Chapter 1: Awake

Nessie

I opened my eyes to the light of a new day. It was a miracle that I had survived the night. Ever since I received the grim diagnosis just two weeks ago I knew that I was lucky if I lived even another day. I'd been brushing off the pain in my bones, the swollen lymph nodes, the frequent fevers, and even the unexplained weight loss for months now. My mom and dad kept pushing me to go see a doctor. But I kept brushing them off. It wasn't a big deal. It was probably just lingering after effects from that nasty flu I had back in December.

Until finally my parents, whom I loved more than anything in the world, decided that enough was enough and I was going to go see a doctor whether I wanted to or not. So they took me to the doctor and they ran all kinds of different tests on me. Two weeks ago we got a call telling us that we needed to see the doctor right away to discuss the results of my test. That worried all of us right away. Then we got the devastating news.

"You have leukemia. It's already advanced to the last stage. You only have three to four months to live. If you start treatment immediately there is a chance that we may be able to prolong your life. There is also a very small chance that you can beat it if you start treatment. But there are no guarantees and right now your outlook doesn't look so good. I'm sorry,"

We hadn't spoken of the diagnosis since then. I wasn't an idiot though. We barely had enough money to get by as it was. Once my parents paid the rent, oftentimes we did not even have enough to cover the cost of food and utilities and that was it for the month. If it wasn't for the food stamps we got each and every month we wouldn't have enough to eat. Life has been hitting us hard repeatedly over the years. When my parents both lost their good paying jobs several years ago they had to sell the house in order to save money. We'd been renting an apartment since then. My parents had a hard time finding jobs and they had to settle for retail jobs because no one would hire them.

They had also decided to take in foster kids as a way to get some extra income. My parents loved taking care of kids so it was a win-win for them. Right now there was only one other foster kid in our house. Actually, baby was the correct term. A three month old baby boy named Kayden. His mom had left him in a dumpster to die. If it weren't for a homeless person rummaging through the trash he would've died. Child services took him in and placed him with my parents since they didn't have any other foster children at the time. I didn't mind it at all. After all, I was once a foster kid myself. I had been found wandering the streets of Seattle, Washington with nothing more than a reddish brown stuffed wolf toy that I still had. The doctor that examined me thought that I had a brain injury of sorts that caused me to lose my memory. Well my memory never came back and all attempts to find my family failed.

So I'd been adopted and shortly after getting adopted we moved to Honolulu, Hawaii. It is here in Hawaii where I have grown up. It is here where I would die. I sighed. I was feeling pretty good today so I decided that I would go to the beach and swim. I ate a quick breakfast before driving down to the beach. It was beautiful and perfect and peaceful. For a brief second I could forget that I was dying. My time at the beach didn't last very long however. My mom called me and asked me if I could come home and babysit Kayden because they'd both been called into work the closing shift at the local Macy's that they both worked at. I didn't hesitate. I loved looking after little Kayden.

I got home just in the nick of time for my parents to head off to work. I looked in the kitchen to see if there was anything that I could make for lunch. Unfortunately there wasn't much food left. Even Kayden had run out of baby formula. I took a deep breath and grabbed Kayden. It looked like I would have to make a trip to the grocery store.

The parking lot was full when I arrived there. Saturdays were usually like that around here though. As soon as I got out of my car I felt as if someone were watching me. I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, a pale boy with bronze hair and gold eyes watching me carefully with what looked like bated breath. He was standing next to a Volvo. Tourists didn't usually come over here so he must be new to the island. I didn't recognize him and I was sure that I would have recognized him if I had seen him before. He kind of looked like me but only more beautiful. I would go as far as to say it was god-like even. Wow.

I shook my head and walked into the store with Kayden. I couldn't stop thinking about that boy in the parking lot. I tried not to think about him. Rain began to fall outside and I wondered when the clouds were going to go away. It had been non-stop cloudy here for the last month and the weatherman predicted that it would remain that way for some time with no end in sight. We even made the national news and we were being compared to Seattle right now in terms of our weather. It just reflected my overall gloomy mood.

I looked at my shopping list and found everything that I needed. My parents often put me in charge of the grocery shopping. As such they'd even gotten me my own food stamp card and made me an authorized user on the account.

While the cashier was scanning all of my items I saw that boy again. He was looking at a box of Lucky Charms cereal only two aisles away from where I was now. This time he didn't appear to be paying attention to me. But it was hard not to notice him.

"Your total is $112," the cashier said.

I handed over the card.

"I'm sorry this says that you don't have any money on here,"

My heart instantly plummeted to the floor. "That's impossible the money was deposited on the card yesterday,"

"You mean your FOOD STAMPS was deposited on the card yesterday. Which, by the way, is obviously a lie because if it were true you would have it on the card," my face blushed bright red from the humiliation.

"Can you just try it again, please?"

"There is nothing on here. What, your family didn't get enough free groceries this month? Tell your parents to get real jobs like the rest of us and to stop being lazy and using my tax dollars to support you all,"

"I-that's not it at all-"

"Get out of here so I can help the people who can actually pay for their food,"

I left the store with Kayden as fast as I could, with no food, and tears falling down my face.