It was the afternoon when Chiaotzu stood on the river bank, looking deep into its waving and crashing ripples. From his vantage point he noted a school of fish pushing bravely against the current. Their bodies were made for it, to go against all odds that sat between them and their destination. In the boy's mind, he saw a fish far smaller than the rest. It's tail swiping desperately to keep up with the others yet losing ground every second, pushed backwards against its will, into the churning waters leading down to a waterfall.
What else is there for me to do? Chiaotzu thought to himself as he watched. 'Everything feels beyond my reach now. Though I can still train with him...does it help? If only...'
The words trailed off into silence and the boy shivered at what they implied. Not the silent realization of his mortality. No. This was the loneliness brought about by failure. The stark reminder that in spite of how strong he was, there were limits, and Chiaotzu felt through the tips of his fingers that he had already reached them or at least that border was fast approaching.
Chiaotzu blinked once and the imagined little fish in its loosing battle against the current was gone. And so were the bigger fish, but he imagined they had somehow made it further up stream while his attention was elsewhere.
"You are different, Chiaotzu," the voice of his old master echoed distantly in his mind. "If you do nothing, you will simply die. And there isn't much I can do with a corpse. Either do what you must to stay alive, or you live under my roof no longer."
"He was right. Wasn't he." It was a statement, not a question. Chiaotzu knew his magic would never grow beyond what it was, nor could he get stronger unless something new came into play. So what did he do then?
Another memory came. Souls. Life. The energy of life itself. Not just ki for battle, but the shimmering particles that caused breath to enter your lungs and blood to flow through the veins, and dictate how many days you would inhabit the land of the living. Chiaotzu felt his fingers twitch involuntarily and he brought them up with muted dismay as he watched them tremble a little.
"Oh no." he thought. "How long has it been?" Since the last time he found someone...something too weak to fight back against the forces he put over their body and dragged them under until their spirit relinquished and vaporized, easing up through his palm and filling his body with springing rejuvenation and warmth.
He could go into the forest and find a deer, it wouldn't be anything nearing satisfaction but it might make the shaking stop. But Tien had just brought home a buck nights ago. Its meat drying in the larder shed behind their home. It would last them for months. His hands were shaking more now. Tien wouldn't mind surely.
"I might have to go farther out." Chiaotzu thought about the larger creatures that roamed the plains out in the open where human life was virtually non existent. A big nasty Ferocisaurus wouldn't be too much to handle, even for his weak stature. Chiaotzu's heart sank. But it would be a waste. It would take every animal in the badlands starving to consume that much flesh before it rotted down to the bones. It didn't make it any better, but at least it was just a stupid animal, he wouldn't have to look it its eyes and feel guilt, at least not like he used to. That would be worse. Even if he had ever come across a 'relative' of the thing, they were never really family, not like people. Heck another dinosaur might catch wind and come over for dinner. The ferocisaurus were cannibals, he'd seen it before. With his mind made up, Chiaotzu took to the air. For a minute instance he thought about turning around and telling Tien what he would be doing, but stubbornly went against it and flew off to the west.
The search took all night but the task was relatively quick. The beasts didn't fear the small floating boy. His target had no reason to as far as it could understand, Chiaotzu was a pest and it snapped at him when he flew near just as Chiaotzu predicted, he dodged with ease. A few stinging zaps of ki was all it took to send the territorial dino into a frenzy.
"Okay then show me what you've got!" Chiaotzu shouted over the roar as the red dinosaur charged across the open field. He inhaled and braced his body in mid air. In a quick motion extended his hands forward and the dinosaur was stuck in place. Its weight and head snapping for purchase but couldn't break the boy's hold. It screamed in rage, the smell of its breath was strong enough to make Chiaotzu gag.
With just a little force, Chiaotzu held the beast immobile. Another blast of power exploded from his palms and slammed the beast's body, spikey horns crumbled and broken in an instant. It struggled feebly for a few seconds before finally succumbing to Chiaotzu's strength and buckling to the ground with a shattering crash. Just like that, the ferocisaurus, a monster larger than a two story house and with fangs and claws the size of cars, was at his mercy. Everything after that happened quickly. Palm flat against the tough hide, Chiaotzu felt the stream of yang energy he sought along the spine, his small fingers bumped against the rough texture of scales, not bothered by the blistering heat rising from it as it buffered and slid around the cooling aura of his blue psychic energy. He wasn't even concentrating yet already he could feel the thrumming life energy licking at his finger tips.
Chiaotzu exhaled. "I'm sorry, it'll be over soon." Something feral flooded his mind and any sense of guilt extinguished as he began to feed.
Chiaotzu focused his mind and will, and with a sharp intake of breath, he began to draw the life energy from the dying creature. He felt the power flow into him, filling him with a sensation of strength and vitality. The shaking in his hands subsided, and he felt a sense of relief wash over him. For a few moments, he let himself indulge in the feeling of power, of being alive and strong.
But then, as the last of the life energy drained from the ferocisaurus and into Chiaotzu's body, he felt a sharp pang of guilt. He knew what he was doing was wrong, that taking the life of another creature was a terrible thing. But he couldn't help himself. He needed the energy to survive, to keep himself alive and strong.
With a heavy heart, Chiaotzu let go of the creature and stepped back. He watched as the ferocisaurus's body slowly began to wither and decay, as the life energy he had taken was absorbed into his own body. He felt a sense of sadness and regret, but also a sense of necessity. He knew that he would have to do this again, and again, if he wanted to survive.
As he turned to fly back home, Chiaotzu wondered if there would ever be a day when he wouldn't have to do this anymore. A day when he could find another way to sustain himself, to live without having to take the lives of others. But for now, he knew that this was the only way. And so he flew back to his home, the weight of his guilt heavy on his heart.