After Everett left. TJ spent 3 hours crying and while she didn't feel ok. She could still do her job which was something. In fact, in terms of work performance. Lieutenant Johansen had never done so well in her life. She'd even started looking at her medical books. She's always planned to become a proper doctor but then the stargate came along and she's put it on hold. But she was enjoying studying again. It stopped her thinking about him. It was hard seeing him every day and she did feel tempted to go to him for comfort but she couldn't do that anymore. TJ accepted that but still she felt that if she didn't confide in someone or something she'd explode.
It was strange being at Wray's door. She didn't dislike Wray. In fact she thought she was kind and considerate. Plenty of her patients spoke well of her. But she couldn't get rid of that feeling of trepidation. She felt this was wrong like she was betraying the colonel's trust by going to her. Although TJ liked her. She was still an IOA member. But she reminded herself she had no one else. She couldn't talk to Everett. She couldn't talk to her family because she couldn't let the thing she had with the colonel to touch her family. She didn't want them to think of her as the home wrecker. That left Wray. At least she's supposed to keep everything confidential.
"Come in" Wray said she gestured to the chair. TJ sat down. She liked what she'd done with the office. She had a kitten calendar and there was a lovely picture of a tropical beach on the wall.
"Do you like it, me and my partner bought 2 copies when we found out how far away we were going to be. That way when she looks at it she'll think of us on that lovely warm beach and I can do the same and we don't seem so far apart. Corny idea I know but it works." Camille smiled. TJ just stopped staring at the picture and sat down.
"So what's the problem" Camille asked. For some reason though she knew that was what she was going to say. She had it all planned out in her head. She was going to calmly discuss her problems and she was going to calmly suggest what she'd do and she'd leave. She didn't envisage herself immediately bawling her eyes out the moment she tries to do her job.
Camille didn't say anything. She knew from experience that sometimes you've just got to let your patients let it out. She'd never really had the chance to talk to Lieutenant Johansson and to be honest she never thought she would. To Camille the lieutenant seemed to have things under control. "But then again" she thought "That's the big trick figuring out how to pretend that we actually have things under control."
"I'm sorry for crying" TJ sobbed "It's just I need" and she started crying again.
"Its ok lieutenant" Camille said "we all have the time in the world."
"It's just I thought I'd gotten over the worst of it and now I'm crying and it's still so painful" she cried. She cried for 5 minutes and then she started sniffing.
"I had an affair with colonel Young" TJ said. It was strange saying it out loud TJ thought. It seemed so normal so mundane. Not the hurricane it felt like. The word affair just seemed so banal. It didn't describe the thing she had with Everett. Maybe no words could.
"Is the affair over" Wray enquired.
"Yes It's over" TJ cried.
"Do you want a transfer it could make it easier for both of you?" Wray asked.
The thought was intoxicatingly brilliant and painful at the same time. The thought of getting away from the thing and, moving on with her life seemed good. But she'd have to move on. Her heart didn't feel ready for that. But as she looked at Camille. She realised she had no choice. She couldn't go on this mission with the Colonel. She had no idea where the ninth chevron would lead them but it would lead them to a place where they'd need men and women at top efficiency who could handle whatever another galaxy could throw at them. She didn't have the emotional strength to deal with that.
"Where would I go?" TJ asked.
"I've looked at your files and you're clearly a great medic but I think you have the potential to be much more" Wray pointed out.
"What do you mean" TJ asked.
"I looked at one of the medical essays you published. It's quite brilliant. I believe you have an insight into sickness and what it takes to cure people" Camille said. TJ was astounded by the compliment
Camille continued "I know someone at Colombia and I'm sure I can get you an interview."
"I am not good enough to go to somewhere like Colombia" TJ replied.
"Your grades and your MCAT scores disagree with you and also I know Doctor Langdon would be more than happy to give you a letter of recommendation. In fact in his mission report he said that you were the most capable medic he has ever seen" She'd worked with Doctor Langdon on a planet where the Lucian alliance and the natives were having a battle over mineral rights. She remembered that time as hell. The fact he seemed to think she was capable when she'd been so distressed was amazing.
"Think about it" Camille advised "I don't think it's a good idea for you to have too much contact with the colonel. Be civil but the affair is don't owe him anything"
"Thanks Camille" TJ said as she left the room. Trying to get the red out of her eyes so no one would know she'd been crying.
Camille sat there and pondered for a bit. She knew the colonel had been acting strangely this past month but she'd never dreamed anything like this. She wondered if she should report this to the IOA. They'd probably see it as proof that he wasn't fit to lead and try to discredit him. If there was one thing the IOA were good at it was discrediting the military. She didn't think there was much point though. His record suggested he was a fine leader and she heard rumours. He was planning on retiring soon. If that was the case she didn't see any point in trying to discredit him. She didn't like the idea of bringing someone down just for the sake of it. If she saw any sign that the affair was effecting his judgement then of course she'd have him removed. But for the time being he was behaving admirably and she didn't have any problem with him. "Let him continue" she thought "and when Rush finally figures out how to dial the ninth chevron he'll be happily retired" She turned to her computer and started writing an email to her friend at Colombia.
A/N so this is the last chapter before the epilogue. Thanks for all the reviews. I'm sorry it's taken so long to get out. I'll try and do better in the future. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was actually surprisingly fun writing Camille and I love the idea that she could have got Colonel Young fired before the mission began but didn't. It just seemed like something Camille would do. But yeah maybe a fanfic for Camille in the future. Anyway in case you didn't know I'm British so if I got something wrong about the Colombia application process I'm sorry. Also I've tried to link this with the show I don't think I've said anything which goes against what the show says but I don't know. Anyway I hope you liked it and coming soon epilogue.