THE FOREST OF NEMIA
Merlin stood beside Tanya deep in the forest.
The sunlight of a new morning streamed through the tree tops.
The young warlock had his hands folded behind his back.
He stood staring down at a plié of carefully arranged rocks, before which Tanya knelt, placing a bundle of small red flowers, tied with an emerald string.
She placed them on the stones and swallowed, kissing the tips of her fingers before pressing them into the rocks.
Mustering all the strength she had not to break down into tears, Tanya stood upright.
Merlin watched her as she drew in a stuttering breath and smiled sadly at the rocks, before turning to face him.
She shifted slightly, "It is nice to know that he is not suffering anymore."
There was silence for three heart beats.
Merlin shifted and swallowed.
His hands fisted and relaxed at his sides continuously for a few moments.
His insides were churning with confusion and a whole other load of emotions.
Confusion, worry, guilt… and there was something else.
There was something else that he dare not speak of.
He swallowed.
"I am sorry. Tanya if there was anything…"
She smiled sadly and stepped closer.
Her eyes flickered with tears and concerned worry, although he was not sure what for.
"There was nothing anyone could have done." She breathed, and her eyes flitted over her shoulder in the vague direction of the rocks that marked her father's grave for a moment, "That was the hardest part."
"He asked for you in the end."
Merlin wasn't sure why he was lying.
The young warlock hadn't been there at 'the end'.
He sought only to soothe her grief, and to let her know that she had been in her father's thoughts all the time that Merlin had sat with him.
He had no idea that she had been outside listening to their conversation.
He did not know that she knew…
She swallowed and straightened.
She knew that he lied, but she knew why, and she could not hate him for it.
It was well waiting her power to speak of what she truly knew, but she decided that she could not.
Tears pricked in her vision and she drew in a small breath.
"What did you tell him?"
Merlin shifted, stepping slightly closer.
"That you had gone to get water, and that you would be back soon… he said that he would, try to wait."
She swallowed immediately after his words.
She bit her lip and turned her eyes away for the briefest of moments.
Merlin shifted.
Tanya drew in another breath and turned her eyes back on him.
He stepped closer, reaching to run his knuckles down her cheek, "Tanya… I know about your magic…"
Her heart broke.
"Don't." She whimpered, tears spilling down her face.
She took a stumbling step away from him, "Please don't…"
"Tanya… Tanya please, it is alright…" He walked towards her.
"No!" She pushed him away, turning and running blindly through the trees.
"Tanya!" Merlin cried and gave chase.
The tree branches tore and snapped at her heels and clothes, tearing the fabric of her clothes and cloak.
Her hair flew around her face in the wind as she struggled through her gasping breaths.
"Tanya!" Merlin shouted.
She kept running.
He continued to run after her.
He leapt over logs and twigs while she scampered over them, attempting to outrun him.
She threw herself behind a tree and sunk to sit on the floor, her head against the bark, as she gasped for breath, peering over her shoulder as she watched him fly past her through the undergrowth.
His head snapped around.
"Tanya!" He bellowed.
She remained silent and full of tears as he rushed further away from her.
She didn't want to see him.
Fatigue caught up with her and she let her eyes close, as she curled up to roll on her side under her cloak, a rasping sob in her throat.
THE COURTYARD
Gwen was walking down to where her horse was waiting.
She turned to look over her shoulder to see Gaius stood at the top of the stairs, arms folded, a parental concern on his face.
She swallowed and pulled her gloves further up over her wrists, her cloak swirling around her.
Her brother stood half way down the stairs and she walked to the step he stood on.
He stared at her sadly, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
She swallowed and nodded, "Just… look after him for me… you and Merlin…"
Elyan sighed heavily and she hugged him tight, pressing her face into his shoulder.
"Guinevere."
The voice made her pull away and she turned to see Arthur appear at the top of the stairs, jogging down to meet her.
She swallowed and glanced at her brother, "Please give us a moment."
Elyan nodded and nodded respectfully at Arthur, who barely saw him, as he skidded down the stairs to stand on the one below Guinevere.
"Please…" He was gasping for breath from his run.
But more than that, he was sorry.
She could see it.
He was not wearing chainmail, just his blue shirt and brown leather waistcoat…
He was her Arthur.
"Please… I don't want to beg you…. But I will if I have to, for I am the wrong I the wrong…. Please don't leave." He murmured.
She swallowed, "It is done now… it is too late… Annis will…"
"Surely it is never too late between a husband and a wife." He drew in a breath.
She lifted her eyes to stare at him and her heart hammered.
"Arthur… I…" She whispered.
Words failed them both.
"Please." He whispered and took her hands in his, squeezing them tightly.
"I won't let you down again… I promise… I swear that I will spend every one of my days making it all up to you… but I need you by my side, with me… if you aren't with me…" He winced visibly as he closed his eyes at the thought of what he would feel.
"I said it once before… but I don't ever want to lose you…"
She stared at him and looked down at his hands in hers, a few inches in front of her stomach.
He mistook her silence and sighed sadly.
"I love you." He murmured, "When you return… I will show you just how much… and we will try again for a baby…"
His words made Gwen draw in a long and painful breath.
Arthur swallowed and kissed the backs of both her hands, his palms cold around hers.
He couldn't lose her.
But perhaps, just for a short while, he would let her go.
It was no more than he deserved after the choices he had made.
"Goodbye my love." He murmured and straightened upright.
He dropped her hands and moved to step around her to walk back into the castle.
"No." Gwen gasped and grabbed his arm before he could move.
He stared at her.
Her eyes filled with tears.
Gaius, still stood at the top of the stairs, stared at them both, a small smile on his face.
Their love bound them more tightly together than either of them knew.
There was something growing deep within Guinevere that would bind them together throughout the centuries.
She swallowed and sniffed through her tears.
Her husband stared at her in confusion.
She swallowed and lifted her hands, ignoring their slight quiver to touch his shoulders.
Drawing on all her strength she swallowed and moved her arms to wrap them around his neck, resting her hands on the backs of his shoulders as she always did when she embraced him.
She rested her chin on his shoulder, her cheek against his ear and temple.
"I can't lose you…" She whispered, "Arthur I couldn't bare it…"
His arms wrapped around her small waist and she pulled back slightly to stare into his eyes.
She remained a step higher than him, her arms around his neck and shoulders.
Tears flooded both their visions but didn't fall.
"If you ever do anything like that again Arthur… with Eveline, Morgana, the cup of life, bargaining your life… not matter what for…" She hissed through her tears, "I swear Arthur…"
"I won't." He vowed.
That was all she needed.
She tightened her arms around his neck and crashed her lips against his.
One of his hands rose form grabbing at the corset on her spine to cup the back of her head, straining them both impossibly closer.
GAIUS'S CHAMBERS
Hours later the old physician opened the door to his rooms with a smile on his face.
The small knowing smile though vanished, when he saw Merlin sat on the bench, atop a mound of books and boxes, staring out of the small window at the winter sun.
"Merlin?" He said and walked over to the young warlock, walking around to stand just in front of him facing him.
Merlin did not look at the old man from where he was staring at the pale sun.
Gaius shifted and folded his hands in front of himself.
"I heard about Tanya's father this morning, when you did not come home last night, and when the two of you did not arrive for work, or even to see the king and queen…"
"He died in his sleep, pale and weak and…" The young warlock's voice cracked and he looked down.
The sorrow in his eyes made Gaius narrow his eyes.
"Merlin what is it?"
"He said that Tanya had had magic once, he was a druid Gaius… he said that she had been bitten by a creature and that she lost her magic, and he stopped suing his to be a true father figure to her…"
Gaius gasped slightly at Merlin's words, "Such creatures do exist…"
"She ran Gaius… She ran and she wouldn't say…" Merlin breathed.
His words faltered and Gaius watched as a lonely sorrow crossed his eyes.
He sighed gravely, putting his hand on Merlin's shoulder.
The young warlock swallowed.
His voice was a low breath.
"It would be nice to have one person who could even begin to understand." He murmured.
Gaius tried not to let his words hurt him.
The old physician sighed gravely.
"Just because she is or is not with or without magic does not mean that she cannot understand." He said as gently as he could, "When you care for someone enough, you would do anything, or be anything for them… you feel their every joy and pain as though they were your own…. And it doesn't mean that she doesn't love you…"
Merlin was silent for an immeasurable amount of minutes.
He swallowed and nodded his head, "I know."
Gaius sighed and patted his shoulder.
THE ROYAL CHAMBERS
Arthur held Gwen's hand as they walked through their chamber.
She swallowed.
She had to tell him.
Now Gaius and Fira had confirmed it… the midwife's words made it undeniable.
Nor did the way she was feeling.
Arthur smiled at her and kissed her cheek, before dropping her head and walking away from her, removing his belt and setting his sword on the table.
"I heard about Tanya's father… I assume Merlin is with her, he has not been up this morning…" He murmured gravely.
She swallowed and shifted, ringing her hands together and walking towards him.
"Arthur…"
"And it is getting colder, in a couple of months the winter solstice will be here…"
"Arthur."
"Gift giving…" He chuckled and walked over to her.
He took her hands in his and she stared up at him, her eyes wide as she swallowed.
He froze when he saw tears in the corner of her gaze, and a small smile on her lips.
His eyes flew over her.
"What is wrong?"
She sniffed, "Nothing…"
"No, no something is different… tell me…" He looked her over.
The anxiety in his blue eyes made her move her lips from being pressed together slightly.
A small teary laugh escaped them and she swallowed, squeezing both his hands in hers.
"You might want to sit Arthur."
This only made his panic grow, "Guinevere…"
"Sit." She said.
The smile and tears did not leave her mouth and eyes.
Arthur sat on the bed, feet firmly on the floor, his hands still in hers where she remained standing, staring down at him.
He shifted.
Her gaze confused and worried him.
"Well?"
She swallowed and tightened her hands around his.
"Gaius came to me earlier… he had noticed something about me, which I had not thought about, or tried not to think about, or even consider, for fear that…"
Her voice cracked and she swallowed, closing her eyes for a moment against her tears.
She shook her head at herself.
The smile did not leave her lips.
Arthur stared at her, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.
His heart sputtered.
She swallowed, "it is something I can't believe… I was so worried that…"
Again her voice broke.
He tightened his hands around hers, "Guinevere you are scaring me what is going on… what did Gaius say… what you thought…"
"I am with child."
Her words hung in the air.
His heart stopped all together.
He stared at her.
"Guinevere…" He whispered.
His eyes fell from her face where she stood facing him, to her abdomen, a few inches before his face.
"Are you… are you sure?"
His voice was low, but not shaken by the tears on his cheeks that dripped from his eyes.
She was crying too, and watching his face, as the utter happiness spread through his eyes, made her heart soar.
His eyes were wide, his voice low and rough.
"When?" He croaked.
"It is hard to tell… but perhaps that night during the battle for Camelot… after I had brought you back from the dead… in front of the fire." She breathed.
Arthur stared at her, his eyes wide and on her stomach.
She laughed tearily and ran a hand through his hair.
"You are going to be a father." She whispered and sobbed happily.
He drew in a breath, and much like when he had proposed to her, before all the mess with Lancelot and Morgana, and her framed betrayal, he laughed and cried at the same time.
His arms wrapped around her so his hands rested on her hips and he pulled her close, kissing her belly and resting his forehead there.
She laughed and cried, her hands tangling in his hair, as his hands slid around to rest on her back as he hugged her too him.
She bent her beck to kiss the top of his head as he kissed her belly.
Both of them smiled and cried.
The winter sun burned brighter.
They had done it.
**END OF EPISODE**
COMING SOON: "Down the Rabbit Hole." (Please watch the trailer – link in playlist link on profile.)