Chapter 4

WARNING: a little bit of lime ahead... :D

Being a pubescent boy wasn't that easy, Yuri realized. He hadn't thought about that matter for a long time, being the maou and dealing with all the difficulties leading a country brought had covered all his attention. But now he was back on earth, back at his school, and he could finally live his life as a regular student again.

As Yuri recalculated, with all the time he spent in Shin Makoku, he had to be around 22 now. Counted by the time on earth, he was still 17. Though most boys of his age, including Murata, were looking for girls, for dates and their first love. And sex, of course. Always.

The black-haired boy hadn't thought too much about dating a girl or having a relationship. Somehow, his interest was never torn towards one of the girls in his class, though there were really a few pretty ones, he had to admit. Apart from school, he knew no other girls, and he had never been the one to go out and party.

Maybe it was also just because of the fact that he had been engaged for so long, but that was another story. Being engaged to a boy was not only strange but also something he had never considered to be a match for him. Yuri never really wanted to accept it.

Although he never saw himself leading his life at the side of a beautiful woman.

He eyed at some of the men passing by on his way. Though he could clearly spot a few undeniably handsome guys, that wasn't attracting his attention either.

And yet, there had been that kiss. Conrad's kiss. He had always considered himself to be straight, but the kiss made him doubt that.

After musing and agonizing over his feelings, Yuri came to the conclusion that he could not deny that he had liked being kissed by Conrad.

But doesn't that mean I'm kind of... gay? He tried not to be too shocked. It was not the first time he thought of him being gay or not, and every time he was again stunned. At least in Shin Makoku, the people didn't care if someone was straight, gay or whatever. It was totally normal to lead a homosexual relationship. They didn't even call it at a certain designation, like it was a special kind of relationship. For them, it simply wasn't.

And that was the point that got Yuri completely off balance. His parents were pretty open-minded in those matters, as seen with his mum adoring Wolfram – who would be the next problem. But anyway, he grew up thinking that a man had to marry a woman, as a matter of fact, and everything else was socially intolerable. It was just a wrong thought for him if he considered being with a man.

The boy shook his head as he approached Murata's house, he had to get his head clear for learning. The exams had to be written in four weeks. He had already been on earth again for five weeks.

Murata was already waiting for him at the door. „Hi, Shibuya! Come on in!"

„Hi, Murata," Yuri forced himself to smile while stepping into the floor, slipping off his shoes.

„You want something to drink?" he heard his classmate's voice from the kitchen.

„Sure, some water would be fine!"

Murata came back with a bottle of water and two drinking glasses, leading them upstairs to his room. The table in the middle of it was already covered with books, pens, and papers to write on.

„So, what's up for today?" Yuri asked.

„Math, I suggest."

The boy sighed. „Well then."

„Hey, it could be worse. It could be Gunter trying to teach you something about Shinou-heika's heroic stories..." Murata winked, trying to cheer him up.

And he even succeeded doing so. Thinking of the always dedicated Gunter trying to teach him trigonometry was really funny. Yuri grinned, sitting down to take out his own school stuff.

Murata knew Yuri well enough by now to notice when something was wrong. It was awkward when he wasn't that cheerful and enthusiastic as usual, which was clearly a matter of fact in the current situation. Yuri seemed distracted, he couldn't focus on the tasks, his eyes stared into empty space. How could he not notice that.

„Shibuya," he waved his hand at Yuri's eyes to wake his startling classmate again from some kind of daydream, „what's up with you? You're totally unfocused and something is bothering you. Don't worry, you can't hide something like that from me." Murata crossed his arms in front of his chest. „Tell me, please. Maybe I can help you."

„You think you can?" Yuri chuckled, somehow doubtfully. „This is a personal misery of mine. I have no clue if you could help me in any way. On the other hand, why should I tell you? We're here to learn." He picked up his pen.

Murata looked directly into his eyes. „If you don't tell me what's the matter, we won't get anything done here because you are not concentrated enough, and that doesn't help neither me nor you, and anyways, do you have someone else to talk about?"

„No, not really, but shouldn't I be old enough to-"

Murata cut off his word impatiently, „Just talk to me already. I won't tell anyone else, if you don't want me to, I promise."

Yuri sighed again, heavily. He gave up, he knew he wouldn't get any peace if he remained silent. „Indeed, I don't want you to tell anyone. But it is really a very strange issue. You know... Remember the evening before the day we left Shin Makoku, when I came to you and begged you to departure at latest the following day?"

„Yes," Murata nodded. How could he forget how troubled Yuri seemed that day. „Something had happened, right?"

Yuri nodded, too. „Conrad kissed me."

Now it was the Sage's part to look at his friend in disbelief. His mouth dropped open. „Seriously?" he managed to ask.

„Yes."

„Okay, I think I don't have to ask you what's the problem about that. But... how do you feel about it?"

„Well, that's the problem, my friend," Yuri answered, a desperate glance in his deep black eyes. „How should I feel? How would I if I were totally straight or gay...? I have no clue, it just... confuses me so much. I'm annoyed by all those thoughts spinning through my mind lately. It causes me sleepless nights, in fact. I always liked Conrad for the person he was. But the point that scares me the most is that I... enjoyed that kiss, in fact, you know."

As Yuri turned his head towards the window, avoiding his friend's gaze, Murata could clearly notice the obvious blush on his face, and he couldn't help but chuckle at this. „You seem to me like a schoolgirl in love," he laughed.

„That's not funny at all, Murata," his friend answered. He frowned.

„I'm sorry, Shibuya. Didn't intend to make fun of you," he apologized, „but it really seemed like... okay, I'll stop it." Yuri's gaze was really... frightening right now.

„But if you need some advice, here's the best I can think of. Does it really matter to you, to Conrad, or anybody else in Shin Makoku, if you are gay, straight, both or anything in between? Do they need to think in such containers? Is it necessary to separate one's attractions that way?", he breathed in deeply, preparing for what he wanted to say, „To me, the most important point concerning love is always, that you are happy with what you do and that you really love the person. Think about it. Completely apart from if you really love Conrad or not – let's just say you did – would you love him because he's a man? Because of his gender? No, you would love him because of his character, his manners, his strengths and weaknesses. Because that's what makes someone's character, what makes someone lovable, right?"

Yuri nodded thoughtfully, his gaze even more desperate right now.

Seems like I only made it worse for him, Murata thought. But the development is really not that bad. It could mean that Wolfram will be single again in the near future.

It was really hard to suppress the smile which so wanted to appear on his face.

As Yuri lay in his bed that evening, he was very thankful for Murata's words. Surely it made things only more complicated, but as long as he had finally got something to hold on, finally someone he could talk to, the young king felt a little bit relieved.

The pressure of the last weeks lay heavy on him. Not only the pressure of learning for his exams, the stress of school in general or the fact that he had to deal with his issue concerning Conrad. Yuri felt like he could use some other kind of relief. He was just another regular boy, after all.

He let his hands wander down his body, down his shirt, to the waistband of his pants, slipping his hand underneath it. Yuri winced when his hand touched the head of his already hard member. The tension had become overwhelming during the last weeks. He moaned quietly as he closed his digits firmly around his length and began to stoke, slowly, up and down. His mind, his fantasy was running wild at this. It's been a while, he thought, closing his eyes in pure bliss.

The boy never had sex, but imagining someone caressing his body with his hands, with his mouth and tongue... he placed his spare hand on one of his nipples, nuzzling the sensitive spot softly. Then he let it wander down his stomach and lower abdomen to join the one at his cock, which moved at a faster pace now. Yuri imagined how intense it must feel to be sucked off. A warm wetness around his member, a mouth bopping up and down on him while sucking lightly, a tongue circling the head of his member... it really got him off. And so very close to the edge. But he didn't want to torture himself anymore, and began to massage his balls with his second hand.

Yuri came – hard and quickly. He arched his back while the orgasm he had needed so badly shook his body, spraying the white liquid into his hands. He grabbed for some paper tissues to get himself clean before lying down again, feeling satisfied.

But he felt also like this wasn't enough, he wanted, he needed to have sex, finally. The boy longed for the intimacy with a beloved person and it had to be someone special. There was only one person in the world - in this two worlds - that was special to him, he realized.

If there was one point which got clear to him by now, then it was that he had to break off the engagement. Because all he could think of while satisfying himself had very obviously been no one else than Conrad.

Lots of character development here, but I finally wanted to write some lime, too *smirks* Don't worry, there will be more in future chapters. This wasn't everything. I always try to write realistic and not rush through the events.

How did you like it? ;-) Don't forget to review!