see the unshed tears, shining in her eyes.
"Can I walk you to the door at least?" I whispered and I watched as she shook her head.
"I think you should just go home and talk to Carlisle…"
"Can I call you later?"
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"I take it you aren't coming over tomorrow still then?"
"Tomorrow?"
"Thursday, it's Thanksgiving. You told Esme and Carlisle that the four of you would come over for dinner." I was searching her eyes, looking for any glimmer of hope that she would still want to send the day with my family and I.
"We'll be there… It's too late to buy everything to just do our own thing and you're right, it's not your family that I'm upset at."
"Just me." I said quietly as my let my eyes fall to the floor and she sighed.
"Edward…" I saw her feet in my line of vision so I knew she had taken a step forward and then I felt her hand on my face, her soft thumb stroking my cheek. "I'm just hurt that you didn't say something sooner… All this time I've thought you were pulling away from me and if I had known that it had nothing at all to do with me, that it wasn't something that I could control… I think I wouldn't have been feeling so insecure. I don't know… I just need to process, to think about everything."
"Do you still want to be with me?" I questioned softly and looked up to meet her eyes. The tears that had once been pooling in her eyes were now falling down her cheeks.
"I do."
I reached forward and brushed a few strands of her hair behind her ear. "I'll have Alice call later to let you know when she will be over." She nodded and I leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek. "I love you."
"I know." She responded as she turned her back and started up the drive, pausing only at the door to look back at me with that heartbreaking sad smile on her lips. I had never hated myself more.
Carlisle
Seventeen years I've kept Elizabeth Masen's secret from her son, from the boy that my wife and I chose to raise as our own because we had grown to love him just as much as his own parents. It wasn't something that I wanted to do, but Edward, my best friend from medical school, had sworn me to secrecy if anything was to ever happen to them, I had never even told Esme what he had once said, and I would tell her everything. I knew that Edward had the right to know, that now, the information was pertinent to finding out whom it was that was after him; who was still seeking to seek revenge on the late Elizabeth Masen, even after her death.
"Edward?" I said peering over the couch where my son was slumped. I could see the anguish in his eyes as he stared at the television, watching it, but not really processing it. He hadn't moved since he had come home and changed into long pajama pants. He was wallowing and I figured it had to do with Bella. "What's wrong son?"
"Bella… She is processing." His voice was dull and I longed for the happiness that he had exuded a mere two and a half months ago when she had come into his life, into our lives.
"Processing?"
"What she is going to do next… She's upset, rightly so, with me for not telling her."
"So you told her?" I questioned and he nodded his head, closing his eyes as though he was fighting back tears. "You did the right thing."
"Not telling her?"
"No… Telling her. That's why I need to do the right thing now." He opened his eyes once again and looked at me. Even after seventeen years, I was startled by how much he looked like his father: the piercing green eyes that told every emotion he was feeling, the mess of hair that rested on his head, the strong, chiseled jaw. He was a spitting image of his father minus the hair; the hair was the one quality that he had inherited from Elizabeth, the strange bronze color that I had never seen naturally before. I snapped from my trance to see that he was searching my own eyes trying to understand what it was that I could possibly tell him that could be so bad. I walked to the other side and sat down on the other end of the couch before taking a deep breath to calm the nerves. He could very possibly hate me after this.
"You have heard of the Volturi and the Malinovsky mobs I presume?" He nodded and I closed my eyes before continuing. "Do you know much?"
"I know that they both are pretty large drug cartels. Don't they fix sporting events too?"
I nodded. "They fix elections as well."
"What does this have to do with anything?"
I sighed and leaned my head back against the pillows as I realized that this was going to be harder than I had first imagined. "Your father, about three months before they died found out that your mother was somewhat involved with them."
"She wouldn't do that. She was honorable." He snapped forward, his eyes narrowing into slits as he glared at me. "You've always told me that she was honorable."
"Your mother had very high aspirations Edward and female politicians weren't exactly the norm then. It was at a time when the Malinovsky's had more clout then the Volturi and they wanted to maintain that power for as long as they could. Alec would do anything to maintain his power and that meant getting an insider in the political system."
"I don't understand."
"The Volturi and the Malinovsky's used to be one in the same Edward. As you know, the names of the leaders never change, their bloodlines go straight back to the fall of Rome."
"Volturi yes. But what about Malinovsky? Russian remember? Are they descendents of the Romanovs?"
I shook my head, "Alec Malinovsky is a descendent of Aro Volturi. Romanov doesn't even go that far back." I said softly. "Just let me explain." He nodded. "About a hundred and fifty years ago, Aro Volturi had two son's Caius and Alec. Just like any leader, Caius would later inherit Aro's position and his name and this angered Alec who had his own thirst for power. He felt that his brother wasn't worthy, that he wouldn't do the best job, but above all else, that he should have been the rightful heir, that his being born second shouldn't have ever been a factor. When he was finished with his education, he had tried to have his brother assassinated so he would have inherited it all, however his efforts were futile because Aro had uncovered his plan and disowned him. Alec was out on his own when he met a Russian by the name of Irina and knowing her status in society, he courted her, realizing that he could use her money and her status for his own revenge. After he married Irina Malinovsky, he took her name and her money and turned against his father and brother.
"Since then they have been in a power struggle, each mob gaining leverage over the other every decade or so. It just happened that Malinovsky was in power in the eighties and your mother was victim to them.
"Your father found out and though you probably don't remember, those last three months weren't exactly the best between them. They fought a lot and the only reason I know this is because the last thing that your father told me was that he wanted me to vow to protect you because he was certain that the Malinovsky family would come after you in the wake of their death."
"They knew they were going to die?" I could see the tears in his eyes and I hated myself for doing this to him, for knowing that I was tearing down everything that he had once known about his mother and tarnishing it for him. If I could have kept it a secret I would have, but that wasn't an option anymore.
"You mother realized what she had done and she tried hard to change her position but she was bound to them and they were strong. It wasn't like she could go to the FBI or the police because they had men there too. They still do. But when the letters started to come I saw the letter head and their symbol is on the letter. I know I should have told you sooner but I wasn't sure it was serious. At least, not until the letter came that said they knew about Bella."
"Why? Why are they still doing this?" He asked and I could hear the anguish in his voice. "She's gone… My father's gone. When I thought it was about James I could understand but what do I have to do with anything? What does Bella have to do with anything?"
I sighed again and looked at him, the tears that I had saw before were now making wet trails against his cheeks and wet puddles on his shirt. "You are your mother's child… I suppose, according to what your father had mentioned, that when your mother knew exactly what would happen if she betrayed them, that they had said they would come after her entire family until punishment and been administered. The only reason why I think it has taken them so long to find you is a mixture of their not knowing what you looked like as your mother rarely let you out into the public eye, presumably because she knew about this, and because for the past fifteen years they have been struggling with the Volturi more so than usual."
"But Bella?"
"They probably know that Bella is important to you."
"So if I break this off with her, do you think they would leave her alone?" His voice was urgent and it broke my heart to know that he would do anything, even if it meant giving up the only shred of happiness that he had ever felt if it meant it would save Bella.
"No. I don't imagine it would make any difference." I sighed. "They know that you know about them now… Or at least, they know you are aware of their knowledge of Bella and I assume they would know you would only break it off with her because you wouldn't want them to do anything to her. If they are as sick as I imagine they are, they would hurt her to hurt you even more."
"So she really is in this situation because of me? Because of my family?" He whispered and I just looked at him. "If I had stuck to my guns and stayed away from her, she would have been safe."
Edward didn't give me the time to respond. Instead he stood up and walked to this room, I presume to be alone though I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I should have waited longer to tell him, at least until things had worked themselves out with Bella. Maybe this was all too much for him to deal with. I had seen the stress that he had been under since the letters had begun to pour in. I just couldn't hold it in any longer knowing that he had to know what was happening, he had to know why so that he wouldn't blame himself as he had been doing for so long.
"Where did he go?" Alice asked as she walked into the room, looking down to notice that Edward was gone.
"Upstairs."
"Is he okay?"
"I don't think so."
"Should I call Bella?"
"I don't think they are talking right now."
"So he told her?" She questioned and I nodded my head.
"She told him that she needed time."
"Well, I'll call her and explain everything… I'll bet she'll be over in an hour." Alice smiled and I nodded, watching as she reached for the phone and dialed the number.
Bella
When I got to the Cullen's house, Alice opened the door and pointed to the stairs, not bothering to say anything. There was nothing to be said, everything had already been laid before me and I knew that I had to be there for him. It wasn't that I forgave him for withholding what he knew from me, because I was still angry as hell about that, but I knew that what he had just found out had probably devastated him and I needed to be there for him, to assure him that in the end, we would be okay.
I didn't knock, I knew he was there and when I opened the door I was engulfed into the darkness.
"I said I wasn't hungry." He grumbled and stood there as I allowed my eyes to adjust. He was laying face down on the bed, and though they were weak, I thought I could hear the sound of faint sobs. "I said go away."
"Edward." I spoke softly and I watched him move onto his elbows, his head turning to face me.
"Bella?" He whimpered and I moved closer to the bed, sitting down and moving him so his head was in my lap. "I'm so sorry Bella. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay… It's going to be okay." I whispered, running my fingers though his hair as he cried into my lap.
"My mother… This is all my fault… I never should have brought you into this."
"You didn't know. You would never have known."
"I won't let them hurt you Bella." He said, pulling himself up so that he was looking at me, his hands on both sides of my face, wiping at the tears I hadn't even known were falling. "You are my life Bella. I love you."
"I love you too." I responded before his lips pressed against mine and I comforted him in the only way that I thought I could right now.
Edward
I didn't want to believe the words that Carlisle had spoken. All my life they had led me to believe one thing and though she had tried to rectify her actions, I wasn't sure that I could ever forgive my mother for the pain that she was causing me now in her death. It wasn't that I didn't love her, but knowing that had she made a different decision, had she gone about getting her political power the honorable way and done the right thing all along, she and my father would have still been here with me and Bella would have been safe.
I felt something tug on my shirt and when I looked down I saw her laying there, tucked safely into my arms and still wearing the same clothes that she had worn on the plane the other day. I didn't move, afraid to wake her. We had been up quiet late, her holding me as I cried, stroking my hair and finally lulling me to sleep with the sound of her voice as she whispered her love to me. I knew I wasn't forgiven, but I was thankful that she had been there.
The door opened and I watched as Alice peered around, her eyes landing on the bed and Bella before they met my own.
"Everything worked out?" She questioned, arching one of her eyebrows.
"As much as could be expected for now… There's still a lot to talk about." I said quietly though I could feel Bella begin to stir as she rolled onto her other side so her head was resting against my arm.
"We'll figure it all out. We won't let anything happen to either of you. It's going to be okay." She said, a small smile on her face. I wanted to believe her but so much had already been stacked against us and I wasn't sure. "Carlisle has alerted the FBI and I imagine that they'll be here tomorrow to start patrolling.
"What's to say they will stop if we find the one person that they send after me?"
"Because the FBI has been after the Malinovsky mob for decades."
"But we still don't know who they are." I continued leaning over Bella and brushing some of her hair off her face so I could see her face.
"Yes, but I'm pretty certain that as long as they know the FBI are monitoring the house, are monitoring both you and Bella, then I don't think they would do anything if they ran the risk of being exposed."
"And if they do?"
"We'll figure it out."
I stood outside on the porch looking out into the forest through the rain that was beating down against the ground, occasionally sipping from the pint glass filled with Mac & Jacks that Carlisle had purchased in Port Angeles. Carlisle, Charlie, Emmett and Jasper were in the house watching the game and though they had tried to get me to watch, I couldn't sit still, I thought it would have been better to spend my time surveying the area, making sure that there weren't people lurking in the trees or bushes just waiting to attack.
I hadn't heard the door open so I jumped slightly when I felt something against my shirt. It wasn't until I looked down and saw her small hands around my waist that I allowed myself to melt against her stomach.
"What are you doing?" She asked as I brought my arm up and moved her around so she was standing in front of me, stomach to stomach.
"Just thinking."
She laid her head against my chest and I placed my beer on the railing and stroked her hair absentmindedly with one hand as I continued to look out as far as my eye sight would allow me to.
"I'm not going to tell Charlie… Or Emmett." She whispered before looking up at me, her chin pressed against my shirt.
"I'm not sure that's the best thing to do."
"I am. They'll send me away and I want to be here with you."
"You should go away."
"Then you should too."
I shook my head. "They'll just follow me there and more likely than not, they'll follow you too."
"That's why I'm staying here and not telling them."
It was silent among us again until she spoke. "I'm not saying that I'm still not upset with you but I understand why you didn't tell me…"
I looked down at her. "I didn't want to worry you."
"I know… Alice told me everything and I understand. But you should know that all that time, all those weeks where you went from hot to cold I thought it was because of me… You know everything I went through with Jacob and since then I've had a lot of problems trusting people. I would have preferred that you had told me, trusted me enough to stick by you because I would have…" Her voice trailed off for a moment and I looked down, suddenly unsure as to if she would want to stay with me after this was all sorted.
"No. I will stick by you. You can't keep things from me Edward, regardless of how bad it might be. If it affects you, I'd be willing to bed that it affects me as well."
"I know. It was a terrible decision. It's just each time I wanted to tell you, I couldn't. I couldn't bear the thought that it would scare you off and you wouldn't want to be with me anymore. I would have respected that decision. I wouldn't want to be with me if I were you."
"Stop being so self deprecating Edward." She interrupted. "You tell me that I don't see myself clearly but I think you need to turn the mirror on yourself. You spend all this time worrying about things that are beyond your control. You spend all this time telling yourself that you aren't good enough for me but really… You are so much more than I deserve."
"How can you say that when I'm the reason that your life could be in jeopardy? I was so afraid of this… This was one of the reasons why I was so apprehensive to let you in, even though I couldn't help it because you have taken over my body and soul. I told you from the beginning that I was afraid that someone might come after you." She reached up and placed a finger against my lips, silencing me.
"You did tell me from the beginning and I told you I didn't care. I think you forgot about that. All I want Edward is for you to be honest with me because that's the only way that this will work. You can't shelter me from things that are beyond your control. You need to tell me about them before it gets to be like this."
"I know."
"Promise me that next time… If there ever is a next time, that you will tell me and not hide it away and let it eat you up inside."
"I promise." I murmured against her hair.
"Are you staying the night?" I asked after Emmett, Rose and Charlie had left.
"I suppose I can."
"It would make me feel better if I knew you were safe." I replied, pulling her tighter against me as we sat on the couch. I looked to the clock and saw that it was already eleven.
"I need to go home and get some clothes."
"I'll go with you."
"Edward, you can't follow me around everywhere." She smiled and kissed my nose.
"That's what you think."
"I'll go home alone and I'll be back in a little bit."
I tightened my grip on her as she began to get up.
"I'll give you something to sleep in. I really, really don't want you going out this late alone."
"I need clothes for tomorrow."
"You can get them tomorrow."
"And what will Charlie say when he sees that I'm wearing your clothes?"
"He'll say, 'atta boy Edward.'" I chucked, knowing full well that his reaction would be anything but.
"He isn't Carlisle and you know it." She laughed, playfully slapping my arm.
"He won't even be home when I take you back there."
"You aren't ever going to let me out of your sight are you?" She asked and I shook my head. "What about when you have to work?"
"I'll bring you to the hospital and lock you in my office."
"Because that is so safe." She rolled her eyes and I laughed again lightly.
"Please." I pouted and pressed my lips to her neck. "Don't go out it's too late."
She sighed. "Okay but really Edward… I can't be locked up all day and night."
"That's what you think." I mused, inhaling her soft scent.
A/N:
Okay so everything is out in the open… We know who it is that is after Edward and Bella, or at least, the mobs that are after Edward and Bella. If you have any questions regarding this history of the Malinovsky mob or the Volturi mob I would be more than happy to help explain and clarify. The history is a little murky.
Okay… I was slightly disappointed that the last chapter didn't get that many reviews in comparison. You all have spoiled me… With that said… I'm kind of going to do something that I have never done and bribe you to review… I'll give you a preview (for those who don't post anonymously) of what is to come in the next chapter if you send me your thoughts. It's kind of frustrating to have 1,000+ hits per chapter, 300+ alerts and only get 30 reviews… I write for you all and I'd like to know what you like/what you don't like… I want to give you something that you want to read! So keep that in mind. As many of you who always do review know, I always think about what you tell me… I have even used some of your ideas.
Anyways, I hope you all had a great weekend. Sorry that it took a little longer to get this one out but it's been a pretty stressful week.
Another special thanks to zgirl21 for being an amazing beta. I'm almost done with my brainstorming for the sequel so I'll have the next ideas to you hopefully by the end of the this week!