I'm trying to make the chapters as long as possible to compensate for the fact that I can't update as often as I would like. Hope you enjoy :)
Chapter 5
Jenny noticed the message button flash red on the answering machine as she passed, and absently she pressed it, assuming it was her mother or someone equally mundane. She was shocked, to say the last, when a strangers voice, deep and male, boomed out of it instead.
"Hi, I'm calling for Jenny Lewis? This is Ethan - Abby Maitland gave me your number . . . she told me to call you. Sorry, I'm not very good at these things . . . anyway, apparently we're made for each other, isn't that convenient?" he chuckled nervously. "I was hoping we could set something up for Friday . . .?"
Jenny's surprise was turned into anger as she realised that it was the guy Abby had been trying to set her up with. Laughing in disbelief to herself, she picked up the phone and began to dial.
"No, no, no . . ." she muttered to herself stubbornly until Abby picked up the phone. "NO!" she added to her.
"Who is this?" Abby's bemused voice asked.
"It's your soon to be ex-friend Jenny," she replied sarcastically. "Why the hell did you give this Ethan guy my number when I told you not to?"
"Oh, so he called?" Abby asked in a triumphant tone.
"Yes, he called," Jenny gapped. "He want's me to do something with him on Friday! Why did you do this?"
"He sounds hot though doesn't he?"
"He sounds fine, but I can't Abby - I'm too busy."
"Me and Sarah will have Ben overnight for you. Oh go on Jenny, you really need this!" Abby pointed out in a pleading voice. "You need to go out without worrying about Ben or thinking about Cutter. It's just some harmless fun, no strings attached - "
"What the hell do you think I am?"
"Someone who needs to take herself less seriously. It's just one date. And if you don't like him, I won't say another word about your love life, I promise."
Jenny sighed deeply, feeling too tired to protest any further. She was right after all - she did need to start getting out of the house more. And it wasn't as if supposedly handsome men called up to take her on a date every day.
"Fine," she conceded eventually. "One date. But after that Abby, I don't want to hear another word about it. Okay?"
"Of course," she said, her smile evident in her voice. "You won't be disappointed!"
It was Friday evening and Sarah sat in the ARC, flicked her pen on the blank piece of paper in front of her, too distracted to do any more work as she surveyed Cutter. He was walking slowly around the matrix model, rubbing his chin slightly as though he was deep in thought. Every now and then, he stopped and jotted something down in a notepad, before resuming his pacing, his eyes staring blankly as though he wasn't actually seeing anything.
"It just doesn't make sense," he mumbled eventually, more to himself than to Sarah.
"What doesn't?" she asked, not really caring about what he was talking about - she was too busy trying to figure out how to steer the conversation where she wanted to.
"The anomalies had been happening more and more regularly, up until six months ago," he answered, still with the distant look in his eye. "According to the model, fifty anomalies should have opened up already. But they haven't. I just don't understand where all the energy is going. It couldn't have just vanished - "
"Yes, yes, you're right," she replied airily, not really listening. "So have you got any plans for tonight then?"
"I - what?" he said, looking round at her with a slightly puzzled expression on his face at the abrupt change of subject.
"Tonight? Any plans?" she repeated, looking up at him with a forced innocent expression.
"Um, no, why?" he asked suspiciously. "You're not . . . you're not asking me out are you?"
Sarah let out a cold cackle before she could stop herself. "God no! Don't be disgusting!" she laughed, feeling a slight pang of nausea at the thought.
"Thanks very much," he said, his lips twitching upwards as though he was trying not to laugh himself.
"Sorry, I didn't mean you're not attractive, but the rugged academic type doesn't push my buttons like it does others," she replied bluntly, referring of course to Jenny.
"Well I'm glad we got that straightened out," he chuckled, his eyes returning to the matrix model. "Why are you asking me if I've got plans then?"
"No reason," she lied, waiting for an opening - maybe he'd ask her what her plans were out of politeness?
But unfortunately, he seemed reluctant to be drawn into a conversation about their social lives. Looks like she'd have to just come out with it.
"I've got a busy night ahead of me myself," she began tentatively.
"Oh?" he said without looking around, his tone conveying his total disinterest.
"Yes, I'm going over to Abby's," she informed him in as casual tone as possible. "We're minding Ben for the night."
Just as she suspected, his head snapped around at her words, his eyes widened with surprise.
"Actually - " she continued with a dramatic sigh, looking down at her watch, "I should get going now. Ben will already be there . . ."
"Why - why are you two babysitting? Why didn't Jenny ask me?" he stammered.
"I don't know," she answered, acting distracted as she stood up, searching for her coat. "Maybe because she's going out on a date."
"She's what?" he gapped in disbelief, obviously forgetting himself.
"Yes," she said in an off-hand tone as she gathered up her keys. "She's meeting him at Nicola's. She's probably there now . . ." she trailed off purposely.
"Nicola's? It that the Italian place?" he demanded, not quite hiding his desperation.
"Um - yes, I think so," she replied with a fake shrug. "Look, I've got to go . . . I'll see you on Monday . . ."
She left, smiling to herself as she rounded the corner. If she was not very much mistaken, his jealousy was right on track. And by the way he was so insistent on verifying the restaurant, he was going to show up there. Hopefully, the guy Abby had set Jenny up with would be scared off by the arrival of the 'ex-husband', and he'd leave Jenny and Cutter to it. Well, that was Abby's plan anyway; Sarah was just the puppet. Still, she hoped it worked. Jenny and Cutter were just meant to be - anyone who wasn't blind could see that. And Ben needed his mum and dad together. Whatever had gone on between them was surely not as important as that? Hopefully, Cutter's jealousy was enough to inject a bit of fight into him to get her back.
Jenny sat at the table in the restaurant Ethan had suggested, nervously fingering the edge of her napkin. Every few seconds, it crossed her mind to just get up and leave - she hadn't dated for years, and was out of practice, not that she'd much cared for it in the first place. The uncomfortableness, the awkward glances, the suffocating pauses in the conversation - she could do without it all, especially right at that moment. She could think of about a million things that she would rather be doing.
Her mind made up, she pushed out her chair and was half stood when a man appeared in front of her. She knew that her mouth had fell open. He looked in his mid-thirties and was very tall and muscular, with olive skin and eyes that were so dark, they looked almost black. He smiled with genuine warmth as their gazes met.
"Jenny I assume?" he said kindly, holding out his hand for her to take.
"Wow," Jenny said before she could stop herself. He was quite possibly the most attractive man she had ever seen in her entire life. He gave her a very funny look, so she hurried to correct herself. "I mean hi, I'm Jenny," she added rather breathlessly, extending her hand to shake his.
"Ethan," he nodded, taking a seat opposite her. "I must say, I'm relieved. I don't usually go on blind dates, but Abby was very complimentary about you, so I couldn't resist."
"Why, what did she say?" Jenny asked with trepidation, lowering herself back down onto her chair.
"That you were one of the most beautiful woman in London," he smiled, reclining back and surveying her. "And I'm glad to say that I'm in full agreement."
She blushed slightly, not knowing what to say.
He squeezed his eyes shut, looking embarrassed. "Sorry - I sound like someone from a cheesy nineteen-sixties musical."
"No, it's fine," she smiled, feeling uncharacteristically flustered.
It was the main course, and yet Jenny found herself wanting to leave less and less with each passing moment. She hated to admit it, but Ethan was a terrific date - he was interesting, funny, and very attentive, listening to her when she spoke with his head tilted to the side, as though in deep concentration. And he wasn't horrible to look at either . . .
He had just finished telling her about his divorce a few years previously, and telling her about his daughter, Lilly.
" . . . I've got a picture of her with me," he said, fishing inside his jacket pocket. He retrieved his wallet and pulled out a slightly dog-eared photograph that he handed over.
Jenny looked down at it, and was taken aback to see a young teenage girl, with raven hair and dark brown eyes, looking out with a slightly aspirated expression as though she didn't like getting the photograph taken.
"She's beautiful," Jenny said honestly, passing the photograph back. "How old is she?"
"Thirteen going on thirty," he grinned, replacing the picture in his wallet and pocketing it.
She laughed slightly. "I'm sorry, you just don't look old enough to have a thirteen-year-old daughter."
"We had her when we were very young," he explained. "What about you? Do you have any children?" he asked curiously, taking a sip of the expensive red wine he had ordered.
"I've got one little boy, Ben," she replied, hoping that Nick wasn't about to creep up in the conversation. "He's three."
"And his father?" Ethan asked in a casual voice, although he looked up at her with a serious expression. "I'm sorry to ask, but - "
"We're . . . we're not together any more," Jenny replied truthfully.
"What happened?" he probed gently. He must have noticed the look on her face, as he hurriedly added, "I'm sorry, just tell me to shut up if I'm being too nosy."
"No, it's fine," she said with an attempted smile. "He just . . . well, he didn't feel the same way about me."
"Poor guy," he said, shaking his head.
"How so?"
"Losing a woman like you," he said. "He must be an idiot to let you go."
Chuckling slightly, Jenny reclined back in her seat. "You don't even know me," she pointed out to him.
"Well I'm hoping to change that," he replied with a smile that made her stomach back-flip.
"Oh is that so - ?" she began to joke, but was cut off by a voice that stopped her heart.
"Jenny?" Nick's voice floated over to her.
She froze, gapping as she spotted Nick weaving in between the tables, making his way over to them. His face was stony, anger etched in his features, and when he reached them, he glared down at her so hard that she could practically feel the fury radiating from him.
"What - what are you doing here?" she demanded, torn between embarrassment and anger.
"Oh, I was passing and I saw you through the window, so I thought I'd come in and say hello," he said in a forced-calm voice. He turned to Ethan with a strained smile, and held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Jenny's husband - "
Jenny let out a laugh of disbelief.
"What?" Ethan spluttered, looking in between them both, a confused expression on his face.
"Excuse us," she said to Ethan, before standing up, grabbing Nick's arm in a vice-like grip and marching him over to the bar area.
"Have you lost your mind?" she snarled, smacking him lightly in the chest. "What the hell are you playing at?"
"Hm, well I found out my wife is out on a date, so I thought I'd come and see who the lucky man was."
"Ex-wife," she corrected angrily, narrowing her eyes. "And you've got no right to just barge in like this. It's none of your business who I'm out with . . . come to think of it, how did you know I was here?"
"Sarah told me. And how the hell did you expect me to react?"
"Sarah?" Jenny repeated, feeling completely bemused. "But why would she . . .?"
Then all of a sudden, the penny dropped. So that was their plan all along - Abby had set her up with Ethan so that Nick would barge in and ruin everything, and they hoped that she'd fall back into his arms.
Laughing to herself in complete incredulity, she pulled out her mobile and furiously dialed Abby's number. Much to her frustration, there was no answer, and she only got the voicemail. "Abby," she snapped after the beep. "I know what you're are playing at, and it stops now. Nick has just turned up at the restaurant, and completely humiliated me! And by the way, if you speak to Sarah, tell her I'm pissed at her too."
She slammed her phone shut, and turned back to a still angry-looking Nick.
"Just go, okay?" she added to him. "I can do without this tonight."
"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why you're out on a date!"
"Because I'm single. Why shouldn't I be out?" she retorted cruelly, aware that Ethan was looking over at them arguing. "Just leave me to try and salvage the rest of my evening."
She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her arm to stop her. "You're my wife Jenny," he said in a low voice. "I'm not having you out on a date."
She laughed coldly. "Oh please Nick. It's a little late to play the afflicted husband."
"You know, I don't know why I'm surprised," he whispered venomously, gripping her arm tighter. "After all, you were hardly the little angel when we met were you? You told me you'd cheated on Mark - "
She wrenched herself away from him, looking at him with disgust. "Go to hell," she spat furiously, before she turned her back on him and returning to her table, hitching the standard plastic smile on her face as she sat down.
"Sorry about that," she sighed to Ethan, who was looking thoroughly confused. "My ex . . . he's still got this ridiculous notion of the two of us getting back together."
He hesitated slightly, before leaning towards her. "Look Jenny, it doesn't bother me, unless it's mutual on your part. I'd really like us to do something again, but I don't want to waste my time with someone who isn't interested."
"I am interested," she answered immediately, her anger at Nick's intrusion probably making her more inclined to accept the invitation of another date.
Ethan smiled and nodded, reaching over and resting his hand on hers gently. Completely taken aback by the unexpected gesture, she glanced around, secretly hoping that Nick hadn't seen that particular display of affection. But he was nowhere to be seen.
"I can't remember the last time I've laughed so much," Ethan informed her as they walked down the darkened street.
Thanks to the copious amount of wine she'd consumed, Jenny had found herself unsteady on her feet as the fresh air hit her, and Ethan had wound his arm around her waist to keep her walking in a straight line, which she was grateful for. She was surprised at how comfortable she felt with him; she had never expected to find anyone she could let her guard down with after Nick.
"You must be an easy guy to please then," she joked, leaning into him a bit more as they walked.
"Or you're just a dazzling dining companion?" he suggested as he stopped, and put his hands on her upper arms, turning her round to face him gently.
Her breath caught in her mouth as she realised how close his lips were to hers.
"So," he breathed, squeezing her arms slightly. "Am I to take it that we can do this again some time?"
She raised her chin to meet his, and inhaled slowly. "It's a definite possibility," she replied in a teasing manner.
"Some time soon?" he pushed, his hands traveling softly up her arms and flicking her hair back over her shoulder.
"Perhaps," she nodded with a smile.
"Good," he grinned.
Then he did something that took her completely by surprise - he leaned forwards and caught her slightly parted lips inbewteen his own. Instinctually, she kissed him back, enjoying the bolt of thrill that ran through her at his touch. However, just as his hands wandered up her back, pulling her closer, the image of Nick popped up clearly in Jenny's mind, squashing any pleasant feelings she had in a wave of guilt.
With an involuntary sob, she broke away, touching the back of her hand up to her mouth.
"I'm sorry," Ethan said immediately, his forehead creased with concern as his eyes searched her face. "I thought - "
"No, it's not you," she replied in a shaky voice.
"Then what . . .?" he asked, before he paused and stepped back from her. "It's your husband isn't it?"
She looked up at him, feeling tears prick at the corner of her eyes, and reluctantly, she nodded.
"You're still in love with him?"
After hesitating for a moment, she nodded again.
He dropped his head, sighing deeply with a resigned look on his face.
"I'm sorry," she said in a small voice, ignoring the slightly dizzy feeling she had. "I really am."
"Well, I can't say I'm not disappointed," he said. He sighed again and looked up at her. "Come on," he added eventually with a sad smile. "I'll take you home."
She sniffed, and nodded with a grateful smile, allowing him to put his arm around her shoulder to walk her over to the taxi rank.
"Although," he said in a forced humourous voice. "If you're ever looking for no strings sex, you can always call me. I mean it - day or night - I'll be at your beckon call."
Jenny chuckled, and he laughed himself.
"I'll be sure to bare you in mind," she joked.
"Excuse me?" a familiar voice said from behind them.
They turned, and Jenny caught a flash of Nick's face, contorted with anger, before he punched Ethan in the jaw so hard that he staggered backwards and fell against the wall.
"Nick!" Jenny gasped, pushing him away as he made to lunge at him again. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"So you just expect me to ignore the fact that you're taking some random bloke back - "
"I was just taking her home mate," Ethan argued, staggering to his feet and nursing a bloodied lip.
"What - through the portal in her mouth?" Nick laughed coldly.
"It's got nothing to do with you anyway!" Ethan shouted, straightening up and puffing out his chest.
"It's got everything to do with me!" Nick snarled, making to square up to him, but again, Jenny pushed him away.
"Nick, just back off!" she yelled, before she turned to Ethan. "Look, you'd better just go."
"No, I'm not leaving you here with him!" he gapped.
"Why, what do you think I'm going to do to her?" Nick barked, his nostrils flaring with anger.
"Please Ethan, just go," Jenny begged, desperate to separate them before the inevitable brawl started.
Ethan hesitated, breathing hard as he gave Nick the filthiest look imaginable. "Alright," he said to Jenny eventually. "But I'll call you tomorrow to see if you're okay - "
"She'll be fine tomorrow!" Nick interjected, moving forward slightly, forcing Jenny to rest her hand on his chest in a warning. "So don't bother calling."
Ethan opened his mouth as though he was going to speak, but he seemed to think better if it, and instead he shook his head and turned, walking off into the night. When Jenny was sure he was a safe distance away, she turned back to Nick, literally shaking with rage.
"How dare you," she breathed dangerously.
"If you expect me to apologise for doing it, you'll be waiting a long time," he stated coldly.
Laughing in disbelief, she shook her head. "Stay away from me," she said acidly, before storming over to a taxi, and getting in it without looking back.
Still furious a long while after she had gotten home, Jenny slammed her kitchen cupboards shut with unnecessary force as she retrieved a glass to pour herself a generous helping of red wine.
The nerve of him! she thought to herself over and over again. What gives him the right to blaze in to where she was enjoying a nice meal with a nice guy and muck everything up!
She slammed the bottle of wine down on the counter, and took a particularly large gulp. What, did he expect her to stay single for the rest of her life just to please him? She set her glass down and rested her hands on the counter, breathing irregularly as she fought to bring her blood pressure back down.
There was one thought that did cross her mind that made her anger dissipate ever so slightly. How would she have felt if it was Nick out on a date with another woman? She knew the answer to that almost immediately, and a reluctant burning shame emanated from her stomach. Yes, she would have been devastated. She knew that. Still, she doubted very much that she'd show up at the restaurant if the roles were reversed.
Her thoughts were halted by her doorbell ringing. With a sigh, she looked up at the clock and saw that it was eleven thirty as night - who would be calling at this hour? Maybe it was Abby bringing Ben back? But Jenny was certain he was meant to be staying the night with her. Unless something had happened . . .
At that thought, she hurried to answer it, wrenching the door open quickly. She froze, heart thudding, as Nick's face greeted her unexpectedly.
She stared at him for a few moments, the door held half open. After no words seemed forthcoming off her, Nick spoke first.
"Hi," he said quietly.
"Hi," she breathed back.
There was another silence, broken only by the sound of sirens ringing in the distance.
"Can I come in?" he asked tentatively.
For a second, she considered answering with a blatant no - she considered slamming the door in his face, and walking away. But she couldn't.
Without a word, she stepped back, allowing him to pass her. He paused in the hallway as she closed the door and turned back to him. His eyes were trained on the floor, but as she watched him, his gaze slowly crept upwards to her legs, and with a twinge of embarrassment, she remembered that she had changed into her black silk night dress, that was a bit too revealing for her comfort threshold. She cleared her throat and shifted her feet uncomfortably, causing his gaze to snap back to the floor.
"What do you want Nick?" she asked, folding her arms over her chest.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry," he mumbled, still looking anywhere but her. "You're right - it was none of my business."
This surprised her slightly, but she nodded, and pretended it was what she wanted to hear. "Okay then," she gulped.
He moved his hand absently, and a flash of red caught her eye; his knuckles were cut from where he had punched Ethan.
"You're bleeding," she pointed out; despite how angry she was with him, she hated seeing him hurt.
He glanced down at his hand and shrugged. "I'm alright."
She tutted, rolling her eyes at his flippant attitude. "Come here," she sighed, leading him into the living room and gesturing for him to sit down as she fetched the iodine from the medicine cabinet.
Reluctantly, she perched on the couch next to him, feeling a need to fill the silence.
"I should really go and change after this," she remarked as she soaked a clean cloth in the solution.
"Don't on my account," he said with a suppressed smile.
"Well it's not really appropriate any more is it?" she said in a tense voice.
"It's not exactly anything I haven't seen before," he stated.
Jenny narrowed her eyes, and pushed the iodine-drenched cloth on his cuts. He swore loudly and tried to pull his hand out of hers, but she held it tight. "Stop being such a baby, I've got to clean it," she said, fighting the urge to laugh with difficulty.
"You're getting too much pleasure out of hurting me," he said through gritted teeth.
"That's just a happy bonus," she smiled in a false sweet manner.
After she had dressed his hand, she stood up abruptly, straightening out her nightdress as she did so.
"You should go now," she said firmly.
He sighed, running his hand through his gelled back hair. "Can we talk?"
"I've got nothing to say," she said sternly, moving towards the hall.
"Well I've got plenty to say," he retorted, getting to his feet also, although he made no movement towards the door.
She turned and let out a cool laugh. "Well there's a surprise," she said sarcastically.
"Look," he began patiently. "I know what you try and do. You never speak to me unless the baby's there, because you know I can't say much. And whenever we're alone, you just cut me off. But there's so much I want to say to you."
"Oh yeah? Like what?" she asked coldly, placing her hands on her hips.
"I miss you," he stated, taking her aback slightly - she hadn't expected him to be so forward.
"Well that's just tough isn't it?" she replied, her tone as icy as she could make it. "All of this happened because of you, not me."
"I know that."
"Then stop talking about it like none of this is your fault - like you're the one who's hard done by," she snapped, her temper rising. "The reason this is all happening is because you did what you always do, and never let me in."
"I want to let you in now."
"Well it's a bit too late for that!" she exclaimed hotly.
"But if we could just talk about it - "
"I don't want to talk Nick!" she yelled, flinging her hands in the air in frustration. "It hurts! It hurts to stand here talking to you!"
"I'm sorry," he said, his voice quivering.
"Sorry isn't going to change anything is it darling?" she stated, using sarcasm to cover her shaking voice. "We built a life together. We had a family, and you destroyed it. You destroyed me. What more do you want?"
"You!" he shouted back, closing the distance between them with two strides. "All I want is you, and Ben. That's it!"
"Well we've been doing fine without you," she lied, forcing herself to keep looking into his eyes. "I don't need you anymore."
"Well I need you," he breathed, standing in a close proximity to her that she suddenly felt unnerved.
"At least you've still got that photograph of Claudia," she pointed out cruelly.
"I've threw the photograph away a long time ago," he informed her.
"You shouldn't have," she said, looking upwards to blink away the tears. "If it was worth destroying our relationship for, then it was definitely a keeper."
"Will you stop this cold, heartless bitch facade please? It's not you."
"It is now, thanks to you," she pointed out with a mocking bow of the head.
He looked away from her, letting out a long exhale. "I never wanted things to turn out this way."
For a second, she was about to bite back with an off-hand, sarcastic comment, but the sadness and hopelessness visible in his eyes made it impossible. "I know you didn't," she said eventually in a quiet voice.
He looked back up at her, his expression genuinely surprised. "You do?"
"Of course," she answered in the same low voice. "But that doesn't change the fact that it did."
Silence cut through them again. She knew he was looking at her, trying to make eye contact, but she kept her gaze firmly on the wall opposite, knowing that as soon as she lost herself in those blue eyes, she'd either break down or lose her head completely and pull him into a kiss.
He seemed to know what she was thinking; indeed she had often suspected he had the uncanny ability to read her mind. All she knew was that right at that second, the atmosphere switched from suffocating and fragile to a palpable sexual tension. She could feel his eyes traveling over her, the intensity of his gaze making her burn, and for the life of her, she couldn't stop herself from looking up at him too. Her heart thudded wildly as he reached up and gently pushed a strand of her hair back behind her ears, closing the gap between them as he did so.
"Nick," she warned, although she didn't move away, nor make any attempt to regain her distance.
Not put off, he leaned in further, his lips brushing against her neck. She closed her eyes, unable to stop herself enjoying the feel of him - it'd been a bloody long time after all. Caught up in moment, she tiled her head to the side to allow his lips to continue what they had started as they traced the curvature of her neck, each kiss sending bolts of pleasure through her. Finally, he pulled away, his lips finding hers, and that was it - she was well and truly caught.
The euphoria engulfed them both, and in his enthusiasm, he actually picked her up with the force of his kiss, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He stumbled towards the stairs, slamming her up against the wall and groaning as her fingernails dug into his back. Their hands desperately groped at each other, all the sadness and tension they'd been feeling over the past six months trying to escape in one go, and somehow, still entwined, they managed to make it up the stairs.