I'M SORRY! I know I forgot Sunday (Again) but Easter is a really rough time for me, my Dad died when I was little, and it was a Good Friday, so lucky me, I get two especially rough days a year, as well as job interviews this weekend. All in all, tons of fun.
Anyway, on with the chapter!
About a week passed pretty uneventfully, until the night of my meeting with Mr Cataliades, when I decided to deal with Longshadow.
It was a Monday so the club was closed. Eric and Pam were doing paperwork, Gran and Nymeria (the wolf. Her name occurred to me one day at home, and I got a 'took you long enough, stupid' look from her when I said it) were sitting at a table sorting some merchandising bits out. Mr.C had just come in and was setting himself up at a table facing the bar when I went up and spoke to Longshadow, the chopstick from my hair in my hand while I made it look like I was rearranging it.
"You really should stop embezzling from the bar you know. Eric will find out." I said quietly, as if I didn't know Eric would hear me from across the room. Gran had been warned on the drive in, so no one screamed when he lunged over the bar to try and kill me, impaling himself nicely on my stick with a widely respected lawyer as a witness and Eric and Pam innocent.
"I do hope that wasn't premeditated." Mr C said.
"Mr Cataliades I'm shocked! I simply warned Longshadow he would be caught and he tried to kill me! He saw I had the chopstick in my hand, in fact I've been wearing it often as it's much easier than a hair band, I certainly didn't intend to stake him, I barely moved." I said with all the right tones. Mr C grinned.
"I shall contact Hot Rain and inform him of the circumstances of his child's demise immediately, shall I come back?"
"Yes please, I need help writing a document for the Queen to sign." I said with a smile. He left to make a phone call and I helped Pam hoover the last of the thieving dirtbag who'd been eyefucking me every night. When Nymeria followed us out to the bins and pissed on the ashes, it was the icing on the cake.
The document was essentially a contract identifying me as a telepath, stating that I chose when, how long and who I worked for, that she got a discounted rate (but still pretty substantial sums of money), I would attend summits and other essential events, and other terms and conditions to ensure I was in control of my life and protected while she still got the benefit of a happy telepath, leaving her better off than before in the end. The fact Mr C wrote the contract and the Ancient Pythoness would vouch for me left it pretty ironclad.
"You realise Her Majesty will want to verify this? She won't sign without knowing." The lawyer asserted.
"Yeah I know, but I'd rather get this over and done with now than wait for her to find out later and try and kidnap me. Plus if we start building a relationship now, she might trust me properly later when shit really starts to hit the fan."
Two nights later the whole entourage turned up.
"Northman! Explain this to me, NOW!" I was seriously beginning to wonder if there was a single woman other than Pam, Adele and Claudine that wasn't batshit crazy with a death wish. As soon as the vampire DJ saw the Queen the music stopped as he and every other vamp hit the floor. Eric stood.
"Everyone please leave," he boomed "Fangtasia is closing early this evening, my apologies for the short notice." There were a few muffled moans and groans as expected, but no one protested thankfully, although more than a few people took their glasses with them.
As Eric had been in the midst of enthralling for the evening and Sophie had gone straight to him, the utter imbecile hadn't noticed me sitting in his booth with Pam playing Blackjack (we'd dragged the latest undercover cop over to show him we weren't actually gambling, just playing a friendly game to pass the time, he of course left pissed. It was becoming a game with the Chief, he would disguise them more and more, and we'd time how fast I could pick them out and send them their favourite drink.) You would think having the only pulse in a room full of on edge bloodthirsty killers would be a dead giveaway, excuse the pun. Pam hissed as I beat her again.
"Bitch! You're cheating, I know you're cheating! You're counting cards aren't you!"
"Pam suck it up, I have good memory and you have the Vault, we're square." I turned to the Bitch-Queen of Louisiana and said "I do believe the person you're looking for is me, there was no need to storm in and close down the club, a simple phone call would suffice." The area vamps kept their faces to the floor, hiding their smirks, Rasul was standing behind the group and so didn't need to bother, the Berts were stoic as ever and the Brat Twins looked outraged. I wondered where Hadley was.
"You dare address a Queen in such a manner! You filthy bloodbag you have no reason to be here you should have left! I will kill you for your insolence!" I stood up, and so did everyone else, not that the spoilt, self important twat noticed. How the fuck did she survive this long as Queen being this fucking unobservant? I was given an answer when the Berts tensed and rested their hands on their weapons.
"You came here to test me out, see why you should sign a contract with me, so come on, give it your best shot." I held my arms out and twitched my fingers in the universal 'bring it on, bitch' gesture.
Andre screamed like a girl and launched himself at me. I dodged and laughed as I span and used his own momentum to propel him into the bar. Chow picked him up, set him on his feet and brushed him off. Andre looked murderous. Problem was, centuries old vampire or not I just can't take someone who looks like a 14 year old seriously. I watched with a grin as he stalked back to his place by the Queen.
"Trying to kill me won't do you any favours Soph, and if you piss me off you lose a valuable asset, if I do say so myself."
"I have no need of you, you stupid little bitch!" She hissed.
"Oh that's right, you think you already have a telepath, Billy-boy should be sending her along any day now, Hadley's little cousin right? Well the problem with that is, that little bit of Fae Andre tasted, that's from their grandfather, who happens to be quite important, do you know who he is?" I could tell from her face she was both confused and pissed I knew any of this. "No? I guess I'll just have to tell you then. Their grandfather is Fintan Brigant, son of Niall, Crown Prince of the Sky Fae and all around not someone you want to fuck about with." Pure fear radiated from her. Evidently the vapid cow did have a few brain cells and knew how fucked she was. "Fortunately for you he decided to let you keep Hadley, as she cut herself out of the family, however, if you so much as look at any other family member wrong, including Hadley's son, who will be coming here by the way, you shall die an extremely slow painful death, after each of your children suffer and die first." The end of the sentence was punctuated by a timely and extremely loud roll of thunder and flickering of the lights, thank you magic. As the thunder was rolling Nymeria walked in from the office, teeth bared growling. The four vampires went from scared to looking like they would defy all logic and actually piss themselves.
"You still exist because I don't want to mess about installing a new monarch, though I won't hesitate if the need arises. Now, are you going to sign that contract or not?"
Forget what I said earlier about her having brain cells. She blew any thought of that out the window with her next action. She decided rather than be scared she would turn it into anger, disbelief and indignation.
"How dare you speak to me like that! That is treason! If you are not human then I am your Queen and you will bow and respect me as such!" Even the Berts looked at her like she was mental. I'd had enough. Downplay obviously wasn't working. I let rip. I levitated everything that wasn't bolted down and the teenage jokes, I lit on fire, let my eyes glow vibrant green and had electricity sparking around me.
"I dare speak to you that way because it is my right you insignificant little speck!" I spoke with a thousand voices. "You may think yourself all important Marie Durand but I know the truth of you and all I see is nothing. You were a vain, vapid pathetic excuse for a human and your turning did not improve you. I tried to leave you some semblance of control and offer you a way to work together to appease appearances. You fucked with forces beyond your knowing and now you pay the consequences. I strip you of your title, your strength, your speed, your children and your fangs. I banish you to live out your days such as they may be on the moon, you had best hope the distance will protect you." It wouldn't, but she had a whole month to find out, as the sun wouldn't touch where I sent her until then. With a scream, she was gone. I slowly powered down, holding a crazed Andre all the while. "Eric, do you remember telling me I could have a darkroom if I was careful?"
"Yes bråkmakare?" He said a little puzzled.
"Ask Bobby for 10 gallons each of Stop and Fix chemicals, 3 gallons of Kodak HC110 developer, an empty hot tub to fit four, three empty barrels, a thousand rolls of black and white film at mixed ISO's from various brands, a titanium rod of three feet wide with hoops for suspension, a 100 gallon fuel truck full of water, two Hazmat suits, to fit you and Pam, silver chains in various weights and sizes, a small generator and some jump cables." I thought for a second. "Yeah I think that's it, and have it all delivered to your warehouse on the outskirts? I'd like to have some fun with our dear friend Andre." Eric was typing furiously on his phone, Pam - ever the one to anticipate - was binding Andre in silver and duct tape and everyone else looked downright confused. Clearly with all the hiding they did pre-Reveal none of them had a photographer.
Once Andre was properly immobilised I let the last of the power go and collapsed, fortunately into Viking arms and not the floor. Felicia had slipped out during the commotion as soon as she saw me 'power up' to go get me food, which she brought over to the table Eric sat us down at. I knew it had been a good idea to tell the Area vampires what I could do if not what I was (jury was still out on that) though Eric saw it as a major security risk. At that moment I was scoring it a giant 1-0 to me thanks to the gorgeous looking grilled chicken breast with bacon, cheese sauce and buttery jacket potato steaming away in front of me.
"You star." I said, pulling her to me and placing a solid kiss on her forehead. I didn't even care she was a spy for Victor, she brought me food and I was STARVING.