highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc.

Chapter 17: beside you

Enter troy

Ryan and I's weekend had been great. He stayed over both Friday and Saturday night and today was the day that I was going to tell my parents… everything. Even if Ryan didn't want me to I knew that I had to for me. Going a whole week of school and seeing all of the happy couples holding hands and kissing that's what I wanted with Ryan. Now all we had to do was wait for them to get home from their trip.

Ryan had tried to talk me out of it for the better part of the morning but I was not about to change my mind now. He had agreed to a one week waiting time and I had done my one week and now it was time to tell the most important people in my life about the new addition to that category.

Me and Ryan were currently sitting on the couch in the living room just waiting. He refused to sit near me so we were on opposite sides. He was still a little annoyed with the whole situation.

"Come sit with me" I said patting the spot right next to me.

"Why?" he asked

I smirked and shook my head "because I want to cuddle"

"Well I don't really feel like cuddling" he said moving over on the couch a little more which to be honest wasn't much considering he was already hanging over the other side.

"Please I don't like being in the same room with you with out some sort of physical contact" I said now taking it upon myself to cuddle him. I knew I was just deflecting a building argument but I really didn't want to talk any longer about it I had made up my mind and if Ryan loved me then he should support me.

"Well" he said standing up from the couch "you didn't touch me for sixteen years I'm sure you can go an afternoon.

"Ok what they hell is you're problem today?" I finally asked not liking the cold why Ryan was starting to talk to me.

"Are you sure this is what you want troy?" Ryan asked again. I stifled an eye roll and nodded.

"Of course ry I know what I am doing" I said reassuringly

"I don't think you do" he said irritated

"I do Ryan I really do I know what I want"

"Is that right?" he said challengingly "well just for kicks have you figured out what you're plan is if they don't accept you?"

I didn't say anything. It's true I hadn't really thought about a plan b but I had faith that my parents would be ok with it if not they would be complete hypocrites seeing as how my uncle was gay and they love him all the same.

"As I thought" he said to my silence which just annoyed me.

"Why do you have to act like you are always right?" I snapped. He bit his lip and turned away and I instantly felt bad for freaking at him. "Ry… I'm sorry it's just you need to stop over analyzing everything"

His look of hurt turned in to a stunned are you kidding me look "troy you think I am over analyzing things? Maybe you are under analyzing things" I could tell that my comment had truly annoyed him. "Troy I don't know if you have noticed but I have a little bit more experience when it comes to this stuff"

"Such as?" I challenged

"such as being an out teenager for the past two years such as the constant shit I get for it every single day troy you think that it will be some easy cake walk it wont be and I don't think you are ready to handle it its not like trying out for a musical there is more at stake then losing a few friends" he said

" I'm not trying to go about this like it is going to be easy I know its not but being with you is all worth it" I said

"I don't know if it is" he said looking away

That comment felt like a punch to the face. Why would he say something like that he knew how I felt about him so why would he even think that all this wasn't worth it.

"Ryan I love you that much I am sure of" I said

"Would you stop thinking about us?" he yelled making me lean way from him. "I'm not talking about what could go wrong with us I get it that you love me troy I love you too and I know that being together feels right but what about you're life troy? What about you're future am I worth giving up you're dreams am I worth leaving everything behind because I guarantee you that being gay is something that is un common when it comes to professional basketball"

"When did basket ball become an issue?" I asked also raising my voice

" see troy" he snapped " this is what I am freaking talking about you don't understand all the bad that will come all of the cruelty and discrimination you are to busy focusing on what we will have to face together that you don't even know the shit you will have to deal with alone"

I opened my mouth to respond but I found myself at a loss for words. He was right I didn't know the first thing about living the gay life I didn't know the first thing about the shit I would go threw but I knew that I couldn't not come out. I had spent my whole life lying about who I am I am an honest person and I owe it to myself and to my parents to tell them this. I didn't like keeping secrets and this is about the biggest one you can keep.

"I have to do this Ryan" I said. He shut his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek. "I can't lie to them"

"It would kill me to see you have to go threw stuff that I went threw the shit I go threw still troy" he said wiping his tears " knowing there is nothing I can do to stop it"

Troy got up off the couch and pulled me into his arms "shhhhh its ok baby you don't have to worry about me"

"I just don't want you jumping into things before you know what it is you are jumping into" he said "I want you to be prepared"

"I am prepared for the hate and all of it" I said stroking the back of his neck as his head rested on my shoulder.

"But are you prepared to lose everything troy?" he asked moving his head to look me in the eyes "you have a lot more to lose then I did troy you're family popularity basketball are you willing to lose it all for me?"

"Why do you think that you aren't worth risking it all for?" I asked him "I fell like this is less about you thinking I am not ready and more about you thinking you are not reason enough to take a leap of faith"

"No… you're wrong" he said pulling out of my grasp

" I'm right Ryan" I said as he made his way across the room to the door " you are using all this crap to put up a front because of you think that you aren't good enough for me" he started putting on his shoes. "Ryan please don't leave I want you here, I want you"

That's when I understood what this was really all about he was scared. He stood looking towards the door and didn't move he had one shoe on and the other one was left forgotten "I don't understand"

"What?" I asked

" why you want me" he said in barely a whisper " its not supposed to be this way, you are the cool guy and I'm a pathetic loser who will always dream of what it would be like to be loved by someone like you its unrealistic its too good to be real and it scares me"

I walked towards him and put a hand on his shoulder

" keeping it to ourselves is the only thing keeping it from feeling too real and once its real you might realize that 9its not what you really wanted, I don't know what I would do if… if you didn't feel the same way anymore" he said hanging his head

"Ryan" I said walking around him so we were front to front "do you think I'm going to hurt you?"

He didn't say a word and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I hated seeing him like this. I had scene him cry before at it ripped my heart in two and all I wanted to do was make him smile. This was all my fault I should have known that Ryan had issues with this kind of crap I mean the day I realized I was in love with him was the day he spilled about his past. I had not taken out the time to understand Ryan's insecurities but I was to selfish to recognize that he is afraid. Ryan was afraid that it was a phase that this was some sort of experiment and that once it became public and I discovered the trials and tribulations of being gay I would head for the hills. That was what happened with the others from what I gathered it would get to real for them and they would hang him out to dry. I wasn't going to do that to him.

Ryan Evans is a beautiful intellectual brilliant person and he deserves the best. And I for one am far from it I am lucky to even know him if not be with him I would do anything for him because I could certainly do worse and he could do so much better. I just wish he could understand that I would never intentionally hurt him.

"Ryan I would never hurt you" I said as a tear ran down my cheek "I'm not like them I will never be like them and I want this more then I have ever wanted something before. the feelings I get when I am around you are unlike any I have felt you are my world and to let people know that is worth all of the hate they will throw at the both of us"

Ryan looked up into my eyes as another tear ran down his pale cheek. "Really" he asked sniffing and wiping away more tears.

"I will reassure you everyday until you no longer have to ask" I said reaching up to caresses his face. Ryan cracked a small smile and my heart melted I loved his beautiful smile. I guided him back into the living room where we both took spots on the couch next to each other. He held my hand and I put my free arm around his waste.

I promised my self to understand everything about Ryan. I wanted to know him inside and out so I would know how to better handle situations like the one that just took place. I still had a lot to learn about him and the more I knew the more I would be able to understand what kind of person he really is behind the shield he puts up to keep people out.

I pressed my lips to his cheek and he leaned in. "I'm sorry" he said

"For what?" I asked removing my lips from his face and raise my eyebrow.

"For being complicated" he said shrugging.

"Life's complicated" I replied also shrugging "that's what keeps us from being perfect my love"

"I guess you can say we are both further off then we thought we were" he said

I kissed his cheek again "I don't know together I would say we are up there at near perfection" I said snickering and burying my face in the crook of his neck. I heard the door open and me and Ryan removed ourselves form each other and sat on opposite sides of the couch.

My dad walked in holding a suit case and my mom followed holding a few shopping bags "ahh Ryan I was hoping you would be here I wanted to show you some new outfits I bought get you're professional opinion" she said taking off her heels and joining us on the couch.

I smiled and scoffed at Ryan's almost existed face as she started rummaging threw her bags.

"We ordered Chinese on the way home if you want to stay for dinner bud" my dad said leaving the suitcase near the front door and.

I know that Ryan was worried about what my parents would say or think but I had a hard time believing that they would disown me if I come out to them. The fact that my dad had just called Ryan bud was proof enough that they liked him as a person and approved of his sexual orientation.

I looked down the couch and watched as Ryan and my mom discussed her new bought outfits and I knew that if my dad had a problem that my mom would welcome the idea and not have any distain towards Ryan.

"I'd love to stay" Ryan said smiling. I felt all warm inside. I knew coming out to my parents was the right thing to do all I had to know was weather Ryan was on bored because truly I knew that if he wasn't comfortable with it then I wouldn't do it no matter how much I wanted to. Ryan and my mom spent the better part of the next twenty minutes discussing which pair of pants would go better with each shirt while me and my dad talked loosely about golf. The door bell rang and my dad went to get it while my mom went to the kitchen to set the table. We could all see each other but me and Ryan were far enough away from the others to talk without being heard.

"So…. What do you think?" I asked him. He looked at me confused. "Do you want to do this or not because if you don't then its ok we don't have to come out to my parents"

Ryan realized what I was talking about and sighed "you're sure this is what you want?" he asked. I nodded my approval like a child and he cracked a smile. "Then what the hell"

Ryan and I joined my parents in the dining room for dinner and once again we broke into group discussion. There was a lot of talk of the spring musical which was holding auditions with in the next few weeks. I was surprised that my dad was so into it usually he had a one track mind which was sports but he seems entertained with the topic so no one made note of changing the subject. After we all finished eating I knew it was time to do what I was planning.

"So um I have something to say" I said looking at Ryan and smiling. I got the same amount of enthusiasm back on his part as I had given. Both of my parents shared a look but then turned back to me "me and Ryan …. Well were sort of…. "This was proving to be harder then I had initially planed.

"Spit it out son" my dad said

"Meandryanaredating" I said quickly too quickly actually for both of my parents looked unfazed by what I had just said.

"One more time honey but this time enunciate a little better I have no idea what you just said" my mom said grabbing a hold of my hand

"Me and Ryan are… dating" I said "I'm well …. I don't want to say gay because I still like girls but bi sexual dose that work?"

"Darling you are rambling" she said

I raised an eyebrow at my mother. I had just told her that I was dating another boy and she was just sitting here not at all shocked or angry not that I expected her to be angry. I turned towards my dad to find him looking at me funny. That was the look of parental confusion I was looking for. "Dad I…."

He held up his hand to stop me from speaking "are … are you sure?" he asked

"Um yeah dad" I said grabbing Ryan's hand with the one that wasn't being held onto by my mother. "I'm really sure"

"Ok" he said sighing "I just… it's not a phase?"

"Jack" my mom snapped "you had to have scene this coming"

My head snapped to look at my mother "what you knew?" I asked

"Of course troy" he said laughing "kids these days think there parents are stupid trust me troy you were anything but subtle"

"Lucile of course I had my suspicions its jut what about basketball?" he said turning towards me. Wow leave it to my father to look past the fact that I just told him I was bi sexual and somehow link it to basketball " I mean what about the team?"

"Dad frankly I don't really care what the team thinks" I said.

"I know I know its just I hear some of the things they say and I just don't know if I want that for you" he said" I'm not against it" he said turning to Ryan " Ryan you have to know I am not opposed to you two being in a relationship if there was any boy I'm glad it's a kid like you trust me but I know what kids say and… its just not something I want for my son to have to be ridiculed"

" I know from personal experience that it's a hard life to live" said Ryan " and I agree that I don't want troy to have to deal with the crap that comes with it all but its what he wants so"

"dad I know you are worried about what people might say or do to me and I know that you mean it in the least shameful way possible but I know what I want and that's Ryan" I said noticing Ryan's face go a shade redder.

"As long as you are happy I suppose" he said "if either of you have any troubles with anyone from the team or any student at all you know to come straight to me"

"We know dad" I said nodding.

"Well let me be the first one to say this" said my mom standing up "welcome to the Bolton family" she reached out her arms and pulled Ryan out of his seat and into a big hug. I smiled at the sight and even my dad cracked a small grin "I like you so much batter then that Montez girl" she then said

"Mom" I said

"What am I a bad mother because I am happy I have a gay son?" she asked taken aback

"Not gay Lucile bi he is bi sexual" my dad chimed in

"Oh tomato tomato " she said rolling her eyes. Sometimes I forgot how humiliating my parents could be.

A/N

ok so new chapter i got it up erly because i e mailed a few chapters to myself and am using my roomates computer to up load so i am not working on any but i am uploading so that might be a bad thing for later but for now you have a new chapter so be happy.

i called this chapter beside you by Marianas trench because i used maybe my fave lyric of all time in this chapter can any of you guess what line it is? any who there was some fluff in this chapter and some more relationship building for the two and the next chapter is not about them but it is about the next best thing which is the whole taylor prego scandle which i'm sure you ahve all been wondering about so i hope you like and please review =D