CAMELOT
There was very little chatter between the members of the group as they rode back into Camelot.
Their horse's hooves clattered on the stone of the courtyard, even at the gentle trot at which they rode.
Gwen felt her heart stutter at the look in Arthur's eyes, which only ever came when his father was mentioned in relation to how he was as a king.
He was not Uther, and she loved and treasured him because of it.
Yet she would give anything for him to see just how much that was true.
It was why she hurt so deeply, over what he had considered doing, giving up his life, so that she may conceive.
His father would never have given up his own life, but he would have happily seen someone fall so that he may have a son.
Uther had known that a price would be asked.
But he had not known that the price would be Arthur's mother's life.
She swallowed and swung down from her saddle as everyone else dismounted.
Servants rushed forwards to take the reins of every horse as Guinevere removed her gloves and folded them in one palm.
"Tanya!"
The voice came from the hoarse woman, the round woman, who often shouted at Tanya and Merlin.
The cook stumbled and shook down the stairs, wobbling and bumbling.
"Tanya…" She cried, gasping for breath from the excursion that came from having to run.
She still carried a ladle in her hand.
The young maid turned at the sound of her name and her eyes narrowed at seeing the coo, red faced and worried, rather than furious, stumble towards her.
"What is it?" Tanya asked as she large woman stopped beside her, "What is wrong?"
Arthur was stood a little way addressing and pointing to his knights.
Leon, Elyan, Percival and Gwaine were listening to his every word, staring at him and nodding intently.
Gwen narrowed her eyes, seeing Tanya staring and talking to the gasping and crimson cook.
Merlin strode to stand at Tanya's side and the queen swept to stand on her maid and friends other side.
"What is going on here?" She asked the cook.
The cook turned and inclined her head.
"My lady, I have been seeking Tanya, and am glad that she is back now…"
There was something in the cook's wide eyes that made Tanya, Merlin and Gwen's stomachs twist alike.
"What is it?" Tanya asked again.
Her heart squirmed.
Cook swallowed and straightened as best she could.
"You left Godfrey, the innkeeper, sitting with your father…"
"Yes." Tanya's eyes narrowed, "What of it?"
Cook was still gasping for breath.
"Not long ago, he came here looking for you… he said that your father had taken a turn from the worse…"
Tanya's ears filled with the smoke that rose from the burning tears in her eyes and heart.
She swallowed and her hands shook slightly.
She clasped them into fists at her side.
Merlin looked at her anxiously.
Gwen straightened and rested her hand lightly on Tanya's arm.
"You need to go to him… come on…"
Merlin watched carefully as Tanya nodded vaguely, unwanted tears in her eyes.
She looked up at him and he gently slipped his hand in hers, holding her at his side as with the queen, they turned and walked across the courtyard.
Arthur gestured for his knights to leave and turned to see them leaving.
He looked at the cooks face and swallowed, striding after them.
TANYA'S HOUSE
"If I had known that there would be royalty I would have made myself look more presentable."
Tanya's father's voice was hoarse and incoherent.
His eyes were slightly open, staring blearily at the people stood gravely in his small room.
Candles burned regardless of the time of day, to provide some warmth and light to his pale and sweat laced skin.
He was lying on his back in his small bed.
Tanya sat on the edge of the mattress facing him.
When no one else smiled, the tiniest of grins crossed his lips blearily.
"Forgive me for not rising your majesties." He croaked.
Gwen smiled in sorrow and Arthur inclined his head politely.
The king was stood just behind his queen, the backs of her shoulders brushing his chest.
They stood in the doorway that led from the small room into the rest of the house.
Merlin hovered a small way from where Tanya was sat on the edge of the bed, his hands in fists, rocking backwards and forwards on his heels further in the room.
"We shall leave you to rest." Arthur said gently, even though the authority did not leave his voice.
Gwen nodded in agreement, her eyes landing on her maid servant.
"I do not expect to see you for the rest of the day Tanya. Take all the time you need."
Tanya swallowed, "but my lady…"
Gwen held a hand up, "I can only imagine what you are going through. I would have wanted to be by my father's side, when he needed me."
Merlin and Arthur both stiffened at her words.
Tanya stared at the queen and nodded her head.
"Thank you my lady." She whispered.
Gwen smiled sadly and Arthur nodded his head at Henry and Tanya.
"Feel better." He said gently.
They both turned and Arthur stepped out of the way to allow his wife and queen to pass him.
The chivalrous act made her heart cry out for his and flutter.
His hand brushed the base of her spine, steering her gently and politely to the door.
Tanya looked from her father's face up at Merlin.
"You do not have to stay…" She sniffed and wiped at her eyes.
She drew on her inner strength and blew air out of her cheeks, the air stuttering as it left her throat.
"I want too." He said firmly.
She stared at him.
Even through his bleary eyes Henry watched them carefully.
Tanya swallowed.
Merlin shifted and pulled a small stool from the corner to sit a small distance from the bed, just behind Tanya.
He lent forwards, his elbows on his knees, his voice low and full of a concern that one only got when speaking to a friend or loved one.
"I am your friend Tanya, and I would not be if I was not here for you now."
CAMELOT
"I should have thought about what Tanya's father being ill would have made you feel."
Her husband's low and concerned voice made Gwen glance at him.
They walked through the courtyard, his hands at his sides, hers wrapped around one another in front of her stomach, scrunching her gloves between her fingers and palms.
She swallowed slightly and straightening.
"It was a long time ago… a lot has changed since then." She said, "I don't think about it as much as I perhaps should…"
"It does not do to dwell on things that upset us, things that are better put to bed." Arthur said in a low voice, his eyes locked forwards on the stairs that they were approaching.
Gwen's eyes snapped up to look at him before she swallowed again; turning her head forwards once more.
"Although I wonder what he would think… with Elyan being a knight, and me a queen…" She looked down briefly as she started up the stairs.
She made it up two before Arthur spoke.
"If your father was here he would be as proud of you as I am." He murmured.
She gasped quietly and tears sprang into her eyes.
She clamped her eyes shut and her hands moved to her hips.
Her back remained to her husband as she swallowed and fought the tears that flooded behind her vision.
She had lost her father to his father…
She couldn't forgive Arthur for wanting to take himself away from her forever… again… not after all they had been through, all she had done to bring him back…
She wouldn't… She couldn't live without him.
Her breathing was shallow and quick and her world tilted slightly.
Her heart spluttered.
A strange warmth in the base of her stomach touched her heart her mind barely registered it for she did not know its cause.
Arthur watched as she gasped and her eyes opened, her head turning to stare at him over her shoulder.
Her eyes burned away the tears that remained in her heart.
He stayed on the bottom stairs, staring up at her where she was two stairs higher than him.
Her smaller height in body though, made her only slightly taller than him even when elevated.
She smiled sadly, her eyes staring into his.
He could barely breathe; he loved and ached for her that badly.
He was sorry.
She knew it.
He watched as she swallowed and stepped down so she was stood on the step above him.
They were the same height, their eyes boring into one another's.
Her hands fiddled and she pulled her gloves back on.
It was an attempt to soothe the trembling in her fingers, and free her hands.
When she spoke she spoke of her hurt over his intention to give up his life so that she might conceive.
He could tell her from her eyes that she spoke of the rift that was forming in their union.
"I know you never wanted to hurt me Arthur." She murmured, "I know that in a way, even after all I have said… that you were doing it for me… no matter how much that it hurts…"
"And yet it comes between us."
His voice was low and rough.
She lifted her eyes to stare at him and swallowed.
"Yes." She whispered, "Yes it does."
Arthur watched her as she turned and walked up the stairs and into the castle, her back rippling against the chill that ran up her spin.
Arthur sighed heavily and let his eyes close and his face fall towards the floor.
TANYA'S HOUSE
"I should get some water."
Tanya's voice was tired from waiting for the inevitable, and Merlin watched as she stood from her chair.
He rose instantly.
"I will go…"
"No." She breathed and her eyes flittered to her sleeping father, "I need some time to think… some fresh air… I won't be gone long."
He nodded sadly, "I know. I will sit with him."
She smiled a smile that was full of sorrow.
It did not touch his heart in the way that it normally did.
He watched as she cast one long glance down at her father before turning and walking from the room.
He watched and waited until she had grabbed a bucket and left the cottage with a heavy close of the door before he sat back in his chair and leant forwards, staring at the pale man before him.
However wee Henry looked, he radiated a strength that would never crumble, no matter how his body failed him.
His mind and courage seared through his eyes that were closed.
Merlin shifted and reached out with his preferred hand to hover it above Henry's chest, a couple of inches above where his heart spluttered.
Merlin drew in a breath and banished all thought of what his actions could mean.
He sent away thoughts regarding Gwen's father and all that had happened.
The young warlock swallowed and shut his eyes.
He drew in a long breath and was about to speak when Henry's voice stopped him.
"Don't."
The man wheezed.
Merlin's eyes snapped open and his hand fell back in his lip.
He stiffened.
Henry smiled blearily, his eyes barely open.
"Hello Emrys."