Dobby was unusually excited today because he knew that Master Harry Potter sir's life had just gotten a whole lot better. Finally Master Harry and his Grangy had gotten together. Dobby knew that Master Harry would so much better for his Grangy than the loud mouthed, red headed, devourer of all in sight. Of course even Colin Creevey, who Dobby was pretty sure was a little Nancy Boy, would be better for Miss Grangy than Ron "Pardon me while I stuff an entire chicken in my mouth" Weasley.
Dobby was in Hogwarts kitchen with the rest of the elves simply passing the time doing dishes and scrubbing pots while waiting on a summons from his Master. You see, Dobby was no longer a free elf but once again had a proper Master as a good elf should. Although it had taken almost being killed to finally convince Master Harry to properly bond with him. Well that and a teensy little fib on Dobbys part. You see after crazy witch lady had stabbed Dobby with a knife and run away Master Harry was thinking that Dobby was being dying from that little poke and Dobby had let slip that if he was dying that 'the only regret he was being having was that he was never properly bonding to Master Harry Potter sir.'
Master Harry had taken that as a final wish from his faithful friend and had bonded with Dobby on the spot hoping to help ease his friends passage. But Dobby had failed to mention that when elves bond to a particularly powerful wizard or witch it provides a large boost to that elves natural magic, including their healing magic. So when the bonding was finished the deep puncture wound in Dobby's side immediately began to heal and within a matter of minutes Dobby was as good as new. Now Dobby knew that he had fibbed to his Master and was perfectly willing to repeatedly slam his pee pee in a carriage door as punishment for his atrocious behavior. But when Dobby let his Master know this, his wonderful Master had been completely forgiving Dobby's of his little fib and had forbidden Dobby from punishing himself. And that was why Dobby was so willing to bond with the great Master Harry Potter sir, as he was simply the greatest Wizard to have ever lived.
Finally Dobby received the summons he had been waiting for all morning. The Great Master Harry Potter sir was summoning Dobby to the 'come and go' room in which he had spent the night with his Grangy making the 'bang bang' ...all night long. As impressed with Master Harry's kindness as Dobby was, he was even more impressed with his Masters prowess in the bed chamber. As a result of the bonding to Master Harry, in order to serve his Master better, Dobby had known exactly what his Master had been up to and quite honestly was amazed at his Masters staying power. Every time Dobby thought that his Master was done and Dobby was anticipating a call, Dobby had been stunned to realize that after only a few minutes, Master and his Grangy was back at it like a couple of demented nymphomanic rabbits!
All the while Dobby was trying to anticipate what Master Harry and his Miss might be asking for when they finished making 'bang bang' and after each bout Dobby would have to re-prioritize what he thought his Master might be asking for. At this point Dobby came to a decision as to his Master and his Miss' needs, so grabbing a couple of bottles of water and a balm to ease the discomfort of chaffing...you know...down there...Dobby was about to pop off to the 'come and go' room to answer his Masters summons when he stopped...and conjured a small pillow with a hole in the middle for Miss Grangy's bum. Blushing slightly, knowing exactly why that pillow might be needed, Dobby finally popped off to see his Master Harry, all the while thinking that perhaps after Dobby had taken care of Master Harry Dobby might be looking up Winky as Dobby was thinking that, after knowing what Master Harry had been up to last night, a little house elf 'bang bang' might be 'just what the 'Dobby' ordered'.
A/N: There is an homage to Fangalla Marie and Eppy the House Elf in this chapter. See if you can spot it!
If you haven't read Harry Potter & The Azkaban Parody then rush right out and do so. Freakin Hilarious!